Anyways,, Hi Guys I Took A Dna Test Last Month. Its Been 2-3 Weeks Right?? I Got Results.

i am literally. this close. THIS. close. to. fucking. cry. and shout.

my family has a serious obsession w me being gay and keeps forcing me to come out and out the closet. no matter how hard I say no, I REPEATEDLY hear “oh you came out? cant hide now can you?” like no bitch i was basically out years ago at a young age w all those subtle signs of queerness but brushed it off and went w being straight until my queerness became visible to me. i just wasnt so sure and i didnt know this community existed until i was like really old. back then you never knew I was GAY LMFAO.

and they keep saying “you owe me an explanation as to why you’re gay”, “if youre gay why watch kpop boy groups?” (she keeps calling them chinese and i wanna fucking smash a wall omfg), “you owe us a coming out story”, “youre not gay stop lying” etc then I said I don’t owe them shit and they REALLY said “oh but we’re your family? we should know” like.. there’s worser they said but dear god. that house is so lgbtq+ phobic, im suprised. the homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc was REAL and showing in that HOUSE and the whole convo was just utterly disgusting.

i had my own PERSONAL experiences, lemme keep it confidential between me, myself and I.

then she says “oh but do you like 🐱 (down there) or a 🍌 (a guys below)” ? like dont fucking sexualise me??

they kept outing me multiple times,, and keep bringing up that i am a GAY PERSON.

LEAVE ME ALONE?? then my sis had the audacity to say im making up “excuses” like you’re straight? stfu you are not GAY. don’t speak for me. ever heard of unattainable men? oh ofc not cause youre so ignorant lmfao

I hate it here so much...

y’all mfs need to understand, not every person who likes women is a fucking lesbian. People can be bi and have a gf / attraction to girls. and just like how having attraction to men doesn’t mean you’re “being gay” or “straight”. you can be bi, pan, omni, etc even ace and like men. NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS SAME SEX ATTRACTION IS GAY AND/OR LESBIAN. bi, etc people EXIST.

I feel so annoyed and upset, and they SAW my vents in my phone about everything that happened to me. like don’t go through my fucking phone w/o permission??? and then my friend blocked me cause she got jealous AFTER ALL OF THAT.

and this is ALL on christmas. YESTERDAY.

ffs this christmas is fucked up bruh.

I’m never coming out.

and then the way I said people can change lgbtq labels of their sexuality, nothing bad and then my family goes “but you aren’t cake? how the fuck can you change labels lmfao stop lying”

Well done, thanks for forcing a fucking person to come out and out me numerous times.

the only way I’ll come out in when I leave this fucking dungeon. now I can’t even like women anymore now cause i feel so disgusting....

i really need help to feel comfortable in being queer. im really going through a hard time and I need some support please.

I saw another girl (we saw each other on monday) and we finally became friends

I stared at her and she randomly came up to me and said “hey you’re quite funny ... and i like you”

When this fucking girl said that

I looked at her IN THE EYES

AND like I said the same thing too

(I know im probably attracted to girls who knows)

And we became friends.

We went out in the rain, talked about things since we were friends, she found me funny throughout everything so like she said she liked how funny i was

Bare men crowding to me complimenting me (I said thanks but no feelings)

So when she went, I stared at her ass (her ass accidentally) for just 3 mins like I DONT KNOW I couldnt control looking at her

She was just nice.

Rn my heart is just ❤️‍🔥 for the 2 girls.

JUST ..

why is my attraction to girls so .. complicated but also very clear ???

?

hi

trigger warning: sexual misconduct

i have started school since September and I have been badly sexually harassed and assaulted. I manged to tell my mom and my teachers about it and I got blamed and mocked gossiped talked about, lost my friends including blocked, and I have been feeling really trapped. uncomfortable and I have been hiding alot of what has been going on.

recently, it got worse and i have been hiding everything 3 months ago after i last spoke up was the end of september. i spoke up and just realised nobody really cares or listens and thinks im lying. my sister has been such a bitch recently, she hates me for no reason, and she uses my sexual harassment and assault as a way to mock and hurt me (e.g “you wouldve been the next (another sexual assault survivor name), its ur fault” etc etc

the things these boys did r horrendous and I cannot write it down cause its too much to put on here and I feel like crying if I get reminded as I write them on here.

someone mind helping me?? im really lost and my mental health been fucking up and I have been trying to restrict myself from drinking and isolating myself from everything everyone and I just feel like doing it and my suicidal thoughts got even worse and I just been thinking of doing it before the new year.

I am just so tired. anyone help??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

THE MARIO BROS MOVIE IS OUT TODAY LETS GOOOO

this made my day because

i went to this restaurant and i saw this nice ass manager and he was really friendly and basically offered anything we needed and while my family was talking to him, they had a few of piercings including lip ring and loads of badges, and they use he/him pronouns!!!!!

AND THEY TOLD ME IN SIGN LANGUAGE THAT THEY WERE A NON BINARY (gender) ARO (aromantic | romantic orientation) LESBIAN (sexuality) AND USES HE/HIM PRONOUNS (thank god my family doesn’t understand what was happening) and i told them i was nonbinary/trans who uses he/they and explained my sexuality to them since i was questioning and used queer as an umbrella term and HIS SMILE OH MY FUCKING GOD

THEN THEY GOT REALLY FRIENDLY AND MY FAMILY DIDNT NOTICE ANYTHING

when we left, we took each others numbers, AND I USED HIS PRONOUNS AND HE WAS SOBBING LIKE HE WAS GETTING ALL EXCITED AND HAPPY NZULSMSKQ

and he was super friendly to Me and my family and my family was really nice to him (even though they’re extremely lgbtqphobic) but like,, we were just really happy together

