Being On Tumblr Has Taught Me That Girls See Men's Hands The Same Way Men See Tits, Therefore From Now

MY s1 autistic hotch mood board

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

letting my wife kill me during sex does not make me a bottom or a sub. it simply means i love my wife

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb

"windows 11 upgrade ready!" "your computer is eligible for windows 11!" "download windows 11 now!"

sorry yeah ive got a bad case of Thinking About My Friends. im afraid its incurable. symptoms include happiness and love and wishes that they will have the life they want to live.

Jade can we get hotch and his daughter again I miss them!!!!!

You’ll confess to liking your father’s new apartment. It’s well-furnished and warm. It’s nothing like the house, though. You can hardly tell anyone lives here when you aren’t putting your laundry bag by the washer-dryer to go in next, the bedroom especially untouched. You suspect your father lives out of his wardrobe and go-bag, as it’s called. 

Different to the house. You’re always welcome. No strange silences pervade when you come knocking —if Aaron’s home, he opens the door already having pulled the chain lock down to let you in, and, despite his apparent stress and budding depression, he asks you what you need. 

How was school? How’s your studying coming along? Did you find a potential grad outfit yet? Did you need a check for that? 

It’s too much, sometimes, but not because you don’t want it. 

You hesitate at the door. From inside, you can hear the barest hum of the TV. Maybe he’s actually relaxing for once. Maybe you should leave poor Aaron alone. 

You’re selfish. “Dad?” you ask, letting some excitement colour your voice, “Hello! Are you napping?” 

It’s gotta be five quick seconds before the doors being pulled open. “Hey, sweetheart,” he croaks, all tired eyes and rumpled pajamas as he stands aside. You dodge his arm, laughing at his disgruntled groan. “You can go home if this is what I have to deal with.” 

You let him close the door and lock it before you turn back to him. “Tell me you weren’t just sleeping on the couch? I thought we had a few more years.” 

“I was asleep in bed.” 

“You got to the door super fast.” 

“I was getting up. We got home late,” —he drags a hand over his face— “and I didn’t sleep on the jet. Let me go get dressed and we’ll go for breakfast.” He checks his watch. “Uh, dinner.” 

“Or we could order in?” 

He sighs in relief. “Or we’ll order in. Good idea.” 

You don’t comment as he steps past you to the couch. You’ve missed your opportunity for a hug. It’s your own fault for dodging the first one. 

You slip out of your shoes and leave them neatly by the door, hanging your jacket on the hook, and your sweater on the back of the couch. He holds up a hand as you sit down on the couch and you take it for what it is, a beckoning to sit near enough for him to hold your shoulder. “Alright?” he asks, touching the side of your face with his knuckles briefly, before leaving you to your personal space. “You look tired. I don’t mean that unkindly. How have you been sleeping?”

“You’re the third person to tell me that today, but I don’t feel tired.” 

“Maybe you just need something to eat,” he says. “Pass me the phone, honey, I’ll call for us.” 

He calls. You listen to him talk. You love how polite he is to everyone and especially people who work jobs like you did. Despite his titles and expertise, he doesn’t condescend. He says thank you twice. And he orders all your favourites, so you have to give him double the credit for being observant. 

You slip a ways down into your seat and look Aaron over. To no one’s surprise, having a father who cares about you is easy work for the heart. Your life is changed. He’s good, and you like being around him, but it’s a funny thing to look at this man you’ve known for a year and to know you love him. He really is everything you ever wanted, as a kid. He isn’t picking you up from sleepovers or rubbing your back when you cry, but you’re sure he’d do both of those things if asked. You like that you can come here without asking. You like that he doesn’t care why.

He doesn’t look young, exactly, but he doesn’t look quite old enough yet to have a daughter your age. He could be a coworker. The thought makes you huff. 

“What?” he asks, already smiling. 

“Just thinking about something.” 

“About what?” 

“You’re not as young as you look.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Right, right, I forget that you come here to insult me. You know, Jack told me I was getting more ‘crinkles’ the other day.” 

“Kids say the darndest things,” you tease lightly. 

“I’m not old.” 

“I said you’re not as young as you look, that means you’re doing well.” 

“I think I look right for my age,” he says contritely, but grinning, tipping his head back against a cushion. “It’s good to look your age. It’s a privilege to be old.” 

