This Mere Chaotic Peace Between Wanting To Be The Greatest And Wanting To Rot In The Room All Alone For

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

“I’ll only marry the man who can guess which is my favourite stone on the whole sea-shore.”

— Marina Tsvetaeva, from “Art in the Light of Conscience: Eight Essays on Poetry,”

Franz Wright, from God's Silence; "Why Is the Winter Light"

[Text ID: Empty me of the bitterness and disappointment of being nothing but myself]

I’m Not/I Am

I’m Not…

I’m not the girl who would tie your tongue.

I’m not the girl who turns your head.

I’m not the girl you’d ask to prom

Or even on a date.

I’m not the girl who likes frills and lace.

I’m not the girl who’d be flirty or flighty.

I’m not the girl who you would daydream about.

I’m not the girl who everyone sees,

The one who beams beauty, radiance, and so carefree.

I’m not the one to be in the foreground.

I’m not visible to anyone.

I Am…

I am the girl you’d pass in the halls,

Who’d probably like you from afar, but never say a word.

I am the girl who’d sketch or write,

My words never reaching your heart or eyes.

I’m the girl who stands in the rain

That mixes with her tears and drowns out her cries.

I am the girl who is always the second choice.

Why on earth would I ever be the first?

I am the girl some would torment

Because I’m different and hide in the background.

I’m the girl that’s invisible to you.

The one you’d never remember until we meet again.

2021/12/01

Maybe it's time to take a step back.

All I've built does not sit right with me anymore.

Everything I believed to be one of my key truths isn't actually what it should have been.

It made everything seem like a transient moment.

That's why I feel so lost.

I couldn't fathom this realization,my mind was keeping it from me until I was ready to welcome and accept it.

It is considerably unalike the way it felt years ago.

I feel void but so full and overwhelmed by my emotions.

My emotions.How strange it sounds to be able to openly display them both to my own self snd to others.

It makes me proud.

~

There's also hurt in there.

I can't shake this overwhelming flow of emotions that is burning within me.

I wouldn't give it up for anything in this world,neverthless I feel powerless.

I am supposed to start anew.How is that supposed to be done?

Am I still the person I believe I am?

Is there more that wants to come out of its abyss?

When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel (via perfeqt)

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions — as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.

Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science (via philosophybits)

[ 중요한 영어 어휘 ] encourage / encouraging / encouragement

[ 중요한 영어 어휘 ] encourage / encouraging / encouragement

이번 강의에서는 영어에서 일상적으로 자주 쓰이지만 우리나라 사람들에게는 어렵게 느껴지는 많은 단어 중 하나인 “encourage / encouraging / encouragement”에 …

View On WordPress

“I suggest that the only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet got ourselves.”

—

E. M. Forster (1879-1970) English novelist, essayist, critic, librettist

#DiaryOfAGirlMisunderstood

The Letter I was Afraid to Send

It wasn’t that the feeling for you wasn’t there. It wasn’t that the love I have for you was momentary and based on temporary stimulations - I just wasn’t ready.

Thank you for being who you are, for the man you are. I wasn’t ready for the direction you were heading in. I wasn’t ready to hold your hand and be your eyes when you lose your way. I wasn’t ready to be part of a storyline that I felt I felt I had no part in.

Parts of me were scared of you, scared of the depths that exist within you. My own biggest fear was that my own inhibitions would throw rocks on your path and slow you down from getting to your destination. I was scared my flaws hindered you from being the man you want to be. I was scared that my own shortcomings would become your shortcomings because pain has a way becoming contagious when you’re in a relationship with someone who feels as deep as you do.

At that time, I felt that I was being considerate. Now I realize how selfish I was I can admit I should’ve been better and that you definitely deserve better