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rewatching old criminal minds and suddenly I wanted a 1940s noir AU

1) liaison jj, as her role was more unique, she was on-screen less but more interesting as a character. She was always quite vocal that she didn’t want to be a profiler, it seemed to come out of nowhere. If she’d shown interest in the run-up ( looking over how to write a profile, asking her team to test her on x/y/z , reading up on it/studying for one of the tests...)I might have found it more believable.

2) profiler emily, as politics were never her thing early on, and I thought she was a great addition to the team. Again, if we’d seen her opinion shift and had her try it before, it would have felt more organic!

3) casual morgan feels truer to his character, as he’s always ready to jump into action-it must be so constrictive to have to wear a suit when you’re kicking down doors/ running after unsubs!

4) hotch in suits. I am a sucker for a classically handsome man in a suit, and the whole put together, show no emotion façade he puts up goes perfectly well with his immaculate suit and perfectly tied tie! It’s close though, as I do love him in casual wear too!

5) hotch without a beard, though it’s close. I normally prefer men clean-shaven, but he rocks the beard!

6) Reid without glasses, I like that it doesn’t perpetuate the stereotypical nerd trope!

7) Reid with short hair. It looks best when Hotch asks him if he joined a boyband, hee!

8) Penelope with blonde hair, by, no pun intended, a hair! As a blonde, I preferred when our hair colours matched! Ironically, I think she looks best as a redhead posing as a blonde in Reflections of Desire, when she has to do a videoed press conference-total Marilyn Monroe off-set vibes!

9) Morgan as unit chief! He did such a great job and could definitely have continued if Hotch had stepped down and taken the 9-5 desk job!

10) I like both for different reasons. Both super smart, but in very different ways, and extremely different personalities. For the language connection and her lovely relationship with Spencer, I’ll say Blake, if I really have to choose!

11) Haven’t seen past Season 11, and the little glimpse I got of Mike wasn’t really enough to pass judgement on him. Luke seems very sweet though, and he ends up with Penelope, and if she likes him that much, I should go for him!

12) early seasons, until about 7/8, when the cliffhangers stopped being so good. The first 4/5 seasons have brilliant finales, I have no idea how anyone who watched when they aired on TV coped until the next season started, as they were total cliff-hangers, with 4 being the best!

13) Foyet arc, as cannot actually bring myself to fully watch all the Scratch eps, just too bloody terrifying. The Foyet arc was so long, with so many little clues, and the reveal about who Foyet actually is made me gasp/get shivers down my spine! 

14) Both, for different reasons! The end of Season 1 had me ordering the Season 2 DVDs immediately, as I only bought Season 1 to see if I got on with the show! Season 7 was a lovely ensemble moment, showcasing the team’s closeness and it just makes me so happy! 

15) Emily, as we got more insight into her character, but, if Elle had stayed, I think she would have grown on me- I didn’t like or relate to her much in Season 1, but liked her arc at the end. They were both tough, take no crap ladies who could be funny. I think Emily also got on better with Penelope/JJ/the other female profilers ( training Todd, great relationship with Tara...).

16) Both interesting characters with their own flaws and merits. Long-term, Seaver would have bern more interesting, and she seemed to gel with the team more, hanging out with Penelope, Morgan and Reid at least once outside of work hours. 

17) Tank top Emily, especially the red one! JJ’s style is preppier, with the shirts, and she looks so beautiful in those light blue shirts she often wore!

18) Hotch in a suit. Matches so well with his personality and makes him even more attractive!

19) Lauren, as have not seen the Spencer episode, as I think it’s post Season 11, with the prison arc. I did however really enjoy the Riley Jenkins episodes, which are pretty Reid-centric!

20) Season 1 Hotch and Haley are so sweet as new parents, and when Hotch is at home they have some adorable moments together that made me squee. However, once Hotch is a single dad, I loved Beth and their relationship. She was really confident, funny, had a great job and would have made a fantastic new partner for Hotch, had she stayed. We only really got to see the bad side of Hotch and Haley after the first season. 

criminal minds asks: this or that

1. liaison jj or profiler jj?

2. profiler emily or unit chief emily?

3. morgan in suits or morgan in casual clothes?

4. hotch in suits or hotch in casual clothes?

5. hotch with a beard or without a beard?

6. reid with glasses or without glasses?

7. reid with long hair or reid with short hair?

8. penelope with red hair or penelope with blonde hair?

9. morgan as a profiler or morgan as unit chief?

10. kate or blake?

11. matt or luke?

