Ruth And The Romance Of Consent

Ruth and the Romance of Consent

This year rereading the Book of Ruth I've been making sure to contextualize her within the rest of Tanakh. She's a beautiful little romance in isolation and a pointed moral commentary about sexual accountability in conversation with Genesis. In fact, she's a better romantic text if you deliberately read her in response to Genesis.

Ruth is a descendant of Moab and Boaz is a descendant of Judah. That two people from these specific families meet and marry is no literary/theological accident, since Genesis stans will immediately remember that both bloodlines are born from a sexual crime.

The man Moab for whom the nation is named was conceived by rape-incest, Lot's daughter mounting him when he is drunk. (Genesis 19) While the moral lesson of that sordid episode is complex and murky, the horror is blatant.

Boaz is the great-great-great-grandson of Peretz, who was conceived by Judah sleeping with his disguised daughter-in-law Tamar. (Genesis 38) Judah condemns her as a harlot to be burned, and though he cancels the death penalty once he realizes he is the father, the Biblical author is clear that he has all the power, responsibility, and blame in the situation.

In both cases, a child is born from a man and his daughter figure having sex. Leviticus 19 is explicit that such a relationship is forbidden. (Remember that Biblical law makes an immoral act an illegal one.) Both women acted from desperation in trying to conceive an heir but explanation is not excuse, especially since neither man knowingly consented to the act.

One might think, in a society obsessed with lineage and legitimate inheritance, that Moab and Peretz would be cursed morally and socially for their parents's sin, that their children's children would still bear the shame. But the Book of Ruth upends that expectation by having their descendents act with such morality that they merit the kingdom and the future Messianic dynasty.

When Boaz marries Ruth, he is technically fulfilling an esoteric Biblical inheritance law called yibum, honoring his dead relative Mahlon by marrying his childless widow so that Mahlon will have an heir. All very formal and proper, except that absolutely none of their contemporaries should have expected them to bother! Ruth isn't Jewish, so why should she care about property she's not allowed to access? (Marrying a Moabite woman was also illegal.) Naomi is explicit about releasing Ruth from any obligation she might feel. And Boaz is a wealthy, established community leader who's not even a close relative, so why would he marry Mahlon's goyische ex? The sexual ethics laws don't apply here, no one would notice if they just fucked.

Ruth and Boaz's meet-cute, therefore, is neither just a love story (against all odds!!) nor just a creative case study on how to apply weird property laws. When Ruth slips into Boaz's bed in the middle of the night, the Biblical audience can reasonably expect another murky sexcapade, like in Genesis. Nothing new under the sun, right? Just another desperate woman taking advantage of an oblivious powerful man to secure her survival.

INSTEAD, we get a compassionate, gentle scene where the couple not only does not sleep together, Boaz promises to marry her. In the dark, on the floor, in the middle of the harvest season, two kindred spirits open their hearts and hopes and trust each other to honor their promises the morning after. Your faves could never.

In Jewish tradition, we usually classify yibum as redemption, ie Boaz redeeming Mahlon's property and inheritance. But before the property redemption in front of the court, there was a moral redemption, made in private with no witnesses but the sacks of grain and the LORD.

Ruth and Boaz remind us that consent and dignity are always beautiful and romantic. We respect our sexual partners because it is right, not in expectation of reward or applause. And when we do, we can blot out the memory of any ancestral crimes. The generational trauma is ended, and love & trust will merit the World To Come.

Happy Shavuot!