Lili Sighs, Letting Another Resigned Hand Run Through Her Hair. “no, Nothing’s Hurt.” Just My Ego

here or —

“since july, it’s only been a couple months.” if lili put it altogether, she would have been a trainee for three years and a handful of months but who was counting — ever since she had got dropped earlier that year from her last company, it had seemed like time was infinite and she was stuck at the pit a of a sandglass.

slowly awaiting for it to swallow her whole.

even whilst joining a new company, lili often wondered what the fuck she was still doing in korea — then again, did she have anywhere else to return to if not here?

“have you been  here long?”

the other’s inquiries are interesting — not something she’s asked often and it does park a small, amused smile to her lips. compelled to the humor the other, she shrugs. “as often as you’d see a celebrity here, so i guess — quite often? if you hear the click of a camera, you’d think they were on every block.” los angeles had been a home for a good while — a place lili could only dream of once upon a dream — now she called it her hometown, how funny. “anywhere is dangerous if you go looking hard enough for it.” 

“nope,” she shakes her head, not that she ever would want to. “i don’t think i ever well, i don’t do scary things and i heard australia is full of them.”

❛ Oh no, I agree. Sometimes the coaches here can be too much. How long have you been a trainee, if I may ask? ❜ Amelia was curious how long the other girl had been here if she was still not used to how the trainers were in Legacy.

Upon hearing where the other was from, Amelia perked up slightly. ❛ Oh the infamous LA! Wow! I've always wanted to visit LA. I've heard a lot about it. Is it true you can see celebrities on the street or is it just a rumour? How is it by the way? I've heard it's beautiful but also dangerous. ❜ Amelia's face shifted slightly but not too much to alert the coach who was still as confused as before.

❛ Oh me? I'm from Australia! Though I'm not sure how much of my accent shows. ❜ She chuckled. ❛ Have you ever been? ❜

a complaint is already halfway up her throat, almost to her lips, when she bites it down. the warmth a very necessary welcome to limbs that were nearly tinted blue from the cold. 

does lili say her thanks — no, instead she smiles and says, “but this coat doesn’t match my dress.” all while buttoning the coat up and swallowing herself into its warmth. admitting defeat in the most quietest of ways.

it was parker, she thought waving a white flag this once in his presence would be fine.

her first white flag of the year — who knew it would happen this soon.

she muddles over the information parker passes over, almost whining as he skips over the best parts — “okay, but what about the dirty stuff, they sound nice and all but they have to have some cons, right?” 

and it wasn’t lili if she didn’t have a good pro and con for everyone she met. like for parker — pro: he was kind, con: he was so kind he was a bit naggy in a do what i say or it will break my heart kinda way and lili didn’t like to make a habit of letting people down like that.

least of all the people she thought of as hers.

Parker plays up the pain of Lili’s kick with a hop away and a small hiss, though barely any pain registered. He had certainly been kicked harder by his real sisters, but even as he had somehow become the older brother of some, especially the group he was meeting up with for Lunar New Year, he couldn’t pretend to be completely mature.

 “It’s the girl who’s going to be sick the rest of the break,” he comments with a roll of his eyes. He is already shrugging off his coat and forcing it over Lili’s shoulders with the roughness of someone who already knows they’re going to be refused but has no intention of taking their coat back. A bit of his red button-down can be seen between his scarf and the thick half-zip he had on under his coat; it’s warm enough for this distance to the restaurant, though he is not thinking about how he’s getting home yet. Maybe a drink or two will help. “They’ll like you just fine as long as you’re not sick over dinner.” 

He tips his head to indicate she should follow him but in truly Lili fashion she’s already pulling him along. “You really don’t need to impress them too much; they’re trainees like you are— or well… one of them is.” It’s been so long since he’s talked to Yuxi that sometimes he forgets she more than six months prior. “Yichen is really nice, and Yuxi…” he faulters in his steps to think of the best way to describe the other girl. “Honestly, I think you’ll like her. She’s a wannabe cool girl like you.” 

There really aren't very many people around the point they meet up, but the closer they get to Daerim-dong, the more people seem to pop up. While a good deal of the Korean residents are with their families, the official Chinatown shows more life with red and gold decorations.

THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON — if lili is the moon, what does that make @lgcjisoo?

color lili surprised when the news reaches unsuspecting ears — out of all things to be chosen for, she did not expect this. 

now, seeing it in person was a different experience. in between then and now, she hadn’t had much leeway with jisoo — maybe it was lili’s pride, maybe she just didn’t know what to say — but when she catches his eyes from across the room as she steps into the cosmetics trailer, she’s determined to make today the day that she gets a word in, no matter if the words that should be said have yet to make up their mind. 

it’s that weird in between again — 

they weren’t fighting, but they weren’t talking and lili didn’t know where they stood. and yet, here they were — watching from afar as the photoshoots commenced. 

“i like this.” she says, in between shots, when the photographer calls for a change of cameras and lighting — when eyes are all on the screens and not on the unsuspecting pair away from the bright lights. her fingers toying with the eclipse ring adorning her forefinger. she had never seen herself as a gold girl but even lili knew when something looked nice on her — and she couldn’t help but admire the outline of the silver moon against its contrasting hue. 

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

happy international women’s day 💝 to all the hot and powerful women, it’s your day so treat yourself to something nice on me ✨

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

two girls, one chicken coop  —  @lgcjaekyung

lili is no countryside girl.

she doesn’t even remember a time where she had voluntarily stepped out of the city — let alone, wanted to do so. pray tell, why would she want to leave the comforts and efficiency of a concrete jungle for the — pardon her ick — hovel that was the rural village they had currently been dropped in.

even though she was grinning and trying to bear it — the feigned laughs and smiles were starting to create an ache in her cheeks and make her voice hoarse — the smell was atrocious and lili was in dire need of an evian spritz or a d-air diffuser, stat.

was she starting to feel faint — she could feel herself waning.

then she stumbles, barely catching herself before she almost falls face-first into the dirt that she isn’t sure is just dirt or a mix of the compost and chicken poop that littered the area. fuck, even the rubber boats they had given her were falling apart from the smell — or so she thinks. 

she groans, immediately falling to a crouch beside a girl — was it jae … something … jane? june? jake? — all but a heap of defeat as she tries to muster a grin despite the stench strangling her nose out of her senses. “how are you able to do this — isn’t the smell killing you?” she whispers, honestly in awe at the other. lili may be in the worst mood ever but she had to give her appreciation where it was due. she sniffs, once — twice, trying to find a way to rid herself of the stink. 

“and chance you going deaf from hearing my screams all day? no, i think you chose wisely. plus, i like your ears.” her free hand reaches out to tug on an exposed lobe that wasn’t hidden by the helmet, fingertips lingering — as if relishing the heat that emitted from what was notably the warmest place on the body outside of one’s armpits but there was a hell of a chance that lili was going to shove her hands into his pits on national television. 

a brow crooks at his suggestive remarks — “a surprise? theres more? was this not all of it?”

oh, how lili loathed surprises — but her smile says otherwise; relaying a contrasted emotion: one of genuine confusion. “what could you have possibly prepared —“ she catches herself as she watches his feet shuffle into the skiis. sure, they were on a date but lili still wanted them to be safe — ski accidents were no joke!

( minkyu had to give her this — it might be the only time lili cared for someone’s well-being that wasn’t her own )

“yes! that looks about right,” she does the same, clicking her boots into place before turning to him, “so what’s this surprise down there, don’t i get a hint of some kind?”

if she had to bear with a surprise, she should at least get some clues to spark her interest.

Holding hands. Oh. They’re edging closer and closer to becoming the ultimate picture of an ultra-cute date couple - sweeter than any romance anime Minkyu has ever watched. It doesn’t feel unnatural, even if the physical closeness is new. They’re friends, after all. Regardless, he enjoys it, a soft smile tugging at his lips as his hand gently clasps hers in return.

“Luckily, while my skiing skills are lacking, I’m not afraid of heights at all,” he muses, a thoughtful hum escaping him. “Maybe I should’ve chosen an amusement park with the tallest roller coasters instead.” He laughs at the thought, lighthearted and easy.

Before long, their stop approaches, and they step off the chair lift. Ever the gentleman, Minkyu helps her down before guiding her to where they’ll get their skis ready. The air is much crisper up here, and when he glances at her, he notices the cold hasn’t left her unaffected.

“Your cheeks are so cute when they turn red like that.” he remarks with a grin before pressing his gloved hands gently to her chilled skin, offering a bit of warmth. “There’s hot chocolate waiting for us down there - aaaaaand maybe a little something special I’ve prepared as a reward for making it down in one piece.”

