Thinking Back, I Guess One Of The More Surreal Episodes Of My Life Is When I Would Serve Mass As An Altar

This guy is an artist like Ed Gein was an interior decorator.

Gojira at the Olympics put up the Bat Signal for culture vultures that forgot metal music exists. Well, that'll because they have the retention of a goldfish, but that's beside the point. Happened recently before that with Stranger Things and Master of Puppets. This irks me as apparently it's enough to attract their attention, and they're stirring as evidenced by their objections to Gojira's lyrical content and then the subsequent turn onto Cannibal Corpse.

First off, lemme say "get bent tourist" and get that out of the way.

Secondly, Cannibal Corpse has been around since 1988. They're a horror movie with growled vocals and blast beats. They were in Ace Ventura:Pet Detective with the original vocalist. They're not just going to up and go away because some noob wieners start flinging words like problematic around.

That's the wonderful thing about metal, all the weird little sub genres. If bands like Cannibal Corpse, Ghoul, Circle of Dead Children or Dying Fetus are worrisome to you, you can go bugger off and listen to DragonForce elsewhere. Don't harsh another metalhead's mellow, maaaaaan.

Side effect or bonus? Because the primary heating is wood, I basically smell like a combination of my aftershave (bay rum) and wood smoke all the time. Gotta get the fire going or build it back up, and a bit of smoke gets out. The cabin smells like sandalwood and wood smoke as well.

On top of all these other shenanigans, Ol' Pooty Pants has poured enormous amounts of money into the monastic community at Mount Athos, specifically for the Russian monastery and sketes. And subsequent to that, there's been an opening of an investigation into how the monks (who are allowed bank accounts) have been laundering funds for Putin and his cronies. Also, since the opening of hostilities in Ukraine, security services believe Russia is running a spy ring out of Mount Athos through Kirill's cooperation.

The Moscow Fiasco

At the prodding of @quonunc, here is a quick overview of the incident I fondly referred to as "the Moscow fiasco" in a previous ask about the difference between Catholicism and Orthodoxy. It's a subject dear and horrifying to my heart after I wrote my undergrad dissertation on it.

In short: this is to do with how the Moscow Patriarchate (Russian Orthodox Church, hereafter ROC) is entirely in bed with the Russian government, and how Patriarch Kirill (of Moscow and All Russia) has been responding to the ongoing situation in Ukraine (and former Soviet lands more generally). Picture will make sense lower down the post.

The slightly longer short answer is that Patriarch Kirill is entirely in favour of the Ukraine war, and the ROC clergy are under significant pressure to support that as an official church stance-- my dissertation topic started to germinate when, completely by accident, I came across a 10-minute video of a ROC priest explaining very slowly and carefully that when he met the Pope, he did not talk about Ukraine. Will link this video if I can find it again, but at present it's proving elusive. (EDIT: found it!!! It was the Metropolitan Hilarion of Budapest and Hungary. This video looks like a hostage video honestly £10 says there's someone behind the camera holding a gun to this man's head for legal reasons this is a joke).

The foundation for this belief is obviously completely political (and the history of how the ROC and Russian state are completely entwined is long and complicated to say the least!), but officially the ROC stance is that it's about reclaiming the historic Slavic spiritual unity founded on the Baptism of Rus' in the year 988 by Vladimir the Grand Prince of Kievan Rus' when Slavdom become Orthodox. Proponents of this "Russian World" theory (Russkiy Mir') basically argue that it's the influence of the West that has fractured the unified Slavic people into different, opposing nations, and that by "liberating" Ukraine of this alien ideology of nationhood, the Slavic Orthodox world will regain its historic unity under the common banner of Orthodoxy. All I will say on this is that these people have a very rosy view of Kievan Rus', but that's a post for another day.

This has obviously caused friction within the Orthodox world. Ukraine now has two Orthodox churches-- the Orthodox Church of Ukraine, which is in communion with the Ecumenical Patriarch in Constantinople, and the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, which is in communion with the Russian Patriarchate. They are not in communion with each other, and Constantinople's decision to grant autocephalous status to the OCoU caused Moscow to schism with Constantinople. Constantinople is also accusing Moscow of heresy (specifically, ethno-phyletism). Moscow obviously denies this. Obvious question for the Catholics among us-- does this mean Russian Orthodox christians are no longer Orthodox? No, because schisms between Orthodox churches are not particularly unusual, and they remain within the general cloud of Orthodox communion links.

The whole mess is then immortalised in the absolute monstrosity that is the Main Cathedral to the Russian Armed Forces, which is what I wrote my diss on. The YouTube video linked there is promotional material from Russian military-themed TV channel Звезда, and is one of the better sources of info on it-- a lot of English-language sources contain a lot of incorrect information on it-- either because they don't understand the cultural background, or just straight up lies from the Russian govt propaganda arm--, so take anything they say with a grain of salt. Kirill then gives televised sermons from this cathedral in which he talks about the glorious Russian martyrs of the Ukraine invasion, does his best to harmonise Stalinism and Orthodoxy, and oversees military parades for national holidays. This cathedral has a huge amount of weird symbolism and imagery, and I am super happy to talk more about the mosaics and propaganda going on there, because it's a lot (to say the quiet part out loud: pLEASE ask me more about this cathedral because the more I think about it the more scream-worthy facts about it I remember).