“I thought you weren’t.” 

“I’m not. I’m just saying… I’m lucky to be here still,” he says, giving you a nudge, “or I wouldn’t know my girl, would I?” 

“And sappy in your old age.” 

“Mm.” He grabs the remote, turning the TV onto a movie channel and upping the volume. “Unfortunately.” 

You turn into him and let your knees touch. You watch TV waiting for your dinner to arrive in companionable silence, not tired but worn, not bored but somehow restless. You wonder if wanting a hug off your dad when you haven’t had very many is wrong of you. But the thing is —is that he really feels like your dad. Just the way he talks to you cements it. Sometimes when you’re with him, you feel like a kid again.

When he touched the side of your face and told you that you looked tired, it felt like a compliment, somehow, the signals all crossed in your head, ‘cos it was nice to be cared for. 

“Dad?” you ask quietly. 

Aaron turns his gaze to yours, not bothering to square away his joy at being called such a thing. “What, honey?” 

“Do you think… would it be really weird if I asked for a hug?” you ask shyly. Heat floods your cheeks and nose, but he doesn’t laugh. 

“Come here,” he says, sitting up a touch, arm extended for you to fold under. He wraps you in, lets you slouch into his touch just like Jack does in those slices of time after dinner and before bed. “Not weird. I mean, you’re a big girl,” —he laughs— “but I don’t think there’s an age limit.” 

“I know that. Just don’t know if you want to.” 

If he sees you wringing your fingers, he ignores it. “Why wouldn’t I want to?” He settles back on the couch, pulling you a little to make sure you go with him. Not like Jack laying bodily atop him, but still a nice hug. 

“Don’t know.” 

You both sort of know why. You’re old. You’re not supposed to want this stuff. You should find it too awkward and the time for affection has passed. And yet. 

He hums softly. “I love you, honey.” 

You know, but it’s nice to be told. “Yeah. Yeah, me too.” 

He doesn’t begrudge the way you put it, sinking again into the couch, his eyes looking heavy with some contentness, but mostly fatigue. “Don’t let me fall asleep before the food gets here,” he says.

“You got it, boss.” 

He gives your shoulder a rough, dad-like squeeze. You laugh and squirm away. After a few seconds apart, he shuffles you back toward him. 

“Is it hard?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“Finishing the year out. Getting ready for your exams. The bar. Is it stressing you out? You can be all caught up on sleep and still exhausted, I’d know.” 

“Yeah, it is. Yeah, but it’s just a few more months. I can do it.” 

“I know you can do it, baby,” he says, drawing your attention from the TV, “that's not in question.” 

His voice is soft like a strip of velvet. You’ve stopped being surprised at his propensity for gentleness, but you don’t always know what to do in the face of it. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asks. 

“Nothing. Just studying.” 

“Okay, so stay the night, the guest rooms calling your name, and tomorrow morning we’ll just study.” 

“Do you even remember–”

“Don’t insult me.” 

“It’s a lot.” 

“I remember. I used to drive Haley mad.” He goes quiet for a bit. Two or three seconds where you know he’s thinking about their separation. “But I couldn’t have done it without her. It’s hard work, committing it all to memory, we can make more flash cards.” 

“That would be nice.” 

“Not exactly helping you with your math homework.” 

“Are you any good at it?” 

“Math?” He laughs. “Not anymore.” 

“You forget all that stuff, right? I knew we would.” 

“Yeah, you do. I had to get rid of all that stuff to make room for work.” 

“Oh, so it was on purpose?” 

“I’ll ignore what you’re implying. I’m gonna eat all the poppadoms when they get here, but I’ll ignore it.” 

“Sick.” 

He shrugs. 

“I’ll tell Jack.” 

“Oh, don’t. If your brother knows we had butter chicken without him he’ll throw a fit.” 

“We can save him some.” 

Aaron lets his face rest on the back of the couch. “Good idea.” 

“Aaron, don’t sleep.” 

He grins. “I’m not. I’m resting my eyes.” 

Ridiculous. “Is it… Can you have Jack tomorrow?” 

“I don’t know. She doesn’t really like it that I’m only having him on the weekends. She says she gets all the hard parts and I have all the fun.” 

You don’t know what to say. “Well, I guess that’s kinda true.” 

