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PENN BADGLEY 📷 ICON Magazine

heart: randomly starts beating faster me: what is it what do you see

bcllet​:

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑   ―    @le0davis​

      camila really didn’t have the right mind for an acting class today, but a) she didn’t want to bail on leo, since she also liked to spend time with him and b) she did need the coaching. especially now, where the ballerina didn’t know what her career would look like in a few months, she needed to take everything that she currently got. even an acting class   ―    because maybe she’d never dance on a stage again, but at least for a camera.

      ❝ fuck.  ❞ she cursed under her breath, one hand running through her already disheveled hair as she looked down at the script she was supposed to work with today.  ❝ sorry, leo  ―  can we try that again ?  ❞

      acting was definitely not her best talent, but she also didn’t suck at it. today, however, it looked like she just made a fool out of herself. camila was surprised that he even had managed to keep up with her so far.

      once more, she took a deep breath, repeating the line she had to say in her head as she was facing leo. it was simple, just a break-up scenario, where she had to put all her emotions into. but before she could even snap back into her role, camila cursed like crazy again, already giving up because in a sense, she saw herself too much in this, and she didn’t just consider this acting more. but she knew she had to put her personal differences aside. ❝  fuck, seriously    ―   i don’t know how. can’t you practice that line with me, so i can see how it’s done ? feel free to break up with me.  ❞  at least there was still some sense of humor within the petite woman left as she let out a soft laughter at her own comment . 

-

leo was focused. he had always completely thrown himself into classes. it was the only thing in the world that he had that was purely his. correction, only thing in the world that was close enough to what he wanted the most. but his dedication to it would not falter. he stood there with dark circles under his eyes, managing to push through the ache in his skull in order to work with camila. 

“I’m saying we see how it goes later on..” he recited, looking at his scene partner. he swallowed, wanting this to be over. this scene had a conscience that leo didn’t have. noah was selfless, moving himself out of the way so his love would have a better future. leo on the other hand was in short, not selfless. but it was the good scene for her to exercise her ability to run a scene at high emotion. he was working with her to broaden her range. when camila didn’t deliver her line correctly, he repeated himself at her prompt. this time he did it with bits of soft inflictions his voice. he wanted to bring her back into the scene with him. a scene of two young lovers who were being torn apart by summer’s cruel end, or in better words: life’s social classes. they were finally at the moment that allie realized that noah was breaking up with her. 

when camila failed to deliver her line again, leo hung his head forward and back dramatically. though he did as some playful way to dig at her, but it was also turned out to be a great neck stretch. “I can do that, but that’ll be useless if I can’t find out what’s keeping you from staying in the scene.” he said, with knuckles tapping on his his script. “you stop right before you get to slap me around. usually people can’t wait for that kind of thing.” he said, humorously before becoming serious again, “what’s going on? do we need workshop the emotions or the mannerisms?” he asked, really focused on the art from of acting. he didn’t see how it could be about the material. this breakup scene could be so upsetting but it from far from anything he had personally experienced.

Do you have a hobby?

self destruction 

Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg in YOU (2018- )

renfarber​:

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. There was no why. There was no reason. She’d had nine years to think of it (and many nights therein during which she thought of nothing else), and a couple of therapists thrown in, and all she’d learned was that she’d been scared. Of love, of being loved, of failure, of success… she’d just been terrified and overwhelmed by of all of it. 

“We were so young, Leo. And everyone was telling us that we couldn’t possibly be as sure about each other as we said we were. But I was sure. Even looking back now, I don’t see myself as some stupid kid who didn’t know what love was. I knew what it was, because we had it. It was real, and that was scary. I’ve never seen love work out well for anyone, so I guess I just… fucked it up. I wish I hadn’t.”

She winced slightly at his last words, as though physically struck by them, and was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t… decide to hurt you, that was never what I wanted. I know that I did, though, and I haven’t forgiven myself, so I can’t expect you to forgive me either. But… even if you hate me, we need to try to get along, right?”