12. early seasons or later seasons?

13. the scratch arc or the foyet arc?

14. season 1 finale or season 7 finale?

15. elle or emily?

16. seaver or todd?

17. tank top jj or tank top emily?

18. morgan in a suit or hotch in a suit?

19. the “spencer” episode or the “lauren” episode

20. hotch/haley or hotch/beth?

Names are hard!

Just planning out my Gotcha! post-S15 fic series and decided I wanted to write a little blurb for each character: job, location, and, if they have any more children, said children’s names. I have decided that Alex and James Blake foster/adopt some children, and I was really struggling to find a boy name, until I thought “Luke! Luke is a great name! No-one else on the show canonically has that na… Oh whoops, except Luke Alvez!” . In my defence, I haven’t seen anything past Season 11! I then decided on Matthew instead, again forgetting about Matt Simmons and also gave two baby girls the name Charlotte and realised I’d given two characters the same name, one as middle and one as first, but still! I obviously do not have much imagination and am evidently very attached to  certain names! 

This is one of my favourite episodes. It never fails to make me cry every time I watch it, but at different moments or for different reasons.

Elliot being all brash and writing off the crazy perp/suspect at first, but then shutting up and listening to Olivia telling him it’s Kathleen.

He immediately goes from judgemental cop mode to concerned dad mode, and he is right, Kathleen’s girlfriends have abandoned her.

Going to see his mother is such a poignant moment.

I love that their different accounts of the same event show their different personalities/the choices they’ve made in life.

She’s talking about making sandcastles on the beach, how it was blissful and idyllic, he remembers being scared out of his mind and thinking his mother wanted him dead.

She remembers wanting to go on an adventure to Paris to become a painter, while he remembers a chaotic trip that probably involved being woken up in the early hours of the morning and his mother being loud and embarrassing.

Elliot has definitely chosen to parent very differently from the way he was raised, which in some ways is great, as he tells his kids he is proud of them, that he loves them, gives them hugs and reassurance when they are afraid or upset as well as giving them rules and structure. He tries very hard to be patient and gentle with them, to not be physically or verbally abusive, but can be too over-protective sometimes and not trust his kids to make their own choices and mistakes, then face the consequences of their actions.

His parents were emotionally and physically absent ( dad working double shifts and mum who would take to her bed for days/weeks at a time), so while Elliot does work long hours, we see him actively trying to make time for his wife and kids, doing tasks that his father would have considered Bernie’s responsibility like preparing dinner. He also tries to go out for dinner/to a picnic with his family , playing at the park, driving the kids  to school, reading them stories, doing their hair…

Something he always does is apologise to his kids if he’s been too controlling/come down too hard on them/made a bad parenting decision, which I can’t imagine his parents ever did. 

Olivia going to see Bernie is just an incredible moment, we can see how much she loved and still loves her son, and her experience with mental health facilities in the late 60’s/early 70’s is just heart-breaking. 

The scene really shows Olivia’s deep ability to empathise and not judge, it really made me love her more than I already did. It also showcases just how much she cares about Elliot and his family.

Bernie’s exchange with Kathleen and when she tells her the story of driving in the ice and snow which causes her to crash the car and break Elliot’s arm ( he would have be3n about 3 at the time) is just a perfect way to explain that her actions are hurting the people she loves. 

Kathleen thinking her dad hates her breaks my heart.

This episode makes me wonder when Joe Sr died, as Kathleen is able to remember stealing his hat and cigars for a snowman she made with Bernie, but no actual dates are given.

The accounts of Elliot’s childhood also very much make him sound like he was an only child, but I know in earlier episodes he references siblings as he says his parents didn’t praise or say I love you to us growing up, it was just the typical Irish way of doing things at the time. 

In later episodes ( the more recent ones, in L and O OC), we find out that he has 3 brothers and two sisters. From what I have heard, he is the second oldest, which just seems weird to me. 

If he were the eldest, I think he would have stayed in touch with his mum to make sure his younger siblings were safe, so I like to think he is the youngest, by 10-15 years. Bernie and Joe Sr had the first 5 kids within the first 5-10 years of marriage, then they had a big gap, and as Joe Sr got progressively more violent/abusive and started cheating more and more, Bernie thought maybe a new baby might help him be faithful/get his act together. Hence no mention of siblings being around during Bernie’s episodes or Joe Sr beating Elliot ( Ripped, Season 7).

All in all, this is such a powerful episode about mental health, families, parenting and how the choices you make can affect those you love. 

