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How To Build A (Realistic) Femme Fatale Wardrobe: Daily Essentials To Harness Your Dark Feminine Energy

The goal is to feel sexy and sophisticated in well-fitting pieces that are appropriate for the time of day and occasion. Elegance is not embodied by a particular ensemble but by how well-suited it is for the event you're attending. Following proper etiquette involves taking context into account. Femme fatale dressing mixes classic, contemporary, and edgy pieces with a hint of glamour for some extra appeal.

Let's begin with the foundation: Choose pieces that strike a balance between sexy and streamlined. Matching lingerie always makes you feel hot and put together. Make sure its seamless, comfortable, and breathable.

A basic lace bra – in a black or skin-toned colorway (I prefer an underwire with some padding for the look and feel, but adjust for your cup size/comfort if needed).

Pair with a seamless, matching lace thong that can be worn under anything and should not show under your clothes.

For that time of the month, swap out the thong for seamless boyshorts with lace trim (for some much-needed sensuality when you're feeling a bit more sluggish to have some extra coverage).

Shapewear: A high-waisted thong, shorts, or a short bodysuit will likely be the most versatile option (my favorite brands are Commando and Heist). Use to streamline your silhouette (it's not necessarily about size or weight, just making sure your clothes lay properly over your curves).

Simple tops in sensual fabrics (Pima Cotton, Silk, Satin): Every woman needs some well-cut tank tops, t-shirts, and long-sleeve tees. Vary your wardrobe with a few body-conscious and few relaxed styles with each sleeve length. Scoop neck and crew neck options look more refined than v-necks and are more versatile for layering. Turtlenecks are a great option for the colder months and offer sensual appeal without showing any skin. Search for these staple tees in comfortable, luscious fabrics like Pima cotton and washable silk (Everlane has great, more affordable options. Try Lilysilk and Lunya if you want to invest a bit more into these basics).

Camis, Blouses, and Button-Downs: Black silks, satins, leather, coated fabrics, and a simple cotton option or two offer a nice variety for different climates and occasions. Invest in classic button-down options and experiment with wrap-front, turtleneck, halter necks, twist-front, shirred, and strappy details– depending on your personal aesthetic and preferences. Look for luxurious details, like gold or mother of pearl buttons to elevate your daily outfits.

Blazers, Leather Jackets, Trench & Tailored Wool Coats:

Sharp lines and luscious fabrics provide an irresistibly sophisticated allure that allows you to feel sexy and stay warm. Invest at least one of each and ensure they're well-tailored.

(Vegan) Leather, Silk, or Wool Blazer (In Black)

A Classic Moto Jacket

A Black Trench Coat (in cotton or vegan leather) for transitional weather

A Single or Double-Breasted Black Wool Coat (that hits at or right above the knee)

Well-Cut Trousers & A Few Perfect Pairs of Jeans: Go for classic wool trousers, black jeans, or leather pants in a straight or boot-cut silhouette that fits like a glove. Try structured yoga pants or ribbed/leather-trimmed options for lazy days.

Simple Skirts With An Elevated Twist: Try a leather mini skirt or a silk midi skirt to add a more feminine element to your look.

Slip Dress!! Try a black option with or without lace trim – pair it a leather jacket or some type of blazer over the top to keep it casual and classy for daily wear.

Essential Footwear:

Classic Black Loafer (Round or Square-Toe with Minimal Gold or No Hardware)

Black Lace-Up (Combat) Boots

Knee High/Over The Knee Black Boots (Flat Option)

Block Heel Square-Toe Boot (Vagabond has great options for every day – try Miista for slightly more elevated options)

Clean White Sneaker (for super casual days)

Accessories:

Chain-link Necklaces/Bracelets (Gold, Silver, or Mixed Metals)

Simple Hoops/Ear Cuffs

Classic Wrist Watch

A Structured Large Black Tote or Satchel Bag

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Femme Fatale Guide: Realistic Tips & Tricks to Become "That Girl"

Some alternatives to having an entire day before 9am that allow you to enjoy your life and help you find pleasure in reaching your goals. Enjoy xx

Focus on a consistent sleep schedule, not select times: Structure your day around your energy, not an idealized schedule is guaranteed to not work for everyone. Wake up at 6-7 am, if you're a true early riser, and head to the gym to get your day started. Otherwise, there's no reason why waking up at 8-9am and getting in an evening-time workout session is lesser than.

