ꕥ — Found Someone Better / A New Tide

~MasterList~

Step in my Pandora and leave your worries on Earth. Where can Läwei’s Skimwing take you today?

Key:

✨Fluff

🥀Angst

🕷️Smut

Spider:

Analysis.

Shards. ✨(Small mentions of neglect.)

Bonds. ✨

Kiri:

Analysis.

Neytiri:

Analysis.

Quaritch:

Analysis (Human).

Analysis (Recom).

Jake:

Analysis.

Requests are open! Let me send you to a world of Eywa’s Creation!

~♡~

Feedback is always appreciated <3

Comments are my high.

They make me write faster.

~Läwei

Respectfully looking at So'lek. 👀

why him if not i? | neteyam sully

pairing: neteyam sully x omatikaya!fem! reader

warnings: swearing, jealousy, protective neteyam, mentions of mating, neteyam fighting over you, kissing, fluff

masterlist

neteyam was often jealous when it came to other boys around you, he hated it when other na'vi men would flirt with you or make you smile like he does. no, you and neteyam hadn't expressed your feelings to one another but it was quite obvious with the frequent touching, flirting and always being around each other. most of the clan was waiting upon the day neteyam would announce you were mated- and so were the two of you.

neteyam had been walking through the village when he heard a group of na'vi talking, he was going to just walk past but he stopped when he heard your name being spoken. neteyam thought the group were talking bad about you, and was going to step in and tell them all off for doing so. but as he listened closely to what they were saying, they were in fact not talking bad about you but you being mated with someone, his ears perked up with curiousity as he listened in. "did you hear, y/n and karait have mated." "i know, it's sorta weird. i thought her and neteyam were a thing, obviously not." "y/n and karait are adorable though, i saw him picking flowers for her this morning."

neteyam scrunched up his face, you and karait? mated? there was no way that you and him were mated, you would've told him. neteyam knew better than to believe the words of other people, he walked away from the group in search for you to tell you about the crazy rumours until he was stopped by lo'ak who ran up to him. "bro, have you heard?"

“what?”

“y/n and karait are apparently mated.” lo’ak said, he couldn’t believe it either.

neteyam rolled his eyes, not believing him. “it’s just rumours, y/n would’ve told me.”

“i thought the same thing, right? and then i saw them together and he was like all over her.” lo’ak told him, neteyam felt a pit form in his stomach at his brothers words. “you missed your chance bro.”

neteyam stood there taking it in,“shut up.” he stormed away, he really had missed his chance with you. he waited too long.

the rest of the day neteyam had been in a bad mood, he kept on hearing people in the clan talking about you and your new ‘mate’. to say he was jealous would be an understatement. and he couldn’t help but feel hurt as well, he was almost sure you had reciprocated his feelings. that’s what he got for letting his feelings get in the way. the feeling he got was sickening when he imagined you mating with another, them getting to please you and make you feel loved- it was all suppose to be him.

neteyam was drawing back his bow, ready to take a kill- but all he could think about was you, he wasn’t his usual focused self like he was all the time. he let go of the string letting the arrow fly towards his target, missing. he barely ever misses kills. his father noticed his son’s odd behaviour, taking notice of how his mind seemed to be in another place. “what’s wrong?” jake asked making neteyam turn to him.

“nothing.” he grumbled setting down his bow, his answer so obviously not being the truth.

“sit down.” jake instructed patting the spot next to him on the log.

neteyam did as he was told and sat down next to his father, “now, are you going to tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours, son?”

neteyam’s angry expression turning into one of hurt as his father repeated his question. “i-i don’t even know.” he sighed looking down at his hands, “it’s just…” he paused wondering if he should tell his dad why he was actually upset. “it’s y/n.” he confessed.

jake hummed, knowing the two had feelings did one another. “what about her.”

“she’s been mated with someone else.” it hurt neteyam to even say the words out loud, his heart feeling like it had been clenched. speaking it out loud he felt incredibly stupid, you could mate with whoever you wanted to. he always had a lingering thought in the back of his mind that you may not choose him to be your mate- he just never really considered that it may become true.

jake furrowed his eyebrows, he had not been aware of a new mated pair in the clan. and he- like everyone else- was sure that you and neteyam would become mates. his face softened for his son, feeling bad for the situation at hand. “have you spoken to her about it?”

“no, i don’t know if i can. i’ll look stupid.” he fiddled with his 4 fingers. “and what will it do if i do speak to her about it? it’s not like she’s going to stop being mates with karait.”

jake sighed putting a hand on neteyam’s back comfortly. “there are many other women in the clan to be your mate.”

he gagged internally at the thought, being mates with anyone but you?- no. neteyam ran his hands down his face frustratingly ”there is no other like her though.”

“well, maybe not. but there are many others that would be a great tsahìk and if you have them a chance maybe you could come to like them.” jake was trying to make him feel better, but was doing the opposite.

“no- you don’t get it. i don’t want any other woman in the clan- i want y/n! she’s perfect an-and everything i have ever wanted, she was suppose to be my tsahìk. i-if my mate is not her, then i do not want a one. i’m so stupid, i messed everything up! i waited too long and now she is with a stupid skxawng.” his father was taken aback by neteyam’s sudden out burst, but he got it. neteyam too was surprised by his own burst of emotion. “sorry.” before jake could say something more neteyam got up from the log, grabbing his bow. “i’m going to head back, sorry for wasting your time.”

the trip back was horrible, he was left with only himself and his thoughts- they were mostly about how stupid he was. he was passing through some trees when he heard a laugh that was all to familiar, it always made his heart flutter- it was your laugh. he followed the direct in which it had came from. you were sitting on the grass weaving something, whilst humming a beautiful tune.

neteyam started to move back quietly but stepped on a twig that made a loud snap making your ears perk up- smiling at his presence. “i know you’re there, nete.”

“hi….” he came out of the bushes, revealing himself. you expected him to sit down but he just stood there. looking at you even made his heart hurt, the fact you would never be his.

you looked up at him, “do you want to sit with me?” neteyam nodded slowly sitting down next to to, watching as your hands worked on a basket. you noticed something was off with him the second he sat down, he usually sits close to you- but currently he left a huge gap between the two of you.

a silence fell over the two of you- which you couldn’t decide if it was a comfortable or awkward silence- until neteyam chose to break it by clearly his throat. “so, karait?”

“what about him?” you asked not taking your eyes off the basket, you were curious as to why he was asking about him- you were completely unaware of all the rumours going around about the two of you.

neteyam was getting a bit angry, what did you mean- what about him? he was your mate. you couldn't even tell your best friend. "you know what i mean."

you drew your eyes from the basket to meet his own, "am i suppose to?.." karait was your friend, and if you were being honest you found him kind of annoying. he was always following you around, clinging to you.

neteyam scoffed, shaking his head. "i don't get it- why wouldn't you tell me?" you grew confused, what was he talking about- and why was he getting mad at you? he noticed your confused expression. "don't act like you don't know."

"i don't know what you're talking about, nete" you put the basket down on the ground, removing your hands from it- your full attention now on neteyam.

"what does he do?" he asked, what did karait have that he didn't. "does he treat you good?- does he pick you flowers? is he a good hunter- does he spend lots of time with you- is that it?"

"karait?" oh eywa, did neteyam hate the sound of another's on your tongue.

"yes, him!" it came out harsher then he had intended it to, "what does he have, tell me."

"uh.." you started to grow slightly uncomfortable under neteyam's harsh gaze, you had never seen neteyam raise his voice before- besides when he was shouting at lo'ak. "he's nice, i guess?"

neteyam's jaw clenched, "he's nice, you guess? that's it? he's nice?"

"he's quite good with a bow?" why was he asking so much about karait, you were so confused. "i don't know what you want me to say." you laughed.