-

He was completely enthralled by hearing the story of them from her perspective. Again an insight he never expected to have. She spoke of their love like some tangible and strong element. He had felt the same way. He was so sure of their love because he had been raised without it. Nothing had ever felt so potent or as sweet as his first taste of love with Serenity. He tried. Leo actively tried to fall in love like that again. He looked for the little things that made up Ren in other people. Vihana was actually someone he hadn’t expected. She was beautiful, kind, and took care of him. It was easy and simple because he never really was himself. Even now, she had no idea who he was. 

He groaned with a roll of his eyes. It wasn’t directed towards her. It was energy that he needed to push out. The whole situation they were in now compared to where they were years or even months ago was nothing like he had ever fantasized. He didn’t have the right to be tired of the ride that dipped and derailed from his choices. But he was. There was never a break unless he had numbed himself with his vices. He brought his elbows up on the table, he held his hands together and proceeded to tap his forehead on them. “Serenity,” he said, his eyes closed as he rested on his hands. “I don’t hate you. I can’t ever hate you. I just hate what you did. But I can’t exactly talk now, can I?” He questioned, lifting his head up to look at her once again. “I didn’t exactly get into the situation I am in now by being a good guy.” He said with the glint of calmed chaos in his dark eyes. He didn’t where his mood was going. The alcohol made his veins sting and his attention jump around. Though the weight of his problems just kept trying to follow behind him. He grabbed his glass again to get rid of it. “I’ll play nice if you will.” He said swirling the remaining contents in his glass.

annalisechambersx​:​

Annie really felt like she was living her best life in New York. Sure, she missed home and she missed her family, but New York just felt like the place for her. She loved her job, she loved her friends, she loved the day life and she really loved the night life. There was just something about walking around New York at night and seeing all the lights mixed with the hustle and bustle. It was exactly what she wanted.

A couple nights a week, after work, she would head out to a bar, just wanting to unwind a little and maybe meet some new people. She had no fear when it came to speaking to people. Which, really, was a dangerous thing considering she could very well get hurt doing that…but it hadn’t happened yet. So she was feeling confident it wouldn’t. Probably. When Annie approached the bar, the barmaid smiled warmly at her and got to work on her favorite drink, the Cosmopolitan. After a minute or so, she was passed the drink and a straw, and she was moving through the bar, her chocolate hues dancing around.

She just hung around for a bit, sipping idly on her drink when she spotted a man that appeared to be alone. That was sad. Annie didn’t like seeing that. She didn’t mind being alone. She believed that she was meant to be. But that wasn’t the case for everyone else. With her signature smile on her face, she crossed the room and the approached the man, her curls bouncing as she did so, “Have you ever had their wings here?” She asked, a little randomly, “I’m not much for chicken wings. But there’s something about them here.” She giggled quietly and shrugged, “Actually most of their food is pretty good now that I think about it…”

-

Fucking-tourist-implant, a sputter of thoughts left his head as he passed by some dude in a spankin new I Heart NY t-shirt. He didn’t know why that had bothered him too much on this particular evening. But as he got older, he grew to see just how crowded this edge of the east coast was. Yeah, that’s what it was, the city was becoming too saturated. his mood wasn’t sour because his mouth was dry, he told himself. he always downplayed how much he needed his vice even lying to himself. but he couldn’t lie that the world became a bit nicer when he sat in that stool with the cold sweat of his drink at his fingertips. 

it sipped slowly now, savoring how the taste had rose the hairs on neck and gave him the feeling of goosebumps. he was at his usual bar, truly in his own element tonight. he liked the people watching, the food for a bar was decent, and the bartender was great company when available. he was fine just as he was, just another typical night. 

“Uh—erm,” leo cleared his throat of his initial surprise. people didn’t usually approach him because he was always scowling. he could have sworn he had the same look he always did. but now he was surprised, meeting brown eyes far warmer than his own could ever be. he paused, wondering if he should even reply to this stranger’s sudden presence. he could easily let out a big gruff and walk off. but this was his spot. his brow quirked when she spoke about the other food items as if she had them. he, of course, had sampled the whole menu once. 

