Please Reblog, I’m Trying To Make Up A God

One thing I don't see talked about is the scene in ep. 3 season 2 when Aziraphale and Crowley are talking to the doctor, and how the doctor is describing how the malignant tumor Aziraphale was holding came from a boy who died. And clearly this entire episode is a pivotal moment in Aziraphales development, but that particular scene is so important to me. How Aziraphale hugs the jar closer, and the look of remorse and grief on his face.

(this!!!)

Throughout the series Aziraphales been shown to care a lot about humanity, but to me it's always been a sort of obligation thing. Like oh yeah I'm an angel it's in my job description to care about you weirdos. And it's been shown that Aziraphale clearly cares about human history and achievements and all that, or else he wouldn't have tried half as much to save the world. But up until this point it's always felt a bit impersonal. During the flood, he doesn't fret as much over the humans as Crowley does. I'm sure he was concerned and felt sorry for them, but he doesn't really know what to say about it, because its Gods will. At the time, God's will triumphed over everything, even his love for humanity. Which to me is why he seems a bit cold to the poor in Edinburgh in 1827, because to him God has given them everything they need to live a good life, they simply made the wrong choices.

And that's a philosophy I feel can come off as very dismissive or apathetic, but it's clear that Aziraphale is neither of those things. He still feels bad, and genuinely tries to make a difference by giving advice to the grave robber and trying to stop her from making more poor decisions, his way of trying to help or "save" her while still adhering to God's will. ("An angel who tries to go along with Heaven as long as he can." Or something like that) But with the doctor and Crowleys clever input, his eyes are kinda opened. Or at least he realizes some stuff. And at that moment, when he's holding the jar, I feel like he's kind of realizing that that was a real, human life. Not just a tumor, or some illegal deal, or a hunk of flesh. That tumor had been part of a very alive little boy with all of the potential to be good, just for that to taken away by a very mortal thing. And with that I think he starts to understand a little more the helplessness that comes with being human, and the bad things that are sometimes necessary to preserve what is good. (the research using stolen bodies/organs)

While yes technically God did give people all they need to be good, with the cards dealt just by life, you can't always just be good. For Aziraphale this is kinda where the fact that God doesn't care/not everything is under Her control is brought to light. All these realizations that have been developing for a while coming to a head in this one moment is why I think we see Aziraphale be so sympathetic and caring over the jar, ex: pulling it closer to his chest and zoning out of the conversation for a sec. Also the natural care of being an angel.

Not sure I can describe the devastation of realizing you will never fluently learn your native language and actively contributing to the death of it

i hate what diet culture has done to ethnic food my ancestors (my GRANDPARENTS) ate rice and injera and bread and coffee all the time and they turned out fine. i hate white people

I think at my core I'm a haribo twin snake gummy worm floating in the vastness of being

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

I run cross country and always act like I wasn't complaining the whole time after a workout. Crying because I didn't want to come? No I wasn't shut up

embarassing that exercise actually does make me feel better after being like nooo no i don’t need to work out intensely for an hour that’s stupid and then i do and feel amazing for the next 12 hours like Ohh did you like that?? Did you like jumping around and lifting heavy things?? whatever

Bro is STRESSING

aziraphale: rescuing me makes him so happy 😍😍😍

crowley when he has to rescue aziraphale:

but keep telling yourself that aziraphale, maybe one day you will fantasize so hard you end up back in reality