Have You Ever Heard Of Wonder? That Wonder

Hotwife Lifestyle - The Two Best Tricks to Getting Her on Board with Your Fantasy

We get this question a lot, in various forms, from the readers of our blog… “how can I get my wife on board with my Hotwife fantasy?”.  Why is this question so common? It’s because most of the time women will have objections to the idea of going outside of the relationship or marriage for intimacy, whether that’s physical or emotional.  Women are, dare I say, programmed to want to find that one special person who is able to be our “rock”, our “protector” and our “one and only”, and likewise, we tend to expect the same in return.  The idea of being with another man is in opposition to this “programming”.  

Now, I’m not suggesting that you begin attempting to systematically “reprogram” your wife…even though that’s partially true when it comes to this stuff.  What I am suggesting is that there are two things that have been proven to work in MANY situations, not just figuring out a way to get your wife to sleep with the sexy “boy next door”, and those two things are “listening” and “reassurance”.  

Listening

It sounds easy, but this is a very difficult thing for most aspiring Hotwife-Husbands to do.  They have this insanely amazing sexual fantasy that gets them hotter than anything else in the world, and it revolves around their wives, so why in the world would it be a problem?  Men are analytical thinkers, and it’s likely that you’ve already come up with a thousand reasons why your wife “should” be okay with the Hotwife lifestyle, and when she offers up objections, you have an entire list of rebuttals that you can choose from to make her argument seem moot.  But is this the best approach?  No.  In fact it’s ultimately extremely counterproductive.    

When your wife is telling you what scares her, worries her, or makes her question the lifestyle, instead of coming up with counterpoints to her feelings (often times before she’s even finished telling you about them), try to just clear your mind and listen to her. This is key…listen actively.  What does that mean?  It means that you can’t be thinking of what you’re going to say next while she is talking, you have to be fully engaged in what she is saying when she is saying it.  Trust me when I say that, as women, we can ABSOLUTELY tell the difference between a man who is actively listening to us and one who is listening, but has a mind filled with a list of things he’s planning to say next.  

Listening is also a great tool for you, as a Husband or Partner, when it comes to introducing the lifestyle, because you can actually see exactly what she has objections to and think critically about those things in particular.  How might you be able to alleviate those very specific fears that she may have? Can you see an underlying theme to the objections that she is raising that you may be able to address?  Are you, maybe, able to learn something about your own fantasies that you didn’t realize before – like maybe it is a little dangerous to want your wife to have sex with a stranger in a bar bathroom?  Trust me when I say that your wife or partner is going to suddenly feel as though she’s won the “partner lottery” if you start to listen to her actively, and this is going to allow her to analyze her own feelings more easily instead of constantly having to be on the “defensive”. She’s going to feel “truly heard”, and this is the first step to being able to open her mind to new things.  

Reassurance

Once you’ve listened to your wife or partner “actively” and you’ve actually considered and tried to understand her objections from an impartial standpoint, now is the time to re-evaluate your desires – no, I’m not saying to “give them up”, I’m suggesting that you look at them critically and make sure that they are all realistic for your specific life and your partner’s life – and at this point you can begin to reassure her.  

What is reassurance? It’s not just telling someone “Don’t worry, everything will be okay”.  It’s far more than that, actually…it’s telling someone that you understand their feelings (and not just using the words “I understand”, but actually explaining HOW you understand), you’ve thought about them, they’ve made some good points, and you’d like to discuss what YOU HAVE LEARNED from what they had to say.  Show your wife or partner that you have actually taken something away from what they have said to you, that, maybe, they were able to open your eyes a little bit – this will give your lady a sense that she may have actually had something worthwhile to say.  She will no longer be on the defensive, suddenly she’ll feel like part of a team.

This will also help with any jealousy that your wife may be dealing with, or fears that you may actually be using this whole thing as a ploy to “get some” of your own someday.  The mere act of being emotionally open and vulnerable with your lady, and reassuring her that above all else she is number one and this fantasy pales in comparison to your love for her and your desire to understand her feelings is going to actually MAKE her WANT to do this for you.  If she knows that you’re willing to give up something that makes her uncomfortable if it comes to that - whether it’s “that friendship with the cute coworker at the office” (as one of our fans recently mentioned) or your entire Hotwife fantasy, your lady is going to realize that she is the most important thing in your world, and that reassurance will make her a lot more receptive to “giving up” certain things of her own…like her reservations to being a Hotwife.  

This is the point at which you can start giving your lady some of your own thoughts on how you think you could make this lifestyle work for the both of you.  Incredibly, something that was scary and made your lady feel “alone” is now something that you’re thinking about doing together.  She understands that you’re willing to “listen” and make some concessions, and in turn that’s going to allow her to be more open to “listening” and making some concessions.  With this approach, you’ll find that you’re suddenly embarking on an adventure together and you’ll have a lady who is a lot more likely to want to come to a resolution that works for both of you.  

So…”active listening” and “reassurance” are going to be your two new best friends when it comes to getting your lady on board with being a Hotwife.  Try it out…what have you got to lose?  😊

-S

Swastika stockings.

Stumbled on this vintage occult bookplate and print from the plate while at the flea market today. Would have bought it except it was out of my price range.

As per the dealer, it’s from the 1920’s and “very occult, some dark stuff.” …sir, you have no idea who you’re talking to 😂

The longer you look at it, the more stuff starts popping out, like a magical I Spy!

If you recognize this or know where it’s from, let me know!