Sometimes I Feel Lonely With Physical Heaviness In My Chest. Can Somebody Please Love Me A Little?

April 13,

Islets of grey amidst a sea of coral and azure. I could breathe in the beauty of the evening and spend a lifetime in its transitions from russet and gold to the dimness of twilight. Poetry, happiness and peace are in the air for those who care. Beautiful. Beautiful. I can’t repeat it enough times. I am lost and found again. Redemption is sweet.

September is a pretty month, with its pale blue skies overlaid with gold and rose, while hazy clouds of a darker grey float dreamily about the edges.

White roses, it has always been white roses, with their inscrutable faces and slender thorns, the grotesque so beautifully encompassed in the lovely.

In love with the idea of rhythm, in music, in poems, in stories, in the quiet breathing of stray dogs, in the soft wind moving clouds, in the way my mind spins, in the way the world moves, everywhere, all the time. depersonalisation, I am somewhere inside the lizard hiding in the dusty crook of your bedroom, I am simultaneously in the pigeon nesting at twilight. Everywhere, all the time. 

I wish it were possible to skip the beginning stages of friendship and just become best friends immediately.

“...what is the point of looking at things which must always be viewed in so crude a light? When there is no softened angle of memory, nor is there gladness of anticipation? I’ll carefully choose flowers from no mans garden through the frost, all for them to be displayed as accolades on the dusty precipice of another’s understanding...”

when you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! then, send to your last ten people in your notifs (anonymously). you never know who might benefit from spreading positivity♡♡♡

Thank you!

1. Kitten’s paws on table counters,I don’t know but that always makes me want to melt into puddle of awws and never let the poor cat go.

2. Stray wildflowers growing between the cracks in the footpath, can never have enough, all my old books are littered with little leaves and and flower spoil.

3. You know when it rains really hard and there are puddles everywhere and you can’t find a place wide enough to put your foot in and it’s like the earth has been broken into little glass pieces which you must not step on?

4. Finishing notebooks, particularly ones I’ve filled with midnight ramblings and things I’ve absentmindedly said to the doorknobs and curtains.

5. Someone, anyone, remembering me, and perhaps even sending me a message in spite of my extreme reluctance to initiate conversations.

And I can’t leave this one out, - learning something that I am not required to, I’ve an intense fixation with astrophysics, history and philosophy. my folks think it is a waste of time that could be spent reading my textbooks, thus it has also the sublime satisfaction of rebellion attached to it. So there’s that.

drops this post on ur dash like i am a cat bringing u a dead bird