CINNAMON ROLL DAY! -- @aishathevar @emelineviolette @leyla-tehrani

Since the moment of his confession, she had wanted something to make it better. Some word, some revenge, some idea...anything that would just make it better. He could offer her none of it. She knew he was sorry, but it wasn't a word that made it go away. It didn't bring the trust back or make her feel less unworthy; it didn't take the carefully crafted walls down or ease the self-talk that plagued her.

She couldn't leave him like this, even after everything. If any of the old Leyla was still alive, she had to care. She hated him, that was still true, but she loved him too. Not in the same way, that was long in the rearview, but people who made it to her heart never really left. Wiping quickly at her own tear, she started to reach for him but pulled her hand away like a flame that would burn. "You'll be okay," she murmured instead.

More of that poison-laced truth. If he wanted it, then why didn't he? That elusive why continued to taunt and torment her. "I'm having trouble believing that," she confessed honestly because it was all she could say. It still felt like her fault. You're too difficult, Leyla... "Maybe you're still just looking for something." Something not in her.

Her heart caved in as that question struck her with a million memories. Hands shaking, fork nervously tapping the plate, 'it's not the food' she would sob as if he didn't already know that. He was a great cook, and he never took any offense when she struggled to eat whatever he made. What do you need from me? When she looked too long in the mirror, counting every flaw. What do you need from me? When her mother called and made some fleeting jab of a remark. What do you need from me? "We're adults, there's no need to avoid each other, it's a small town," she said, leaving all emotion out of her voice. Her questions seemed pointless, and she wasn't sure if he had any more answers. But it came out anyway. "Was it...exhausting to love me? Was it too dark? Did you just need light?"

It was on the tip of his tongue again—another apology, trying to flee his parted lips and find her. Apologizing for apologizing too much was one of Vitus's most stubborn habits, formed over the last few years. He swallowed the rest of his I'm sorry's, forcing the horde of them back down into the core of his body. Leyla didn't want them anymore. Maybe she never had.

Here they were, both crying because Vitus hurt her ten years ago, and yet. Leyla was the one being patient with him. Guiding him back to some semblance of calm, the same way she used to. Deep breaths. She'd told him that when he stumbled home and splintered into a thousand sharp pieces after seeing his mother for the first time in years. As he had back then, Vitus followed her voice, drawing and releasing each breath one at a time. It helped. Of course it helped. And the fact that he'd burdened her with caretaking here, now, with him of all people, only drove the guilt deeper into his chest.

"I know, how it made you feel. How it made you doubt. But I did want to be faithful to you. I swear, I did. I've always wanted to be that guy." The one who could leave home for days at a time and think only of the connection waiting for him there. The one who didn't become excited, in some small part, whenever he cheated on someone. Vitus wanted the happily-ever-after kind of love, just never knew how to hold onto it long enough to make it last. She was right—he needed to figure it out, for the sake of every partner he'd ever hurt and every one he might still hurt down the line.

"What do you need from me?" He had asked her this question before. Intermittently throughout their relationship, as she struggled to look at the food on her plate or keep the future she wanted within sight. Back then it had been a matter of supporting her through personal troubles. This time, it was a matter of yielding to her amid the mess he made. "I can... answer any questions you have. I can steer clear of you around town." Intentional avoidance would heap more pain atop his shoulders, but this wasn't about him. "Whatever you need, Leyla."

She still hadn't quite gotten used to running into Dr. Lane, and every time she half-expected him to yell 'hey, I know you from therapy!' Which was ridiculous because he was a professional as all her many therapists had been, and this only had to be weird if she made it weird. "The Autumn Spice is probably my favorite. The cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg really make it taste like the holidays," she suggested, "but we're also doing a special for Creek Fest. It's a flight I've curated, it's just $5 and has that one, our Pumpkin Pie, Apple Cider Mule, and Ginger Pear mocktails. And we're actually donating those proceeds to Harmony Healers this week."

