Rita Dove, From “Voiceover“

"Believe me"

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!Reader

A/n: I would want you to read the warnings before you proceed to read, SA is a heavy topic and it may be uncomfortable for some Readers which I completely understand. Credits for dividers to @cafekitsune

Word count: 2,1k

Summary: the only person that you thought would trust you, didn't.

Warnings: angst!, mentions of SA, mentions of r@pe, comfort at the end 

You were sitting on your bed, hugging your knees to your chest. You felt incredibly empty… and dirty. You had no energy to cry, it was like all the tears were dry. It was painfully slow and yet, it happened so quickly. The memories of yesterday’s night replaying in your head. You had to relive it again and again because your mind wouldn't let you stop. You were thinking of what you could have done differently, of what you could do to prevent that from happening. It didn't make sense, you weren't the one to blame yet it seemed like your own mind wanted to torture you… with memories and what ifs. You just wanted to feel alive again, not like a shell. You felt empty like something was taken from you. 

The door swung open, and Simon practically ran into your room. You looked at him with your eyes filled with tears, he seemed furious… Did he know already? You stood up, despite your body aching. Everything hurts, everything. Every fiber of your being, every single part of your body, your mind, your soul… everything hurts. It was like an illness, a poison… slowly killing you.

“Simon-” you began but he didn't let you finish.

“You thought I wouldn't find out? That you cheated on me like a fucking slut?” Your eyes widened at his harsh tone. He had never spoken to you like that. 

“What are you talking about? I would never do that,” but Simon didn't want to listen. You could tell by his eyes that he was overwhelmed by rage.

“Don’t try to play dumb, Y/n. I let you in, do you understand? I never let people in. I don't allow people to get close to me and yet, I allowed you and what did you do? Cheated on me. I should have seen it coming, huh? Did you even join the military to serve the country or to serve your cunt to other soldiers?” His words hurt deeply, reopening your wounds. You couldn't hold back your tears, they were streaming down your cheeks now. 

“Simon, just listen to me. I would have never done this to you, I wouldn't” you tried to calm him down. You have seen him act so furious before, but never towards you. You were the most precious person in his life, he would never hurt you… 

“Listen to you?” He grabbed your collar. You flinched, you didn't want to be touched. He was your Simon but it didn't matter, you were scared of someone touching you like this, so suddenly. “Look at your neck, all covered with marks,” he spat. You didn't want to look, you knew perfectly well how it looked. The images of your body were already haunting you, you didn't want to look at it now. “You won't look, huh? Why? Are you ashamed of being a slut? Shouldn't have done that,” he let go of you. You fell to your knees with a whine. Your whole body was hurting so fucking much, and not only your body. Your heart… your soul. He was your partner, why couldn't he believe you? You just wanted him to listen, to understand, to… believe. 

“Please, listen to me” You were on the edge of breaking down. You didn't stand up from your knees, you were too weak for that. Tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Are you going to tell me that it's not what I think? That you didn't fuck some motherfucker?” You sobbed quietly, trying to hold it back. Simon’s gaze seemed to soften… The door opened and your eyes widened. You didn't expect Johnny to be back so quickly. 

“I'm back,” Soap looked at you and Ghost clearly confused, he didn't know what happened here. 

 “Him? Are you fucking kidding me? You fucked Soap?” Ghost rushed to Johnny and grabbed his neck, not giving any of you a chance to explain. Simon felt like he could kill Johnny right here right now. The betrayal sting, his girlfriend and his fucking friend hooked up. 

“No, will you listen to me? Please,” you sob, unable to hold it back. The emotions you were trying so hard to keep inside were getting out. Simon’s grip on Johnny’s neck tightened, and Johnny couldn't breathe. It was too much for you, you ran out of your room without holding back. You felt pathetic for not helping Johnny but you had no energy to do so. You were drained, like someone sucked the life out of you. You ran to the only safe place that you knew. Soap finally pushed Ghost away, breathing heavily as he was able to catch his breath. 

“Calm down. It really wasn't like that,” Johnny was trying to keep his tone calm, he didn't want to anger Simon even more.