“Order what you want.” He shrugged then pinched his glass in his dominant hand. his gaze on the stranger was still cautious. his expression was not friendly nor rude. “But yeah, the food’s pretty good.”

Text !! Nate & Leo

Nate: If I said that I liked the last class would it be a compliment or really really creepy?

Nate: cause it's definitely not creepy!!

Nate: is it creepy that I started this conversation?

Nate: okay but forget it

Nate: sorry sorry sorry!

Nate: don't kick me out :(

Nate: I was just complimenting your teaching and acting abilities and nothing more!!

Leo: Is this your way of confessing your love for me?

Leo: You needa lay off whatever your vices are, kid, but I'll take this as a compliment.

closed starter: @giselesilvas​ location: dreaming of charity event, one of the restrooms 

Leo watched a woman leave the women’s restroom as he stood at a corner adjacent to it. He waited a beat, holding a near empty glass as if he was just some patient partner. It had been a few minutes since anyone had come or gone, so he took the opportunity. He waltz into the restroom, and it was quite notably the cleanest one he had ever been in. He looked around, admiring the fact that it even have a lounge area before the actual restroom part. He was happy with his choice to take over such a place to do his bidding. The men’s room wouldn’t have been as pristine in his opinion. Before he took another step, he locked the restroom from the inside, then placed his glass down on the table dressed in a bouquet of flowers.

He sat one of the fancy bathroom couches, testing out the cushion to get much more comfortable. He loosened the ribbon that was nestled in his dark curls at the back of his head. He let out a sigh as his face was finally revealed to the cool air. He looked at the black and gold leather lion mask in his hand. Embarrassingly, there was already a bit of sweat on his forehead, his body undeniably hot to burn off the amount of alcohol he had already consumed. It wasn’t his fault though. What was he suppose to do when someone kept on walking by with glasses filled with champagne? His last glass would be his last for the moment being, but that’s only because his mouth would be preoccupied with something else. 

From the inner pocket of his coat, Leo had pulled out a slim metal cigarette box and a lighter. He opened it and instantly the potent smell of the box’s contents hit his face. Skunky and earthy more than anything. Two rolled up joints for him which should be more than enough. Why was he about to get high at a charity ball that meant to help the children from becoming like him? One, he was practically dragged here. Two, he had to do something for him to enjoy himself. Three, why the fuck not? He grabbed a joint and lit it at his lips. He sucked and inhaled a nice even hit before exhaling with a chuckle.

closed starter: @blakemadden​ where: blake and reece’s apartment

Leonardo Anthony Davis has had the craziest week of his life, and it wasn’t yet through. This was not an event that he would soon forget like a drunken night at the dive bar on the ninth. No, this event will stick to him for life. It’s taken the foundations of the earth beneath him and what once felt like cement was now sand. He was in this forever. He was now a father.  A part of him will now survive in this world with or without him. 

“One pappardelle with arrabiata and burrata for Leo.” His order being read outloud to him for clarification went in one ear and out the other. He looked at the woman blankly, his head still lost in the thought that he was about to go see the mother of his child and his child while his wife was at work. “Are you okay?” The blonde woman asked. Leo shook his head and then did that charming thing where he smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I spaced out for a second. But yes, I’m Leo and that is my order.” He watched as the woman’s attitude towards him warmed up and she handed him the bag with his order. “You have a good night, Leo.” She said with more than polite smile. Leo smiled back and nodded a silent thanks before leaving The Soleil. 

But once back on his walk to Blake and Reece’s apartment, his thoughts came back again. This time they were centered around Serenity. He hadn’t seen her since Mira was welcomed into the world. Ah, then there was Mira, his little miracle--she’s the reason why nothing has been said because once Leo and Blake were in a room with her all they could do was dote on her. Crazy to think the new mom and dad hadn’t had a real conversation for days. But all that had to change. He took a breath before knocking on the door with his free hand.