How It Probably Happened

Doing my best to hold out on that mental breakdown til November so I’m not in the hospital on Halloween. Yeet yeet.

It must suck being a little person at an amusement park. You know when you were a kid and you’d look at the big rides and be like, “One day, I’ll be tall enough to ride those.” They never got to do that. They never got to ride the big rides. Somebody build these people an amusement park.

Spooky enough for a doot?

My dad: Mike Birbiglia has a new comedy special. Wanna watch it?

Me: Yeah sure!

My dad: Wait I feel like we’ve already seen this one. Who’s the other one who’s a man-child?

Me: John Mulaney?

My dad: Yeah, him.

As someone who has taken college courses on colonialism, can I just say that the idea that colonized groups or groups that were forced into slavery lived in these perfect societies where no one was discriminated against and everyone was happy until the white man came is literally based on racism. Like, it’s LITERALLY the myth of the noble savage. It’s the same concept that led to things like the Disney version of Pocahontas and other offensive misrepresentations of Native Americans and Africans across popular culture. It’s an incredibly harmful stereotype. No race, ethnicity, or group of people was ever perfect. No one had the answers. No one had everything figured out. Colonialism was BAD, but it wasn’t bad because it ruined paradise. It was bad because it killed and hurt people, destroyed culture, and had harmful impacts for generations to come. So can we stop pushing racist stereotypes as some “woke” ideology, please? Thank you.

“I’m losing brain cells because of you kids!”

thought this would be useful information for the people of tumblr dot com

Not a meme,

Random shitty picture of a younger me with snorkeling gear. My grandma had a fencing competition and brought me along because it was free.

Do you think Anna and Elsa saw each other walking around the palace sometimes and just kinda did that awkward shuffle thing you do when you see your ex in public? Or maybe they saw each other at meals on occasion but they just sat at opposite ends of their extra long dining table avoiding eye contact like a very unhappily married couple.