Annalisechambersx​:

xbhandri​:

@le0davis​

“Okay but listen. Hear me out. The stage lights pop on. We’re standing in a line. The piano starts playing. Everyone immediately gets emotional. Suddenly everyone knows how many minutes are in a year. Is it stable? No. It’s New York City in the 1980′s during the AIDs epidemic. We’re here. We’re queer. We’re dying and Regan isn’t doing shit about it. You know what will fix approximately none of our problems? Love.” Xavier had found out they were reviving RENT again and he would throw Wicked down the drain if he could land a roll. He was nearing the end of his contract anyway. He could just switch from one to another, right? He had only been on the stage for a handful of years, and while Fiyero have him everything he could ever want, the roll while main wasn’t big. He wanted more. He wanted more meaning. 

A scarecrow was all find and dandy, but it wasn’t the love of his life, the dream role. Angel Dumott Schunard. He still didn’t know if she was a trans woman, a drag queen, or genderfluid, but to dress up as Mrs Claus and prance around a stage, only to die in the most emotional Broadway death known to man? He could still remember the first time he saw the musical and how it had changed his whole damn life. 

“Leo, it’s not stable, but nothing in life is. Do you want your baby thinking her dad is lame? Those who can’t act teach. Audition with me.”

-

Leo’s mouth opened in the middle of Xavier’s spiel. He so clearly saw the cast in a line singing ... Seasons of Love straight out into the audtence. The two friends had confinded in each other that their dream roles were in RENT. A show that was in the pre-production of returing back to broadway. He understood that to Xav that it was an oppurtunity that must be taken. But Leo wasn’t as starry eyed. 

“Don’t bring Mira into this.” He said, becoming slightly defensive at the mention of his daughter. Though that was chord that needed to be struck. Leo actually heard what Xavier meant. Being an acting coach was always supposed to be temporary. Something to do until he had gotten a break. But it took over, he began auditioning less to not at all. He fell into his own hell of repeating the same day over and over. So much so that he became a regular at a bar, and developed a dependency on alcohol and sex just to get through a Monday. This wasn’t how life was supposed to be. This isn’t the spotlight he was meant for. He sat there unaware of the spark that was growing in his chest.

His eyes still looking at his best friend incredulously. “I - Xav - you can’t really truly think that I’d ever be good enough to get Roger.” He was scared.  It was a huge leap into auditioning. Maybe he could start off small in non-speaking roles. He didn’t want to take that risk of auditioning for a role he had always coveted. He wasn’t as brave as Xavier. “You are no doubt in my mind are going to get Angel. Just gotta practice the drums. I, on the other hand, am gonna get laughed out at the door with no credits to my name.”

just for your information, i always get what i want

What was the most embarrassing thing that you’ve done for a friend?

"I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure it was for Xav."

@xbhandri

krosxn​:

“You’re a fucking disaster.” As much as he loved his friend, and he truly did, he didn’t think he was wrong either. He’d stand by Leo even when he was wrong, which he probably often was. “You underestimate my ability to press charges,” he walked away to get him water before returning, ruffling his hair. Chaotic energy just happened to find Katz, as if he didn’t attract it himself. 

-

Leo rolled his eyes as Katz’ badmouthed him, he didn’t take it seriously at all, and knew his friend didn’t mean it maliciously. he loved the chaotic vibe they created as it was brought his drunk ass to Katz’ home. Though there was an absence of his other friend which happened to be Katz’ ex. Leo laughed at Katz response to his empty threat. “You know that’s something Oli would totally say.” Leo said, forgetting that talking about ex-husbands were off limits in polite, civil conversations. 

blakemadden​:

“Okay…” Blake murmured under her breath because she knew what his questions were referring to, not to mention his tone which was full of shock, to put it nicely. Her hand remained on her stomach as he looked down at it, glancing around the train carriage but no one was listening to them. The members of New York were all entirely in the own world, thank god because this was embarrassing enough just between herself and Leo, the baker didn’t really want anyone else to be viewing it. The issue was the train was hurtling through a tunnel meaning she had no way of getting off, and even if she could it was unlikely Blake could move fast enough to stop Leo from being able to easily catch up with her in a second. “Oh I’m just going uptown to see a friend.” Pretending his why was a question about why she was on the metro…which they both knew it wasn’t. “So…yeah…just…heading there.” She shifted from one foot to the other, trying to work out how to play this one.

