No Will To Draw, No Will To Paint - Mid Of Summer Is The Most Uninspiring Time For Me. But Luckily I

Bright and early in the morning decided to check if they came up with an accessible and actually working anti-AI art protection tool yet (they did not).

I'm so tired of this.

I got three artworks done that I can't make myself post. Haven't posted in months, and I don't know if I ever dare to do that while everything is the way it is.

Also a funny ☠︎︎ thought. My friend, who argued with me that AI won't replace me - she used to commission me for graphic design. She doesn't anymore, 'cause she learned how to generate, and it's free, unlike commissioning someone real. ))0)0

I'm not being replaced at all, you see. )

If anyone here sees this, you're welcome to tell me in detail just how much you hate AI in art. ♡ Also any suggestions of anti-AI protection will be very appreciated.

Once I had a dream: a perfectly beautiful room I hope to create for myself one day. Where I'll feel safe and in peace, and whose aesthetic I will just adore. Sadly, I forgot almost everything about this dreamy room - except for one feature, it was just engraved in my memory: there were decorative hand painted plates displayed on the wall, and each of them pictured a mermaid.

So I decided I want to draw this room of my dreams, and those mermaid plates especially.

A living space of which I dream went through some serious changes during the recent years of my life. I remember when we studied art history in the university how I was obsessed with medieval architecture and interiors, and how I thought what a fun (and what a mood) it would've been to live in romanesque or early gothic castle, or at least in a little lonely tower.

Then my lust for whimsy became a bit more modest, and for some time I imagined a mansion built in one of those styles as a place to live.

After that my longings narrowed down again, and in that point of life I was saving plenty of images of both cute and tiny cottages and simple apartments.

And here I am now, subconsciously dreaming about just decorating a corner in my own way.

Isn't it amasing how the dream gets smaller and smaller when it faces our world of money? What a miraculous exhaustion of belief in fairytale.

Ah dear friend I remember the night

The moon and the dreams we shared

Edits are mine, the quote is from "Beauty and the Beast" by Nightwish.

Made this to end the year meaningfully, for not only is that fun, but it's also a manifestation. Bonbora is alive. ♡

Plus totally unrelated XD but I wanna share this wonderful vintage quote I found:

They [fairies] live in nests on the tops of trees; and the mauve ones are boys and the white ones are girls, and the blue ones are just little sillies who are not sure what they are. ♡♡♡

J.M. Barrie "Peter Pan"

Fanfic illustration.

Description of the scene:

Axl being in hot pursuit of the unknown bloody-minded creature. Although he is a kitsune in depicted reality, this part of him in current moment is mirrored only in the window glass behind. 

Иллюстрация к фанфику:

https://ficbook.net/readfic/2706226/18604110#part_content

The moment when after learning a lesson from his teacher the apprentice stops perceiving his nearly dollish beauty as a curse that makes others stare at him shamelessly. Now he views it as a power able to take away anyone’s will. Which means the shame he used to feel when looking at his naked body becomes an obsolete, needless feeling.

Иллюстрация к фанфику:

https://ficbook.net/readfic/1940249/5830585#part_content

POV: You come back home tired and forceless wishing only to sit a little in calm silent dark without being disturbed by any soul. But there is someone home, and they want to talk to you, to chat, to gossip, to rattle. Immediately.

Antidepressant overdose

Complete project is here: https://www.behance.net/gallery/76409795/Cover-art-and-lyric-book-for-the-music-album

That interesting and seductive feeling when you look so godlike and radiate such confidence in own irresistibility it makes you ready to desire for self.

Lightened by rays of the setting sun, I looked illegally beautiful in a side mirror.

I almost hadn't expirienced it so strongly since then, and don't know when I will. Warmth and light are slipping away, so I'll just leave here this lost piece of summer and continue my transition to the phase of darkness and cold.

Made only now this little portrait, a thought of which didn't leave me since I've seen photo of Mahsa Ami̇ni̇ who died after morality police arrested her for wearing a hijab in a wrong way.

How absurd is this - none of mortal souls must have such a power over others' personal choices. Stand with Iranian women - they're fighting against something giant, swollen and very, very old. Something that doesn't want to go quietly.

It was too early.