Yeah Maybe I Am A Little Desperate But I'm Making Up For All The Affection I Never Got Growing Up 🙃

Please please eat me alive turn my body into something sacred I don't want to be here anymore everything is so tiring and I get no reprieve from the monotony and the pain and oh this pain is too much for such a little body I'm desperate please I'm tired I'm scared I don't want to be here anymore

"But why do you let your disability stop you?" Because that's.... what disabilities... do. That's... literally the basic definition... of being disabled... A disability impairs your ability to function. That's what the term means. That's the main thing

It's like, I either feel an emotion stronger than I should, or I don't feel anything at all. And here's the thing, I feel happiness stronger than I should too, which essentially means I only feel happy when I'm euphoric, because regular happiness doesn't feel like anything. If it's there, it's exceptionally hard for me to identify it, and I end up just feeling sort of weird?

It makes me come off as unappreciative or disinterested even when I want or enjoy something, and I feel like it's something that needs to be talked about more.

I've had a lot of interactions where in the end the person I was with seemed uncomfortable, because I came off as cold or bored or annoyed, even though I was enjoying the interaction.

Just one of the many things that have caused me to miss out on life.

Knowing you're gonna have an episode soon and being able to do absolutely nothing to stop it is like waiting for your execution or trying to outrun a tsunami

“you’re so mature for your age” thanks I was not allowed to show any vulnerability as a child

BPD culture is I'd rather die than even feel abandoned.