Bernie to elliot: But it wasn't your life. It isn't your life. You living your living your father's life all over again. If you can only find a way to be your own man.

I love how the two of them are so different. He's weighted down by responsibility and how much that shaped his life. How stability is something he didn't have as a kid. And how much he craves it and how much he fights for it for his kids.

Bernie is so uncombered by responsibility she is a free spirit and lives her life by her own rules. But it cost her a great deal to chase her own heart. So Elliot went the other way. He chose responsibility and stability over what he wanted in his heart.

Bernie just wants him to go out there and be himself. And now finally he's had time to get to know who he is away from the job. In Rome. He's gotten more comfortable with his emotions. He expresses them much easier now.

So what's going to go down with him and his mom in the new episodes? Did she know about Kathy's murder? I can't think she didn't know by why was she not there?

This was such a vital relationship to elliot. His mother. Who shaped the man who he became. I wanted so much for them to delve me into this relationship and so hopefully they will in oc.

I just think that the two is them are opposite sides of a coin. Both need to learn from the other to be a better person. Elliot needs to live more for himself and Bernie needs to own up to her responsibilities, obligations and her family.

Last song: I have had Popular from Wivked on the brain since I saw the movie, does that count!

Favourite colour: teal, purple and red, but honestly, I like most colours so rainbow 🌈

Last Book: last one I remember was the last volume of The Seven Sisters, which was about the father who adopted the aforementioned seven sisters. It was probably the bes5 book in the series.

Last movie: A French film about Sarah Bernhardt’s life. It was really boring, my dad and I both fell asleep during it!

TV Show: Currently watching Season 19 of Law and Order SVU. I am really enjoying the new characters, especially Carisi. Rollins is great too, she reminds me a little bit of Jeffries ( Munch’s partner in S 1 and 2) and it’s great to have a female friend for Olivia, as well as having anothe4 female character to look up to. Fin continues to be brilliant and I love Olivia a lot. Barba took a while to warm up to, but I think he is pretty great. At first he was v much a serious guy who was there to just do his job and he came across as a bit cold.

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: I am a spice wimp, so, depending on my mood, either savoury or sweet, though I do always have to finish a meal with a dessert, so mainly sweet.

Relationship Status: chronically single!

Last thing I googled: Peter Scanavino’s age and what his children are called. He’s only a couple of years older than me!

Something I am looking forward to: My niece’s first birthday in May and my parents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary celebration extravaganza with the whole family in August.

tagging @themetaphorgirl @sergle @thestuffedalligator @sequinsmile-x

10 people I'd like to get to know more 🩷

tagged by @jamieroyjamieroy 😘

Last song: Same Old Song by The Lumineers

Fave Color: Orange 🧡

Last Book: I finished: das Kalendermädchen by Sebastian Fitzek; currently reading Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll

Last Movie: Deadpool & Wolverine

Last TV Show: NCIS Los Angeles (still watching)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweet 🍩🍨🍦🎂🍰🍫

Relationship Status: Married 💍

Last thing I Googled: how the Deadpool movie was called 🤣🤣

Looking Forward to: visiting concerts and musicals this year❤️

Current Obsession: Lou Ferrigno Jr, Bucktommy

tagging: @profwonderbearthementalista @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @beautifulhigh @de-lphic @investingingrayhairs if you want to 😊😊

This is the fic I was looking for! It is really awesome!

Small Town Moose: Part 19

AN: I can not believe that this is the last part, but I just love the ending so much. I’m really close to tears right now. Please enjoy! 

Master List

It’s five am, and you’re a little under twelve hours away from getting married. Moose is spread out on the cool tile, Aaron is still fast asleep in your bed, snoring softly, and both children are miraculously still asleep: Jack because he’s so excited and Olivia because she apparently has a vendetta against sleep. You stare at the box with a mix of apprehension and excitement. 

You debate going through with this now, or waiting until you get home tonight. You’re just about to toss the box back under the seat when a hand settles against your hip. You turn to find a still half asleep Aaron wrapping himself around you. You smile and reach back to run your fingers through his hair, “Good morning.” 

His eyes are still closed, and his voice is still filled with sleep, “Morning.” 

He presses a kiss against your neck, and your eyes flutter closed, “IF you leave a mark on me this morning, I will kill you.” 

Keep reading

Which Baby Are You?

JANUARY BABY

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.

FEBRUARY BABY

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.

MARCH BABY

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others. If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.

APRIL BABY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that’s caught your eye will introduce themselves and you will realize that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

MAY BABY

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak too much in the next 4 days.