-

Leo had no care for their surroundings his mind wrapped around all the possibilities and she wasn’t speaking or giving him answers. Why is she the one surprised? When her reply was straight bullshit and nonsense, he was done playing this game. “Don’t-don’t that, don’t play dumb right now, Blake-- don’t do this to me.” Leo spat out through gritted teeth. His adam’s apple visibly tightening in his throat. His mood immediately lunged into anger. How could she play at a time like this? His life as he knew it was on the line. He spared a thought for his wife which caused his hand to grip around her bicep, holding her close and firmly with his fingers overlapping. “What is that? And is it mine?!” His voice not only rising in volume but in vemon. It was like a fuse had been lit and he was ready to set off even more.

renfarber​:

She could physically feel his eyes on her, so that two feet away still felt impossibly close. It was the way he’d looked at her for a thousand lifetimes, and she would never get used to the way it burned her skin. She wondered if he felt it too, as her eyes traveled over the face she’d long since memorized.

There was so much they needed to talk about, but everything they said felt like throwing knives. Even if one didn’t land a blow, all they were doing was giving each other ammunition. She knew the latter was true about the words on the tip of her tongue. His ego would soak them up like so much whiskey, but she filled both of their empty glasses and then spoke them anyway.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you. Not… not seriously, I mean. There have been hookups, obviously, and flings, I guess, but… nothing more than that. Blake noticed it, years ago, and asked me why, so I told her about… my first love. And how I’d never felt anything so intensely in my life, and how overwhelming it was for me then. And how I purposely fucked it up because it scared me so much.” She avoided his eyes, absentmindedly (nervously) tapping her glass. 

“I didn’t tell her your name, which was obviously a mistake in hindsight, but… I did tell her you had the only key to my lock,” she said, letting out a small humorless laugh, taking a sip of her drink. “Just in case you wondered how much she knows.”

-

He didn’t know if he should be relieved that she had just ended their little spat by pouring whiskey. either way he hadn’t felt so present in a moment than he’s ever had than when he was with her. always an electric current in the air, whether it was a spark or flaming fire. he took his heavy bottom glass back to his lips for a sip when she had spoke again. the topic change at hand made him take another long sip before she had him hanging on every word. it was like being let into her diary. he found himself surprised that she hadn’t taken a chance on anyone else, and that he was being labeled as her first love. serenity was his and only, despite what he believed he claimed on his wedding day. Though another sentence that left her lips made him more perplexed. 

“Is that why you did it…?” His voice trailing off as his head couldn’t help but recall the past. He remembered the night she told him. But every word or explanation had she given him had just went one ear and out the other. He didn’t want to hear it, and he had thanked that defense mechanism many times. One of his many toxic traits was believing that being stubborn was a great thing. It was always easier for the orphan to walk through life with his guard. Had he heard this reasoning then, he wouldn’t be as receptive as he was now. Though the booze might have helped. “You were too scared to...” he paused looking at the counter again as he figured how to word the reasoning she had given him. “...love me?” He said lifting his head and eyes back to her. He still wasn’t even too sure if that was the right wording. “So you decided to hurt me in the worst way possible to end it?” These words flowed out without any malice. Just the string of these specific words trailing one another made it seem harsh. Leo’s face was soft as he tried to analyze it in a way that only a broken man could do. That there was something the matter with him. He reached his hand out to wrap around the glass once more.

renfarber​:

He smiled at her, and she was twenty-one again, and the guilt that she’d been suppressing broke through. Before him, she’d never believed that she had the power to hurt anyone. She’d known that Leo loved her, but she hadn’t known how much, until she watched as his heart shattered in her hands. She hadn’t wanted that power ever again, so she’d never let anybody else that close.

And so, “Fuck no,” was her response to his question. It was automatic, instinctual, and she had no time to think better of it before the words were out of her mouth. “I mean… I’m happy that you’re happy, but it’s just not… for me, I don’t think,” she said, looking down at her hands and wondering how much was too much to say. “I do have a kid, though, so… that’s weird.”

-

Leo’s eyes widened slightly at her response. He had once objected to the idea of marriage just as strongly as she did. Especially after things ended with Serenity all those years ago. But meeting his wife made him see how beneficial life with a partner could be. Happy, though? He forced a nod, agreeing with her that he was happy. That’s how a marriage was suppose to be. Or appear to be. 

