Tips For Working With Children?

Tips for working with children?

1. Don't lie to them if you can avoid it. Water down truths at your discretion, but if you try to lie outright, a good number of them are probably going to pick up on your weird energy and figure you're hiding something. This will very likely come off as "adult who doesn't think we're real people", which is how you promote rebellion.

2. Listen to the problems they come to you with. Imagine they were your problems. If Brůnden at work stole all your pens and ignored your requests to leave you be, you'd be pretty pissed if your manager told you to "just use your nice words" or "let him get bored". Decide what you would want an adult to do, and form a reasonable response.

3. Let some of your weird (child appropriate) interests show. Odds are, when they see your passion, they'll take interest. I accidentally wound up teaching an intro to animal biology to a group of first graders in my after school program this way, and it became what they knew me for. Great for bonding, teaching, and bartering for completed chores.

4. Learn about things they're interested in, but don't force it into things. It'll help you understand what you overhear, and pitch in at the right moment.

5. Treats and stickers. They work on adults, and they work on kids. Make them take a little bit of effort to earn, but also pick special occasions where everyone gets one free. Once you get a better idea of their personalities, lives, strengths, and weaknesses, you can tailor this for personal growth.

6. Acknowledge their feelings. Verbally affirm that they are upset, they are frustrated, they are angry or sad, and encourage them to explain why, and work to find acceptable solutions. Staying perfectly calm and happy while they're angry might help to a point, but ignoring their obvious feelings will make them feel that you don't care or understand, which will make things worse. A lot of kids have a hard time figuring out how adults feel, and why, so empathy will need to be clearer.

7. Play with them on their own level. When you play a game they started on their own, follow their rules, and if you can't, explain why. Expect a few of them to try and mess with you. You're not as distant or alien if you can fall for the same things they do, or admit when you've been outsmarted or outclassed. Be aware that some rules may change at random, and don't go all out on winning.

8. Be honest in ways other adults won't be. When telling a personal story, mention offhand that you didn't like someone, or someone was mean for no reason, or another adult was rude or broke rules, they'll see that you think and feel in similar ways as them, and it can reinforce that yeah, sometimes life is unfair, no, growing up doesn't numb your personality, and no, you don't have to feel happy and positive and pleasant all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and you need to handle it maturely. It's acting on bad feelings that's bad, not the bad feelings themselves. And hey, sometimes adults ARE mean or rude or wrong! They're not crazy or dumb when they notice!

9. Literally just be yourself. Curb any cursing or inappropriate subject matter, but otherwise, they'll recognize that you're an individual with your own personality, and either they'll like you or they won't. Either way, they'll decide how to act from there. Kids are mostly just distilled adults with social restrictions, they can adapt to a lot.

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Resources For Describing Characters

Physical Appearance

Arms

Athletic Build

Back

Butts

Cheeks

Chest

Chins

Curvy Build

Ears

Eyebrows

Eyes

Faces

Facial Hair

Feet

Fingernails

Fingers

Hair

Hands

Head

Hips

Jaws

Knees

Legs

Lips

Muscular Build

Neck

Noses

Shoulders

Slender Build

Sickly Build

Skin

Stocky Build

Stomach

Teeth

Toenails

Toes

Underweight Build

Character Traits

Affectionate

Ambitious

Bossy

Brave

Calm

Cautious

Charismatic

Clever

Conceited

Courageous

Creative

Critical

Curious

Determined

Diplomatic

Dishonest

Disorganized

Eccentric

Excitable

Friendly

Funny

Generous

Glamorous

Guarded

Honest

Impulsive

Independent

Intelligent

Just

Kind

Loyal

Manipulative

Mature

Modest

Mysterious

Naïve

Optimistic

Prejudiced

Persistent

Proper

Responsible

Sensitive

Sentimental

Serious

Shy

Reckless

Stingy

Stubborn

Talented

Thoughtful

Thrifty

Visionary

Wise

Witty

Worry Wart

Wounded

Talents & Skills

A Knack for Languages

A Knack for Making Money

A Way with Animals

Archery

Astral Projection

Astrological Divination

Baking

Basic First Aid

Blending In

Carpentry

Charm

ESP (Clairvoyance)

