If Your Plot Feels Flat, STUDY It! Your Story Might Be Lacking...

2017

Someone called us wasps again. Let’s bring back old discourse. Bmblb is about Yang's bike /j

Listen as someone who some people consider to be a veteran in this fandom but has actually only been here since 2020 to this day I burst out laughing every time I remember that people genuinely said that the song was about the fucking bike like what the fuck was up

I want to write a movie that is sort of the flip side of a Hallmark holiday movie. Not an anti-Hallmark movie, just like the other side of the same coin.

It starts with a well-dressed professional woman driving a convertible along a country road, autumn foliage in the background, terribly scenic. She turns onto a dirt road/long driveway, and stops next to a field of Christmas trees, all growing in neat, ordered rows, perfectly trimmed and pruned to form. She steps out of the car--no, she's not wearing high-heels, give her some sense!--and knocks on the door of a worn but nice-looking farmhouse. An older woman, late fifties maybe, answers the door, looking a bit puzzled. The younger woman asks if she can buy a Christmas tree now, today. The older woman says they don't do retail sales--and the younger woman breaks down crying.

Cut to the two women sitting at the kitchen table with cups of tea. The young woman (Michelle), no longer actively crying, explains that her mother loves Christmas more than anything, but is in the hospital with end-stage cancer. Her doctors don't think she'll live to see December, let alone Christmas. Nobody is selling Christmas trees in September, so could the older woman please make an exception, just this once? The older woman (Helen) regretfully explains that they have a contract to sell their trees that forbids outside sales. The younger woman nods, starts to stand up, but the older woman stops her with a hand and asks her what hospital her mother is in. After she answers the older woman says that "my Joe" will deliver a tree the next day. "Contract says I can't sell you a tree, but nothing says I can't give you one."

Next day "Joe" shows up at the hospital in flannel and jeans, with a smallish tree over her shoulder. Oh, whoops, that's Jo, Helen's daughter, short for Joanna, not Joe. Jo sets up the tree and even pulls out a box of lights and ornaments. Mother watches from hospital bed with a big smile as Jo and Michelle decorate the tree. Cue "end of movie" type sappiness as nurses and other patients gather in the doorway, smiling at the tree.

Cut to Michelle sitting in her dark apartment, clutching a mug of tea, staring out at the falling snow and the Christmas lights outside. Her apartment has no tree, no decorations, nothing. She starts at a knock on the door, goes to open it. Jo is standing there, again holding a tree over her shoulder.

Plot develops: the second tree is a gift, because Michelle might as well get it as the bank. The contract for the tree sales was an /option/ contract, which prevents them from selling to anyone else, but doesn't guarantee the sale. The corporation with the option isn't going to buy the trees, but Helen and Jo can't sell them anywhere else, and basically they get nothing. They'll lose the farm without the year's income. Michelle asks to see the contract and Jo promises to email it to her.

Next day at a very upscale law firm, Michelle asks at the end of a staff meeting if anyone in contract law still needs pro bono hours for the year. No one does, but a senior partner (Abe) takes her to his office and asks about it. She says the contract looks hinky to her ("Is that a legal term?" "Yes.") but contract law's not her thing. He raises an eyebrow and she grins and pulls a sheaf of paper out of her bag and hands it over. He reads it over, then looks up at her. "They signed this?"

More plot develops. Abe calls in underlings--interns, paralegals, whatever--and the contract is examined, dissected, and ultimately shredded (metaphorically). It's worse even than it looks--on January 1st Helen and Jo will have to repay the advanced they received at signing. The corporation has bought up a suspicious number of Christmas tree farms in previous years after foreclosure, etc.

Cut to Abe explaining all this to Helen and Jo while sitting with them and Michelle in a very swanky conference room. The firm is willing to take on the case pro bono, hopefully as a class's action suit for other farmers trapped by the contract--but there's no way it can go to court before January. Which will be too late to save the farm's income for the year. They might get enough in damages to tide them over, but….

