Kians-blog2 - * 𝓫𝓸𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓵...

                                     and behind the mask of m a t u r i t y                                                        that you wear,                                     a pair of eyes belonging to a ( CHILD )                                          stares back at you in the mirror.

                                                 you are not a warrior,                                                           MY LOVE,                                                  you are merely a boy.

seojvns‌:

just trust me, kian whispers, and seojun does. he trusts him too deeply, willing to follow him anywhere without questioning a thing. he doesn’t voice it, but he’s nervous. even though he knows there’s no one around, he can’t help but glance as kian fiddles with the lock, his heart racing with anticipation and the fear that maybe they will get caught. doing something that felt wrong wasn’t a strong suit of his, but going along with things was. as soon as he was being ushered in first, seojun took the lead, his footsteps cautious as he entered. “you want to get some last minute studying in before we go?” seojun questions in a whisper, a brow raising as he kept his eyes on kian. “yeah, um, it’s kind of the point of a library, to let anyone come whenever they want,” he teases, a slight smile still on his lips.

“yeah,” he breathes in response, and he gets it. the thrill of being there after hours. there’s something ominous about the darkness though, something that leaves seojun unsettled. he watches, but he doesn’t touch anything - mostly because he’s afraid to make too much noise, on the off chance there’s a campus security guard somewhere nearby. it’s unlikely, but his worries get the best of him. he stares, instead of helping, as kian pushes two tables together. as soon as he’s telling jun to come, he obeys, climbing on top as well and lays beside him. “is there something you’ve always wanted to do? or somewhere you’ve wanted to see?” he questions, holding up the flashlight to shine on the book so they can plan their getaway. 

“mhm.” he hums in reply, scooting closer to seojun so the other boy can see the pages as well. “but, since this is a short trip, we won’t be able to do all the things i want. maybe some other time though.” he smiles. “like over the summer or something.” he suggests, flipping the page. his eyes scan the words and look over the pictures, but nothing is really standing out to him. he begins moving his feet back and forth, knocking against seojun’s in impatience, but his face doesn’t read the same. “god, it’s so quiet in here.” he comments. “and, yeah, i do realize how ironic that is considering we’re in a library.” he laughs lightly. he sees a few places close by that catch his eye so he mentally makes note of them before turning the page again. it’s probably rude to do so without asking his roommate because he’s more than likely looking as well, but kian’s selfishness extends to all things. “what about you?” he asks suddenly, flipping around so he’s laying on his stomach. he lets the book close, keeping his place with a finger, as he rests his chin on seojun’s chest. “something you wanna do? somewhere you wanna go?”

moonsus‌:

for moonsu, it wasn’t unusual to gain a strange look or hear someone tell him he needed to tone himself down. which he really didn’t mind - he tried his best to keep his personality as something people felt comfortable with. he was all too willing to bend himself and shape into something that made the other happy. it wasn’t until he heard kian encouraging him that a wave of affection rushed through him. it was like he remembered why he was so deeply invested in him to begin with. kian let moonsu be himself, as embarrassing as it was at times, and it earned him another quick kiss. “then you’re in luck… i might’ve lied. i definitely have, like, double that to give. if those bitches hadn’t cut me off, i’d still be up there talking about you. they didn’t even let me get into how much i love your face. super rude, that’s my favorite part,” he complained with a furrowed brow. “i can tell you now, though?” it wasn’t like moonsu didn’t already find every opportunity to talk about kian to whoever would listen to him. it was shocking that in all that, he still never seemed to be enough to find out about kian’s antics beyond him. as much fun as moonsu was having… the second he heard that kian wanted to leave, he was nodding along, playing for his drinks and turning to casually kiss kian’s forehead, his arm tangling with his and taking a tight hold to his hand. “okay, let’s go,” he murmured, leading him out and sucking in a sharp breath as they stepped into the cold air. “you did mean… you meant my place, right?” he gestured to himself, his head cocked to the side. “i think if we do that, i might even let you drink a little…” he leaned closer to whisper, “but don’t tell, okay? i’m a responsible adult, taking care of my baby.”  

