Can’t Wait For The Hand O God To Strip Me Naked And Smother Me In Savory Bbq Sauce. Mmmmmmmm Boy I

Chat they made Minecraft into a silly goofy cringe movie even through Minecraft is actually about life and earth and the universe and tearing meaning out of the ground and molding it with your hands into something that you can be proud of. They made the pink sheep look ugly and funny for a cheap laugh when it should’ve been a beautiful moment where you, age eleven, come across this rarity, this beautiful anomaly and you hold its face in your hands and stare into its chocolate brown eyes and you realize what the whole world is about. Chat they made it into a joke

“it’s not about you and me. it’s about us” i say to the tailgating F150 behind me as i stomp on the brakes.

*rhetorically* why tf is this wierd app so wierd?

obama on linked in be like “hello….. i am .. former president. barack. … obama. … and i am. …. hashtag. open to work.”

one must imagine sisyphus having a rewarding career

one must imagine sisyphus locking in

*my dad, taking about going to the symphony*: … it’s like going to a punk show. everyone’s gotta do it at least once.

dowsing rod but for cum

i’m the laboratory. straight up “doing it”. and but “it”, haha well. let’s justr say. my experiments.

Citing “person et al” is giving band name. Like me and the besties sciencing together <3

Free* House!!!!!

(*one (1) savage beating per month)