By Nathanaelbillings

By Nathanaelbillings
By Nathanaelbillings

by nathanaelbillings

More Posts from Kaleidoscopechaos827 and Others

2 weeks ago

staying close w people long distance really is about the mundane stuff. i get texts like "made quesadillas" "spilled mop water all over the floor :(" "lady on the bus has not one not two but three tiny dogs in her purse" andits like wow. i love you more than words can express

1 month ago
𝕙𝕖π•ͺ! π• π•‘π•–π•Ÿ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖π•ͺ𝕖𝕀, π•π• π• π•œ 𝕦𝕑. π”Όπ•Ÿπ•›π• π•ͺ

𝕙𝕖π•ͺ! π• π•‘π•–π•Ÿ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖π•ͺ𝕖𝕀, π•π• π• π•œ 𝕦𝕑. π”Όπ•Ÿπ•›π• π•ͺ π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•˜π• π• π•• π•₯π•™π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜π•€ π•šπ•Ÿ π•π•šπ•—π•–β€¦


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7 months ago

You don't need to know why you're a system. You don't need to know your origin. You're still worthy of acceptance without knowing

6 months ago
digital fanart of Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss from Critical Role, having dinner and a heated discussion at the same time.

Caleb is a light-skinned thin human in his forties; his dark red hair is swept back, and there is a touch of white at his temples and in his full beard. he is dressed in a white shirt, the embroidered collar open and the sleeves rolled up to reveal the regularly spaced long-healed scars on his forearms.

Essek is a young-looking slender drow with dusky lavender skin and shoulder-length white hair, which is curled in a swirl and pinned back neatly. he is dressed in a low-necked black shirt and a dark blue silk robe over it.

they're sitting at a dinner table, cluttered with both food and various books and scrolls. there is a woven bread basket, a peach and a plum lying next to each other, an inkwell with a quill, an open book next to Essek. Caleb is rubbing his jaw pensively with his right hand, pointing at something on a sheet of parchment in front of him with his left index finger, having pushed his half-finished bowl of soup to the side. Essek is sitting close to Caleb, holding a spoon in his left hand over his own bowl of soup and about to bite down on a slice of crusty bread in his right. he is looking at whatever Caleb is pointing at, leaning forward and listening intently. there is a calico cat in his lap, her mischivieous face just visible over the edge of the table, and she is trying to swipe some bread crumbs closer to herself with a paw.

the color scheme is warm and bright, as if the room is lit with afternoon sun, and the semi-realistic rendering is done with wide textured strokes.

i feel like no amount of labeling and marie kondo-ing their cottage would stop Essek and Caleb's dinner table from becoming a research table as well

tip jar


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As we've learned more about what it means to be a system, and to share a life with multiple people in one brain and one body, one of the many things we've come to accept is that we don't always get to know who's fronting and who's saying or doing something. Sometimes someone (we have no idea who) will take over for less than ten seconds just to make a ridiculous sound and send everyone else into a giggle fit XD


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3 weeks ago

u know what makes me lowkey sad? when someone saysΒ β€˜i know it seems silly’ before talking about something they clearly care very deeply about bc u know that means someone gave them shit for caring that much about that thing before which is Fucked Up.


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2 months ago

one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than anΒ β€œalternate neurotype”) is the stress.Β 

part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.

and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me iΒ β€œjust need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’tΒ β€œjust get over”. i can doΒ β€œself care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.

No shade to op, in fact I understand and respect where you're coming from. I personally would just be careful with the phrasing here, because it sounds like what you're saying is that some systems are faking which, even if they were, saying so causes a lot more harm than good

Instead, how I personally would go about this particular topic is that if you are a system, then there's probably something you don't remember, or something that you haven't recognized as trauma, or you have a lot of processing ahead of you, so maybe be gentle with yourself, and be open to the possibility that maybe things actually were that bad, and you weren't being dramatic, and you were hurt that badly

But that's just my thoughts. I wish everyone the best of luck on their journeys through this tangled world

PSA

This is your reminder that OSDDID and systems cannot form without trauma, endogenic systems are not a real thing. If you do not have trauma, then you do not have a system.

-Barty&Marlene


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