"i just want to hear it from you, just tell me the truth. i already know." he was hurt, you were laughing. how were you so unbothered by this, he had everything karait had if not more. why did you choose him, why did you string him along all this time just to go off with another?

"nete, i-"

"what does he have that i don't?" his eyes were filled with hurt and betrayal, and they were directed right at you. "were all those things you told me lies? all the promises you made to me?"

"everything i've told you is the truth. what is going on with you neteyam?" why couldn't he just tell you what he was talking about? had you missed something?

"what's going on with me?- what's going with you?" he took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring. "were you trying to spare my feelings, is that why you didn't tell me?"

before you could answer another voice appeared. "y/n!- i knew i would find you here...." karait appeared coming from the same direct neteyam had minutes ago, trailing off as he saw neteyam sitting down with you. he looked between the two of you, he could sense the thick tension between you and neteyam. "uh- sorry, am i interrupting something?.."

"karait-" you were about to tell him to go away, he really couldn't have came at a worse time- could he? he always managed to pop up randomly- it was weird how he knew were you were everyday. before you could tell him to go away though, someone beat you to it.

neteyam's hands formed into a tight fist, jaw clenching tighter at karait's arrival. he stood up angrily, narrowing his eyes dangerously at karait. "yes, you are. you've interrupted a lot actually."

karait looked around confused at neteyam's harsh tone. neteyam looked down to what the na'vi was holding in his hand, flowers- your favourite ones. the ones he always got for you. "look man, i'll just come back later- it's fine." he began to turn around to head back.

"no you're not."

karait stopped, turning back around and met neteyam's gaze. "excuse me?"

your eyes widened, "neteyam." you whispered harshly, to tell him to stop but he ignored you.

neteyam took a step forward, standing tall trying to intimidate karait as he stood taller than him by a couple of inches. "you heard me, you're not going to come back later."

kariat chuckled, "i don't think that's really your decision." he then turned to looked at you. you were still sitting down on the grass, you looked like you were so lost- because you were. "do you want me to come back later, y/n?"

"uh-" for the third time today neteyam cut you off- which you were getting extremely annoyed at- moving to stand in front of you. blocking kariat's view of you, standing protectively. you sighed rolling your eyes- but you would be lying if you said you didn't find him being protective extremely attractive.

"don't talk to her."

kariat smirked as he suddenly realised why neteyam was being like this- he liked you, just like he did. kariat narrowed his eyes not breaking eye contact with neteyam. taking a step forward, as he stood up straight mimicking neteyam's body language. "yeah? what are you gonna do about it- she's not your mate."

neteyam hissed, baring his sharp fangs dangerously at kariat challenging him. kariat hissed back standing his ground. you thought kariat was extremely dumb, challenging turuk maktos son. you stood up quickly off the ground, putting your hand on neteyam's shoulder from behind him trying to pull him back but he didn't budge. "neteyam- what are you doing!" you thought he was just being ridiculous at this point.

"i've got this, y/n." he replied turning to look at you then turned back to kariat, speaking so he could hear him. "gonna show this skxqwng what a real man is." kariat hissed in reply.

"now is not the time to compare dick sizes, nete!" you whisper yelled over his shoulder at him gritting your teeth frustratedly, still trying to pull him back. you came into the forest to peacefully weave a basket for hunting, not to watch two na'vi fight.

"oh yeah? now is the perfect time to." you sighed frustratedly, you knew he wouldn't back down. neteyam was usually not the one to get into fights-but if it involved someone he loved, he wouldn't hesitate to knock some sense into a na'vi.

"don't try and protect him, y/n. this skxqwng is asking for it." kariat spat, you weren't trying to protect neteyam from him. he was one to the best warriors in the clan- if not the best. you were trying to protect him from neteyam, but kariat was the one asking for it now.

"i told you before, don't talk to her!" neteyam growled venom laced through his words, he turned his head slightly to you, his tone completely changing to a soft loving whisper. "go sit down y/n and finish off that beautiful basket, i don't want you getting hurt." you removed your hand hesitantly from his shoulder and slowly moved away picking up your half woven basket and went to go sit down on a log not far away from them.

neteyam watched a you sat down and turned back to kariat, "i know what this is all about, you heard everyone talking didn't you?" kariat smirked at him. "thought i would tell everyone, so i didn't have to when it actually happened."

neteyam's blood boiled, the two of you weren't even mates. he had gotten worked up over nothing and had gotten mad at you, and told everyone you were his. oh, he was gonna get it. with one final hiss neteyam charged at him, throwing a hard punch to kariat's nose making him fall back- neteyam wasn't going to hold back, he had been holding in his anger all day and kariat was going to be the one to get it all.

kariat stumbled back, regaining himself throwing a punch at neteyam, landing on his jaw. neteyam stumbled back and reached up towards his lips swiping one finger across it, looking back down to his finger seeing blood on it. he smirked as he looked back up to kariat who had a bruise forming on his nose already. all of kariats confidence washed away quickly, being replaced with fear as neteyam threw multiple punches at him- landing a hit every single time.

you winced looking at kariat's bloodied face from neteyam's hits, kariat did not look too good. neteyam kneed him in the stomach then threw kariat onto the grass harshly, they were only a few seconds into the fight and kariat already wanted to withdraw from it. neteyam bent down and got right in the na’vis face, “if you even so as go near y/n again, i’ll do worse than this. and you better go back and tell everyone that you and y/n are not mated, understand?” he didn’t responded. “i said, do you understand.”

“ye-yes.”

neteyam was about to hit him again when he felt a hand pulling him back, “okay, that’s enough neteyam. i think you’ve proved your point.” you looked down at kariat who sent you a thankful look. neteyam sighed as he got up sending one last glare at kariat- who pounced up quickly and limped away, scared that neteyam would do more. as soon as he left you turned to neteyam, “okay, now. care to explain to me what just happened?”

“oh uh..” neteyam trailed off, he didn’t really know what to say. “i didn’t like him?”

you gave him a blank look, obviously not believing him. “right.” you shook your head, rolling your eyes. “i’m leaving.” you went to turn around but by a firm grip on your hand.

“he told the whole clan that you two had mated.” your eyes widened in shock, everyone in the clan thought you and kariat were mates? oh eywa. “and- and i was mad and hurt because i…” he trailed off.

“because you?..” you asked softly wanting him to finish off his sentence.

neteyam met your eyes and gulped. “because.. i wanted you to be my mate.” your mouth fell agape, you could feel a smile starting to form on your lips. “i’m sorry for believing everyone and not asking you before and getting mad at you earlier, i should’ve never raised my voice at you. i was just really hurt and jealous that you chose someone else, i know it’s no excuse though and- you can choose whoever you want to be your mate, because you can obviously choose anyone-” he rambled on until you stopped him by crashing your lips on his, he was taken back a bit but quickly returned the kiss. his whole soul had been longing to meet your lips, to kiss every inch of you.

the two of you broke the kiss, neteyam cursed himself for needing to breath- he didn’t want to ever stop kissing you. “for being the smartest person i know you really are dumb aren’t you?” you chuckled, neteyam still speechless from the kiss. “do you really ever think i’d choose anyone over you, nete? it’s always been you.”

he grinned widely like a child who had just had his first clean kill, “can i please kiss you again?”

I cannot draw him without him looking mad as hell it's so funny

De filio delecto

or "About the beloved son"

on AO3 🖤

ꕥ — Found Someone Better / The Foundation

Artists — Tonowari x fem!avatar!reader

Genre — Chapter Three

Lyrics — For the past couple of weeks you’ve been on the island Tonowari has been your karyu, showing you the ways of the Metkayina. With each lesson there’s a growing tension between you, causing you to feel bold enough to make a move.

Music Advisory — Pre-Atwow, slight timeskip (a few weeks), teacher/student dynamic (in the beginning), mentions/implied widow!tonowari, small scene of domestic violence (flashback w/ Neytiri), crying, slight hurt w/ comfort, kissing, awkward tension, love confession, new side character;

・Some of the topics above can be considered triggering to some. If you don’t agree with any of the content above or it makes you uncomfortable please dni! You’re responsible for your own consumption!