“Calm down? Are you fucking serious? You banged my…” he hesitated. “... girlfriend and expect me to believe in any word coming out of your traitorous mouth?” Simon shook his head before rushing at Johnny again. He pressed him against the wall, and the back of Soap’s head hit the wall hard.

“She was raped,” Johnny finally said it. At first, Ghost couldn't believe it but the longer he was looking into Johnny’s eyes… he realized. Simon let go of Johnny immediately, his eyes wide with shock, tearing up a little.

“How? W-where?” Ghost needed to know, he needed to know how to comfort you. Soap nodded slowly, at least relieved that Simon believed.

“Yesterday when she was coming back from the store with snacks. It seemed like the attack wasn't planned,” Johnny explained, trying to be gentle. Simon froze, yesterday he thought that you didn't come to watch the movies with him because you were with someone else… he was so wrong. Simon’s eyes teared up, he leaned against the wall, overwhelmed. Ghost couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe that he failed to protect you. The one person that he loved and cherished. Simon didn't know what to do, he knew that he fucked up… he was going to kill that bastard but first, he needed to find you. Simon needed to fix it, he didn't mean to break you more. He was running around the base for a while until he realized, you wanted to feel safe. So he went to the only place you would feel like it. You were there, sitting on the rooftop. It was your comfort space… yours and Simon’s. Ghost approached slowly, but as you noticed him your eyes filled up with tears and you began to tremble. It was killing him, the sight of you being afraid… of him. You didn't want to be touched, not after he yelled at you so much.

“It's me, darling. It's me, alright? It's me Simon, your Si…” Simon took off his mask. He rarely does that, he just wasn't comfortable with people seeing his face, but you were the love of his fucked up life, and he wanted you to know how much he valued you. Ghost had trust issues, he couldn't believe that someone so pure and loving like you would ever choose him to become your partner. Simon felt like it was too beautiful so he ruined it. He had trust issues, but he should have never doubted you. Simon didn't deserve you, he knew that much. “I'm so sorry,” he got on his knees. You didn't move, trying to hold your tears back. “I know I'm a fucking moron. I couldn't believe that someone like you would love someone like me so it was… it was easier for me to believe that your love for me wasn't true, that you cheated,” his eyes watered. You have never seen Simon cry. He was opening to you a lot, but he had never cried. “I know nothing I will say would make it better but if I could go back in time and handle this situation differently… I fucking would. You deserve the world, y/n. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you, I was blinded by rage and my own trauma, and I failed to notice how much I hurt you. I failed to notice… I was selfish and I'm so sorry,” Simon Riley was on his knees, crying, in front of you. Slowly, unsure, you moved your hand towards him and wiped his cheek. It was the first time you had seen him cry, but it was the worst view you had ever seen. His eyes were full of emotions, you could see how fragile he was, the regret and shame burning him alive.

“I just wanted you to believe me, that's all I wanted,” you sob quietly. Simon clenched his jaw, he was furious at himself. How could he hurt a beautiful angel like you? You were his whole world, how could he not trust you?

“I know, I'm so fucking sorry. I will never make that mistake again. Do you hear me, Y/n? I will never doubt you again. You are the most important person in my life. Many people betrayed me but I should have known better, I should have known that you would never do that,” he was falling apart before you. You were conflicted, he hurt you, he really did… but both of you were broken. Simon failed you in your worst time, but he was here now.

“I’m… broken now, Simon. You don't want me now, I'm dirty,” there it was again. The voices in your head that you were ruined forever, for anyone. That Simon wouldn't want you, how could he want you? You were used by someone else. His eyes widened.

“May I… touch you?” You didn't know. You weren't sure if you had it in you, but it was your Simon. You were scared, but you nodded. Simon very slowly stood up and wrapped his strong arms around your waist, your head pressed against his chest… His scent was so comforting. Simon was giving you the warmth that you needed these past few hours. Your tears were soaking his shirt but he didn't care, caressing your back softly.

