Never Have I Fixed My Posture Quicker Than After Feeling A Sharp Pain In My Back...

hyperfixations are so goofy because is it currently consuming my every waking thought? absolutely. will i care in 2 weeks time? no.

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(Source)

me listening to Hamilton as study motivation

me because my friends think im hurting myself again but its genuinely just cat scratches this time but ive used that as an excuse too many times

Everything sucks and I am not okay.

Okay then. Try these things. (mainly for neurodivergent people but really its for anyone who has a problem but Doesn't Know What)

SHORT TERM- i feel bad right now and need immediate relief

Get off your phone. Seriously

Drink a glass of water

Eat something with protein

Shower if you haven't already

Brush your teeth

Tidy your space a bit

Open a window and stretch your legs or go outside on a walk if you can

Say something nice to someone

Put on some music. Something relatively happy

Hug a living being (pet, sibling, parent, etc)

Change clothes or feel a nice texture or listen to some 8D music. Sometimes its a sensory thing

Get something small done. Reply to an email or something

Do something creative. Draw, write, sing, whatever

Learn some cool new information

Talk to someone. Phone a friend, talk to your parents, text someone, etc

Read a damn book (fanfic counts)

Sleep, or if you can't manage that, try to relax or meditate for 5 or 10 mins

If you have over excerted yourself physically mentally or emotionally, gove yourself a break.

LONG TERM - ive been feeling bad for a while and want to get a bit better overall

Try to talk to someone about life generally. You might just figure it out

Stop making suicide jokes. Yes, that includes ironically saying "i want to die" at any minor inconvenience. for me, this was changing it to "im going to commit a war crime" or "I'm going to buy a completely unnecessary amount of clothes". Be ridiculous with it. Keep the comedic value.

Stop being self depricating. Failed a maths test? "oh im just really bad at maths" turns to "my maths skills are unmatched. im a genius" it can be sarcastic. then youll get used to complimenting yourself and will do it unironically out of habit

Change something. For me this was cutting my hair. i felt out of control. i cut my hair because i couldn't do anything else. this could be joining a club, buying new clothes, dying your hair, choosing a new perfume or deodorant. Anything that makes you feel in control

I might add more to the long term list in the future but this is it for now. You will get better, the silly little guy on the internet believes in you <3

In the first verse its him being hopelessly in love. I specifically used the phrase "You were mine" over and over in reference to the signing of all their letters between each other with "yrs" and the last one was signed "yrs forever" and he sent it a day before Laurens died so we dont know if he even got it. Never getting over that. Then we have the classic homophobic dad, shattering his manic pixie girl dreams (he wanted to live in a cottage in the woods with Alex and 17 cats). Then the next verse is about how helpless he made him feel (reference) and you know when you like someone and its all wobbly and they consume your every waking thought and they can send you spiraling with a glance. Yeah that. Then "trying to find an explanation for every line" is him panicking because what if people find out? How will I make them think we were just guys being bros when its so painfully obvious I loved him? Are we throwing away our shot (reference) at making the history books with this relationship? Is it worth it? Then he realises that history has its ways of doing that for them, somewhere along the line it'll get twisted and our relationship will be called platonic. Then he's wondering if he really wants that? It's dangerous to pretend. It's just not true. Homophobic dad part 2 when he finds the letters. [Enter homophobic dog meme: I know what you are] Now he turns on Alex, he says Alex doesn't care for their legacy, Laurens worries for their impact on history which he might not get to make if this gets out. "they will erase us from the narrative" and Laurens being glad they will, and then the repeated phrase "the war never ended". this bit is important because it has a double meaning. 1: When the war ended, he died straight after, so yes, for him the war never ended it pretty much carried on to the end of his life. 2: His inner battles/war over his relationship w Hamilton and all the other internal stuff, which is what the song is about. This is followed up by the realisation that the world has no right to know about their personal lives, basically. Then the final decision to keep the memories. The last line is a quiet "i hope they dont burn" in reference to the letters/memories.

Oof thats a lot. okay i hope you enjoyed

Burn (Laurens' version)

I saved every letter you wrote me

From the moment I read them,

I knew you were mine

You said you were mine

You really were mine

Do you know what my father said

When I ripped your first letter open?

He said, "Be careful with that one, son

I don't see a point in you hoping,"

You and your words flooded my senses.

Your sentences left me defenseless

You ruined palaces with your paragraphs

You wrecked cathedrals

I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me

Trying to find an explanation for every line

Each word is a sign

You really were mine

The world could just burn

Burn

They'll destroy all the letters I wrote you

They'll fool the whole world into thinking that we were just friends

A dangerous game

They have hidden our lives.

Do you know what my father said

When he found the letters in file

He said, "In all your affections,

He is making you more than just smile,"

You and your words,

No care for our legacy

Your sentences border on senseless

And I am made paranoid by every paragraph

How will they perceive you?

You, you, you

They will erase us from the narrative

Let future historians wonder,

What happened to Laurens?

When the war ended

The war never ended

I watch my heart burn

Watching it burn

The world has no right to my heart

The world cannot see in my head

They don't get to know what I said

They're burning the memories

Burning the letters

That might have exposed you

I wish you could stay in my heart

You won't leave your place in my head

I'll love you in silence instead

I'm keeping the memories of when you were mine

I hope they don't burn

So this is a rewrite of Burn from Hamilton in the perspective of John Laurens because they were gay. Idk what else to say tbh. ill post an analysis of it later if i can be bothered

I don't speak Portuguese 😭 same difference ig

also ALL FIVES??

(translation: blinks at the bastard and crawls up the wall on all fives)

Hallo its @iloverocks51 your bestie westie, I'm just here to say hi and bye. Tchau minha adorável besteira favorita *pisca timidamente e corre de fora de quatro*

☆〜（ゝ。∂）

omg hi dude not the Portuguese (translation: Bye my favorite adorable bestie *blinks shyly and runs outside on all fours*)

@iloverocks51 and @cottagecoretree.....

“man i’m glad none of my irl friends can see the shit i post on tumblr”

then i remember

the one

"Am i worthy of this thing?" "Do i deserve it?"

So irrelevant.

Do you want it?

i love my mutuals because we never talk but we still… like… follow each other……….. and i admire that we stick together even tho there is no communication in the slightest………u kno what i mean… hello…