Duration — 7.1k words

Index — Kelku - Home・Karyu - Teacher

Words From Artist — After a long wait chapter three is finally here! Thank you to everyone who has commented, liked, and reblogged chapters one and two, I appreciate all the love and support! This chapter took a long time to write because I wanted to make sure it was at its best once it was posted. This chapter is an important part of their story which is why it’s longer than my other chapters, I would highly encourage reading the entire chapter.

・Also, I’m beginning to write future chapters and special addition chapters that will take place between volume 1 and volume 2 of the series and I want to incorporate any ideas you all may want to see so if you have any ideas feel free to send them to my inbox and I’ll work them into future chapters any way I can!

・Lastly, comment below how you feel about this longer chapter. Some of my future chapters might be a little lengthy (around 6-11k) and I want to know if you guys enjoy the chapters longer or if I should keep the chapters short (around 3-5k).

I hope y’all enjoy and always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading y’all reactions!

Current Platforms — Chapter One ・Chapter Two・ Series M.list ・Series Taglist・Main M.list

“You must breathe from here,” Tonowari places one hand on his stomach, puffing out his chest as he inhales and straightens out his back, showing you where you must focus your energy. “Let your mind go clear and your heart rest.” You’ve been with Tonowari for the past few hours, learning about all the different aspects about becoming Metkayina from fishing to swimming. You were anxious in the beginning because you were worried that your fondness for Tonowari would be shown through your actions but so far it’s been going well, you’ve been able to keep your emotions under control.

You’ve been trying your best to replicate the breathing technique he’s displaying but for some reason you just can’t get it right, you keep breathing from your lungs instead of your diaphragm and it’s frustrating because you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him. When Tonowari notices your struggle he decides to help you, like any good karyu would. “From here, y/n.” His low tone vibrates through the air while pressing his large, callous hand on your abdomen, making a shiver run down your spine. You weren’t expecting him to touch your stomach and you most certainly didn’t expect his hand to be inches away from the waistband of your tewng. When you think things can’t get anymore nerve wracking, you feel his other hand make contact with your chest, mindlessly resting his hand right above your cleavage. “Your heartbeat is fast, try to focus.”

“Sorry.” You mutter out while looking down at the sand beneath you to avoid his gaze as a purple hue spreads across your cheeks from embarrassment. How can you possibly focus on breathing when you have this beautiful man hunched over your frame and looking down at you with a powerful gaze? As Tonowari instructs you to breathe in and out, inhale deeply and exhale slowly, your eyes wander his figure, watching the rise and fall of his broad chest that was partially covered with intricate tattoos. “Am I doing better now?” You ask timidly, hoping you’re doing the right thing and not making the same mistakes you were earlier.

“Much better, I think it’s time we move on to your next lesson.”

—

You and Tonowari have moved to the shallow end of the water so he can teach you how to ride the Marine Na’vi’s mode of transportation. The Olo’eyktan begins to whoop and click his tongue, drawing the attention of one of the many animals in the surrounding area. “This is an ilu, you must ride this in order to go to different places within the reef.” As Tonowari explains what to do, you mount the ilu, making sure you feel comfortable before reaching behind your back and grabbing your kuru. “Make the bond gently.” He instructs while holding the ilu’s kuru at an angle. You lean your hand forward, allowing your tendrils to connect with the ilu, causing a soft crackle sound to fill the air as tsaheylu forms. When the bond is successful the ilu begins to squirm underneath you as their pupils grow wide from your emotions intertwining with theirs.

“Feel her breath, feel her strength.” You take a deep breath while closing your eyes, allowing your mind to become one with the sea creature. “Hold here.” He places his hand on the handle of the ilu’s saddle and you copy his actions, wrapping your hand around the brown leather material. “Your posture is incorrect, it must be strong when you dive.” Tonowari was going to talk you through getting into the correct position but since his hands were free with nothing to do —and he wanted another excuse to feel your skin— he decides to put you in the correct placement.

His right hand comes across your lower back while his left hand grips your thigh before scooting you up on the seat of the saddle. “Now remember, when you dive back in, good position. Very important.” He wanted to emphasize his words because he doesn’t want you to fall off and hurt yourself. You nod your head in response, taking in his words before you command the ilu to dive into water. The feeling of riding an ilu was much different than anything you’ve experienced, feeling its body move up and down to generate momentum and propels through the water is something you’ll definitely have to get accustomed to. After riding for a few minutes you start getting the hang of it, when you feel confident in your stance you click your tongue, causing the ilu to leap out the water and dive back in.

As Tonowari watches from the shallow end, he nods happily, proud that you got the hang of it so quickly. He wasn’t expecting you to figure out how to properly ride so soon in your lesson since you weren’t used to the reef and doing these types of activities in the water but you’ve proved him wrong. After a while of riding Tonowari motions to get you to come back in since it’s almost time for your son and his children to come home from school. You come back to the shore, gently breaking the bond with your ilu and bringing your leg from over the animal’s body and walk back towards land.

Since Tonowari ends your lesson for the day, both of you spend the next hour or so walking around the village exchanging stories about each other’s clan, telling each other numerous amounts of information. The two of you were soaking up everything the other was saying, wanting to learn more about each other’s culture. You begin to enlighten him on everything you know about the Omatikaya, from the perspective of being a clan member and as a human who was also a scientist. The topic changes from the different flora and fauna to how the clan gathers together to add their unique designs to the mother loom that’s given a place of honor in the common area of Hometree.

While you’re getting consumed into your sweet memories of the forest you don’t even realize you were only a few feet away from your kelku. In your mind you see this as a perfect opportunity to show Tonowari some memorabilia of your time with the clan. You invite him into your marui and begin showing him blankets you weaved, jewelry you’ve crafted, and a few more pieces you think he would enjoy seeing. As Tonowari listens to your stories and sees the bright smile that adorns your face he begins to wonder why you left the forest. From his perspective it seems like you had a wonderful time when you lived among the Omatikaya so he’s curious as to what pushed you into fleeing. His desire to know what happened in the forest that led you here is starting to get the best of him, the question is echoing in his mind and he knows it won’t end until he properly asks.

“y/n, I must ask. If the forest was filled with such fond memories, why did you leave?” As the words are coming from the Olo’eyktan’s mouth he can feel a ping of nervousness strike his chest, having a feeling that the topic could be shaky territory by the way he watches your body grow tense at the mention of why you left. You weren’t expecting him to ask your reasoning behind your move at this moment so it caught you off guard. The forest was filled with amazing, beautiful memories you’ll forever cherish but there’s also been dark times that you wish you could forget.

“Neytiri, I feel like I’m the only adult in this house that cares for Lo’ak. You and Jake stay away from him as if he’s a disease but both of you practically smother the other kids with attention. It’s not fair to him, he deserves all his parents to show him love, not just me!” You were getting frustrated with your mates treatment toward Lo’ak, you know Jake would be a tough cookie to crack but during most situations Neytiri is the level headed one out of the pairing so you were hoping that if you expressed your concerns to her she would be able to receive what you're saying instead of ignoring it.

“My parenting is the same with all the children, I do not favor one more than the other.” You can see her tail beginning to wip behind her, her ears flattening against her skull, and her face expressions quickly changing. All of those elements put together could only mean one thing, she’s angry. You hate when she gets upset, unlike Jake she reacts before she thinks of the consequences and when she lashes out she doesn’t care if you get hurt in the process. “What are you trying to imply, y/n? That I am a bad mother, that I cannot provide motherly love for them?!” The hiss that follows her question is sharp and quick, her tone is slightly calm but you can still hear the anger that’s trembling behind it which makes you a little more worried but you have to stand your ground, she needs to know what she does affects your son.