“A kid?” He questioned, his voice chiming too loud with surprise. “Like a whole person that you grew inside you and then…” he gulped thinking about delivering a baby and then being stuck with it. “That is weird. You’re a mom now.” He agreed and then began to mess with his popcorn bucket. not having the appetite for the snack. This was a lot to learn. There was a child out there that was hers. He bit his lip as he looked at her and tried to picture it. But the only thing his mind went to was who was the man that shared half of her son with. “Your boyfriend’s the father; I’m assuming?”

text; leo ⇄ danny

danny: Whoa

danny: Did she tell u this?

leo: AS THE BABY WAS LEAVING HER BODY MAN

leo: I'm a dad, she has my hair

astral-silk​:

closed starter to @le0davis​ location: dive bar on 9th

There was a certain tension to the expression she held as she practically stormed into the bar, as if she might turn into torrential downpour at the slightest twitch out of deadpan. Sometimes life just felt so frustrating and impossible. Like she was constantly swimming upstream and wasn’t going anywhere. Some days it was easier to handle, to stay focused and keep that dream alive she’d held since she was a child. Other days it felt like this—chaos in her head. Like she wanted to scream in the streets; ask all of New York why she just wasn’t good enough. 

It’d started from the moment she’d woken up. Late to class because she was late to wake up and had to commute from the Bronx into Manhattan because she was too poor to live down by NYU. The perpetual underlining of every experience; an emphasis she could never escape. It made every bad day even worse. And then to top it off, by the time classes were over and she’d rushed to get to NASA, a taxi driver had splattered dirty snow water all over her. That not only earned her some extremely judgmental looks from all the astrophysicists, but also had her pulled into a meeting with her boss. The boss that she’d been sleeping with to even have her internship spot—not that it was that big of a deal outside of the quid pro quo. She was actually attracted to them, all things considered. But the least they could do was understand she hadn’t intended to show up covered in mud—she just didn’t have time to go home and change. After twenty minutes of being spoken down to, the rest of her shift continued in similar fashion. It was like she just couldn’t get it right. Nothing she did, all day long. The last straw was being yelled at by one of her coworkers for interrupting him, to give him the seltzer water he’d asked for. 

That’s what landed her here, cheeks flushed with anger but unable to express any of it. She was negative in her cashapp—how the hell did that even happen? But at least she had some quarters in her wallet. “What can I get you?” the bartender asked. “A shot,” she responded, painfully obvious she wasn’t much of a drinker. She really wasn’t supposed to drink—the doctors said it was bad to drink on steroids and her nephritis wouldn’t take kindly to it. She didn’t care. She was frustrated. “Um…” she paused. “Vod…ka?” it came out like a question, like she was unsure of herself that vodka was even a spirit. And then slid her handful of quarters the bartender’s way. “Will this be enough?” She couldn’t even feel the embarrassment of it anymore with how exhausted she was from the day.

-

Leo’s index finger and thumb appiled pressure to his throbbing temple. today was one of those days where he couldn’t escape from his wife’s attempt to communicate with him. though he couldn’t blame his wife for the silly game of twenty-one questions about his feelings. no, that blame belonged to his therapist. he rubbed his eyes now, with elbows propped on the bar. why on earth was it so important to know what he was thinking about? he’ll never understand nor did he want to. he felt like he was exisiting and trying his best. how was that not enough? he let out a groan and pulled his hands away from his face to find the bartender freshening up his drink.

after some proper nursing of whiskey on the rocks, leo was feeling a lot better. he was buzzed. completely radiating with false energy that was just his heart stressing under the poison of his vice. leo offen people watched when he was this phase. his spotlight now shone on the tall, raven haired woman who sat adjacent to him. he watched her in silence, pinching his cold glass in his dominant hand. he took a drink just as the bartender had spoken to her. he almost laughed; his mouth curving around the glass as he sipped his drink. it was the most amusing order he’s heard since someone ordering a slippery nipple. 

Leo couldn’t help but insert himself, eyeing the mix of dirty and shiny quarters in her palm. He let out a low whistle. “Looks like we know where all the missing coins went.” He said, referencing the national coin shortage. Him making a joke, really kept him from sympathizing with her at first. He had been there once before. He couldn’t even afford a bagel with a proper smear when his career was going down the drain. “That’s not enough if you want to numb up whatever you’re feeling.” His tone still coated in smugness. His brown eyes read her face some more as he leaned back in his seat. His gaze shifted to the bartender. “I’ll cover the rest. Give her a triple and a water.” The bartender looked over at her for confirmation, as the amount of quarters she had presented them was barely enough for one shot. 

I’m the worst kind of monster: the kind that comes with a pretty face, a cold heart, and a reason to be that way.

(via vindictadulcis)