The Purpose Of Obtaining Knowledge Is For The Betterment Of Oneself.

suddenly a lot of things from hit ya dystopian series arc of a scythe make a lot more sense

thank youuuuu! 🙏

bored so i made these ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Only been watching The Pitt for a few days but Mel King is THE best autistic character ever written in a medical drama. She doesn't "make connections no one else can" or "just see things differently" or any other Savant with Special Abilities stereotypical bullshit, she's a resident physician who's exactly as intelligent and capable as any other resident physician in the same year. She hates unnecessary yelling because it's loud and annoying, not because she's completely incapable of handling conflict. She usually keeps her stimming subtle enough to hide but sometimes she can't. She loves having a furry critter to pet. She accommodates an autistic patient by lowering the lights and closing the doors because she understands the sensory nightmare of an active medical setting. She speaks in a straightforward and honest way but she isn't an overtly rude inconsiderate asshole. She misses some jokes and takes things too literally on occasion but she does have a sense of humor and she is funny. She speaks up against misinformation and parent panic about autism and other developmental disabilities. She has emotions. She looks at a video of a lava lamp on her phone to chill. Doctor Mel King you have my entire heart

I feel like I just looked at an apocalypse scene and then bashed my head on the ground.

time for mcr, I guess

why are shorts so expensive that is like 1/3rd of a pant right there

so… is this, like… all must apply or at least one must apply?

reblog if:

- you’re dead

- heard the news that you’re dead

- no one had much nice to say

- they never really liked you anyway

- taken from a hospital bed

- think its grand to take a pistol by the hand

- think its great to be dead

child me was a demon.

fair warning: this might get me on a list or something.

because, like, at age 3-6 or around there, I understood emotional manipulation and revenge but not empathy or boundaries.

occurrence #1: before I realized it was absolutely NOT okay, I tried to poison a cat as revenge, but it didn’t work, luckily. I had been playing with my cat the day before and she scratched underneath my eye. I regarded (and still do, but less violently) cats as my equals. so I responded to the unexpected attack by pretending everything was fine and then striking when she least expected it. I hated my bangs, and I reasoned that if cats cough up hairballs, they’re probably allergic to it and I betted human hair is stronger since it’s not their own. so I chopped off my own bangs with scissors and put it in her cat food bowl, then watched with wicked glee as she munched away. she was fine then, and she’s fine now. Also, this memory (over a decade later) is only as strong as my rage about her having the AUDACITY to attack ME, the princess of the whole kingdom: very very strong. I’m pretty sure I brought her back to life anyway a few days later for the plot and because she’s adorable.

occurrence #2: my family and I were at a pizza restaurant and the waiter brought a pizza that was covered in bacon bits. I famously said “I can’t eat this pizza. It has bacon bits over all over it.” because I’m a very picky eater and I stuttered a lot. But the funniest part about this is not what I said:—it’s how I said it. According to video evidence on my older sister’s snapchat account, I got “increasingly sadder” as I continued speaking. I wasn’t actually getting sadder. I was just annoyed that I didn’t have the exact food I could eat because I was starving and I love pizza. So, I tried to emotionally manipulate my family in order to get my needs met. Because I ✨clearly✨ couldn’t do it myself. recalling this just bitterly reminds me of how entitled I acted when I was a kid. I acted like the snooty kind of princess; not like Elsa like I was hoping. Anyway, it built my reputation as a lazy scum. It certainly doesn’t help now that it took every single minute of free time I had at home to get my homework done this year. I’m in (the last week of) eighth grade. If this is middle school, what is college? But that’s an angry rant for another time.

I have a third occurrence but I don’t remember it well. It was basically this: my best friend and I were play-fighting at age, like, 7 or 8, and I totally underestimated my strength and kind of… aggressively beat her with a minecraft pickaxe made of a kind of hard type of foam to win the battle. She didn’t bleed or bruise, but I feel really crappy about that, even now. We’re not friends anymore, and I’m not sure if it’s because I moved schools or if it’s because I treated her horrendously (which I totally did), but I’m afraid to reconnect for a few reasons: what if it is because I treated her horrendously? what if she we don’t have anything in common anymore? she doesn’t fit in with my current friends because we became friends at a time where I lacked empathy or understanding of my own identity or the desire to be unique. I just wanted to fit in and be popular. And she fit in with that group of people. We did have fun, and she was really cool, but I don’t think we would get along anymore.

Okay, so, the fourth occurrence is the most recent. I was eleven and I fit most of the symptoms for depression, but I was basically in denial and just tried to keep going without a single change to my life. It obviously blew up, and I hurt a lot of my friends in the process, then my “mid-tier” anxiety worsened. I remember only actually crying once: the afternoon after I observed the repercussions of the whole event. It was called the “Google Slides Massacre of April 27, 2022” because I basically just wrote a google slides presentation on why I hated everyone and sent it to their emails. 😭 It kills me to think about because “wdym the worst mistake of my life was on google slides!?” There’s a lot of background to that, but I’ll save that for another time because it is almost 3 am and I am low-key kinda tired. I’ll probably regret posting this tomorrow, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because when I say I hate myself (my past self at least) I think people need context. 🦗 … bye. good night/morning/day everyone.

everything is stupid and expensuve

a minotaur is 60 secontaurs

this lives rent-free in my brain

our home amongst the stars xD