“I’m not saying you’re a bad mother but…” You had to stop yourself for a second because you feel like you’re about to tell a lie. If she’s treating Lo’ak differently than the others than she is a bad mother no matter which way you try to spin the matter. Maybe Neytiri will finally get it if you tell her to her face and not sugarcoat things like you usually do to spare her feelings. “Actually, I take that back. If a mother plays favorites among her children that makes her a bad mother because she isn’t treating them equally so yes, you are a bad mother!”

This is what set Neytiri off, she’s so pissed that she couldn’t even control her body and what she did in response to your remark. The Na’vi woman opens her palm and sends a harsh slap across your face, it was so quick that you didn’t see it coming but once it makes contact the impact is so strong it forcibly makes you turn your head in the direction of the hit, bringing ample amounts of pain to your cheek, causing a tint of purple to rise to the surface. You stand there in a state of shock, tears clouding your vision as you look at Neytiri’s who’s yelling at the top of her lungs. “How dare you say that to me?! I am a good mother!”

“You’re not Neytiri, stop lying to yourself and to me! When you’re out with Neteyam, Kiri, and Tuk, taking them for little adventures around the forest, you purposefully leave him home with Jake! What type of good mother does that?! And you only have the balls to do it when I’m not home because you know I wouldn’t let that slide!” You shout at her before moving your hand over your cheek, feeling some pain from the aftermath of the slap. “And you want to know something else?” You move closer to her, closing the gap between both of you. “A good mother would never hit the mother of their child and a good mate would never lay a hand on their wife!” The more you yell at Neytiri with a tone laced with anger, the more you comprehend that she hit you, your wife, the woman who’s supposed to love and keep you safe decides to inflict pain on you. “How could you hit me, Neytiri?! I’m your wife, you’re supposed to protect me not harm me!”

You haven’t thought about that day in a long time. You pushed it deep down in your memory bank, trying to forget the first time your ex-wife put her hands on you but when Tonowari asked you about your reason behind leaving the forest it brought the argument to the front of your mind. That memory along with others are painful, they cause you so much heartache that you wish they could be erased so your brain doesn’t have the chance to remember the hurt you felt during those moments. As you begin to come back to reality you feel something drip onto your arm, making you realize that your eyes have produced tears and they’ve been streaming down your face this whole time.

Tonowari can see the loss of light in your eyes, the tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and the way your body shivers at the mention of your past life in the forest. He didn’t mean to bring up any bad feelings or memories, he didn’t mean to make tears escape your pretty golden eyes, he was only curious about what took place that made you come to the reefs and now it’s clear to him that it wasn’t something pleasant. “I apologize for bringing up the topic, I didn't mean to make you upset or—”

“It’s okay, Tonowari. I know that you didn’t mean any harm.” You cut him off from his apology, not needing to hear anymore. You know that he’s curious and wants answers, you feel as if you owe him that because he accepted you and your little ‘itan with open arms but you're just not ready to reveal that part of your life story.

“You can tell me whenever you feel comfortable, no rush.” Tonowari places his hand on your bicep, squeezing it gently as a form of reassurance and to let you know that he’s here for you. He can see that you have a story to tell and he’ll be ready to listen whenever you’re ready to share.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” You give him a small smile, allowing him to see a little peek of your canines before you place your hand over his. As you look the Metkayina man in the eyes your heart rate starts to rise at a fast pace and you can feel your stomach tying in knots. In this moment you feel like a teenager again, all the emotions that come with liking someone hitting you all at once. Tonowari’s a sweet man, he’s slowly seeping his way into your heart and honestly you're not opposed to it.

You’ve known him for weeks now and you love everything about him, how great he is with his children, his kind and gentle nature, how he’s an authority figure within the clan but doesn’t let the power get to his head, you’re not only physically attracted to him but also to his personality. With both of your hands touching, feeling the warmth radiating from the other's skin, it's like sparks of electricity are burning through your skin. His touch makes you want to melt and you haven’t felt this way in years, that jittery feeling that sits and stirs in the pit of your stomach when looking at someone almost feels foreign to you but it’s nice, you’re glad that you can still feel all these emotions about someone after Jake and Neytiri, maybe it’s possible that you have another shot at being in love.

Seeing that your tears are still dampening your cheeks makes Tonowari's heart clench with pain knowing that he can’t do anything to dissolve the sadness that’s overshadowing you, especially since he’s the one who caused said tears by questioning your past. He doesn’t like seeing your beautiful face stained with tears so he resolves the issue by using his unoccupied hand to wipe them away. It comes as a surprise to you, before you can process what’s coming you feel his hand caress your face, his thumb gently gliding against your cheek and underneath your eye, wiping away the tears on one side of your face before moving on to the next.

His soft touch sends a shiver throughout your body, his callous hand feels so warm against your face and his eyes glisten with a sense of care and kindness. Your body is feeling things that your brain is barely able to comprehend, it’s wanting to act on emotions regardless of what your mind is telling you. Your eyes flicker between his eyes and lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone else’s lips against yours, it would be nice to feel some sparks again, to get that electrified feeling in your veins when you kiss someone. ‘Do it. Kiss him.’ The thought echoes through your mind while trying to decipher if it’s a good idea. Before you psych yourself out and say no you just mumble “screw it.”, place one of your hands on one side of his face, and kiss him.

His lips feel so good against yours, that spark you were hoping to feel is there, you can feel it surging through your veins and causing your heart to thump against your ribcage. The kiss creates a warmth spread through your body, it makes you feel good about making the split decision to kiss Tonowari until you begin to have second thoughts about it. You start to realize that you don’t feel Tonowari’s hand touching you in a loving manner, his body seems slightly tense, and his lips aren’t making an effort to reciprocate the kiss as you would like. In your mind all those things put together must mean that he doesn’t want to kiss you and that he definitely doesn’t see you in a romantic way like you hoped he did, causing all the tingling emotions you felt earlier to quickly seize and your body to run cold with embarrassment.

You quickly pull from Tonowari and start spewing out an apology, hoping it’ll make the moment less awkward even though you doubt that’ll happen. “Tonowari I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m such an idiot-” You spring to your feet and nervously run your hands through your braids, something you tend to do when you're in uncomfortable situations.

“It’s alright, y/n-”

“No, Tonowari it’s not. It was stupid of me to-”

“Mama!” Lo’ak runs inside the marui with speed and bursting to the seams with energy, wanting to ask you something. When you hear his little voice you mentally thank Ewya for the intervention so you don’t have to deal with the discomfort between you and Tonowari right now.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” You reply to his call while turning to face the entryway of the room you're in and giving your son your undivided attention.

“Can I go play with Rotxo for a little while?” Since being here Lo’ak has made a few friends, including Rotxo who was nice to him when he first started attending school. The two boys usually always play together while at school but today they went to play by the beach and roam the island a little and they know they need parental supervision for that which is why he’s asking you for permission.

With Lo’ak wanting to hang out with his friend this gives you the perfect opportunity to get out of this embarrassing situation with Tonowari and will allow you to clear your head a little and figure out what to do going forward. “Yeah, you can play with him. I’ll change into something different and then we can leave. Okay?” Lo’ak nods his head and goes to another area of the marui and starts gathering a few of his favorite toys and places them in a woven bag so he can show Rotxo later.

With Lo’ak now gone it just leaves you and Tonowari again and before he has the chance to rehash the previous conversation you decide to speak up. “It would be best if you leave now.” Your eyes avoid meeting his gaze and you can barely get out the words before feeling a wave of nausea thinking about how you physically expressed your feelings for a man that doesn’t feel the same way.

Tonowari doesn’t show any resistance and respects your wishes, not wanting to make you feel worse at this current moment and decides to speak with you later when you both can talk in private. He gives you a slight nod, acknowledging your words and showing that he hears you before leaving like you asked. When you watch the entryway flap close behind him as he walks outside you let out a frustrated sigh and run your hand down your face, wondering how you could possibly be able to see and talk to Tonowari again since now he clearly knows you have romantic feelings for him.

