Boop ~(=^‥^)ノ✨

I'm so fascinated by languages with different levels of formality built in because it immediately introduces such complex social dynamics. The social distance between people is palpable when it's built right into the language, in a way it's not really palpable in English.

So for example. I speak Spanish, and i was taught to address everyone formally unless specifically invited otherwise. People explained to me that "usted" was formal, for use with strangers, bosses, and other people you respect or are distant from, while "tú" is used most often between family and good friends.

That's pretty straightforward, but it gets interesting when you see people using "tú" as a form of address for flirting with strangers, or for picking a fight or intimidating someone. In other languages I've sometimes heard people switch to formal address with partners, friends or family to show when they are upset. That's just so interesting! You're indicating social and emotional space and hierarchy just in the words you choose to address the other person as "you"!!

Not to mention the "what form of address should I use for you...?" conversation which, idk how other people feel about it, but to me it always felt awkward as heck, like a DTR but with someone you're only just becoming comfortable with. "You can use tú with me" always felt... Weirdly intimate? Like, i am comfortable around you, i consider you a friend. Like what a vulnerable thing to say to a person. (That's probably also just a function of how i was strictly told to use formal address when i was learning. Maybe others don't feel so weird about it?)

And if you aren't going to have a conversation about it and you're just going to switch, how do you know when? If you switch too soon it might feel overly familiar and pushy but if you don't switch soon enough you might seem cold??? It's so interesting.

Anyway. As an English-speaking American (even if i can speak a bit of Spanish), i feel like i just don't have a sense for social distance and hierarchy, really, simply because there isn't really language for it in my mother tongue. The fact that others can be keenly aware of that all the time just because they have words to describe it blows my mind!

Before sunrise

I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.

If nobody ever explained this to you, if someone you see a lot does something you like and you never ever tell them that, they might think you don’t like them or don’t like the things they do for you.

what up witches

to have failed is a sign you tried…. the mistakes, the relationships that didn’t make it, the job you didn’t get, the plans that fell through…. you tried, you lived, you loved.

Socializing as someone who is extremely strange has gotten a lot easier for me when I realized that the people who's opinions really matter to me aren't going to leave me or be mad at me just because I used the wrong phrasing or didn't have the right expression on my face when I said something and whatever other stuff like that. The people that really matter will stick around and celebrate the way we exist together, goblin noises and all

Can confirm this actually works

I was in some intense burn out for over a year, every day was a fight to get myself to do anything, and one of the many micro adjustments I made that helped me get out of it was giving myself permission to not worry about the pile of things that feel impossible, and just do what feels good in the moment. Lying down and taking a nap, taking a shower, eating a little treat, talking to the people that brought me comfort, cuddling my stuffed animals, making creature noises to shake the knots out

I wouldn't have been able to get to the point where I could take a shower or buy myself a little treat if I didn't rest first, give myself permission to say fuck it, it doesn't matter right now, I want a nap, and just lying down with my eyes closed even if I couldn't actually sleep

After that, each step gets easier

Please let yourself rest, it's literally the most important part

this randomly blew up on twitter so i figured i’d post it here bc lord knows everyone on this app is neurodivergent