you want to know why salt lake city was founded??? its bcs everywhere else the early saints tried to settle they were violently driven out of. the state of missouri had a fucking death warrant on them and other states were only marginally better. they were assaulted, tarred and feathered, their houses burned down. there's a reason utah exists and it's because ever other fucking state wanted my ancestors DEAD for their religion
He is Risen! Today, we celebrate that Christ is alive.
In you, In me, In us, Christ lives!
1x01 // 1x09
”I find hope in striving to be whole.”
Oh I’m gonna need every line of this talk printed on my wall I can already tell. Go Sister Johnson, go.
It's been a while since I watched Supernatural, so don't take my opinions as gospel or anything. But I think Dean is self-hating to the point of narcissism in some ways. Don't get me wrong, I empathise with Dean and understand why fans largely do too. But his self-loathing warps his perception and becomes the centre of EVERYTHING and at times that really has ripple effects on those around him - particularly Sam.
Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.
Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.
Overall, it's interesting that people largely and rightfully sympathise with Dean due to his self-hatred. However, I don't see as much discussion about how his self-hatred doesn't just hurt him, it hurts those he's close to, as it colours his interpretation of their every action. Dean's self-loathing is always the biggest thing in the room and that has consequences.
Mine by Taylor Swift is theee SamJess song
This is niche, but we're going over this talk again and I had to do it
Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face.
stick season - noah kahan | supernatural 1.01
she/her | 20supernatural | percy jackson | hunger gameslds | byu student
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