You want to figure this out as soon as possible so you can calm your nerves but right now you have to put that on pause and go into mother mode for Lo’ak and meet his new friend and his mother. You take a deep breath and rest your mind, shifting your attention to getting ready to go into the village and mingle with your new clan members. Once you change into a new matching set and drink a few sips of water you're ready to take Lo’ak to his playdate and try to forget about your crash and burn moment with the Olo’eyktan.

—

It’s sunny around this time of day, the ocean water is slightly warm and the aquatic life is very active, fish swimming calmly in the water, energetic Ilu leaping out the water every so often, and sea otters sunbathing and basking in the sun's light. When you and Lo’ak make it to the heart of the village you can see Rotxo who’s standing next to an older woman who you assume to be his mom and when him and Lo’ak make eye contact they immediately run to each other before dashing off to play, making you chuckle at their eagerness. “Lo’ak, stay where I can see you!” You shout to him because you know if you don’t he’ll start roaming all over the island and you won’t know where he is.

“Padma, it’s nice to meet you.” The woman says as she walks over to you, starting up a conversation. You’ve seen her around the village a handful of times since you arrived but you both never crossed paths before so this is the first time you’ve talked with her.

She extends her hand out for you to shake and you comply, wrapping your hand around hers in a firm shake before introducing yourself and telling her your name. “It’s nice to meet you as well, it seems like our boys are getting along nicely.”

“Yes they are. I’m glad they found each other.” She says with a soft smile before she turns and picks up the woven basket next to her that is filled with multiple different fruits and places it on her hip so she can take it home with her. “Would you like to come to my mauri and help me prepare a snack for the boys?” Padma assumes that after all the playing the boys will be doing they’ll be hungry and want a little treat.

Padma watches how your facial expression changes and notices the look of concern that comes across your face when you focus your attention over to Lo’ak showing Rotxo his wooden ikran toys, knowing that you want to keep an eye on him at all times. “Don’t worry, my mauri faces where they are playing so you’ll be able to watch him and make sure he’s safe.” When you hear that it makes you feel better, which means you agree to going with Padma to her home.

It only takes a few minutes to make it to her mauri and when you walk inside Padma invites you to come sit down next to her in the common area and places the basket of fruit between the both of you. She takes her knife out of its sheath and begins to cut away the skin of fruit while you start cutting another fruit into cubes. “So, y/n, how are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s taken me a while to learn and adjust to all the new lifestyle aspects but other than that I’ve been enjoying my time here so far.” Being among the Metkayina has been different but it’s been fun, being here makes you feel more free to be yourself and you don’t feel the need to have your guard up or always have to be fearful about going home at the end of the day. Going home to a relaxed environment is something you’ve always wished for since your past relationship started to derail so to have that now makes your spirit feel at peace.

“That’s good to hear, have you made any friends yet?”

“No, I don’t think the women in the clan are too fond of me yet.” Most of the Matkayina women haven’t been very receptive to your presence amongst the clan yet. Whenever you're walking around the village, trying to complete your daily tasks until you find a permanent role in the clan, some of them will stare at you while others will exchange hushed words while you walk by. You know the reason they aren’t receptive to you is because you’re a dreamwalker and your DNA contains human genes and honestly you don’t feel any sort of way about it because you dealt with the same thing when you first joined the Omatikaya. It took a while for them to warm up to you and start befriending you so you know it’ll be the same here. The only difference is that at least with the Omatikaya you still had your scientist friends in the lab so you weren’t completely alone but here you don’t really have any form of friendships except for Tonowari which you’re grateful for, regardless of your current situation with him but you would like you to find some women to hangout with.

“Well, consider me your first friend here.” Padma says with a smile, wanting you to feel welcome and that you have someone in your corner and like you have a sense of community here so you don’t have to be alone. Hearing that makes a small smile curl onto your lips and you begin to feel like you’re officially starting to build a new life here.

For the next hour or so you and Padma talk about multiple topics, asking questions and sparking up conversations to help the both of you bond and get to know each other better. While you're listening to Padma talk about how she met her mate and their love story, you begin to think about what happened between you and Tonowari earlier. You know that you can’t ignore him and that you have to talk to him about it but you have no idea what you’re going to say the next time you see him. While Padma is talking she notices how your mind is elsewhere and that you've zoned out of the conversation. She can see that something is on your mind and she feels like it would be rude of her not to ask and see if there was any way she could help. “y/n, is everything okay? I can tell your mind somewhere else.”

Before answering her question you wonder if you should tell Padma what’s troubling you, that you're having trouble in the love department which is kind of surprising to you since you’ve only been living among the Metkayina for a few weeks. On one hand you don’t really want to say anything because you aren’t a fan of telling your business but on the other hand you don’t know what to do about Tonowari and it would be good to get some advice. “There is something bothering me.” A small sigh escapes your lips before placing your knife down and putting the fruit you’ve prepared in a wooden bowl. “I have feelings for someone here, me and him are getting along well but I think I messed things up with him.” You decided talking to her about what’s going on would be best but to protect your privacy and Tonowari’s, especially with him being Olo’eyktan, you decided to keep his name out of the conversation.

Padma wasn’t expecting you to need advice relationship wise, not because she didn’t see you finding love with someone on the island but because you haven’t been here long but nonetheless she’s willing to help you in whatever way she can. “What do you mean ‘you messed things up’? What happened? If you’re willing to share of course.” You begin to tell her what happened with Tonowari, specifically the part where sparks flickered between you two and that you kissed him out of the blue, not wanting to give away too many details but give the important parts that’ll help Padma understand what’s going on between you and Tonowari.

As you talk and explain Padma listens carefully, wanting to make sure she hears everything before giving her opinion on the matter. Once you finish talking she gathers her thoughts and starts giving her advice. “I think that you just need to talk it out with him, it could’ve been a reason why he didn’t kiss back. When you kissed him he could’ve just been taken by surprise because he didn’t expect it.”

“You’re right, that could be it. I’ll talk to him and hopefully it goes the way I want it to. Thank you Padma.”

“Of course, I hope your mind is at ease now.”

“It is, and I’m hoping that this conversation stays between us.” You imply that you want the conversation that just took place to go no further than these four walls and Padma respects your wishes and promises not to speak of it with anyone. While the conversation shifts to another topic you can hear little voices and footsteps approaching and within the next few seconds Lo’ak and Rotxo come running inside asking for a snack, good thing you and Padma were already ten steps ahead and have something prepared for their rumbling stomachs.

—

The sun has started to slowly fall behind the horizon, causing the clear blue sky’s to fade and turn into a beautiful mixture of red and orange. With all the playing, swimming, and even a little roughhousing the boys have officially tired themselves out. Both Lo’ak and Rotxo's eyes are starting to grow heavy, meaning it’s time for them to take a nap. While Lo’ak and Rotxo are saying their goodbyes, you and Padma make plans to hang out later in the week, she tells you that she knows a great place on the island to have a picnic and you definitely can’t wait to go since you haven’t fully explored the island yet.

Once you and Padma wrap up your conversation, you grab Lo’ak by the hand and start walking along the spongy pathways around the village and make your way to your mauri. “Lo’ak, how was your time with Rotxo? Did you have fun?”

“I had so much fun, Rotxo is the coolest! He showed me how to do all these tricks on his Ilu and while we were in the water he caught a fish with his bare hands!” Lo’ak tells you about everything he and Rotxo did his voice is laced with excitement while he tells you each and every detail, making you smile at the fact he enjoyed his time with his friend and that he’s adjusting well to living with the Metkayina, especially socially. “I’m glad you had fun, yawntutsyìp.”

