Hey Not Sure If I Have Any Jewish Followers From NJ But FYI. This Is Really Concerning

𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘯 (𝘪 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦) | 𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬!𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

summary | eddie munson, lead singer of corroded coffins, is reading thirst tweets with buzzfeed and the last one, the most vulgar and detailed one, has a username that looks a little familiar.

pairing | eddie munson x black!fem!reader

wc | 1,650

warnings | modern!eddie, thirst tweets, banter, references to sex: free use, face fucking, unprotected sex, creampies, cervix-fucking.

a/n | i’ve had shitty writer’s block, but i saw aubrey plaza’s thirst tweets + remembered folake aina’s apology to skepta, so now we have this :) not beta read.

[ 18+ | minors, blank, ageless blogs: do not interact ]

–

“Okay, so I know the format has been explained to you multiple times, but I’m just going to review it once more and then we’ll get you started,” Eddie gave the thumbs up and the director continued. “So you’ll be reading some tweets we have lined up for you. The first few will be pretty tame and then it gets a bit more “thirsty” as you can guess. If you read one and you start to get uncomfortable, feel free to stop, okay?”

Eddie smiles, “Do your worst.”

“Good!”

The cameraman counts him down and Eddie grins.

“Hey there, I’m Eddie Munson, lead singer and guitar player for Corroded Coffin, and today I will be reading your thirst tweets,” Eddie laughs and sets up the phone they have with the tweets lined up. “I’m hoping for some real metal shit, so let’s go.”

He takes a quick breath and reads the first tweet they have written.

Eddie Munson is a gift from God.

“Thank you, while I think there are many people who would disagree with you, I like that line of thinking. I think I’m a gift from Ozzy, maybe? Y’know, like the music gods.”

need to know eddie munson’s shampoo and conditioner. immediately. purely for “research” purposes

Tilting his head back, Eddie chuckles when he looks into the camera. “Yeah, you sound like you’ve got the best intentions. I’m not sure actually, it’s whatever my girlfriend buys and puts in her shower. I trust her judgment, she has good taste apparently.”

In desperate need of the lead singer from Corroded Coffin to break his guitar over my head multiple times.

This one elicits a large guffaw out of him, “Holy shit. I love my guitar so much, I don’t think I’d be able to do that. Maybe with, like, an acoustic though, something that’s not my favorite guitar. But that sounds cool, sounds like a fun night out.”

just came back from corroded coffin’s show. i would let eddie munson back his tour bus over my body multiple times a day.

“I’m actually not allowed to drive the tour bus anymore. I’m banned, forbidden, prohibited, all that great stuff. One little accident, barely a scratch, and suddenly I’m an outlaw,” Eddie shakes his head in disbelief. “But I was completely sober! Driving drunk is not metal, as my girlfriend would say, it’s only something a half witted, selfish, asshole would do."

This earns him a few chuckles and claps from the camera and sound crew before he moves on to the next tweet.

As the director explained, the next few tweets get raunchier in nature. They now request that Eddie use and abuse various parts of their bodies, or even offer parts of their bodies for his pleasure. But by the time they near the end he’s laughing too hard and needs a glass of water.

“I’m not sure if you need two kidneys to live, but I think you’re worth more to me alive than dead. But selling your organs on the black market is pretty fucking cool, if you ask me.”

 i will offer any hole eddie munson wants or desires. i am nothing but a set of willing holes for him. please take me up on this offer.

He’s cackling now, trying to swallow the water and catch his breath. “I appreciate the enthusiastic offer, and the free use implications, fans like you are why we do what we do.”

The director breaks up the laughter, by speaking to Eddie. “The last tweet is a bit long, and has two parts.” Eddie nods his understanding and clears his throat to read.

Below the tweet is a picture of Eddie on stage, shirt open, guitar perched right over his crotch, hair drenched in sweat.

eddie munson. please, just 10 minutes of ur time, i would suck u dry.  i would require reconstructive throat surgery from my actions. i would hold my ankles while u touch my cervix because momma didn’t raise a quitter. i could take u totally raw, no lube, no condom, just me taking u deep like i was born to.