kian raises his other hand, hiding his smile behind a fist, as he giggles like a little schoolgirl. sometimes he really gets on his own nerves with shit like this, but he knows he has to do it because moonsu is super receptive to it. he just has to remind himself that it’s a small price to pay in the long run. “my face is your favorite part?” he quirks a brow, not so subtly shifting in his seat to spread his legs a little wider. call it manspreading or call it getting a point across. “you sure about that? kinda shallow.” he smiles. the happiness actually reaches his eyes when moonsu swiftly pays for their drinks and places a kiss to his forehead. he closes his eyes briefly, relishing in the feel, as he allows himself to be dragged out into the cool, night air. “of course, what else would i mean?” he knocks his shoulder against the other’s playfully. as the wind whips around them, he tugs his jacket closer around his body, and squeezes moonsu’s hand. “are you trying to get me drunk?” he questions, lightheartedly. “my lips are sealed, babe. don’t worry.” he grins, his cheeks hurting from how much he does the action. “i wouldn’t mind having a drink, to be honest. it’s been... a week. might be nice to wind down a little, you know?” he says. “i mean, there are other ways we can wind down too, but we’ve got all night.” he winks. 

SEOJUN: if anyone believes in you, it’s me SEOJUN: but if you need to take a break… that’s okay too!! take care of yourself 💕 SEOJUN: dangerous territory is my middle name SEOJUN: mr. seojun dangerous territory anything SEOJUN: i don’t know!! you could choose anyone you want to  SEOJUN: i guess i can make an exception for you 😇 SEOJUN: but if anyone asks, i’m sick SEOJUN: i don’t want to get a rebellious reputation 

KIAN: i always wanna take a break tho like when does it become a problem? KIAN: weird middle name....... ur parents good? KIAN: bad joke ik i blame it on my brain bein fried KIAN: what makes u think i can just choose anyone i want to? KIAN: i’d still choose u anyway ya know ur my favorite KIAN: wait so....... u want me to lie for u?? KIAN: u may not want a rebellious reputation but i don’t wanna be known as a liar either 😕

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ seojun. ❜

seojvns‌:

“so am i,” he says, taken aback by kian saying so. jun probably made it obvious that he was thankful that he ended up with him daily with the little gestures; making food for them both without being asked, keeping their dorm tidy on a regular basis, waiting up for kian to come home even on nights where he didn’t. seojun finds comfort in his assurance, a soft smile on his lips. “i can’t help it either,” he admits, “and i don’t think it’s childish.” it’s ironic, for seojun to be assuring kian now, but that seemed to happen way more often than kian ever needed - not that jun was aware. he gives his hand a gentle squeeze in return. he wants to believe what kian’s saying, but it’s difficult. the insecurities that had a tendency to seep in were constantly nagging at the back of his mind, giving him little reminders of why kian was wrong. but it’s nice to hear. “you’re too nice to me,” he can feel his cheeks warm again, and he’s thankful for the darkness now. “i don’t know how true any of that is, but if you think so, maybe someone else will too,” he says, his words laced with hope. maybe if he wasn’t such a romantic at heart, he wouldn’t put such an importance on love - that’d probably be the healthier option, but he’s a hopeless romantic in every sense. he lets out a playful huff in protest when kian pokes at his side, but he’s still smiling too. “maybe i’ll try to take more risks,” he muses, but if he actually will… it’s difficult to say. “is it?” he scrunches his nose again at kian calling it very nineties. he wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or not. “oh,” he says, his voice soft. “i get that,” he adds, “i think i probably play it safe most of the time too.” and now he’s the one squeezing kian’s hand to reassure, not wanting him to feel embarrassed. 

he doesn’t know how their conversations always turn out like this, with seojun being the one to somehow reassure kian of everything, but it happens every single time. by now, he believes that it’s because his roommate just has a lot of insecurities and some kind of need to take care of people out of the fact that he can’t really take care of himself. and not in the traditional sense, but in the more emotional, mental sense. he should really make more of an effort to get to the bottom of that. “trust me, remember?” he quirks a brow. “it’s always hard for us to see ourselves the way others do. but, i promise, you’re someone worth having. though, i’m not so sure anyone is worth having you.” he states. “i don’t think it counts as being nice if it’s true. i’m just being honest.” he smiles, leaning over to press his lips to seojun’s cheek. “hey, you’re taking a risk with me right now.” he points out, waving his hand slightly in the air. “kinda?” he laughs. “hooking up in a bathroom at a party seemed to be a staple in nineties movies.” he explains. “or was it the early two thousands? i can’t remember.” he shrugs. “but do you want to?” he asks. “play it safe all the time? i mean, these are our college years. we’re suppose to be doing all the things that are somewhat crazy and risky. it’s not like anyone’s here to stop us.”