You and Lo’ak continue talking as you walk home which makes the walk seem shorter than it usually is. Since Lo’ak has a newfound burst of energy he believes he doesn’t need a nap but you tell him otherwise. “Lo’ak, if you don’t take a nap you’ll be tired later at dinner and-” When you turn the corner and are a few steps away from the entryway of your home you can see Tonowari standing in front of your mauri, causing your words to become lodged in your throat at the sight of him.

You were planning on talking to him, at the earliest tomorrow so you could have a night to figure out what to say and gather your thoughts but since he showed up without you having any prior knowledge you have no idea what you’re gonna say to him so now you have to rack your brain on what to say. Lo’ak is still standing beside you and the conversation you need to have with Tonowari definitely isn’t for children’s ears so you send him inside. “Lo, go inside and clean up so you can take your nap.”

“But Mama, I don’t wanna take a-”

“Now, Lo’ak.” When your son hears the sternness in your voice and the seriousness written on your face he makes a beeline for the mauri and does as you told him to. Once he makes it inside and you see the flap close behind him, you turn your attention to Tonowari and try to mentally prepare for the pending conversation. The Olo’eyktan walks closer to you before you can do it yourself, making your words begin to scramble in your brain and your mouth to start moving at a mile a minute before you can stop yourself. “Again, I just want to say I’m so sorry for kissing you out of the blue like I did. I shouldn’t have just assumed you have feelings for me, it was impulsive and-”

Before you can finish your rant, telling him how sorry you are for making things awkward between you both, Tonowari closes the gap between the two of you while his eyes lock intensively with yours, making your heart race. Suddenly, he leans in and presses his lips firmly against yours, causing your eyes to slightly widen in shock and your body to freeze while your mind is racing as you attempt to process what’s happening. The warmth that’s radiating from him overwhelms your senses, making you feel like you're on a sugar high. After a few seconds the initial shock fades you begin to relax and kiss him back, allowing your feelings to take over.

You lean into Tonowari, feeling his strength as he pulls you closer to him, one hand cradling your cheek while the other finds its way wrapped around your waist, anchoring you in place. His large hands on different parts of your body makes you want to melt in this moment. His lips are soft and insistent, moving so tenderly across yours that it takes your breath away. As the kiss deepens you can almost taste the sea salt on his lips, it’s intoxicating yet captivating, making the world feel like it’s fading and turning into a blur.

After what feels like hours but in reality is minutes, Tonowari pulls back and both of you are left breathless, making a smile appear on both of your lips, his because he feels a wave of joy and yours because you're still a little surprised that he kissed you and how amazing a kiss it was. It’s been many years since you’ve had an intimate kiss like this before, feeling another warm body against yours was a feeling you definitely missed and are so glad to have that again with someone you genuinely like.

“y/n,” The Metkayina begins, his voice low and filled with sincerity, still lingering in the warmth of the moment you both shared, hoping he can gather the right words. “You don’t need to apologize, earlier I wanted to kiss you but I was taken aback, at that moment I didn't know what to do.” When you kissed Tonowari earlier he was in shock, he didn’t know how to react so he just froze up. Since Ronal died he hasn’t had feelings for anyone so when he met you everything felt so new and different to him, he didn’t expect to feel a connection with anyone again, especially with someone so different from him but he loved the way you made him feel.

“I didn’t mean to catch you off guard, I was just caught up in the moment.” You reply softly, beginning to feel a hint of shyness creep into your voice due to the way Tonowari’s eyes feel like they are peering directly into your soul.

“I’m glad you did, if you hadn’t I wouldn’t have known you felt the way I feel for you and we wouldn’t be here now.” He reassures you that everything that has happened was meant to be, the two of you were meant to share your first real kiss a few feet away from the ocean waves that are crashing against the sand, it was already written in the stars that the two of you would share such a special moment on the part of the island that’s secluded, meaning you don’t have to worry about prying eyes of the village, it would just be you and him, exploring your connection without fear.

“So, what does this mean for us?” With Eywa giving you a second chance at finding love you don’t want to beat around the bush or once he goes home begin thinking about what the next step is so you decide to be blunt and ask him upfront so you can have a clear understanding. “Where do we go from here?”

“I want to explore what we have and where this connection can lead but I want to take things slow. It’s been years since I was in a relationship and I don’t want to rush into anything, I want everything to happen the way Eywa intends.” For years Tonowari was hesitant on opening his heart again, afraid that he would grow to love a person just to lose someone else he’s grown to care for. Now that you’ve broken the walls he set around his heart he’s ready to find that special connection with someone and he’s willing to take the risk of being hurt because to him you’re worth it.

“I understand how you feel completely, I think it would be best to take our time and just further build our connection.” You’re glad you and Tonowari are on the same page with how you should go about your relationship because you want to take things slow with him, wanting to make sure you can fully trust him before letting him into your life completely.

“I like the sound of that.” Tonowari replies with a soft smile before he reaches for your hand and intertwines your hand with his. The warmth of his grip sends a comforting shiver through your body, grounding you in the moment. The gentle pressure of his hand against yours feels like an unspoken promise, a commitment to explore the connection blossoming between you.

Since Tonowari has a little free time and Lo’ak was inside sleeping you decide to take him down by the shore with you. With your hands already connected it’s easy to guide Tonowari a few feet away from your home and closer to the water before you find the perfect place to settle. Both of you sit down in the warm sand and you lean against Tonowari, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him, making you relax under his touch.

It feels nice to have a man by your side, a true man, not someone who disrespects and treats you like a burden. When you left the forest you didn’t know if you would find love again, you didn’t even know if you wanted to try and find someone again after what you endured but it seems like Eywa had her own plans in motion, allowing you and Tonowari to meet was definitely her way of telling you that it’s okay to open your heart again.

As you sit nestled against him, you realize how different this feels. Tonowari’s presence is calming and genuine, a total contrast to the chaos of your past. He listens intently when you speak, his gaze always filled with warmth and understanding. The way he holds you makes you feel valued, cherished even, which is a new feeling for you, but one that you love.

You take a moment to appreciate the beauty around you—the colors of the sunset painting the sky, the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the feel of sand beneath you. In this peaceful setting, you begin to let go of your reservations. The fear that once held you captive starts to dissolve and replaces itself with hope that maybe you can build something real with him. With every soft touch and shared glance, you sense the possibility of a future where love isn’t synonymous with pain.

As the minutes pass, the conversation flows effortlessly between you, filled with laughter and shared stories. Tonowari speaks of his childhood, his eyes lighting up as he recalls the joyous moments which allow you to see a different side of him while you share stories from your life in the forest, a few that are a little more personal to you than the ones you told him earlier today and will help him get to know you better than he did before. Each story that’s told deepens your bond, revealing layers of who you both are and allowing you to grow closer. Occasionally, Tonowari leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead or cheek, gestures that send shivers through your entire being. You can’t help but smile, feeling a sense of safety and belonging you thought you’d lost forever. The world around you fades, leaving just the two of you, wrapped in your own cloud of shared comfort and emerging trust.

As the last rays of sunlight dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow around you, you lean closer into Tonowari’s embrace, feeling a sense of peace settle in your heart. In this moment, surrounded by nature’s beauty and the man who makes your heart flutter, you realize that the walls you once built to protect yourself are beginning to crumble. With Tonowari, you sense a future filled with possibility—a future where love is not only attainable but also vibrant and real. With laughter still echoing between you and the gentle waves serenading your moment, you realize that you didn't just find a refuge from your past, but the promise of a beautiful journey ahead—one that you are eager to explore together.

Previous — Chapter Two・Next — Chapter Four

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“They live Jake. Within Eywa”

Nawmun (Spider)

"it is what demon's blood does" on ao3

🐋Lo'ak choker🐋

Available again in my Etsy shop. It took me two days of work but I am always glad when I see the final result. Handmade with wax cord, beads and animal teeth.