I found my queer peer !!!! LETS GOOOOO

today at school, i had some “friends” and one friend went “who’s ready for pride month?” and they were all cheering in the classroom and then this one friend who sat next to me (found out she makes fun of me sometimes) said so much horrible things about trans people and the lgbtq community (mostly the trans and non binary community including genderfluid)

they started saying they hate trans people bc we “take the piss” and they never understand why we go by he/they and she/they and that and they invalidated neopronouns too saying “wtf are neopronouns? some neopronouns users actually have pronouns like meow/meow, xe/xem, etc” like why would i wanna call you that like that’s so stupid (laughs)” and they started talking about this teacher who got sacked bc he misgendered a student who was trans and trial for 3 days and now they went “oH nO OfFENsE but what is genderfluid? what is that? bc why am i a man the next day, a female today, a trans next day, and demi fucking the next week like that’s so confusing and you can’t change genders like that so they need to stop that HAHAHAHHAA” and the “why do you guys use he/they pronouns? and she/they and whatever? like you can’t use more than one pronoun and gender equals pronouns like stop being stupid” LIKE I FELT SO INVALIDATED OMFG

“and i never understand the non binary mfs who use more than one pronouns or say their gender is this that like THERES ONLY 2 GENDERS. female and male. nothing else???”

and they just said so much more like oh my god (message me if you wanna hear the rest) and i just hate them for it. I BROUGHT MY PRIDE FLAG for celebration in my bag and thank god i never brought it our bc yall wouldve invalidated me.

i hate people. lgbtq ppl are extremely valid. yall cishets and straights NEED TO SHUT UP.

i know I’m not someone who shares my sexuality on here but I need help.

I really need some supportive comments and some help.

Please follow me and do help me.

I really need help because I've been struggling and I feel like I should seek out now.

Warning: this is kind of a let out but a rant so please help me and don’t be rude.

And I'm still new to tumblr so I'm sorry for my post history.

I'm trying my best here I can't try much and I'm trying.

I'm a kpop fan page on here so please help me.

I can’t tell if im a lesbian or bi.

I can’t seem to help staring at girls nowadays and I keep brushing off my feelings.

Today I saw this girl and she's so cute.

I so badly wanted to say hello but I was scared. In my mind, I wanted to badly be her friend. Like so badly. I kept looking at her until one point someone called my name and since I wasn't paying attention, they touched me so when they did, I got scared. My heart jumped out my chest so I snapped out of the thoughts quickly. But looking at her is just a dream like I wanted to so badly say hi but I couldn't. I had no time.

I don't feel any interest in men. I was walking around men lately and I didn't find anything interesting as I used to when I was younger. Nowadays when a guy would talk to me, I would get excited but I wouldn't find myself to date him. I was nervous but no butterflies in my stomach.

I've been wanting to kiss my friend ever since we first met ( a week ago ) and now I'm just like, every time we talk, I just always thought of kissing her.

I sometimes feel bad and deal with negative thoughts with this whole thing and sexuality because I can't tell if this is real or just a lie.

I feel like I'm still straight or I'm lying.

I really wish I could be together with a man but now I can't and I feel bad because I feel like I shouldn't be this way. I really wish I could be with men as what my family are expecting but now I can't.

Sometimes I'll be like "men <3" as I used to do when I was growing up and younger (In reality still but not anymore now?) but now I'm like "girls so pretty" , "I wanna be her partner"

I can't tell if im a lesbian who's experiencing comphet (which is valid) or a bisexual struggling.

I just wanna be with a girl but at the same time I'm scared.

+ I would always stare at a girl's butt or her upper part and then look away so she or anybody doesn't notice.

One time I stared at her for about an hour at her upper part.

I dont know what was there satisfying. But I dont know how to explain my facial expressions when it happened.

I would make a face like my eyes widening and then my mouth opening, then I would be like "oh my god.. her .. ahhh" under my breath in this whispering voice or like mouthing (covering my mouth though or something) then be focused on it.

Or look at her butt and be like "oh wow, that's.." like I can't help but stare there.

When I spoke to her, my fingers weakened and she understood that I was nervous.

When she hugged me I immediately panicked (in my mind) because I was so close to her upper body.

I just.. it's getting too much.

I don't know what I am..

Lesbian experiencing comphet or a bisexual with a lean ???

I feel like a bi with a leaning but this attraction is something else.

I just wanna touch her. No one understands me. So I need help with this if you don’t mind ?

Anybody who's bi or lesbian, please reply.

I can't explain properly but I tried.

Please leave a comment and help me out.

I'm lost.

i dont care who makes fun of kpop fans or whatever. mfs who hate on us for liking music differently and i dont care who make fun of what i like and love watching but kpop is DIFFERENT and feels different to most people. some see it as a way of being themselves or a connection to different music and people and thats ok and i love seeing that. for me kpop makes me feel a huge range of emotions and feelings.

one of the things i love in the whole world is that as someone who listens to kpop on a regular and daily basis (everyday ALWAYS) for so many years, seeing people who r just like u is so freeing. u could make a reference and everyone will get what u said

another thing i love in the world is seeing CHINESE people in kpop. people like chenle and renjun from nct, people like jun and the8 from seventeen, and more. people like that make me feel safe.

it makes me feel extra connected to a certain aspect of my cultural identity. i grew up hiding the fact that i am asian (desi, arab & chinese) and that i was all kinds of asian, and seeing those idols make me feel so connected oh my god like ways to learn my language by watching them teach fans or them speaking it and making it easy for us by what words means and sentence structures, their culture, their food, their traditions, the way they look, the way they r passionate about where they r from, it makes me feel such a huge connection into being chinese and make me want to know more about my culture like you guys dont understand how FREEING that is for me after hiding that aspect of my identity for so many years OH MY GOD