Small Blog But

I’ve been going through a bit of a dark time lately.

I doubt anyone on here really cares, and it’s probably gonna sound like a first world problem, but I need to vent about it. I’ve struggled with a lot in my life. Abuse, assault, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, financial hardship, bullying, etc. Things are just finally starting to be okay at least as far as what’s going on in my life. The depression and anxiety and stuff are still there but that’s to be expected. Here’s my problem, I’m scared that I won’t be able to live my dream. Like I said, I know it sounds like a first world problem, but hear me out. My dream is to make music. I don’t care whether or not I’m a celebrity, in fact, I’d prefer not to be. But I do want to help people. I want to give people a reason to live with my music just like other people gave me a reason to live with theirs. For a long time I didn’t think I was good enough to make music. However, I recently got a whole lot of positive feedback. I shared my music with some people at the hospital I was in a few weeks back and they freaked out. They were so supportive of me and really wanted me to pursue music. They really thought I had a shot. They thought I was amazing. It was incredible to have all those people supporting me and it really made me realize that I can do this. The problem is that I don’t have the means. I don’t have the kind of money to get recording equipment that’ll record my voice the way that it sounds in person instead of cutting out all of the power in my voice and making it sound average. I don’t have a soft voice. I don’t have a voice that can be accurately represented with an iPhone mic. Those mics try to cut out echo and background noise which is really detrimental to someone who has a voice like mine. I know it sounds really stupid but it’s really been a struggle for me. I’m terrified of becoming average. Don’t get me wrong, we need people to work in offices and be nurses and construction workers and teachers and everything else in between. But that’s not for me. It’s not who I am. I don’t think I could ever be that person. I think I’d probably kill myself if I was forced to. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I really appreciate you caring enough to do so. Thank you.

Ugggghhhhh

I don’t wanna pack. Packing is lame.

*Candace Flynn voice* Mom, Donald’s colluding with foreign governments again!

me: *finally opens up to someone"

me: *feels better afterwards*

a few hours later

me: i am so sorry to even have bothered you. please erase my existence from your memory.

beep beep

Okay so this pic is old news obviously, but what I don’t see people talking about is the fact that Candace Owens is MARRIED. I wanna know why miss family values is holding his arm and looking at him like that. 🤨

Welp I thought that was a person. Time for bed.

I wanna address something I’ve seen a lot of. Bear in mind that this post is not addressing or defending anything J.K. Rowling has said about the trans community. To be clear, trans rights are human rights. But this post is not about that. This is strictly about some of the racism accusations I’ve seen. I just wanted to clarify some things so that people don’t feel guilty for enjoying books that many are claiming to themselves be racist. The first thing I wanted to clarify is about house elves. House elves are not based on slavery, as many people have claimed. House elves are actually taken directly from English folklore. Almost every detail is pulled directly from there, so this is an extremely easy claim to debunk. I also wanted to address the discussion about goblins. First, I will say that goblins have always been portrayed as greedy with large hooked noses, though that could definitely be related to antisemitism. However, the fact of the matter is that Rowling never described the goblins as having hooked noses in the books. The only goblin described as having a hooked nose was Griphook. It was just one of his facial features. All of the goblins having hooked noses was a decision made by the film team, not Rowling. The final things I wanted to discuss are the names. Two in particular. Cho Chang and Kingsley Shacklebolt. The argument about Kingsley in particular is just ridiculous. The last name Shacklebolt has nothing to do with slavery any more than Flitwick does with candle wicks or Lockhart does with Locks or Hufflepuff does with smoking or Bagshot does with shooting bags or Fudge does with chocolate- you see my point. The books contain a myriad of ridiculous names that are not innuendos, so why should we assume this one is? As for the Cho Chang matter, yes, they are both last names. However, there was clearly no racist intent in this. She saw the names. She thought they sounded good together. It’s alliterative, like so many other names in her books. That’s it. So are the books a little insensitive by today’s standards? Yes. But so are a lot of things. Hindsight is 20/20 people. Are they racist though? No, they’re not. So think whatever you want about the books’ author, but the books themselves are not racist, so please feel free to read them without any guilt. They are wonderful books that have managed to make hundreds of millions of people happy, and it’d be a shame to stop people from reading them because of false information being spread on the internet.

Me: Man, Harry Potter is so dreamy.

Friend: Yeah, Daniel Radcliffe is pretty hot. He needs to ditch the beard though.

Me: No no. Not Daniel Radcliffe. Harry Potter.

Friend: But-

Me: Shhh... Harry Potter.