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Alma Cortez: the epitome of colonization and assimilation culture

Alma was never a misled teacher. She wasn’t manipulated by Mercer, she wasn’t his victim, she did not have good intentions. She was the CO-FOUNDER of TAP. Including TAP-Con1.

This is a deep dive I’ve been wanting to do for a while, and I’ve finally been able to gather all my ideas and put them together. I know I’m late to the party, but I have a lot to say, especially because of the tendency of this fandom to judge Alma in a very biased way and to ignore important traits of her character just because they’re “uncomfortable”. Even among other people who dislike Alma, I have never seen some topics discussed and I want to change that, because I feel they are fundamental in understanding both her character and the role she plays in the story. Now, that isn’t to say I think people shouldn’t find Alma’s character interesting or entertaining; if you defend her and genuinely sympathize with her, however… this is not the place for you. I am the biggest and proudest Alma hater, so do with that what you will. I’ve seen too many people defend her actions, or try to tone down/change objective things in the game that are even explicitly spelled out for the audience. So, here I am.

Alma always knew exactly what she was doing. She knew what she wanted and what she was willing to do to achieve it. She wanted her school, no matter the cost (as she says quite literally in the game). It's true, she didn't know that Mercer was going to massacre the Sarentu. But she was still willing to take students for her school without theirs or their parents' consent. Let me elaborate.

In the flashback while she's going to the Sarentu moot with Mercer, this is how the conversation goes:

Alma: We're just talking to them, do we need this many soldiers?

Mercer: This is our last chance.* They're too primitive to understand what we can do for their children.

Alma: It's for the children.

Mercer: Exactly. Just think what we can achieve. Finally.

Alma (nodding): We're helping them. They'll see it... in time.

And THIS exactly is what sums up the person that she is. She may not have predicted Mercer’s massacre, but she still went to the moot with the purpose of taking those children no matter what. Because the core of what she believes is this: humans are superior and therefore need to impose their better ways of life on the lesser and uncivilized Na'vi; these people are too stupid to understand anyway, so it’s acceptable for humans to steal their children and forcefully assimilate them in the culture of their oppressors because they’re superior anyway. One day, years after they kidnapped their kids, the Na'vi’s primitive minds will come to understand that and recognize humans as superior, and thanks to their now successfully-brainwashed children, they will get to subjugate them as well.

A project like TAP isn’t the basis for cultural exchange, it’s the basis for cultural erasure and the assimilation of Indigenous children. TAP was LITERALLY a residential school. If you think there could ever be a “good intention” behind this, then you are a despicable human being. Alma knows this. She simply hides it behind a self-righteous facade of generosity and allyship. I don’t care that she genuinely believes that this is a way to help the Na'vi: it doesn’t change the “human-superiority” complex of her beliefs, it doesn’t change the fact that she literally made a fucking residential school. It is literally called “residential” in-game, and it can’t be interpreted differently. This is what “residential school” means. Alma was raised on Earth, where Indigenous people still exist, where residential schools literally already existed. Where do you think they got their inspiration from? It was always intentional. Remember that Mercer and Alma started working together for a reason. They shared a dream, and that dream was always going to be built on the blood and the stolen freedom of Indigenous Na'vi and their children. There was never a single half good intention about this project. This is literally a story about childen surviving residential school and reclaiming their Indigenous culture. The game doesn’t want you to sympathize with the colonizers who did this. The point of the story is for you to empathize with the Indigenous survivors of genocide and colonization.

Believing that you are doing something good — when you are actually doing tremendous harm — only because of your self-righteous superiority complex and actually doing something good are not the same thing. And the fact that Alma believes that by doing this she is actually helping the Na'vi makes her a even worse person. Can’t you see the danger of such mindset, the arrogance, the superiority? It is even more disgusting to me. At least a person like Mercer is honest: he’s horrible, hates the Na'vi and he’s proud of it. Alma, however, tries to hide it in a pathetic and disgusting attempt at feeling morally superior to people like him, tricking herself and the others around her into believing she’s actually a decent person, while her only goal is to achieve the recognition she thinks rightfully belongs to her and simultaneously erase her so-called “guilt”.

If she actually cared about the Sarentu children like people claim she did, she would have not left them in cryo for 16 years. She could have gone back to check if they were alive at any point during that time. She chose not to. She robbed them of their entire lives for the sole reason that she was too hypocritical to face her actions and failure, because that’s what this really is about. She never actually believed she did something wrong, her only shame came from the fact that she didn’t get the recognition she always strived for.

And even once she was forced to go rescue them, she still continued to lie to them and made them believe they had been abandoned by their clan. She kept the lie up when she could at least have told them that the Sarentu were dead. When they relocated to the Clouded Forest, she made them believe the Kame'tire were untrustworthy. She could have just said nothing, but no, she had to reinforce the lies to make herself look better, to pose as the Sarentu’s sole guide once again.

That woman had absolutely no shame for what she did and only admitted the truth once she was forced to do so. Even when she goes back to wake up the Sarentu, we can find out in a note that her priority is still TAP. “TAP is just a tomb for our dead dreams. Or maybe not. Just maybe.” Still, after almost two decades in which she could have, you know, self-analyzed a bit? she says loud and clear that she dgaf about the kids (she never even mentions them), like she’s proved over and over again, but only about her little colonialist assimilation project.

Later, if it wasn't for Anufi recognizing her, she never would have told the truth. Again, the only thing she ever does for the Sarentu — that is, simply informing them of the truth they were owed — she does because she is forced to do so by external forces. Even the only actual good thing she does in general, creating the Resistance, she does after TAP is gone, not because she realizes she’s done something bad, that she’s part of something evil and wants to separate herself from it, but because, again, she is forced to. If it wasn’t for the Omatikaya and the other clans rebelling, if it wasn’t that humans lost Pandora, she would have never left TAP. Not much of a resistance on her side then, right? She may have founded it — again, after she was forced by the circumstances, not because she was moved by authentic and sincere motives, and she’s able to do so only by lying about her project and actions — but it was the other members that made it a Resistance, not her.

* also notice Mercer saying “this is our last chance”. Interesting, right? I wonder why they were unable to find willing students. In Alma’s videolog we find at TAP-Con1 she says: “We’ve gone as far as we can with the Kame'tire. […] We just have to make them see what benefits it could bring to the Na'vi, to share cultures and outlooks. We have so much to teach each other. So much to give to the Na'vi. […] (about the Sarentu) I’m so excited to meet them and welcome the children to our school.”

We just have to make them see what benefits it could bring to the Na'vi. We have so much to teach each other. So much to give to the Na'vi. And here it goes again, the reason why she was never a good person. At first she tries to make it look like their intent is actually exchanging cultures between equals, but then immediately states her true ideology: it’s the humans who can help the primitive Na'vi, not the other way around. This idea that superior sophisticated societies need to share their “wonders” and teach their ways to the lesser, primitive uncivilized (Indigenous) people is beyond disgusting. Again, this is NOT cultural exchange. Because beyond that, I guarantee you there is absolutely NOTHING the Na'vi would have gained from interacting with their colonizers like that. Like Aha'ri said, “why would the Na'vi want to have alliances with you?”. We just have to make them, Alma also says. The Na'vi are never taken into consideration as actual intelligent people with their own will, they are never meant to be part of the conversation: they are too stupid, so we just have to force our culture onto them. But it’s okay!! We’re the superior and civilized ones so we’re actually doing them a favor.

I’m so excited to meet them and welcome the children to our school. Once again, the Na'vi’s will doesn’t matter. She doesn’t say nor imply anything about actually having a discussion with them. The Kame'tire said no, but they just HAVE to have their school, so they’re gonna “welcome the children” one way or another. From the note I mentioned earlier: We all had to make sacrifices. Some... they made the ultimate sacrifice. But the science, the progress. Yeah, we did what we thought was right to make TAP a reality. She admits very clearly (and very casually) that she doesn’t give a flying fuck about the lives she and Mercer purposefully destroyed. It was a sacrifice she (and Mercer) decided had the authority to make for “the science and the progress”. Even decades after the massacre, this is what the lives of the Sarentu still are in her eyes: a necessary and justifiable sacrifice. Alma always knew this. Not in the back of her mind, not subconsciously. Stealing the children was something she was always willing to do, because in her mind it’s a good thing, in her mind they have the right to do it. And that makes her abhorrent.

