Shannon Elle

Can you cover the a team by ed sheeran?

As soon as I'm better, it will happen, anon! That's a great song.

How To Save A Life - The Fray

Spare Change

The dimly lit chapel is silent. If my grandmother were still alive, she would be the only one crying for her son. People like my father, who was sometimes irrationally poetic, never take into account their cause of death when asking for an open casket funeral. I guess having the shit beaten out of you over a gambling debt doesn’t cross one’s mind as the way they’re going to die. I can’t say I never wished it on him though.

I’m standing at the back of the sanctuary, partially watching the people come to pay respects, partially lost in thought. There are few enough attenders that I can still see his coffin; simple and bright, like he was once. I truly thought I loved my father, but he was not a good man, in the end. The last two years were rough; learning that my father would sell out his family was rough. We weren’t slaves, but we would’ve been on the streets if I hadn’t dropped out of college to get a job. Hell, we all had to drop things; we had to sell my little brother Jamie’s piano. I’ll probably hate myself the rest of my life for taking that away from him, but I’d be damned if I let him starve. All our bills and costs now aren’t a quarter of what he took to throw at cards. I was relieved when I found out he bit it; I’ll probably hate myself a long time for that too.

I’ve made my way to the middle of the aisle, where Jamie’s standing. He hugs me tight, resting his head on my chest. Fourteen’s an awkward age where he understands what’s happening, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it. I imagine we could have been good friends if we’d have more time these last couple years, but I’ve been working and he’s been hiding up in his room; he really looked up to dad.

Dad. It’s a foreign word to me. I suppose I haven’t said it in well over a year, I haven’t really thought of him like that in so long. Hopefully Jamie still does, or did. It’s still weird he’s gone.

When I was nine, we made a bet, my dad and I. My baby brother had just been born, and I was upset because I thought I was going to be replaced by him. He bet me three bucks that Jamie would never replace me. Being nine, I didn’t understand what it meant to make that kind of bet, but I’m not ignorant to it now.

I find myself standing by my father’s body, some people looking at me, maybe waiting for me to say something. I reach into my pocket and grab a fiver; drop it in with him.

“Keep the change.”

I DARE YOU TO ANONYMOUSLY GIVE ME A NICKNAME

LITERALLY, ANY NICKNAME PLEASE

Fairytale

Teddy

I was there when you said your first word Your mother’s laughs of joy being painted into the walls Your father’s smile combing them with the scent of pride Your words ever floating, hanging in the air

I was there when you had your first kiss Your dream-induced eyes engaged with mine Your entranced lips telling me all about his Your hair a mess from running your hands through it for excitement

I was there when you had your first breakup When your eyes dripped of uncertain loss Your cheeks like early morning dew from your river of tears My fur a mess from crying into me, no more of a help than a punching bag

I was there when your parents told you what was going to happen How they still loved you, no matter what Your hands trembling on my soft arms Your indignant sobs of unbelief thrown at the door behind them

I was there when you had your first time The soft words of passion mixing with the powerful hands of lust Your uncertainty, your reluctancy, your anxiety His response when you refused

I was there when you cut yourself for the first time Your tears of self-malice ripping down the fabric of your cheek The first drops of siphoned blood falling on my body Your heaving cough from your third Or fourth Or fifth cigarette Of that day

I was there when you brought home the first customer Your dead Empty Expression writing believable lies filled with contempt and self-pity Entrancing him for the sake of money’s worth The monster that lay deep within I remember seeing for what wasn’t the first time

I was there when you brought home the pills Your hair a mess, your cheeks like glacial rivers, your hands trembling Your uncertainty, your rage, your decision

Your words ever floating, Hanging in the air

Without You

Oh, you're running through my head Get out right now I don't have time for this I've done my time with you Can't you see I just I just want to go home

I'm not too good for you Oh, why can't you see I'm on my way to a new life Without you and me It's not like I don't want to see you any more I just need to open up a brand new door

I still love you more than ever I just need some time I still love you more than life I just need to figure out mine Without you Here

Oh, I'm talking to myself I can't sleep I dream of you all night I guess what you sow you reap My life's not on the line But it's getting hard to See the bigger picture Even though I am free

I still love you more than ever I just need some time I still love you more than life I just need to figure out mine Without you Here

I'm just tired, I'm just worn You've opened up my heart You're the best thing to ever Happen to me...

This is my camp name and signature.

sara toufali