Finally! A decent amount of rain. It's been such a dry spring
21-May-2023
—I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. —Edgar Allan Poe.
Rosa, VTMB.
Every time I sleep the future plays out before me. I know the ending... it will end over and over until I cease to dream.
jasmine.
I actually wrote something new and long (for me). I was doing dishes when I got inspired. Please note this is explicit. So under 18s please shoo.
Bffs to lovers, fatphobia, plus size reader, mentions of alcohol, aspectrum!Billy, oral (f receiving), language, possessiveness, fem!reader.
1.2k+.
Tagging; @e-dubbc11 @terry2227 @kayhi808 @firexfate @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @snowkestrel @aoi-targaryen @thejanecampaign @danzer8705
Billy wasn’t watching his best friend discreetly, watching you laugh at that fuck boys joke as if he wasn’t trying to get into your pants, as if he could ever treat you like the treasure you were. Billy hadn’t wanted to go to the bar tonight. He wanted to be with you at home.
Was it too much to ask that you spend Friday night at his apartment watching the Witcher and drinking wine as you got progressively drunker, leaning into him making him feel all kinds of warm.
He wasn’t thinking of how you smelled of jasmine, and the warmth of your skin, and how he’d like to feel your thick thighs squeezing his face.
He shot, and the ball went into the hole, and Billy decided then he would have you.
He just had to get rid of Ryan.
You stepped into the unisex bathroom, wishing you’d just gone over to Billy’s tonight. You weren’t sure you could take another “make me a sandwich” joke. Or the way he kept trying to fondle you under the table like you were a piece of meat.
“Lucky I found ya, no one wants a fatty.” You’d shrunk when he said that, thinking of Billy.
Ryan had been eying a pretty redhead anyway, you weren’t stupid. He thought you were a charity case.
You looked up as you took a step into the bathroom. Ryan had the pretty young redhead pinned against the wall, aggressively making out with her.
He looked up at you, his face smeared with sparkly pink lip gloss and his hair mussed up, and she had her leg around his hip.
You walked out, heart aching.
You wandered over to Billy two hours later after glass after glass of wine at the bar, eyes downcast. “Hey, mouse.” He hummed, throwing an arm around your shoulders, pool stick in his hand.
You leaned against his side. “Can we go to your apartment and have wine, and play rummy?” You asked, nudging his side playfully, a giggle escaping.
Billy scoffed, eyebrows raising, “So you can cheat?” He said, downing his whiskey.
“Mhm. Then we can cuddle.” You said into his sweater, squeezing his hips. He smelled like vanilla, comforting and familiar.
“Is that what we do?” He husked, lips turning up, and eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Absolutely. You’re better than my teddy bear, Mr. Snuffles.” You tilted your head up at him, leaning on your tippy toes, kissing the corner of his mouth.
You didn’t need to tell him twice.
You dug through his pockets to his amusement as you both stood in the elevator. You were such a child.
But you found what you were looking for, a sweet caramel candy he always kept in his pockets.
“There’s a candy tax on that.” Billy said as you unwrapped it.
You looked up, eyes wide, pausing; “Tax?” You asked, leaning closer.
“Yeah. I need one kiss for that.” He said, straight faced.
You giggled, and leaned against him, kissing him, your mouth parted, tasting whiskey and nicotine.
His fingers slid into your hair, stealing your breath with the way he kissed you, like you were desirable.
When he pulled back you were both breathless. The elevator dinged and you pulled him out into the hallway, an ache between your thighs that threatened to set you on fire.
He set his keys down on the counter, turning the lights on in the penthouse.
“Billy?” You asked from behind him.
“Hmm?” He asked, turning to you, shrugging out of his coat.
“I want you.” You said, “I keep looking for you in other men, but I can’t find it.” You spoke in a rush, eyes not quite looking at him.
Billy paused, “You know I’ll give you anything you want, mouse.” His voice was low, warm even. “But I might not wanna give you back.”
