#1 Buddie Warrior Maddie Buckley Han Strikes Again

Learned today that the Plagiarism Machine (AKA Ch*tGPT) often incorporates em dashes into the drivel "writing" it produces, to the point people now flag em dash usage as an indicator a given bit of writing was produced by the Plagiarism Machine.

(It uses em dashes, one should note, because it was trained on material written by people who use them, AKA creative writers. See again: Plagiarism Machine.)

This is deeply distressing to me as a writer who has never-not-once used the Plagiarism Machine, because I LOVE EM DASHES SO FUCKING MUCH. I use them constantly. But since I would be MORTIFIED if someone thought I was using plagiarism software to produce my work, I caught myself momentarily contemplating striking them from my writing toolbox (or at least using them less frequently).

But here's the thing: I refuse to let a soulless, capitalist hellscape device chase me away from something I enjoy, let alone dictate the writing style I've developed over the course of two decades.

To make myself feel better about continuing on as normal—no matter what the fuck the Plagiarism Machine may say about it—I decided to do some research. The Plagiarism Machine was released in 2022. My most notable online work is Lucky Child, which began serialization in 2017. Even earlier samples of my work feature frequent em dash usage. Thus, my em dash usage predates the Plagiarism Machine by a not inconsiderable margin. For proof (and to comfort myself that no one could ever try and claim my em dash usage is indicative of the Plagiarism Machine's influence) I decided to look at the first chapter of Lucky Child, and—

I literally use one in the opening line.

I use a total of 9 in the first chapter alone.

The Plagiarism Machine owes every creative writer on the internet both a thank-you for the lesson in em dash usage AND an apology for absorbing that lesson without our consent.

With or without capitalism, some of us are still disabled and going to continue being disabled for the rest of our lives.

i started giggling to myself everytime i think about them

Here is your mission.

I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

i get so happy when people that are new to fanfic writing, or just writing in general, post their work on ao3. despite their doubts, despite their fear of something so personal and vulnerable being perceived, they still press that button, and i turn into the equivalent to a proud mom cheering on the sidelines. like yes! you did that! your work is worth seeing! you deserve to share your passion for and be part of a community! i’m so proud of you!

Happening to me... It weird to be listened too. I'm always expecting it to turn against me. Like where the other shoe at?

What do you mean the normal amount is zero?

You sure of that??

Like yeah there are times i don't feel pain, but like that's the exception not the rule....

Like that's not a rule... Right?