WHO: Josh & @leyla-tehrani

WHERE: Creek Fest

WHEN: September, 2023

"So, what do you recommend?" Josh asked as he looked over the menu, eyes scanning the drinks. Not much of an alcohol guy, Josh had to admit that he was pretty excited to see the Mawk Tales set-up, liking the idea of having something booze-free to drink, but still feel fancy about. Other than the eighteen million hot apple ciders he planned on drinking that week, on top of the hot chocolate, coffee and tea, since they were bound to find their way to him, too. "Honestly all of them sound good, I'm not sure where to start!"

"Girl Code," she explained, showing the older woman her book, "it's a book for female entrepreneurs. Building confidence, women supporting women, that sort of thing." Probably not the fiction most read on the beach, but she was always striving to be better in business, still feeling a bit like she was playing catch up. "Daymond John's The Power of Broke is in my bag if I finish this today. I'm hopelessly boring unfortunately. What did you bring?"

for @leyla-tehrani

"So what is it you're reading?" Aleja asked curiously, looking over at the woman a short distance from her on the beach. She'd brought her own large bag of books and things, but could never bring herself to focus while sitting in the sand and sun.

Leyla smiled warmly, though it had been a little jarring to have a ball flying at her face, it had clearly not been intentional. Following his gaze for a second, she wondered if one of the kids over there was his. "Very," she answered his question first, "it's a book for female entrepreneurs, Girl Code. I read a lot of business books these days. Is one of those kids over there yours? I saw you do a Dad check."

"You got it," Wesley couldn't help but chuckle at Leyla's response. Well, at least she wasn't upset. He glanced over at Ary for a second then back over at Leyla. "Good read?" he asked, head tilting in an attempt to make out just what book she had been reading anyway.

Giving him a little nod that he had it right, Leyla offered a little smile with the finished result. It was already making their home feel cozier, which wasn't something she was used to...but she was getting there. She'd never experienced home in this way before, and it was foreign but warm. The ice around her seemed to melt in this space, as strange as that sounded. Placing the sheet of seeds into the oven as instructed, she listened as he talked a bit about his childhood. It sounded a bit like a movie or 60's TV show. She could just imagine a tinier Dare running around with his siblings and a warm-hearted mother figure gathering them up for holiday festivities. "It felt very much like you," she mused, "what are some other traditions from your mom?"

Seeing her gesture, Darrius stepped the tiniest bit to the side, glancing back up to see if he had it right, and then carefully securied it where it needed to be, stepping back to admire his handy work. Sure, it was a simple garland. Yes, it was probably laughable to most people who went all out for Halloween. But to Darrius, who liked the pumpkins and leaves and corn stalks and watching Casper and Hocus Pocus and The Great Pumpkin… it made him feel good. Turning back to the kitchen, he looked at the seeds that she spread out, and nodded his head, "looks great! I already set the oven, so we should just be able to pop 'em in and let them do their thing," and then they would have a tasty snack when their other housemates arrived home. "I do! My mom taught me how, she'd always make me and my siblings save our pumpkin guts just so we could make these."

"Fair," she admitted, though she couldn't imagine being terrified of these gorgeous creatures herself, everyone had something. "I may judge the people who don't have taste a little bit," she joked with a laugh. Horses had been so much apart of her healing journey that her original love for them had only deepened in that experience. "A little, not as much as I would like, but I've been volunteering at Harmony Healers so I've at least been near them. When I saw they were doing the rides here, I had to selfishly get over here to enjoy some riding time. I'm not at all surprised Livvy has been inspiring you. I've never met someone so passionate about them. Do you two ride together a lot?"

"Well, I think some people are scared of horses." She stroked down the face of the horse she'd chosen. "And some people just...don't have taste." Elise had written competitively for a long while as a teen, but she was glad to be reconnecting with this side of herself. "Have you been riding at all recently? Livvy has inspired me in these past few months."