After Michelle sees Helen and Jo out, she comes back and asks Abe if there's anything they can do immediately. Abe looks thoughtful for a long moment, then gets a really shark-like grin on his face. "Maybe…."

Cut to Helen wearing a bathrobe, coming into her kitchen in the morning. She looks out the window…and there's a food truck stopped in her driveway. She pulls a coat on over her robe and goes out--two more trucks have pulled up while she does this. Driver of the first truck asks her where they park. Another truck pulls up behind the others. Behind that is a black BMW--Abe rolls down the window and waves. Helen directs the trucks to the empty field/yard next to the house. Abe pulls up next to Helen's car and Jo's truck and parks. He and Michelle get out--Abe wearing a total power suit, Michelle in weekend casual.

The case will be easier if the corporation initially sues them for violating the (uninforcible!) contract, rather than them suing to corporation (damn if I know, but it's movie logic). So they're going to sell the trees now, and rounded up some food trucks and whatnot to draw people in.

Cue montage of Jo and Michelle running around helping people set up while Abe and Helen watch from the kitchen table. The table starts out covered in file folders…and slowly gains coffee cups and plates of cinnamon rolls. It becomes increasingly clear here that Abe and Helen are becoming as close as Jo and Michelle.

Everything gets set up and a very urban, very motley crowd appears--tats and studs and multiracial couples and LGBTQ parents and everything--and everyone is having a wonderful time eating funnel cake and choosing their tree so Jo and a bunch of rainbow-haired elves can cut it for them. At which point someone shows up from the corporation (maybe with a sheriff's deputy?) and starts yelling at Helen, who's running checkout. And suddenly Abe appears from the house and you realize why he's wearing that suit on a Saturday….

Cue confrontation and corporate flunky running off with their tail between their legs, blustering about suing. Cue Jo kissing Michelle. Cue Helen walking over and putting a hand on Abe's shoulder and smiling at her.

I want the lawyers to be the heroes because they are lawyers and know the law. I want a lesbian who lives in the country with her mother. I want urbanites to turn out as a community to help someone who isn't even part of their community. I want Michelle to keep working at her high-power job, loving Christmas and grieving her mother.

Same energy!

Here’s some:

SPAM (spearmint)

AMOE (Amore)

JASP (Jasper)

MAPE (Maple)

PEAA (Pea)

SAAP (Sap)

SAMP (Swamp)

Some are better than others, but it’s a start

Oscar Pine

Jaune Arc

Marrow Amin

Emerald Sustrai

I need someone to make a team name for me. Send help.

"Why don't people recognize Link in TOTK" bc everyone imagines the legendary swordsman to be built like Ganondorf and Link doesn't bother correcting anyone bc being hailed as a hero is like on the bottom of his priorities, which are topped by things like "Bake one of every pie"

Mini rant here:

I hate when people watch RWBY and go “There’s no difference between magic, dust and semblances! This show is so stupid!” Of course it all looks like magic to us! We can’t do any of the stuff that dust and semblances do in our world! Magic in the world of RWBY is what is considered impossible or otherworldly, just like us! But semblances and dust are a part of everyday life in RWBY. That’s why it’s not magic. What makes magic in RWBY magic is that it doesn’t follow the rules of that world.

A semblance is basically an individual superpower that manifests through a person’s aura. A person can only have one superpower. Semblances may “evolve” and allow a user to do more things but it is still the same power at its core. For example Ren’s semblance is tranquillity. Originally it allowed him to mask negative emotions of himself and/or others. In volume 8 it evolved so that Ren can also see emotions. While he did gain a new ability his semblance is still one based on emotions at its core. He’s not gonna one day be able to absorb lightning like Nora can. A semblance can’t be used if a person’s aura breaks. Also from my understanding a semblance can’t cause people to have any physical mutations. For example no one is going to have a semblance that makes them shapeshift. (People like Neo don’t shapeshift. They make illusions.)

