Writing And Transness My Two Favorite Worldly Desires.
writing and transness my two favorite worldly desires.
I don’t know why I always gravitate back to writing about being trans. On one hand it is quite the unique and different experience and I would add it’s fair to say it’s pretty all encompassing in my life whether I like it or not but it’s not like I don’t have anything else in my life to write about. I could write about my weird need to be independent or how differently I act by myself versus with even my closest companions. I do try to write about those things but then I get distracted and before I know it a week has passed but something weird happens when I write about being part of this strange little group. I’m able to let the words just flow out and almost nothing could distract me from finishing. If I had to guess why this happens I would presume it’s because of how inescapable it has felt in this point of life. I’ve barely just completely grasped my transness about a year ago (though I've been questioning since 10) and I’ve only really toyed with my name which didn’t take long considering I’ve always been weirdly drawn to the name Katherine. Recently for the first time I've had good enough friends I can tell and they’ve been wildly helpful yet still I feel as if I haven’t had enough initiative in a year of fully accepting myself. For make-up I’ve tried lip-stick once when my family were somewhere for a few days and I’ve been doing my nails more frequently but that's about it. I shave my face almost everyday to keep it at bay, but I don’t really have the tools for shaving anywhere else. And for clothes I have done zilch. It’s not like I haven’t done these things out of lack of effort, it's just hard to do them when in a packed house, when in constant fear, and having a lack of expendable income in a slew of more important expenses. With all this writing is my way to express these feelings I can’t in daily life. I’ve never been adequate at drawing and while I have been doodling more, I don’t think I care to really put a ton of work into it. So with the physical medium out of the way that leaves words. I’ve always been very creative with a lot of thoughts yet I’ve never had a great way to express it. I always thought I hated writing. Always forced to write a long drawl of something I truly feel passionless for. The odd free writes were always fun but the piles of essays and grammar mistakes were always there to make sure I always hated writing. Thank the stars, that recently for the first time I had a teacher who made me realize the joy that can come from writing when you care. Sadly that was last year's teacher but the essays don’t feel as grueling to get through and when we’re doing a paragraph on occasion they feel fun. Now with both these discoveries of late, both from last year interesting enough, I have been going through a bit of a change in how i am. For the first time in my life there is a very clear goal to why I should keep going to get out of this house. 1) so I can be who I want to be 2) so I can write. I've promised myself at the very least I’ll try to get myself there. No matter the obstacle no matter the strife I have to try because in the end memento mori.
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I got one of my friends to match with me in Discord. Him as mind and me as heart, and I've never been happier
Guys guys guys (gender neutral!) please send me your chonny jash headcanons and thoughts. I don’t know how to ask this properly but uh. Headcanons and thoughts. On the Australian man’s characters and music. In ask box. Please :3
Don't get me wrong, I love cccc, but I'm so glad we're talking about this. Mind electric is what introduced me to chonny, but the song that made me actually want to check out more was Chonny's Inferno. And even beyond his covers, his original music is fantastic. It took me way too long to listen to gothic whore because no one talks about it and quite frankly it challenges cccc for my favorite album of his. His new originals especially have been so good. To toe deadlines and compelled by hindsight are probably my favorite Chonny songs if not my favorite songs of all time right now. Cccc will always be special to me, but (forgive me for this reference) can we variate these hues.
Aka this whole thing is a cry of help from me asking for more gothic whore fanart from the community.
Chonny Jash fandom stop relating the meaning of every song and lyric to cccc challenge (HARD MODE)
What do you mean I was wrong
Ok, so we can all agree this is the finally ship of theseus, right?
The song actually ended in a way a song would end, the description thanks all the artists, and of course the ship has been completely replaced. From the sails, to the face decoration in the front, and even the sky and ocean aren't the ones from the first artwork.
My guess will be he'll combine them into one very long song tomorrow. Maybe not, but that's what I think.
@piereoglyphics hmm OK! Just this once, I'll give advantage for being Mind coded
Oooh close one! With advantage that's a 19 - that almost went a lot worse....
![Two comic panels of Mind. The player is in first-person, their hand reaching to poke him. In the first panel, Mind is hunched with his face in shadow except for eyes and teeth, and his hand is raised. In the second panel, Mind is straightened, looking sternly at the player. His hand is closed around the player's wrist. Text reads, "[I don't suggest trying that again - if you value keeping every digit.]"](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e670f3c2ac4d5e5850aa572c274a0244/eb02493ee2a631eb-29/s500x750/63b2cc8148106e0f5e187ba0669e69043cfef0e9.png)
Trying to prove a point to my transphobic parents
Reblog if trans men are REAL, VALID AND HANDSOME MEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS
Reblog if trans women are REAL, VALID, AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS
And finally, because it's a part of my argument for this point, and also because they are,
Reblog if nonbinary and genderqueer people in general, are REAL, VALID, AND GORGEOUS PEOPLE, NO MATTER HOW THEY PASS
Pride month writing thing (specifically transfem :3)
The small droplets of water ran down my cheek. From the water radiated comfort. Not a release of dismay but of elation. My watered eyes, for the first time in what feels longer than my memory can withstand, wept tears of joy and not repression, or pain or stress or anything like that. In the mirror I do not see a hurt sad boy, but a strong brave woman. Despite all the hate she got. Despite all the friends and family she sadly left behind. Despite the countless doctor appointments that felt like they went nowhere. Despite the anxiety of going out dressed in a way that felt real and right. Despite the nonsense politics. Despite her own lack of faith she would or even could survive. Despite everything she stood happy and proud. Through all the change I could still see the person I once was, the once sad boy. From the boy I saw not fear but relief. Despite what my parents had told me, I had not killed the boy. The boy was never real. The boy was nothing more than a mask and after all this time there stood the person who was always underneath. The girl smiled. I smiled. Happy pride month.
This is a fucking nightmare
They're right there
Jashtober day 5: Angel
What have I done? I shot at him. I had to. His assessments. His methods. The vile trite he spews, then turns around and acts like it’s wisdom. He claims he will pull us into the light ,yet I see where this path leads in the end. Either the body dies from the soul’s exhaustion or the soul dies in order to keep the body going. Leaving an empty cadaver with only computer parts left inside to keep its joints from rusting and its eyes still blinking. I’d been practicing for weeks. First I attempted echolocation (I got surprisingly good, but not shooting a gun accurately, good). Then I tried shooting a dummy point blank (I realized after a few days of testing that method, mind would totally just smack it out of my hand). So I finally decided on just shooting it in the general direction of his voice. It did not work. So I’m stuck in this hole. Mind despises me more than ever and I’ve lost soul’s trust. What have I done?
Two wuv is a good choice
I didn't even know you liked dead man's sea shanty
Best Chonny song :3
Also you can throw in your favorite Yard Act song if you want ig 🙄 /j
Imo, Chonny's best Original Song is Dead Man's Sea Shanty, but their best Cover song is Two Wuv
And I don't have a favourite Yard Act song, but according to Spotify statistics my most listened to song Of All Time is Dream Job, so I'll go with that
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she/her :) I acknowledge my flaws, which in a way shows my perfection. Pfp by @saturn-rays
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