Empathy

Enhanced Hearing

Enhanced Sense of Smell

Enhanced Taste Buds

Farming

Fishing

Foraging

Gaining the Trust of Others

Gaming

Gardening

Good Listening Skills

Haggling

Herbalism

Hospitality

Hot-Wiring a Car

High Pain Tolerance

Knife Throwing

Knowledge of Explosives

Lip-Reading

Lying

Making People Laugh

Mechanically Inclined

Mentalism

Mimicking

Multitasking

Musicality

Organization

Parkour

Photographic Memory

Predicting the Weather

Promotion

Psychokinesis

Reading People

Regeneration

Repurposing

Sculpting

Self-Defense

Sewing

Sharpshooting

Sleight-of-Hand

Strategic Thinking

Strong Breath Control

Super Strength

Survival Skills

Swift-footedness

Talking With The Dead

Throwing One’s Voice

Whittling

Wilderness Navigation

Wrestling

Elemental Abilities

Miscellaneous

Voices

Voice Types

Speech Patterns

Speech Impediment

List of Character Flaws

List of Archetypes

Hairstyles

Describing Body Types & How They Move Around

Secrets To Give Your Character

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Questions to ask yourself when writing an Autistic character

In media, canonically autistic characters are commonly portrayed as false stereotypes about autism, or they convey false/outdated information.

For anyone writing an autistic character, there should be many questions to ask about that character. As someone who has ASD, I really like to see well written autistic characters. Here I have compiled some questions that I use when starting a new character. I have also included links on terms that may be unfamiliar for those just starting out. This list is just a handful of questions, so make sure to continue researching.

General

1. How and/or when were they diagnosed as Autistic?

2. Do they view their autism as a disability? Why or why not?

3. What are some things they like and/or dislike about being autistic?

Support Needs

4. What are their support needs?

5. Do they struggle with executive dysfunction?

6. What kind of tasks are difficult for them?

7. What kind of tasks are they really good at?

8. What kind of accommodations do they have? (Specifically in a school or work environment)

Communication

9. What are their speech habits? Are they fully-verbal, semi-verbal, non-verbal, or does it vary?

10. Do they use echolalia and/or palilalia to communicate?

11. Do they use echopraxia to communicate?

12. Do they use AAC to communicate? If so, which type(s)?

Associated Conditions

13. Do they have/struggle with any kind of agnosia(s)?

14. Do they have/struggle with Alexithymia?

15. Do they have any other common or associated conditions?

Sensory and Stimming

16. Are they a sensory-seeker or sensory-avoidant?

17. What sensations do they like?

18. What sensations do they hate?

19. Describe a place that would be sensory-heaven for this character

20. Describe a place that would be sensory-hell for this character

21. What do they do to stim? Favorite stims? Least favorite stims?

22. Do they use echolalia, echopraxia, etc. for stimming?

Overload, Meltdown, Shutdown & Burnout

23. What puts this character into sensory overload?

24. What are meltdowns like for them? (What are signs a meltdown is starting? Do they seek or avoid comfort? How do they recover?)

25. What are shutdowns* like for them? (What are signs a shutdown is starting? Do they seek or avoid comfort? How do they recover?)

26. What is autistic burnout like for them? (What are signs burnout is coming? How long does it last? What kinds of support do they need? How do they recover?)

Special Interests

27. What are their special interests?

28. What kinds of topics can they infodump about?

Social

29. Does their family know? Are they supportive?

30. Do their friends know? Are they supportive?

31. What aspects of socializing are hard for them?

32. Are they very aware of their social difficulties (i.e. anxious and shy about socializing in fear of messing up) or are they less sensitive to their difficulties (i.e. unafraid/unaware of social mistakes, feels no anxiety to socialize)

*This link should take you to a playlist of videos that covers a lot of the topics talked about in this list. I highly recommend watching them!

Thank you for sticking it out to the end. I hope this helps!

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