With that, he finally lets go, turning his focus to the skis. “We just step in until it clicks, right?”

“There was about her a wildness that flashed in her eyes. She was spoiled and beautiful and easily bored. She was either fiercely excited or cool and detached.”

— Kendra Bean, from Vivien Leigh: An Intimate Portrait (via violentwavesofemotion)

two girls freezing their asses off but don’t you know a gossiping hoe never gets cold? — @lgcmaylin

ever since snow had fallen upon seoul, the chill in the city had only turned for the worse — cloaking the entirety of the peninsula in the near negatives.

and you might be asking: just why was lili subjecting herself to the very cold that was freezing her to bits?

well — there were two presentable answers for such a thing.

one.

lili needed a smoke — badly — and the designated places for such a thing lacked the common decency of having a working heater.

and two.

she needed some space to air out her grievances after the last practice with a certain coach. and oddly enough, lili thought it was tacky to talk shit about an anal coach inside the company — but outside, mere feet away from where the door had safely hit its hinges, and even further away from nosy ears, did she feel comfortable to do just that.

unfortunately, the smoke that flows from pursed lips cease within minutes of another’s arrival. the cigarette snubbed at the sudden welcome, crushed beneath a leather boot, before being replaced with a pack of gum. it wasn’t a worthy substitute but because it was maylin, lili made an exception — just because the other girl quit all those years ago didn’t mean lili would ignore the other’s hard work just to get her nerves calmed.

immediately she flies into the other’s side, arm in arm, as if to conserve whatever heat the other had brought with her. “it’s so fucking cold tonight —” she breathes, the warmth of her breath billowing out into the cold in a puff.

HOW TO SAY I’M BORED BUT LIKE REALLY, REALLY BORED? lili knows english but apparently not the english that matters — @lgcasami

strangely enough, despite living in america — namely the palm-tree lined yards of bel air — for nine years, lili still considers english her second language; even if she confuses her mandarin more than her los angeles-accented english, she stills tells herself that she’s far more fluent in her mother-tongue than any other language she learns after the fact. and perhaps that is why she’s now stuck here, in english class, relearning grammar structures and how english really makes no fucking sense but here they are — still learning it for the sake of western advancement.

( a part of her wonders why she didn’t just take japanese lessons again, at least she’d be learning something worth her while )

it is with these thoughts that she looks to asami. good ol’ asami, always there to take her mind of the boring present and the relentlessly annoying english grammar system that makes no sense whatsoever. “so, did you learn anything new today?” she asks, actually curious if anyone else had listened to the lesson and had not dazed off like she had. “or are you regretting taking english and wished you took korean instead?”

lili immediately raises her fingers to form an ‘x’ in rejection. “no, no — just brunette and maybe layers, but no bangs.” lili was firm with her likes and her dislikes and she absolutely disliked the idea of bangs on herself. 

“yea, it’s kinda crazy. but i guess expected since we’re not like debuted official just training official? at least we get exposure through the company instagram.” like a pebble in an ocean, lili surmises. “better than nothing,” she adds at the end even if it was closer to nothing than anything else on her end.

nodding, her hand pushes the tray further towards kyoka with a smile, “はいー めしあがれ.” her japanese had somehow gotten better to a fault, enough for casual remarks but still not well enough to hold a lengthy conversation. 

Kyoka cocks her head to the side and blinks. Fair enough, Lili does look great as a brunette and she makes sure to say as much. Very mindful, very demure, she nods approvingly. Hey, maybe she should consider going brunette too someday, "With bangs too maybe, what do you think?" she asks, grabbing the tip of her hair to illustrate her vision.

She shrugs, the idea clearly not bothering her that much. "Everyone I really know is here or they're back home still and I'm not allowed to talk about them." She was definitely forgetting a lot of other people around her, but then again, she never made enough of an impression for people to really notice her anyways. "Can you believe we're not allowed in any social media, not even from fans posting about random meetings?"

And does she want Lili's potatoes, of course she does. Kyoka never turns down free food and she's also almost always kind of hungry anyways. Her piling up on the potatoes onto her plate is her response, and it's only right before she takes her first bite that she remembers to thank Lili, "I do, いただきます!!" head bobbing as she spoke.