“Yeah. Thing is, I can’t say sure, I’ll have him Sunday through to Wednesday because I never know if they’re gonna send me somewhere with the team. I can’t even confidently take him on the weekend. I can’t promise I’ll be here.” 

“I know.” 

He squints at you. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” You give him a rueful smile. “What are you sorry to me for?” 

“It’s not just Jack I’m letting down.” 

“You haven’t let me down,” you say, practicing some of his softness. “Maybe you have let Jack down, I don’t know, I’m not Jack, but so long as you’re trying to do well by him, I think that’s probably enough. You… you and Haley, you’re not sure what’s happening.” You don’t like telling him he and Haley have a happy ending, because everything he’s told you so far doesn’t agree, but you don’t wanna kick him while he’s down either. “It’s okay to need time to like, get things straight. You have the apartment, you have the guest room, you’re offering to have him when you can. You do have to make the effort, but you know that already.” 

“I know, but thanks, honey. You’ve listened to too much of my whining.” 

“You listen to me whine all the time.” 

He squeezes you to him. “I love listening to you.” 

“I don’t mind listening to you, either.” 

“The horrors of adulthood, listening to your deadbeat dad complain.” 

“Shut up, you’re not a deadbeat. You’re stressing me out.” 

“Sorry.” He rubs your arm again and lets you loose. “Oh, sweetheart, I got your snacks, if you’re hungry. They’re in the cabinet by the fridge.” 

“I can wait.” 

He sighs very deeply. You’re sure he’s gonna nod off, but he forces himself to stand. “Thank you for coming over. I couldn’t do this without you.” 

“What, the sad bachelor thing?” You giggle to yourself as he stands up. “Where are you going? I’m just kidding.” 

“I’m getting your snacks.” 

You turn on the couch to watch him. He unveils a bunch of your favourite things from the cabinet. You can see Jack’s fruit snacks, his yogurt covered raisins, and it gives you a chest ache thinking about Aaron all alone this weekend. “You know I do love you, right?” you ask carefully. 

He comes back, looking super tired but not so sad. “I know. I’m the luckiest man alive if I have you and your brother, you know that?” 

“Okay.” 

Aaron laughs, dropping your candies in your lap with a thunk. He got the big bag. “Okay. Tuck into those, and I’ll go see about your bother coming over tomorrow. Did you have pajamas in the laundry?”

“Uh…” 

“I’ll look.” 

You did not wanna get up. “Thanks!” you say, cracking open your bag of candy with a smile, missing the fond look he throws your way from behind. 

Another idea I have for Hades Hotch & Persephone Reader also has them blending in with humans with Hotch still being the Unit Chief and Reader being a botanist, but this time the rest of the BAU team are also Greek Gods.

Hotch and reader are the only ones who remember being gods, and like to discuss the others and whether they'll remember being gods too, and poke fun at the different relationships the team has compared to their old lives.

The gods I have in mind for each member are:

Reid — Athena

Morgan — Ares

JJ — Hera

Rossi — Zeus

Penelope — Hermes or Aphrodite

Emily — Artemis

You can change them if you think another Greek god fits them

Imposters | [A.H]

Pairing: Hades!Hotch x Persephone!reader | WC: 1.0k | CW: loss and longing, exile and punishment, kind of existential undertones, melancholic tone.

A/N: I changed Reid to Apollo based on a moodboard series that @h0tchnr made a few years ago.

The first time you and Aaron sat down for coffee after another day at the Quantico headquarters, it had been beneath a planter overflowing with marigolds and ivy. The symbolism wasn’t lost on you—bright blooms and creeping vines thriving in the shadow of the lord of the underworld. It was almost poetic, if not a little on the nose.

Mortals might have called it fate, but you knew better. Fate, as the Fates themselves would tell you, was rarely so subtle.

You cradled your mug in your hands, the warmth soothing against your skin, but your mind drifted. The gods may have been scattered, their power diminished, but remnants of their true selves clung stubbornly to their human forms. You saw it in the flash of Penelope’s dazzling smile, in Emily’s ferocity, in the way Derek strode into a room as if it were a battlefield waiting to be won.

“Do you think Morgan’s figured it out yet?” you asked, tearing your gaze from the window, where Derek and Penelope laughed together like soldiers who’d just won a great victory.