JUNE BABY

You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you’ve got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.

JULY BABY

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days

AUGUST BABY

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of “that someone”. Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by “no pain no gain” caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. “charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter. Repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.

SEPTEMBER BABY

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. If you do not repost this in the next 5 mins, someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.

OCTOBER BABY

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

NOVEMBER BABY

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. Repost in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming up sometime this month.

DECEMBER BABY

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible… Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

1. We would miss you. 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again… 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don’t even know you and I love you. 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is. 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life. 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you’re proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. Sherlock season three. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453 UK Helplines: Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111 Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600 Drinkline: 0800 9178282 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614 India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669 Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines; Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430 Australia: 13-11-14 Austria: 01-713-3374 Barbados: 429-9999 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 391-1270 Brazil: 21-233-9191 China: 852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong: 2389-2222) Costa Rica: 606-253-5439 Croatia: 01-4833-888 Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark: 70-201-201 Egypt: 762-1602 Estonia: 6-558-088 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 01-45-39-4000 Germany: 0800-181-0721 Greece: 1018 Guatemala: 502-234-1239 Holland: 0900-0767 Honduras: 504-237-3623 Hungary: 06-80-820-111 Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90 Ireland: 1800-247-100 Israel: 09-8892333 Italy: 06-705-4444 Japan: 3-5286-9090 Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia: 03-756-8144 (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444) Mexico: 525-510-2550 Netherlands: 0900-0767 New Zealand: 4-473-9739 New Guinea: 675-326-0011 Nicaragua: 505-268-6171 Norway: 47-815-33-300 Philippines: 02-896-9191 Poland: 52-70-000 Portugal: 239-72-10-10 Russia: 8-20-222-82-10 Serbia: 21-6623-393 Spain: 91-459-00-50 South Africa: 0861-322-322 South Korea: 2-715-8600 Sweden: 031-711-2400 Switzerland: 143 Taiwan: 0800-788-995 Thailand: 02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800 Ukraine: 0487-327715 Uruguay: 095 73 8483 You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.

✨I started two jobs, one nannying, just before lockdown started and one in a crèche, during lockdown!

🌸 going back to work after nearly 2 years of unemployment!

☁️ More travelling!

🥂seeing my parents for Christmas 2020!

😐 hunting for food or household essentials that were out of stock!

🌄 N/A

🎬 Onward was the most memorable, in early 2020. Oh, and Little Women. I saw them both twice! There was a period of a few weeks when the cinemas re-opened and I went to see everything I possibly could during that period, even if they were all rubbish!

📈Lots of arts and crafts with the children I nanny, writing more letters, writing fanfiction...

📖 Circe by Madeline Miller. Interesting to hear a mythological tale from a strong female perspective,  beautiful writing and just a great read!

🎼 Not really!

📆 April, with the birth of my nephew, or June/July, when I found out my brother had got engaged! August was good too, as it was my month off work and I had a month at my parents’, watching TV, eating home-cooked meals, swimming and walking.

☀️ My nephew being born in April, brother’s engagement in June/July!

❤️ favourite meal out of 2020: going out to celebrate my brother’s engagement with my parents, brother and future sister-in-law in August!

📝 that magpies steal eggs from other birds’ nests! 

💥that I miss seeing people sometimes, even though I am really good at and enjoy being on my own. Also that I need to go to the cinema a lot!

🌈 my brother’s wedding, if it goes ahead, and a proper family Christmas!

🔥 N/A

⏱ I guess, as what is considered late for some people/cultures is on time for others!

2020 asks 😄

✨ whats the most "unprecedented" thing that happened to you this year? lol

🌸 whats something youre proud of for accomplishing?

☁️ whats something you wish you couldve accomplished?

🥂 most exciting thing you did?

😐 most underwhelming thing you did?

📸 post a picture from your camera roll.

🎬 did you watch any new movies this year? what movie(s) would you have preferred seeing in a theater?

📈 any new hobbies that you took up? or old ones that you went back to?

📖 did you read anything particularly interesting this year? why was it interesting?

🎶 did you discover new songs or artists this year? write a two-sentence review for your favorite one(s).

📅 favorite month of 2020?

☀️ favorite event of 2020?

❤️ favorite _____ of 2020?

📝 whats something you learned this year?

💥 whats something you learned about *yourself* this year?

🌈 what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

🔥 ask me for my opinion on something.

🕐 bonus: do you think time is a social construct?

I used to be mad about "whole language" reading approaches in theory but now I work with school-age kids and I am mad about it in practice.