"Ah, you're familiar," she joked, laughing as they both clearly gave away that they were not born there. She nodded, agreeing, "quite." Smiling, she was grateful for the experiences she had, even if not all were full of positive memories. "My parents are Iranian," she explained, "that trip was to see some relatives. I speak both fluent Farsi and French, so both places allowed me to exercise those languages more. But it is, I would go back to Paris if the opportunity arose." Leaning against the arm of her beach chair, she beamed at the compliment to her business idea. "Thank you for saying so," she said quietly, "it seems to fill a need. I was hoping it would, but the feedback has been really positive." It was one thing to know and to hear it from customers, and another to get the praise of someone who had long run his own business. "I've always wanted to go to Italy, but I never got that far. What brought you here?"

"Spoken like a true New Yorker," he replied, trying his best to imitate the accent, as well. Something that he should have had down pat, after spending a few years there, himself. But he had spent much more time in Maine, was almost disappointing to find the accent a reach to achieve. "I can imagine it's a little bit of culture shock, though. Iran and Paris -- and then here to Merrock, you've really seen a lot," he smiled at the thought. "Can't say I've visited Iran, but Paris is gorgeous. One of those cities worth seeing just to say that you did, right?" He leaned back on his arms where he had settled onto his towel and let out a low laugh, "oh yes, we have quite a few bars, but your business is truly unique. And truth be told, I think sometimes people go to bars just because they're traditional meeting, social areas. Offer them something else, and why not take it?" He knew that it would happily be a place for him to visit with clients. "I was born in Italy, actually. Moved to New York City for law school, practiced for a few years before I made the move here."

"Exactly, I think it'd make the place cozier," Leyla said with a bit of a laugh. She had found it endearing. As an only child, she hadn't shared a lot of space before, except with lovers, so it had been...dare she say, a fun experience. "A therapist-mechanic, that's quite a career choice, well, if you're as good a mechanic as a therapist, I know where I'll take my car if I have trouble," she offered, only a light passing reference to the fact she knew he was a good one. "Well, that's true, some people overdue it. When people don't know what you're talking about, that's a problem. I like that name, is there a meaning behind it?" She always liked hearing people's stories behind why their animals were named certain things. "Wow, that is decent-sized. I guess they're probably somewhere around here today too?"

"Nothing inspires trust among roommates quite like setting up cameras to catch them doing all of the things that they thought they were getting away with," he teased, broad smile on his face. He also couldn't see Leyla being too uptight about someone snacking during off hours… although people could be picky about their food. "When I'm not a therapist, I'm a mechanic -- in a garage full of men with big appetites. You learn how to get creative," especially if you didn't want your food to just up and disappear, and Josh didn't. His father, alone, wouldn't hesitate to eat his goodies. "Apparently we can be! I try not to be that kind of person, though -- I've already had conversations with people who are talking about 'my son' this or, 'my kid' that, and then it takes me far too long to realize they mean a dog. But mine's Toshiko. Toshi for short. And I hope, for your sake, you never have to part from the adopted dogs," he teased, letting out a laugh. "She has four kids, so a pretty decent sized family."

Leyla had lived alone before this in a New York apartment and saw very little reason to decorate for her eyes only. It just felt silly and not at all worth the effort. However, she wasn't alone this year. Decorating with Darrius gave her something to do that wasn't work, therapy, or...work. Despite herself, she actually found herself having fun. "They're...coming," she murmured as she checked back on her phone for reference before looking up and giving a little motion to move the side he was holding up a little. "Almost." She was a bit of a perfectionist, most probably wouldn't notice but it was uneven enough to bother her the entire season if she didn't say something. "Do you usually make these for this time of year?" She asked as she spread the pumpkin seeds a little more.

WHO: Darrius & @leyla-tehrani

WHERE: home on the coast

WHEN: September, 2023

The house was going to look good; it was Darrius's first major holiday living in a house where there was enough room to decorate, where he didn't have to worry about the dogs running into a tree in this corner or something taking up too much walking space. No, this year he had a house, a home, and most importantly, he had friends to decorate it with. Looking over at Leyla as he stretched up to attach one of the garland ends to the doorway, he nodded his head towards the tray of pumpkin seeds. "How are those coming? I've almost got this hung, I think, if it looks okay to you?"