You Shouldn't Regret Anything

Why is it that I am tired throughout the entire day, but I as soon as I get to bed, I can't sleep a wink and am completely awake?

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

Can anyone suggest any good lgbt+ pride songs?

I only know a few and I need to listen to more to quench my gay thirst.

The original post was from @ravenclawtraash

Hufflepuff: Are you sure you’re up for an all-nighter? Last time we studied this long you got kind of weird.

Ravenclaw: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, I promise.

[6 hours later]

Hufflpuff: [looks up from book] Well, I think that’s all I can handle for tonight. How about you, Ravenclaw? *looks around* Hello? Where did you go??

Ravenclaw: [from the shadows]

Let’s talk about what’s happening in Australia, which is suffering its worst bushfire season in recorded history.

This almost unimaginable catastrophe has killed half a billion animals with more than 14.5 million acres burned and released over 250 million tonnes of CO2 so far.

More than 5 million hectares have been burnt, and this number continues to climb – that’s the equivalent of one fifth of the entire UK // equivalent to twice size of Belgium.

Half a billion mammals, birds and reptiles have been affected, including an estimated 30% of the entire koala population in this area.

Lives and homes have been lost. Our thoughts are with the tens of thousands of people who are affected by these fires.

We HAVE to help... we have to do something before it’s too late. Pray For Australia 🐨and

Donate:

www.givit.org.au

www.rfs.nsw.gov.au/volunteer/support-your-local-brigade

www.cfa.vic.gov.au/about/supporting-cfa

www.cfsfoundation.org.au/donate

This is climate change.

Well I guess I use Tumblr now...

Gay and Relatable

Remember when the fucking Notre Dame burned down and everyone knew instantly and it was over every single news outlet?

Well there’s been a massacre going on in Sudan for DAYS and NOBODIES COVERING IT!

So there is currently a media blackout in Sudan to try and coverup the horrors taking place:

Stop what you’re doing and please reblog this. Innocent people are being murdered, people are trapped, have no internet access, and are being raped by the dozens on the streets of Sudan.

The death toll is estimated to be over 300 civilians. And the fact that not a single major news outlet is covering this is horrific and disgusting. Please help get the word out about Sudan!

Quick reminder that you’re totally allowed to like things without diving completely into knowing everything about them

you like 2 or 3 songs by a band and never listened to more? that’s perfectly okay

you like the Marvel movies but have no interest in reading 50 years of comic books? totally fine

you only play one or two videos games, mostly on your cell phone? they’re fun!

you read and enjoyed the Harry Potter books but don’t care about looking into crazy theories and clues planted in the stories? It’s not for everyone!

You don’t need to meet a requirement to enjoy something and anyone who claims you do is an elitist and an asshole