Aaron’s dark eyes followed yours, his expression as still and unreadable as the River Styx—oh, how you missed accompanying Charon on his boat occasionally. “Ares?” He took a slow sip of his coffee. “Not likely. He’s too busy trying to win over Aphrodite to notice why he’s so drawn to conflict.”

You couldn’t suppress a grin. “She’s entirely too charming for her own good. Then again, Aphrodite always was.”

“Charm has always been her weapon of choice,” Aaron replied, his voice low, almost reverent.

Your laughter filled the space between you, light and melodic. For a moment, it felt like you were back in another life, in another world. One where your throne was surrounded by endless fields of flowers, and his by the shadowed expanse of his realm. But this was the mortal world, where you were no longer Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, and he was no longer Hades, its ruler.

Still, you both remembered.

“She’s not the only one,” you mused, your gaze shifting to Spencer, who was absorbed in a book across the room. “Reid might piece it together eventually. Apollo’s curiosity will get the better of him. It always does.” Aaron chuckled quietly, a rare sound that felt like it was meant only for you. “Apollo always fancied himself all-knowing, but even he can be blind to the obvious. He’s human now, just like the rest of them.”

That was the cruelest truth of it all. The others didn’t remember. They lived their mortal lives, echoing their divine personalities, oblivious to the power and grandeur they once held. And you and Aaron? You sat in silence, watching it all unfold.

Your eyes drifted to Emily, standing apart from the others with her arms crossed, her gaze sharp and watchful. Artemis, goddess of the hunt, protector of maidens, and champion of independence. She carried herself with the same fierce grace she always had, though she was unaware of it now.

“Do you ever think we should tell them?” you asked softly, your words barely audible.

Aaron didn’t answer right away. Instead, he watched the others, his gaze lingering on Rossi—Zeus himself, laughing boisterously as though his thunder still rumbled—and JJ, her poised demeanor a quiet testament to her role as Hera.

“And what would that change?” he asked at last, his voice steady but tinged with the gravity of someone who had borne the weight of a throne. Who knew the issues it would cause. “We were exiled for a reason.”

You nodded, though the ache in your chest remained. Whatever crime led to the gods’ fall, it was severe enough to shatter Olympus and scatter its rulers among mortals. Now you lived among them, stripped of your divine power, haunted by memories of what once was.

Still, in the chaos of this second life, you’d found each other. As always. Aaron’s hand brushed against yours, his touch grounding you. “We have each other. That’s enough,” he murmured, his voice carrying the weight of an oath made long ago.

“For now,” you replied, your smile bittersweet.

But as you watched the others, their mortal facades wearing thin under the weight of their forgotten divinity, you couldn’t help but wonder: How much longer would they remain in the dark? And when they finally remembered, would the mortal world survive the return of the gods and their wrath?

The next time it happened, it was late afternoon. The sun hung low in the sky, casting shadows over the city streets. You and Aaron had taken a detour from your usual route home, walking past the row of shops where the scent of fresh bread mingled with the distant scent of fresh-cut grass.

Then you saw it—just for a split second, a dog running across the sidewalk, its movements eerily familiar. The way it barked and wagged its tail, the way its fur shone in the golden light. You froze.

Aaron noticed your stillness immediately, his eyes narrowing. “What is it?”

You blinked, but the image of that dog remained—its three heads swirling in your mind like a forgotten dream. Cerberus, once your companion, now reduced to this—an ordinary canine in a world where gods had no power.

Your heart sank. “Do you think we’ll ever find him?” you asked quietly, your voice trembling ever so slightly.

Aaron’s brow furrowed as he followed your gaze, the intensity of his thoughts mirrored in his eyes. He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, his thumb brushing over the fabric of your jacket. “I’m working on it,” he said, his voice steady despite the sadness in his gaze. “But a three-headed dog turned into a single-headed one is not so easy to track down. Especially when he doesn’t even know he’s ours anymore.”

You swallowed hard, the ache in your chest spreading. “He was always so loyal. To you. To us.” Cerberus had always been more than just a guardian. He had been a symbol of your connection to the Underworld—loyal, protective, and steadfast. He had been your first real friend when you had arrived in the underworld. And now, like everything else, he was lost.

“We’ll find him,” Aaron promised, his voice carrying the weight of the oaths he’d made. “We always do.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and nodded again. Maybe the gods had been cast down, but you and Aaron—Persephone and Hades—would never stop searching for the ones you’d lost.