Your eyes came to life, as you pulled him down for another kiss.
“Can I taste you?” You asked in between kisses, lying on his bed, his leg between your trembling thighs. You instinctively rubbed on him, trying to find some relief.
Billy hummed, “I’d rather eat you out, sweet pea.” He said, stroking your thighs, before flipping you over onto the bed, and caging you in against the pillows as you squeaked.
He hated being touched. He preferred to give rather than receive if it was with someone he cared about. Ever since Arthur, he’d hated touch. Sex with previous lovers had been a tool, but he’d hated it. He didn’t want it to be that way with you. You, who always got him a new stuffed animal every time you went to a department store. You, who always held his hand in your lap on car rides, playing with the silvery scars on his palm, feeding his need for casual intimacy that wasn’t sex.
“Lay back, imma take care of that needy cunt.” He teased you, eyes darkly inviting.
His dark eyes threatened to swallow you whole. You hoped someday he’d let you touch him, to taste him. But god, as he dragged your hips across the bed to devour you, you were sure he’d ruin you.
“Let me see what you taste like between my teeth, mouse,” he husked as you tried to pull your dress back down, laying in his silk sheets, drunk off his kisses and wine.
It brought back all the fantasies you’d had of Billy. Of the dark figure who forced your pleasure from you, who’d taunted you about enjoying your own ruination. You tangled your fingers in Billy’s dark hair, trembling as his beard scratched your thighs.
He wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer, burying his face in your warm, wet heat. “Oh, god.” You mumbled, toes curling looking up into the lights that seemed all too much and too bright. You looked away.
“Yeah?” He husked, fingers teasing your slick folds, eyes dark like pits. The tip of his tongue teased you, making you whine. He laughed when you pushed his head back down, wrapping your thighs around his head.
You barely recognized your hitching gasps and moans as you rode his face, and he growled, “This pussy’s mine. No one gets to taste it but me.”
He looked up at you, face glistening with your arousal. “Isn’t that right, mouse?” He asked, voice dangerously soft. He let his teeth scrape your clit, and you saw stars, unable to stop the powerful climax that ripped through you.
He watched you doze in his arms, while he played with your hair, a longing in his chest that had threatened to consume him satisfied for now. A contentment stirring within him making him drowsy. His eyes were hooded, as he gazed at you with something he wasn’t ready to put a name to just yet.
He’d always wanted more, more, more. But you satisfied some part of him that had thirsted for love, a part he’d long denied himself, but your tenderness had him hooked on you, never having received that in foster care. His foster father in particular had been hard, often using a belt on Billy whenever he’d disappointed him.
He’d never liked being touched, especially after his sexual abuse, and sex had been his tool to get what he wanted from lovers. But not so with you. But still, he’d rather give to you than receive.
His eyes closed. You were his. He had something of his own.
hi, sorry, I just wanted to ask, and this is prolly going to sound super dumb, are authors chill with people commenting on their old fanfics and stuff?
just want to make sure that I'm not inadvertently being annoying
I believe I speak for most authors when I say they’ll never be annoyed by any positive comments from their readers
BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD. Once you're given this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing happens but it's sweet to know so. I think you're beautiful inside and outside ❤️🥰
🩷 Right back at you, my friend. I think of you often, even though I’m not as active lately. I’d like to be but it seems I’m sick again, so other than reblogging, writing wears me out so I’ve paused until I feel better, but I always look forward to your stories, especially with Mr. Russo. ♥️
I hope you have a Merry Christmas!! 🎄
There was this Good Samaritan, used to volunteer at the Ray of Hope Group Home. That’s where I was placed at the time. We used to play stickball, hoops, whatever. He’d been going there for years, I mean, we all thought he was so cool. I guess I must’ve been ten, eleven at the time. Let’s just say I wasn’t interested in the kind of games he had in mind.
Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Leonard Woolf, featured in The Selected Letters of Virginia Woolf
36. | because we are living in a material world, and I am a material kitty. | my cat, probably. Masterlist I
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