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Is it ever okay to rip your shirt off at work?

Beulah W. Miner, Human Tactics Strategist

I was giving a talk at a business conference in Las Vegas last week when I got asked a very interesting question: “Is it ever okay to rip your clothes off at work? And if so, when?”

It’s a fascinating question, and one that can be answered in a lot of different ways depending on the situation—your relationship with your coworkers, whether there are any cameras on you, and whether you expect to be called out by some punk loser later on that day. That last one is a major sticking point. It’s bad news brown if you rip your shirt before you’re ready for your big meeting.

After pausing for a few seconds to lick my lips and look around at the audience, I said that when it comes to ripping off your clothes at work, always be respectful of the big boss man’s rules. But now that I have time to elaborate, here are three things I’ve learned from years of pushing my chest through shirts:

Never tear off any clothes while walking through a cloud of smoke, always make sure the camera has a clear line of sight. 

Remember that you only have one shirt, so save it till the end of your speech for dramatic effect.

Avoid having a shirt around your neck if your co-presenter is known for atomic drops—it could quickly become a choking hazard.

The fact of the matter is, there are tag teams that really embrace shirt ripping and tag teams where it just doesn’t make sense. One team I worked with would throw chairs, smash people into posts, and spin each other around by their ankles—just to make their point. But what worked for them doesn’t work for everyone. They got results, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters in the wrestling business. Whether you shred your shirts or press them, the important thing is to know your team and know your opponent. 

Monster of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: “Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him; but I am solitary and abhorred.”

Monster of Frankenstein in pop culture: (unintelligible moaning)

when the post is the deactivated blog being roasted i feel like we are passing by a murder

i hate how when you scroll over posts it says blogs are deactivated like i fell like we are passing a corpse and it feels wrong

If it wasn’t for that piano music Kingdom Hearts would be a comedy.

@setheverman @setheverman @setheverman

when you’re so sleep-deprived that you don’t even feel tired anymore

this hurt to laugh at