“You are the most beautiful and innocent thing I have ever met, nothing will change that. Especially not some bastard. You may think that you are broken but it's not true, you are here. You are here with me, I believe you, Y/n. I believe you like I should from the beginning. I'm not leaving you, I will never leave you. You are the love of my life,” and despite the chaos in your mind and your soul. You knew that he wasn't going to leave you. Ghost had many flaws, but he loved you. He was already forming a plan in his head about how he would torture the bastard that dared to touch you, he was going to make him scream and beg for death, but Simon wouldn't kill him so easily. Simon was going to make him suffer and humiliate him before killing him for good. Ghost would do anything for you, he wanted to reward you for being so fucking blinded by his rage and trust issues. “I love you, princess. If you consider yourself as broken, then we are like puzzles. Two broken pieces perfectly fitting to each other… well the other piece is sometimes dumb, but happy that you chose to put up with his shit. I love you, Y/n” his tears streaming down on your head. He pulled you closer, Simon didn't want to let you go, ever.

“I love you too, Si… but please, never treat me like that again. My heart can't stand you… being cruel to me,” you whisper. You were afraid that he was going to do something like that someday.

“Never, I promise,” he kissed your forehead, caressing your back, trying to soothe you.

“I believe you,” you said the words that you wanted to hear from him from the start. Ghost began to thank you, his tears continuing to stream down his cheek. You knew the road ahead both of you wasn't going to be easy, but you knew that as long as you both had each other you could make it work. Because now, Ghost will always believe you, even when you don't believe in yourself. 

2023 qatar gp summarized

Bro this video is fucked up in a way but Ngl I laughed so fucking hard when I saw this tiktok…. Like why…😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

omg omg imagine car sex with Henry after the lunch with Bunng from the beginning of the book ♡♡♡

a/n: i’m literally only halfway through writing rn and i’m apologising in advance. do not read this in public.

warnings: 18+, minors and my bf dni, emetophobia warning, rough and unprotected sx, degrading, henry having slight sadomasochistic tendencies but what else is new.

“henry!”

“yes?!”

“you’ve got babysitting duties.” you said, tossing henry his car keys as you wandered out of the bedroom. you had just been on the phone to bunny, who was in a predicament of not being able to pay the bill he racked up with richard at a restaurant. “let’s go.”

he rolled his eyes, and took a second to light another cigarette, blowing smoke your way as he followed you out the door. “where are we going?”

“where do you think?” you replied sarcastically, because more often than not, it was the same place you were picking bunny up from, steaming drunk and flat broke. you opened the passenger door of the car and got in, lighting yourself a cigarette.

henry sank into the driver’s seat and stared you down, clearly moody. “this is getting old,” he said flatly, starting the car and pulling onto the road. he sighed another lungful of smoke in a slow, steady stream, shaking his head.

“don’t shoot the messenger.” you held your hands up in mock defeat, smirking slightly to yourself. once you arrived at the restaurant, you saw bunny, stumbling around outside, and richard was swaying on his feet, too. you sighed, shaking your head. “get in.” you said, out of the open window.

henry stormed inside to do damage control on the chaos that bunny likely left in his wake, muttering curses the whole way. while he was gone, you watched bunny and richard fall into the back of the car.

“if you vomit, i will kill you.” you began. “if you open the door and fall out of the car, i will leave you there.”

you looked in the rearview mirror at bunny, and waited for him to look at you. “and if you ever do this again,” you warned, pointing at him with the fingers that had a cigarette between them. “we will not be coming to get you. is everybody clear on that?”

they both nodded, mouths zipped shut. no one said a word when henry got back in the car. henry was pissed off, but when you caught his eye, you snickered and had to turn away.

bunny was first to be dropped off, as henry came to a rather ungraceful stop outside the dorms. “get out of my car.” henry said, his tone of voice so parental it was almost patronising. bunny knew better than to disagree with henry, so he stumbled off into the night.

you couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, leaving richard incredibly confused. “bunny does this all the time, richard.” you explained, straight face returning with the addition of a motherly tone.

“it’s not your fault. he’s a sleazy little thing, isn’t he?” you said, turning to henry. henry simply nodded, becoming slightly less tense when he realised the situation (bunny) had come and gone.

once richard was also safely disposed of, you relaxed. however, you didn’t really want to go home and get out of the car just yet. you glanced across you, and noticed that henry was staring at you, in the way that he did when he had an idea. “what?” you asked, lighting another cigarette.

you realised what henry was getting at, and you groaned. “oh, no.” you complained.