“Fucking Ozzy.”

The next tweet is a picture of text from the Notes app.

I would like to sincerely apologize for my actions last night. What I wrote in the heat of the moment was extremely inappropriate and was not the image that I would like to cast of myself online or in person. I truly hope that my prior moment of weakness does not sully my honest, innocent image. I should’ve known better. I used my Bachelor’s degree for evil, not for good, and for that, I am sorry. To everyone who had to read and witness that, I cannot express greater regret. And to Eddie Munson, the subject of my previous tweet, I am hoping that you will be open to receiving your apology in private.

“What the fuck?” Tears well up in Eddie’s eyes as he laughs. “This is what I meant when I said I wanted something metal.” His eyes scan over the tweet and he locks in on the user name, shaking his head when he realizes that he recognizes it. He’s not sure if it’s on purpose, but he keeps the information to himself.

“Fuck,” He cackles. “No lube, no condom? Holy shit. This person means it, fuck, I mean reconstructive throat surgery. How are they taking me so–” he cuts himself off to giggle. “That they need surgery? Born to do this? Where did you guys find this tweet?”

–

You toss off your white coat, making sure your stethoscope is still tucked neatly in its carrying case. When you move into the kitchen you find your boyfriend leaning against the counter, eating takeout from the container.

“Hey baby,” pressing a quick kiss on to his lips, you swipe a noodle from his chopsticks. “How was it today? I know you were doing some press, Buzzfeed right?”

Eddie nods, swallowing his mouthful before grinning at you. “Yeah, interviews, thirst tweets, you’ve seen them.”

“Yeah! They always get some of the weirdest tweets on there,” you chuckle. Reaching into the bag, you grab a set of chopsticks and open the second takeout container. “Read anything good?”

He does his best to contain his smile as he swallows another mouthful of food. “The usual, y’know? Kidneys, bussy, and semi trucks.” Shoveling food into your mouth, you confirm your understanding, but Eddie doesn’t stop there. “The last one was pretty interesting though. Like this person put time, thought, and detail into writing this tweet. The entire set was laughing.”

You look up with interest, “Oh really? What’d it say?”

“Just how they would only need ten minutes with me, reconstructive throat surgery, cervix-fucking, raw sex. Any of that sound familiar?” You freeze in your spot, shutting your eyes as you try to ignore your boyfriend’s words. “They even issued an apology afterwards, but they left the tweet up, which I thought was funny.”

Words were locked in your throat as you pretend to be wholly interested in your lo mein.

“Sound familiar?”

“Not at all!” you lie, setting your container on the counter. “Well, I’m going to go shower.”

You hoped that Eddie wouldn’t follow you in the bedroom, but you know better than that.

“Written by munsonsslutlife…that username doesn’t sound at all familiar to you?” You continue undressing as he speaks, attempting to block out his words. “I think I’ve heard it before. I remembered you showing me–”

You whip around, half naked and frantic as you look at your boyfriend. It has only been about 7 months into your relationship and you didn’t want to freak Eddie out with how much he consumed your thoughts before you even spoke to him.

“It was before I met you! It was from a spam account, and it was like over a year ago and I didn’t want to be weird and seem like some obsessed, sex-crazed fan or something,” you explain, eyes everywhere but on your boyfriend.

A beat of silence passes before Eddie shuffles over to you. He cups your cheeks, pulling your face up towards his while he leans into you.

“Why, baby?” he murmurs, breath puffing against your lips. “You didn’t want to be my little groupie bitch?” 

You stiffen in his arms, cheeks warming up at the filth falling from his lips, you try to hide away like you normally do, but his grip on your face hampers that. “You talk big shit on that account baby. Wanted me deep in your cunt, wanted my cock fucking up into while you hold your ankles because what? Your mom didn’t raise a quitter. C’mon baby, you said you’d take me raw. No condom, no lube. What happened to all of that?”

Heat gathers up in your palms and settles in your stomach as you take in Eddie’s heated look. So far, mostly at your request, the sex has been vanilla. Not at all bad, just very tame. Not like what Eddie was used to, but he made no complaint. Unbeknownst to him, it’s not like what you were used to either.