i need a fightbuddy, which is like a fuckbuddy but instead of banging you fight. no strings attached just text me lemme know when it’s going down 

anvya‌:

annya finishes her handful of popcorn before answering his question, “i really love clue, it was my favorite. my dad would always win but he taught me his strategies and one time i actually guessed it on, like, the third round and my mom refused to play that game for a solid month.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the memories, soon longing to be back home and spend a whole day playing games and be around her parents. her life may have started off rough but she got lucky in the end to find people who finally cared about her. “i’ll have to make you play with me one day,” she smiles as her fingers trace through his hair before settling on his neck. to bring kian into a tradition she held so dear to her, she couldn’t help but grow a little excited with the idea. what if he came to meet her parents one day, and they got along so well, and soon he was invited to all the game nights and everything was just…perfect. “unless, uh, that’s too childish, of course. probably sounds lame,” she tries to wave it off with a laugh before reaching back for a few more bites of popcorn.

his next statement makes her raise an eyebrow before shaking her head, “you’re not boring at all. if anything, my picture is probably right next to the word boring in the dictionary.” maybe it was her own fault for feeling that way in the first place. there were plenty of times she could have gone out, hit up some random party and gained some regrettable experience, but at least it would be something. she chose to stay in her room and work on her designs, follow the rules and only hear about such experiences through the gossip vine at school. she’s pulled away from her thoughts one more, a horrible habit she does quite often, as kian peppers her with kisses that causes her smile to grow far too wide, soon happily kissing him back. this time, however, she pulls him back in, letting their lips collide for a little bit longer and a little bit stronger. there was no denying how kissing him always made swarm of butterflies fill her stomach, his lips almost like poison that she simply couldn’t get enough of. but soon she’s pulling away because maybe she was coming off too strong too fast… “can i ask you a stupid question?”

something akin to fondness tugs at the remnants of his heart when annya talks about spending time with her family and he vaguely wonders if his eyes ever light up like hers do. he wonders if there’s anything he’ll ever love that much. he finds that his body easily relaxes into her little touches though and he doesn’t even have to force a smile of adoration onto his face as he listens to her speak. maybe there is hope for him after all, he thinks. his brows nearly shoot into his hairline at her suggestion and he’s sort of taken aback. he’s been invited to family dinners before from many other partners, but he’s never once considered it. not until now. his features must betray him in that moment, conveying the fear that he feels, because annya is soon backtracking; she’s soon looking completely unsure of herself. and he hates it. “no, no—” he shakes his head, “not at all. it’s not lame or childish.” he assures her with a light laugh. he’s honored, in fact, but he knows that annya’s family would hate him. the real him, that is. but, then, he soon realizes that he’s jumping the gun and getting worked up over nothing. she’s inviting him to play with her, not her family. he deflates.

he quickly composes himself though (it’s what he’s good at) and beams at her. “if it means anything at all, you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve ever met.” he states. “you’re, dare i say, not like other girls.” he teases, smiling into their kiss. he isn’t one to let anyone truly take the reigns when it comes to his relationships, but he lets her. she moves at her own pace and when she deepens their kiss, he reciprocates happily. he’s debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it when her warmth disappears just as quickly as it came. he hates that he nearly sighs in frustration, but he blames it on him being a young dude. his body isn’t always exactly willing to cooperate. despite that, he’s quick to answer, “anything.” with a nod. “i mean, i’m not sure i’ll be able to answer but i’ll try.” he smiles encouragingly. “and i’m sure it’s not stupid, don’t say that. nothing you say is stupid.” he says, making sure that she has his undivided attention. his breath is trapped in his throat though, unsure of what she’s getting at and unsure if he can even tell the truth.

stcrliqhts‌:

there he was, gorging on his third funnel cake with absolutely no regret. the mix of his body issues and manon’s death had brought out his emotional eating side – strong. “delicious.” he hummed, licking the powdered sugar from his fingertips before his gaze rose, locking on someone quite familiar. “oh, uh, hey.” he muttered, quickly grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off before he moved further down the bench to make room for them. “enjoying yourself?”

“not really.” he sighs, slipping into the seat next to jisun with ease. the bench is large enough for the both of them to fit comfortably, but kian still settles up right next to him, their thighs pressed together. he likes to call it a test to see other people’s boundaries. “what about you?” he asks, not even asking for permission as he snatches a piece of the funnel cake from the plate. is it rude? yes. does kian care? not even a little bit. “why do you think these things are so good?” he suddenly questions, curiosity lacing his words. “i mean... it’s just bread and powdered sugar, right? it’s nothing.” he explains.