Plan your days & week around your energy peaks: Figure out the times of the day when you're most focused, productive, creative, fidgety, sleepy, etc., and structure your days/weeks/month around your internal clock to the best of your ability. While this may be slightly difficult if you have a 9-5 or go to school during the day, think about what blocks of time are best dedicated to meetings, creative work, planning, routine tasks, emails, studying, etc. For those with uteruses, consider your energy throughout your cycle to help you plan the month.

Create "bookend" routines: While these will often be your morning and nighttime routines, consider how you prime and unwind your mind from your biggest tasks of the day (for most of us, this will be work, school, and chores on the weekends). Some reading, light movement, and upbeat music can create momentum before starting your daily tasks. A long walk and some journaling are a simple yet productive combination to decompress from the day.

Embrace the power of 3s: Create a daily primer routine, workday, and relaxation routine around 3 core tasks/projects/rituals. For example: Mornings can include using your 5-Minute Journal, doing a quick 10-minute meditation/yoga/dancing session to get in some movement, and spending 10 minutes reading; Your workday should be focused on completing your "Big Three" tasks, projects, or meetings of the day; Evenings can include a quick 5-10 minute planning session for the next day, a 15-60 minute walk or workout (depending on how you're feeling), and some journaling/reading time after dinner. You don't need to do it all. Consistency is key.

Create a "pleasure" and "pain" list. Own your inner masochist: Open up a fresh journal page or web document. Create two separate lists titled "Pleasure" and "Pain." The first list captures all of the simple pleasures that make your days enjoyable (from coffee rituals and your skincare routine to small work successes, daily movement, and indulgent evening treats, like a favorite TV show, a glass of wine, tea, etc.). The second list captures the tasks you regularly dread or procrastinate out of hatred and overwhelm (includes tedious or mentally-draining work tasks, meetings, chores, difficult workout sessions, necessary conversations with emotionally immature people, etc.). Looking over these two lists gives you an overview of your daily experience to help you (realistically) optimize your day for more ease and enjoyment.

Incorporate a pleasurable element into every ritual: Find ways to pair these more "painful" activities with something pleasurable. Examples include having a favorite coffee or tea while working on a draining work project, listening to a fun playlist, taking a walk/doing a face mask or massage while having a less enjoyable conversation, etc.)

Leverage habit stacking: Build habits on top of one another to set yourself up for success. Use a nearly mindless or enjoyable "cue" to spark action that results in habit formation. For example, use sipping your morning coffee as a cue to read your 10 daily pages or do some journaling. Leave your workout clothes out beside your bed with your yoga mat all laid out to make it stupidly easy to get your workout done right away. Have a playlist curated and opened to let you press "start" immediately when you need to begin your work day.

Create a capsule menu/wardrobe: Streamline your everyday meals and outfits by curating a handful of healthy breakfasts/lunches/dinners/snacks and outfits that you can put together mindlessly throughout the week. While creativity in these areas is fun, pre-determined options for busy days can help minimize decision fatigue. Know what staple groceries you need in your kitchen to make these recipes, and ensure to keep them in stock when going on your weekly grocery run. Have a few go-to outfits for work, running errands, working out, and social outings. Choose 5-10 well-fitting wardrobe staples that pair well together in the front of your closet at all times.

Become a playlist master: Curate different playlists for particular tasks, activities, and times of the day. Having playlists for creative/admin work tasks, reading, working out, cleaning, waking up, and winding down for the day can give you the energy to focus and not procrastinate or simply enjoy a necessary task more.

Focus on systems, not habits: Consider the domino effect of each practice and activity. Determine whether your current strategies and routines align with your energy, goals, and desired outcomes. Reflect on the parts of your routine that increase/decrease your energy and motivation. See how you can create a system – a pattern of consistently-practiced habits – that supports your goals and desired lifestyle that does not compromise your overall life satisfaction and well-being.

Experiment until you find an achievable balance: Focus on progress, not perfection. While there may be days or even seasons where hard work and fewer pleasures take priority, life is meant to bring you joy, peace, and satisfaction at the end of the day. Remaining in your comfort zone does you no good. However, learning ways to find pleasure in the process remains the key to long-lasting discipline and the energy necessary to maintain the determination required for success.

Sending you healthy and prosperous vibes xx