Reblog To Save A Life

"And that makes you, the Scarlet Witch"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!❤❤

'he's most likely impotent'

me: *watches criminal minds for 9 hours* anything: *makes a noise* me: I’m looking for a white male between the ages of 25-45 probably a loner probably most definitely hates women probably drives a red late model dodge truck probably lives alone his moms name is Helen and his favorite color skittles are the red ones

in your twitter au, have mari and adrien revealed their identities to each other? or are they going into this 100% unknowing?

The majority is pre-reveal! Adrien accidentally reveals his identity at the end of part seven, which takes place on August 11th, 2019. Everything after that will be post-reveal (on his side at least, we’ll see Mari plays her cards soon enough).

Do note that the parts don’t occur chronologically! It’s important to pay attention to the dates.

Updated Timeline:

1999-2001: Most of the kids are born.

2016: Adrien and Marinette get their respective miraculous (~16).

Sep. 4th, 2018: LB/CN join Twitter (post 1).

Oct. 11th, 2018: Chat roasts HM's fashion taste (post 1).

Nov. 7-8th, 2018: Marichat/TMZ drama (post 3).

Jan. 6-13th, 2019: "Chat Noir is a slut"/buttercup (post 5)

Apr. 15-18th, 2019: Chloé's incorrect Gandhi quote (post 4)

May 1st-8th, 2019: Eat the rich/Nino gets sued. (post 6)

Jun. 18th, 2019*: #StopCyberbullyingDay (post 2)

Aug. 11th, 2019: A/M get locked in the bathroom whoops (post 7)

*I mislabeled post 2, it happened in 2019, not 2018.

Hexside? Assemble!

I dreamed of getting married but instead of like "oh so happy yay" it's me crying to my mom because i didn't want to get married yet cus i was still young and had dreams but i didn't want to dissapoint anyone by saying "no i do not want to get married" because they had this celebration made for me and that is so in character of me and now im scared of being in a relationship🥲

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

Brion: Gregor argued that Batman could beat Superman by outsmarting him

Superboy: that's stupid! Why would they ever fight?

Me, throwing a shoe at the TV playing Batman V Superman: yeah totally, you are so right no doubt about that

The cartoon network cancelled a cinematic masterpiece, only for it to come back stronger and with more vine-worthy content

What happened to Dolores? Is she safe? Will the Mets win whenever they would play? I need answers

Stakeout

Batman: Oracle, status report.

Oracle: [over the comms] the teams are all in position. Things are quiet so far.

Batman: Hm. Ok, thank you Oracle. I'll check in on them. [switches over to Nightwing and Robin's frequency]

-

Nightwing: -nd I've already bought it! You need to socialise more; this is an important part of your childhood.

Robin: No.

Nightwing: It's so cute, though. You'll look adorable!

Robin: [with feeling] No.

Nightwing: [huffs] At least try it on; I already paid for it.

Robin: I am NOT going trick-or-treating.

Batman: ...[switches over to Orphan and Batgirl's comms]

-

Batgirl: -so then I said "you put that hand anywhere near me again I'll break it off" and he-

Orphan: B is listening now.

Batgirl: oh, hey B. Anyway then we had sex and he had this-

Batman: [cuts off the feed before he becomes even more traumatised] ...

Batman: ...ok. [tunes into Red Robin and Red Hood's frequency]

-

Red Hood: [in a fake posh voice] the handyman?!!! How could you DO this to me Dolores?!

Red Robin: [in a high-pitched voice] How could I?!! How could I NOT?? You married your office long before I ever fucked Juan-Eduardo!

Red Hood: Don't you DARE put this on me! I knew I shouldn't have hired that ridiculously good looking sonofabitch!

Red Robin: Hah! Well that wouldn't have stopped me from sleeping with CHAD!

Red Hood: NO!

Red Robin: [Triumphantly] OH YES

Red Hood: NO! MY BEST FRIEND?? WILL THE LIES NEVER END DOLORES??

Red Robin: YES! And let me tell you- he was SO MUCH better than you. He-

Red Hood: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART DOLORES

Red Robin: [breaking character] nice one

Red Hood: thank you

Batman: [over the comms] what are you DOING?

Red Robin: Hi B. There's a couple in the building across from us who're having a huge fight. We're giving them voices.

Red Hood: [in his fake voice] Look at all these papers! These papers that I'm waving around! Look at them!!

Red Robin: [as "Dolores"] Well if you love your papers so much why don't you MARRY THEM?

Red Hood: MAYBE I WILL

Red Robin: I HATE YOU! I have always hated you! and what's more- I HATE your MOTHER.

Red Hood: [gasps] MY MOTHER IS A SAINT AND A GIFT TO MANKIND

Red Robin: YOUR MOTHER IS A DECREPIT OLD WHORE

Red Hood: I WILL- DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME DOLORES

Red Robin: [hisses] Whenever the Mets play, I wish they would lose.

Red Hood: [gasps] YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?? ME -the man who obviously bought every piece of Mets Merch known to man and display them in every room of our apartment like a tool?! HOW COULD YOU??!

Red Robin: Well what are you gonna do about it? HUH?

Red Hood: WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO! I'M GONNA TAKE THIS GUN- [breaks character] Ohmygod he's got a gun! Shit fuck moving out

Red Robin: We're coming Dolores!

[Line goes dead]

Batman: ...[stares unseeingly at the sky]

Oracle: Aw man, and it was just getting good too.