I Cried Again Tonight. I Thought I Could Get Through The Night But My Tears Kept On Falling. I've Lost

Cries to degradation you were my separation I don’t know were to go from here.

I spend another night in my lonesome solitude

My very being withering away at the thought of

Losing you.

Please, put an end to this I cry with cold knees

Imprinting the rug that my tears drench as my

Heart is tugged by an invisible string.

The face of love had me crying my eyes out 😭😭😭

Every night just when i look up at the moon, i wonder if he’s looking at it too; and i don’t know what to do.

Somehow, I still love you more.

I’m not scared of loving you; I’m just scared of losing you.

Dear Guardian Angel,

My gums are bleeding

I still haven't eaten

Do you pity me?

Please don't

I do this to myself

I self sabotage when things get better and act like it's the end of the world

I dug my own grave

Do you feel anything at all…

You were assigned to me

I'm sorry

My observer

For all the things you've seen

For all my thoughts you hear

For all the words I utter

And still I hope you can see that this is not truly me

I am is whatever I've seen on tv

I'm a chameleon

I put on a new mask and change it when it cracks

I'm lost

Who am I?

I’m gone

Or am I just done

Sitting with my thoughts alone

In this empty home

Father ignores and mothers on the other side of the world

I'm sure you already know

I mean you know me better than me

Stuck in my apocalypse

Hollow, dark, empty, incomplete, disguised, loveless

Distorted with the painful echo of my screams and cries.

Begging for an escape from my capturer

Me.

I am going to eat 400-500 cals a day omad diet and keto diet .

then fast for 19-24 hrs .

then repeat everyday.

then I am going to walk 2-3 hours a day .

this should help me lose 2 lbs a day or more .

Thats what happened last time I did this diet .

At times, I'm allowed to be not okay, and my feelings are as significant as anyone else's. But why do I keep punishing myself for feeling this way?

…..is there an escape? Is there somewhere?

-An Open Diary