If You Want To Discourage This Behavior, It’s Probably Easier To Talk About It In Gender-neutral Terms.  “In

If you want to discourage this behavior, it’s probably easier to talk about it in gender-neutral terms.  “In crowded spaces, it’s rude to take up more space than you need.”  I think most people can agree on that.  I think if we called it something like “seat hogging” very few people would come out of the woodwork to defend it.

But as soon as you turn it into a gender discourse–”manspreading is a symptom of toxic masculinity teaching men that it’s manly to take up more space than women”–then you find people willing to go waaaayyyy out on a limb to justify it.  What about men’s hip shapes?  What about squishing their balls?  Why are you demanding everyone sit with their kneecaps perfectly touching at all times?  You can’t prove that 100% of men do this and 0% of women do this! Suddenly “is it okay to be the human equivalent of a BMW parked across three spaces” becomes a live debate.

And I don’t really know what the answer is here.  It’s easier to not bring gender into it if you just want a damn subway seat that isn’t 50% knee.  But it’s not the whole story, and it’s letting people push you around by means of obnoxious discourse.  And if we concede ground here, does it make it harder to talk about issues that can’t be discussed without admitting some kinds of gender disparity exist?

…Aw man, now these guys have even got their metaphorical knees in women’s way.