Are You Ever At A Restaurant And Accidentally Make Reference (it Was Not An Accident)

I think some people forget that some literature and some media is meant to be deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It's meant to make you have a very visceral reaction to it. If you genuinely can't handle these stories then you are under no obligation to consume them but acting as if they have no purpose or as if people don't have a right to tell these stories, stories that often relate to the darkest or most disturbing parts of life, then you should do some introspection.

Jashtober day 12: Haiku

I like Chonny Jash

Both covers and originals 

Haikus are easy

Thinking about doing Jashtober but as writing prompts instead of drawing ones. Thoughts?

Love you

Jashtober day 2

The stars speak to me. When I look at them I hear my name. A name that no one knows. My real name. My name was different when I was a little girl. People didn’t even call me a little girl, they called me a little boy. At first I thought they must have been confused, but as I grew, being called by that name seemed to hurt. Every Time I was called handsome I would want to rip out my hair and scream at the tops of my lungs. Why? That was the correct term for me, wasn’t it? When the world seemed to make no sense I would lay on the grass and look at the stars. They always seemed so composed. As if when everything else around me fell into disarray and entropy, they would stay the same. Like an anchor for a boat. As I understood my reality more, the stars were always my safe haven. I could look at them and it’s as if I was sent to a new safer place as I stared. I began to learn why I hated to hate my name. Why I hated being called a boy, because I wasn’t one. Despite their insistence, the world was wrong about me. The realization was exhilarating but horrifying. I knew who I was, but at what cost. The world is seldom kind to those who don’t fit into its preconceptions. I could feel my heartbeat. My breaths clawed out of my chest. Everywhere I looked like it wanted to hurt me. Like an animal ready to pounce. At that moment I looked at the sky and saw the stars. I could hear a word calling down from them. “Astral”, I thought it was a beautiful word. But it wasn’t a word, it was a name. My name. The stars aren’t always out. They are hidden by the oppressive light of the sun. So, whenever I need the support, but they are nowhere to be seen I think of my name. This gift they have afforded me. 

Jashtober day 8: Tidal

The water pulls in and out...

That is how oceans work after all. I’m not going to regale you with an epic story told with far too verbose diction and a pension for self indulgent endings. What I will give you is a regalement of how to start your own life on the tides. Living upon a boat is not for the faint of heart. It takes sturdy legs, a strong stomach, and a touch of insanity in the brain. You have to learn to catch your own fish, because there’s no way in Davy Jones' locker, another member of the crew will share. It’s best not to start as a hothead. No matter how big you are and no matter how good of a fighter you are, there is always someone bigger and someone who’s a better fighter on your boat. It’s also best to ask a captain what their goal is in sailing before joining the ship. If they mention a whale, especially of the white variety, run. It seldom turns out well. Fishing boats are the safest bet, but they're also a dead boring choice and trust me lads, lasses, and lords, you don't wanna be boring. Now those hunting for some almost forgotten treasure are the perfect choice. Sure, there may or may not be the occasional mutiny, but danger is the spice of life. That's about it for living out on the seas. Oh wait, how could i forget. Invest in daggers. All right you scamps, get out there. I assure you it’s much easier than it sounds (after about 43,830 hours).

The instrumentals spooked me so hard when I woke up randomly in the middle of the night. I do like the instrumentals, though, because I use them to fall asleep. Also, a date or dates, I guess. Either way, I'm curious what Chonny's got cooking.

Jashtober Day 1 (ignore the day I actually posted this 😭)

What does it mean to be one? I have asked myself this question more times than I should have, in this not particularly long life. Does being singular require to have no internal inconsistencies or personality changes? Alternatively, is the definition less strict than that? Perhaps, all it takes to be a single individual is a foundational glue holding the zealots and heretics within one’s head from collapse. They continue to pull the strings at my edges as a struggle to hold on. Is this it? Will I be split once more? To be forced through another tour of my mind. To be forced to amuse these deviants. I am me! I am me. I am me….. Am I me?

This may be a little backward compared to how most people see it, but I see Whole as the only true character. Hms are just the facets of what makes this character, and as the story goes on, Heart, Mind, and Soul all become separate characters to Whole before eventually going back to facets when they become Whole.

I also don't think Whole hates any of hms. I think there's hate within the hms circle but none coming from Whole towards a direct member. I'm sure he has some sense of self loathing because of the entropy within his mind but it's not like he would specifically think he hates Heart or Mind or whatever.

And while I think Whole is a character, I think Heart, Mind, and Soul view him as a state. I think they have generally positive feelings towards him but I don't think they'd put him in the same ball park as a deity or something. More like the positive feelings you have towards a personal goal you need to accomplish.

part 5 of the ascertain how the cccc fandom really feels project thing (idc if this is annoying. answer my polls median chonny jash fan.)

DEFINE WHOLE GO NOW

- what is Whole? is Whole a person? a state? is he something to believe in (a god, even)?

- how do hms feel about whole? do they have different opinions? which of them are right? are any of them right? is it subjective?

Once again not a great drawing but I like the idea that mind and soul signed heart's blindfold the same way you would a cast