“Played innocent with me this whole time, but that’s not you, is it?” Eddie smiles, shaking your head in his palms. “You’re fucking dirty. The whole fucking world knew you were born to take my dick and you couldn’t even tell me? I’m so hurt,” he’s fake pouting at the end, but your gut still twists at his words.

“Eddie,” you start, reaching up to touch his chest. “I’m sorry.”

He tsks lightly, pecking your lips before he goes back to sit on your bed.

“Lucky for you baby,” Eddie spreads his legs and leans back against his palms. His bulge is large and prominent in his jeans and you feel your mouth watering a little at the sight of it. “I’m open to receiving my apology in private.”

Source 

Ayo, to any one who may be tagging me in stuff, messaging me, or trying to leave comments and can’t - I’m pretty sure I’ve been shadow banned.

IM NOT IGNORING ANYONE I SWEAR! I love interacting with y’all, and this SUCKS. All I can seem to do rn is answer your asks in my inbox and reblog. I sent in a ticket to tumblr support - let’s see if the gods grant me favor lmao.

Be somebody

Leon S Kennedy x Male Reader

Written from your POV

Warnings- Angst+fluff

I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am

Burning.

That’s the only word that could be used to describe the feeling of Bourbon sliding down your throat,maybe that’s why many use it to cope with the many hurdles that life throws at them.

Maybe that’s why Leon turns to it,to feel something else rather than the constant feeling of being stuck in the never ending cycle of Bio weapons.

Saving the world from the re-animated is a thankless job but hey someone has to do it right? The sights one see’s on a regular occurrence while tackling bioterrioism would drive anyone into the arms of a alcohol for some sort comfort although watching the one person you care about find comfort in such a self destructive setting is just as equally self destructive.

Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times,I’m just a speck inside your head, you came and made me who I am

“Y’know it’s rude to stare”

Blinking out from my thoughts I’m met with what could only be described as a shit eating grin as Leon begins to raise his glass up to take a swig of what’s left

“We’ll it’s also rude to up and leave without even as much as a note and making everyone worry”

Letting out a defeated sigh and sitting in the empty chair next to Leon I reach over placing my hand against his cheek using my thumb to stroke over his cheek. Feeling Leon lean into my touch brings a feeling of comfort through my body

“I’m sorry,I just couldn’t stand standing in that building any longer than needed”

Tired. Leon sounds and looks as if he hasn’t slept in 10 years, of course it’s understandable why he’d be in a place like this,a run down bar with a few regulars spread along the main bar area while leon hides in the darkest corner of the bar with a bottle on the table to avoid social interaction.

“Gotta give it to ya,when you don’t want to be found you legit drop off the earth even Redfeild was worried”

He let out a chuckle at the thought of seeing Chris worried for the ex rookie cop.

I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way

Placing a hand over your hand he brings it to his lips placing a small kiss on it before bring it back into the table

“I drop off the earth yet your still the only one who ever finds me” smirking before letting out a tired sigh and leaning his head on your shoulder “thank you for y’know…still being here with me”

Letting a small chuckle out before moving his head off your shoulder you begin to stand up and get ready

“Last time I check that’s what Partners do,we stick by one another until the end”

Holding your hand out towards him you help leon to his feet while leaving bills on the table for the bar staff and begin to walk out the bar.

“Let’s go home Leon,just us two against the world amma right”

Turning to him with a genuine warm smile enough to show Leon that he wasn’t alone,that no matter what you’d be by his side through the thick of it,

He let out a content sight taking your hand in his before giving it a gentle squeeze while using his thumb to stroke the knuckles of your hands

“Us two against the world,I could get used to that”

——————————————

I hope you guys enjoy this!!

these tags are so funnyyyy

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Akash Bobba

Edward Coristine

Luke Farritor

Gautier Cole Killian

Gavin Kliger

Ethan Shaotran

Spread their names!

Please spread this like wild fire. My brother has been missing for 4 weeks with no contact, we don't know if he's dead or alive. Please every little interaction helps