On TAP-Con1

As I said at the beginning of this post, Alma was never a misled victim, she was TAP’s co-founder, and that obviously includes TAP-Con1. That means that she not only was aware of everything that was going on in that place, but that she was behind it. She was behind the children being kept in cages, washed with disinfectant, being left to sleep and live like prisoners. They were little children, the oldest being SIX, forced to be analyzed in laboratory (and gods know what else they did to them).

From an interaction at the lab of TAP-Con1, our Sarentu says: “Blood samples. Some of us cried everytime.” And Alma was behind it. And even if she wasn’t, she still allowed it. If you seriously think that she, the fucking co-founder, did not have any executive power over the project she literally made and she was just subjugated to Mercer’s will, you are fooling yourself. This is true for both TAP-Con1 and TAP.

“You didn’t do a thing to stop Mercer. The wounds he gave us, you gave as well.”

Nor explained the point so perfectly. She was behind the fear, the abuse, the torture just as much as Mercer and Harding were. Again, she was never just a teacher and the game spells it out for you very clearly. If you ignore this, it’s your choice or your willing lack of understanding.

Completely irredeemable

What I find even worse is that she never even tried to repent or earn the Sarentu’s forgiveness. She did absolutely NOTHING to earn back her place into their lives or into the Resistance. Not because there is something she could actually do to redeem herself. No, what I find irritating is the fact that she just assumed she was given a free pass for everything. At the end of the main game, she even has the audacity to think that she and the Sarentu can move forward together and “be a family again”. Except they never were one, they were never on the same side. It’s frustrating how she still refuses to see that. Another proof that she doesn’t hold herself accountable like she claims she does, she still does not see the damage she has done, she still does not see how wicked her actions and intentions always were. She still sees herself as a victim. But this is no excuse for the audience to consider her as such.

After her Avatar dies and she is forced to admit the truth about the Sarentu massacre, there is a side quest called “Penance” in which Alma, Ri'nela and the MC gather to bury it. You may think after her confession — which she made seem spontaneous but was actually forced by Anufi and Nor — Alma actually feels remorse like she claims she does; you may think she finally understands now the gravity of what she did to the Sarentu, that finally she will act honestly and be ready to face the consequences to her actions.

But no. Once again, her only focus is herself. Instead of humbly coming to the Sarentu, she whines about how she doesn’t feel comfortable in her own body (because she chose for years to deceive herself and most importantly the Sarentu with a fake mask of allyship). When the MC points out that the Avatar was never the real Alma, she still speaks as that mask was her true self, she still believes that she was actually one of them, one of the people she personally oppressed and colonized.

And Ri'nela is having none of it. “Did it make your sins easier to bear? Playing make believe?” This is exactly it. Alma posed as one of the Sarentu, actually tricking herself into believing she was one of them, because this way she didn’t have to face the person she really was all along. This way it was easier to pretend she was in the right, that she was manipulated by Mercer. But as I explained earlier, this doesn’t make her misled, this doesn’t make her a person with good intentions; it just makes her a hypocritical heinous human being.

This is why Alma is irredeemable. Not only because there’s no action good enough to repair the atrocities she was responsible for, but because she would actually had to feel genuine remorse to start a redemption arc. As she made abundantly clear through her words and actions, this is not the case. And I’ll even say this: a person like Alma is utterly incapable of feeling true remorse. There will always be a part of her that believes herself to be partly a victim, a person who just wanted the best but was ultimately misled. This is what I consider the worst, most loathsome and dangerous trait of her character.

On the Sky Breaker

This is why the Sky Breaker dlc left a sour aftertaste in my mouth. Spoilers if you haven’t played it yet.

After the valkyrie attack, when everyone is gathered to discuss what happened, Mokasa (why was he allowed to be there in the first place is a mystery) is bitching about the humans, and Sa'ney rightfully calls him out on his hypocrisy. At this point, Alma (again, why the fuck is she here?) intervenes and says:

“Does he not deserve the same as me? I share the same blame. But… I’ve been allowed to move forward.”

Does he not deserve the same as me? Yes, yes he does. That’s the point. I share the same blame. Do you, Alma? Do you really? Don’t get me wrong, I HATE Mokasa. Leading the RDA to the Sarentu, blaming Anufi, lying to his own clan for decades… I don’t think I need to explain. But it always got me thinking how people point the finger on Mokasa so naturally but don’t give Alma the same treatment. Let’s examine them a bit.

Again, there’s no need for me to explain why everything Mokasa did was horrible and unjustifiable. But let’s take a look at why he did it. He says it in the main game: “it was their children or ours”. As cruel and horrible that sounds (because it is), it’s also true. It’s clear Mokasa was aware of the humans’ intentions from the beginning: he knew they were gonna steal Na'vi children regardless and he ensured those children wouldn’t be Kame'tire. Was he right? Of course not!! There is NO excuse for what he did. He should have warned Anufi and the Sarentu, he should have not torn apart his clan to hide his secret… but it’s still a completely different motive. Alma is a human and an oppressor who wanted to steal children for her own personal ambition; Mokasa, an Indigenous man part of the oppressed category, did evil and inexcusable things because he thought that was the only way to protect his clan and their children from their colonizers. The outcome, the goal even, is the same: the sacrifice of the Sarentu and their children. Yet what drives Mokasa and Alma to commit this atrocity cannot be judged equally. Not really the same, is it?

But I’ve been allowed to move forward. Have you, Alma? HAVE YOU? Who exactly has allowed you to move forward? The Resistance? But why should they ever have a say in this? Yes, they felt betrayed too in a way, obviously. But they’re not the ones whose lives were ruined at her hands. The only ones who get to have a say in this are the Sarentu. Didn’t seem to me that they forgave her; they only made clear they wanted and needed to go their own way. They very clearly separated themselves from her. So, it looks like to me that Alma simply assumed she was given a free pass for everything even though she didn’t do a single thing to repent for her actions.

I have conflicted feelings about Mokasa’s so-called redemption, and I’m not sure what were the game’s intentions regarding him as opposed to Alma. But what is certain is that Alma deserved to pay the consequences for her actions. Mokasa was rightfully banished from the clan. I know the same can’t be done for Alma, but ignoring her is not enough. She deserves to be punished for what she did. I don’t how, honestly (not implying physical torture or anything here guys, dw). Yes, Nor killed her Avatar and I think that was absolutely necessary. But what Nor did (and he 100% had every right) was revealing the real Alma, it was stripping her from the possibility to keep deceiving everyone, especially the Sarentu; it was not, however, the consequence she needs to face. I really hope they will somehow deal with this in the future.

This is what I think of her. I may never hated a character more and I wish she died in the neurosect. There is absolutely no excuse for this woman. There’s no sympathizing with her. I did not villanize her, I did not exaggerate her actions or make her look worse than what she actually is. If people still refuse to see it, I think that says a lot about them.

I want to conclude saying this: I do think Alma is a beautifully written character, and it was surprising how well the game handled such delicate themes, how it showed different affects of colonization and assimilation culture on the children without passing one of them as more rightful. Because at the end of the day this is what the story is about, and the fans ignore this too often: this is a metaphor for residential schools and their survivors. It’s a story about resistance and reconnection. You cannot forget this when you judge characters like Nor, or Teylan, or Alma. Again, you are not meant to defend her. It is not her story. It is the Sarentu’s story. And it is meant to parallel the real stories from which this one was inspired. Always remember that.