You may have seen memes with this picture of the Virgin Mary (below). Yeah that's from this cathedral. And it's a really really fucked up image. Like, more fucked up than you may think. Could have written my entire diss on this image alone and how shockingly awful it is. western orthobro converts who keep reblogging it as if it's somehow cool and macho are just showing how little they know and it's embarrassing.

The militarism of the ROC since this whole thing has also gone bonkers and there's a huuuuuge amount of corruption and weird stuff going on. The tension between the clergy and the laity has been extremely high for decades, and has spilled over most notably in Pussy Riot's Punk Prayer stunt, an exhibition called Осторожно, религия! (beware, religion!), and some shenanigans in church-building more generally. On this particular incident I would point to the blessing of nuclear weapons and the canonisation of a patron saint of long-range nuclear missiles as key moments. The cathedral also has matching mosaics of Putin and Stalin, a fact that the Russian government very much wants you to think never happened (officially the mosaics were removed, but they absolutely were not-- muggins here found them and has the pictures to prove it).

The main takeaway from this topic is that situation is obviously complicated and the repercussions for everyone involved-- particularly Russian and Ukrainian laypeople-- are unpleasant to say the least. It gives something of a window into the Putin regime and its propaganda arm (Epiphany swim, topless horseriding pictures, Soviet-style policies, I could go on) more than anything else, because the situation inside the ROC is still quite obscure. From talking to people who know Kirill personally, it's not clear quite what he thinks is going on or why he's involved the way he is. Either way. Fiasco.

Remember kids...if you're going to sell out, sell out hard.

Rodrigo A. Branco

Right now, in the West Philippine Sea and South China Sea, there's an unofficial naval conflict going on between the Chinese Coast Guard, "Chinese fishing boats", and various SE Asian nations. Basically, the CCP has decided to basically seize fishing grounds, lay claim to various islands and shoals and try to gain control of the sea lanes. They've been intruding into EEZ areas of smaller nations chasing fish, and are eyeballing the enormous amounts of trade that pass through the area. There's also huge oil fields and natural gas reserves under water that China is eager to control.

"Volunteer fisherman" in special fishing boats that have been reengineered for ramming have been pushing other nations out of their fishing grounds. Much like the little green men of the Crimean invasion, these little blue men (from their blue outfits) are deniable assets used to enforce Chinese will. They basically suck as fishing boats now, but boy howdy can they damage other fishing boats.

Along with this, the Chinese have been building land onto reefs by dredging to create instant sovereignty land which they then claim. Other nations have responded with derelict ships being anchored across reefs that act as permanent bases.

Recently, during a supply run to a Philippine base ship, the Chinese Coast Guard decided to intervene and called the whole thing an intrusion into Chinese waters. They rammed the supply ship and made a hostile boarding brandishing swords, knives and axes, the Philippino sailors fought back with bare hands and whatever weapon like object they could lay hands on. A Philippino sailor reportedly lost his thumb in the fracas along with other injuries.

So, uh, HOLY CRAP. Pirates, cutlasses, boarding actions, water cannons... everything old is new again.

i hate you booktok i hate you overly organised bookshelves i hate you hard cover supremacists i hate you reading challenges i hate you colleen hoover i hate you people who can only seem to read ya or romance i hate you same style of cover in every modern book i hate you rupi kaur i hate you plain boring prose i hate you buying books just for the "aesthetic" i love you pretentiousness i love you being a snob

When in doubt, go to primary sources. This picture is a drawing of Irish soldiers by Albrecht Dürer, 1521. Gallowglass and Kern, the gallowglass are the two on the left wearing the padded gambeson and the maille shirt with the burgonet. Gallowglass were (originally)Scottish mercenaries from the highlands hired by Irish nobles as heavy infantry, though in later years they incorporated locals into the companies. See the dude on the left with the claymore? Carries it like a polearm over his shoulder. See the Kern on the right? Holding the claymore under his brat (mantle)? He's acting as a sword bearer for the gallowglass with the spear. He's got the blade wrapped up in his brat so it doesn't cut him.

Here's a landsknecht of the Renaissance, a German mercenary and a doppelsöldner (double pay man) by his weapons. The zweihander he's carrying is to break up the large blocks of pike by chopping through the pikes and then dismemberment of the lightly armored pikemen.

The whole greatsword scabbard discourse gets me because, like, we know the answer to this one. We've got primary sources talking about it. The answer to "how do you carry a weapon that's more than a yard or so long" is:

If you don't think you'll need it on short notice and you're lucky enough to have access to a wagon or other means of transport, you don't carry it at all – you stick it in the wagon.

If you do think you'll need it on short notice or you don't have a wagon, you just carry it in your hands everywhere you go and constantly complain about how dumb and awkward that is, unless you're a professional mercenary and/or independently wealthy, in which case you hire a guy to follow you around carrying it in his hands everywhere you go and he complains about how dumb and awkward that is (though probably not while you're listening).

We Have Super Grass - I Love Hollywood