“it’s so impractical.” you played this game every time, and it was a mystery why you did, because you yielded every time without fail, clambering into the backseat and ripping off your clothes.

and that was exactly what you did.

you struggled out of your dress in the confined space, and henry had to hold back from ripping it clean off to save time. instead, you simply hiked it up, shimmying out of the pathetic excuse for a pair of underwear that you had been wearing since last night.

you lost one of your heels, so kicked off the other one as henry was trying to unfasten his belt with one hand, other hand already gripping your hair and holding your head back as he nipped at the base of your neck.

eventually, henry won the fight against his belt, and pushed straight into you, knowing damn well you’d be wet enough. sure enough, you were sodden. you gasped, breath catching in your throat and causing you to let out an ultimately embarrassing squeak.

once henry had buried his face in your neck, he was already cursing you out with breathy sighs of “fucking hell.”, or “fuck. god.”, and something filthy in latin which you were sure translated to arrogant whore (😉).

you scrunched your face up in dislike at his curses, thinking he was too preoccupied to notice. that, however, was not the case. suddenly, your face was wet, and you realised that henry had spat on you. he grabbed your face with one hand, hovering over you.

“don’t fucking look at me like that.”

your jaw dropped in shock and in pleasure, as henry began to fuck you at an alarming pace. it was hard and fast enough to almost be painful, but once a rhythm was established, you realised it was the perfect sweet spot between pleasure and pain. you dropped your head back, leaning it against the misty car window as your pathetic whines grew louder.

you were trying your hardest not to lose it then and there, wanting to make it at least fifteen minutes before the tension snapped and you soaked the backseat of henry’s car. unfortunately, that task was made more difficult when henry’s fingers landed right where you needed them the most, circling more gently than you thought possible from him.

“open your mouth.”

you tested the waters by saying nothing, staring blankly up at henry with a mischievous fire in your eyes. henry was not impressed, and that became increasingly obvious.

“do as you’re fucking told.” he hissed, his tone too warning for you to ignore. you glared up at henry, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. your eyes widened when you felt the two fingers that had previously been pressed against your core now rammed down your throat, causing you to gag and tear up.

henry’s eyes flickered shut and he dropped his head onto your shoulder, pulling his now spit-soaked fingers out of your mouth and wrapping them around your neck as he fucked into you harder, faster.

this was the tipping point for you, pushing over the edge as you felt the ball of burning pleasure reach its peak, and then begin to dissipate as you rolled out the high. you cried out so sharply that it sounded almost pained, gripping henry’s upper arm with all the strength you had.

feeling you tense up around him sent henry over as well. he swore, loudly, cursing your name over and over under his breath. putting probably more of his weight around your throat than he should have, he pulled out of you harshly and came undone with such conviction that you felt it land on your bruised collarbone.

your chests heaved out of synchrony, and you said nothing for a moment, just trying to get your bearings back. you weren’t brought back to sanity until henry leaned down to kiss you sweetly, a stark contrast to what had just transpired as he told you “you’re beautiful.”

carlos appreciation day

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 57,575 others

yourusername: it’s this guy’s birthday! you make my world go round solely by existing. love you most, mi alma🍷❤️

fan1: what a power couple! happy birthday, carlos!!!

landonorris: WHO is blasting “cuff it” at 5am?

yourusername: my bad 🫣 jet lag has me wide awake. c’s fast asleep so breakfast in 10? 

p1_coach: joining! did not expect to be serenaded this morning but honestly loved it

fan2: i’m obsessed with these two but more so with the way @yourusername and lando bicker like siblings

carlossainz55: you're my everything and more ❤️

carlossainz55: sorry to all the drivers affected by beyoncégate. i asked for an explanation but all i got was "it's virgo season, carlos"

lewishamilton: she's got good taste 😉

scuderiaferrari: carlos appreciation day today and everyday 🌶️

Baby, we could go back to the basics

Trailer park love, wearing them ASICS and gold

Why does he look dazed and confused

Tom Hardy by Greg Williams

can’t stand him

“What is this?… Hello? Anyone there? Who were you talking to? No one? I’m just… it’s me” *starts fixing his hair*

📹tonicowanbrown