I’m????

people who complain about “getting too many asks”

how do i tell my mom that this “minimalist wooden nativity set” she put up just looks like a forest of dildos

Not to critique evolution, but I would think orange and black stripes wouldn’t be as good for camouflage in a forest as, say, green and black would.

no words needed.

goodbye.

Why didn’t you get a skwad tattoo? Man, I’m a grown ass man.

Twitter has a 140 character limit, yet I still found a way to tell one of the longest and most obnoxious knock-knock jokes of all time within a single tweet.

I am more proud of this accomplishment than any human right has the right to be.