Dust is basically an energy source that can allow people to control different elements. This can’t be done without dust. People can have elemental semblances similar to dust, but they can only manipulate that one element. For example Neptune’s semblance allows him to control water, but if he wants to control another element, let’s say fire, then he needs to use dust.

Magic throws all of these rules out of the window, which is why people that use it are so powerful. They don’t have the limits that most people in RWBY have. The maidens can manipulate whatever element they want without dust in addition to their semblance. That’s multiple superpowers. Also, as seen through Amber’s fight against Emerald and Mercury, a maiden can still use their power if their aura breaks. The reason Qrow and Raven turning into birds is magic is because as mentioned earlier a semblance can’t cause people to go beyond normal human/faunus biology. That’s why Weiss and Yang were so shocked when Raven turned into a bird in front of them. People are not supposed to be able to do that!

Magic in RWBY is different because it goes beyond the rules of the world that the SHOW takes place in, not our own. Semblances and dust follow those rules so they aren’t magic.

Now I’m not saying you can’t be confused. But I hate it when people don’t take the time to understand something and automatically call the show terrible because of it.

I was lucky enough to be born when being forced into being right handed was not a problem anymore (at least where I live). Most of my the troubles that I have had due to being left handed were inconvenient at worse. These were mostly me having trouble using tools that were made for right handed people (scissors, bows), and teachers struggling to put me in a seat where I wouldn’t bump elbows with the kid next to me. The only scenario that was slight more serious was when my grandma tried to teach me knitting. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why I was having so much trouble. Turns out my grandma was trying to teach me to do it right handed. She didn’t understand that I couldn’t knit right handed or at least not very well. I still don’t know how to knit because of that.

My uncle, who is also left handed, was forced to use his right hand. I’m not sure if he was beaten over it, but it’s why he can write with both hands. Luckily he mainly uses his left hand now.

I’m rambling but I guess this is why I am so proud of being left handed. It’s not a huge deal among my generation other than being different. But people weren’t allowed to be left handed until recently and I was always aware of that.

Random Story Time!

In my history class during my senior year of high school my class was assigned a talent show project. We had to pick a country that was important or had a major influence during the Cold War, write a at least a page of two related to the country and said significance. The talent show part was to do a small performance or presentation of sorts related to your country. You could make food, do a skit about an important event or person, sing a song, etc.

I decided to do Hungary for this project and thought that singing would be my best bet since I’m not the most creative person and I thought a skit would be more embarrassing. It would also be easier since I was doing this project alone. I found a song that was sung during the Hungarian Revolution against the Soviets and decided that it was the perfect choice.

There was just one problem…

I do not know ANY Hungarian. This was my first time even ATTEMPTING to speak the language. I couldn’t find any English covers to listen to and while I could find the directly translated lyrics, I was so busy at the time that I did not have the time to format the song in a way that it would sound good with English lyrics. Also I didn’t have the time to memorize the song enough that I would be able to pull up the instrumental version and sing it well. I know that with enough time and effort you can sing a sing in another language perfectly and still not know the language. But like I said I did not have the free time for this.

So eventually when it’s my turn to present I went up with a piece of paper where I wrote down the lyrics and just hoped that I wouldn’t be too off rhythm and with the pronunciation. I was FAR from perfect but I think I did okay. My teacher was mostly grading this project based on doing it anyways, so I wasn’t worried about my grade.

Here’s the funny part.

Once I finished my teacher actually asked if I was Hungarian because apparently my accent sounded a lot like a Hungarian one. I looked straight at him and responded with: “No, I’m Mexican.”

Honestly I found the whole situation hilarious given the context. I hope this story makes someone laugh.

***

Note: I went to a very diverse school where many kids were first generation Americans meaning the majority of the students’ parents were not born in the US and many of the students were bilingual. We had people from all over the world so honestly having a Hungarian kid would not have been a shock.