桃路果子

Great lead-in questions, Rayla.

Fools! It was Aizawa all this time! Buajajaja!

Spot the Main Character

Ace Visibility Matters

Being visible for ace week almost inevitably means at some point running headlong into some ugly acephobia.

Here is one that crops up a lot when people are first learning about asexuality that I’m going to tackle today.

“Why do I have to know you’re ace?/Who cares if you’re visible?/Aces are just seeking attention.”

First and foremost, ace visibility matters.

It matters that we have an identity, and that we can define ourselves and our experiences so that we can recognize and advocate for ourselves and each other. It matters that aces are visible, and that information ABOUT asexuality and asexual communities is visible, first and foremost, so that OTHER ASEXUALS can access it.

In spite of increasing traction and acceptance in online spaces like Tumblr, “Asexual” and the numerous micro labels that fall under its umbrella, are still not widely understood or even heard of by the population at large.

By being visible, the likelihood is increased that awareness of asexuality will reach other aces who do not yet know that they are ace. And that it will reach them earlier in their lives.

There are numerous positive impacts for an asexual discovering they have a recognized identity and COMMUNITY. Notably, and while this is not a comprehensive list:

Validation. The realization and sense of security that comes from learning that they are not the only one. Not “broken.” Not a mistake, or someone who just needs to “get over it.”

Freeing aces from pressure to conform to allo standards to “fit in”, which can negatively impact their wellbeing, mental health, and self esteem.

Allowing aces to Discover their communities, Receive Support from one another, and Organize to advocate for themselves

The importance of that last one cannot be overstated. Humans are social creatures with an inherent need to connect with one another. By having the labels and language to describe ourselves, asexuals are able to find those whose experiences mirror their own. This allows asexuals to explore their own sexuality in a safe space with individuals who are able to understand their experiences. It allows them to give and receive validation and share positivity. And more broadly, it leads to the formation of communities.

A community is important for the social needs of individuals aces, but it is also key to advocacy. We cannot effectively advocate for ourselves if we cannot effectively organize.

That is the most serious need for community, and by extension visibility, always, regardless of where you fall under the lgbtq+ umbrella. Isolated, as scattered individuals in the minority? We have very little reach. Together we have power to look out for one another and effect positive change in how we are perceived and treated.

(This is the same reason that the LGBTQ identities are all better served banding together under the umbrella and advocating for and with each other, but that’s another can of worms I won’t get too deep into)

With all that said, other than aces being aware of themselves, it is still very important that non-aces are also aware and educated about what ace means. Education fosters understanding and wider acceptance. It means non-aces are more likely to find common ground with their ace peers, and visible aces are more likely to find acceptance and avoid aphobia with their non-ace peers.

With all this in mind, when you encounter attitudes like those that prompted this article that boil down to “why do aces need to be visible?/isnt announcing your asexuality just seeking attention?”, please actively help to dismantle those notions as they are harmful to the ace individuals and the community at large.

Likewise, please share this if you can and support aces being out and visible.

Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

Flags in order, left to right:

Top Row: Requissexual, Wolandsexual, Parasexual, Cuddliosexual, Grey/Graysexual, Placiosexual, Aceflux, Acespike, Acevague.

Middle Row: Agensexual, Caedsexual, Demisexual, Asexual, Aegosexual, Aetusexual.

Bottom Row: Fictosexual, Proculaexual, Quoisexual, Iculasexual, Fraysexual, Reciprosexual, Apothisexual, Cupiosexual, Lith/Akoisexual.

Damn... poor boy

The Atlas personality, drawing on the myth of the giant Atlas from Greek mythology upholding the world, is typically found in a person who felt obliged during childhood to take on responsibilities (extending beyond normal household chores or looking after siblings) such as providing psychological support to parental figures, often in a chaotic family situation.

They are thus liable to develop a pattern of compulsive caregiving in later life.

The result in adult life can be a personality devoid of fun,

and feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

Depression and anxiety, 

as well as over-sensitivity to others 

and an inability to assert their own needs, are further identifiable characteristics. 

In addition, there may also be an underlying rage against a parent for not having provided love, and for exploiting the child for their own narcissistic needs.

While Atlas personalities may appear to function adequately as adults, 

they may be pervaded with a sense of emptiness and be lacking in vitality.

(Write-up sourced from wikipedia.)

Infographic: Legally Married and Legally Fired, Center for American Progress

Kuroshitsuji: Book of the Atlantic

Just some of my favorite replies from the homophobic shit going in the comment section at the new short film.