TRAINER KÖNIG
sfw + nsfw. sucking könig's humongous titties. big cock. shower sex. semi-public. non-fluent könig.
it was a practical decision, you told yourself, scrolling past flashy advertisements for gyms promising overnight transformations, past testosterone-fueled testimonials about “beast mode” and “grindset.”
you'd sworn to yourself that as soon as you had the financial breathing room, as soon as you didn’t have to mentally calculate whether a dinner out would set you back for the week, you’d do it. invest in yourself. not in aesthetics, not in performance metrics, but in survival.
something that made you feel safer so that walking home late at night wouldn’t always feel like a loaded gun pressed to the base of your spine. you wouldn’t keep your keys between your fingers like they were some flimsy excuse for a weapon.
you found a coach who was within budget, someone named könig. a straightforward profile without a profile picture and just a handful of mid-range reviews.
it was genuine in its mediocrity, not glowing in the way bot-generated reviews tended to be, but not riddled with horror stories of scams or half-baked lessons either. people mentioned that he knew what he was doing, that he was patient, that his methods were effective.
but there were a few comments about his communication too. his english, more specifically.
at first, you were more nervous about looking weak than anything else.
logically, you knew that was the point. that was why you were paying for this— to get stronger, to learn. but the thought of stepping into a room filled with people who could probably bench your body weight while you struggled with a 25 kg deadlift made something inside you shrivel. made you feel like you’d be under a microscope, mistakes magnified. the thought of someone watching you fumble through drills, assessing your form— the potential for ridicule made your stomach knot up.
so, you signed up for solo lessons.
before you even met him, könig messaged you. a late-night notification breaking through the dim glow of your phone screen.
“is it ok that my english is not so good?”
you blinked at the screen. read it again. there was something unexpectedly… earnest about it. a self-consciousness that you rhymed with your own.
your thumbs hovered over the keyboard before you replied. “of course! i don’t mind at all.” then, after a second, “i’ll probably learn some phrases from you, haha.”
a long pause. three dots appeared, disappeared, reappeared. finally— “this is nice. i will try my best.”
something about that, about the fact that he had asked at all, the careful way he phrased it, stuck with you. you didn't know why, but it did.
the first time you met könig, you nearly turned around and walked straight back out the door, convinced your coach still hadn’t arrived.
at first, you genuinely thought you had the wrong room. or maybe there’d been some kind of mix-up, like another instructor using the space before your lesson.
you had walked into the gym expecting— what? some average-looking guy in a compression shirt? maybe a little bulky, maybe with that particular kind of gym-rat energy, all tight smiles and way-too-enthusiastic handshakes.
instead you got könig.
a massive, six-foot something, tank built like something that was meant to withstand damage and then deliver it back tenfold.
his hoodie, loose on his frame and looking a bit worse for wear from too many washes, still did nothing to hide the sheer scale of him. the water bottle he was holding was dwarfed by his hand and his arms, even relaxed at his sides, looked like they could crush a man’s ribs without much effort.
out of place. that was what he looked like. less self-defense coach and more guard stationed at the gates of hell.
you hesitated in the doorway, gripping the strap of your gym bag, suddenly hyperaware of every muscle in your body tensing up.
and then he spoke.
"… my client?” his voice was surprisingly soft. deep, yes, but smoothed down with the lilt of his accent.
you had to crane your neck to meet his eyes. jesus christ.
“uh, yeah, i think so,” you shifted on your feet, clearing your throat. “i booked the solo slots.”
he nodded. “good.” a pause. then, “you are… beginner?”
you exhaled sharply, not quite a laugh. “you could say that.”
his eyes smiled, something in the creases looking like amusement, before he jerked his head toward the back of the gym. “we start slow then.”
the whole thing went… surprisingly well.
könig was an amazing instructor for self-defense, not afraid to teach you moves that were downright dirty. not just the textbook counters or polished techniques that looked good in demonstrations but the kind of violence that left real damage. moves that could end a fight before it even started. his lessons were brutal in their practicality, built for survival, not sport.
his shrug always came before the skepticism could leave your mouth, as if he already knew the doubts forming behind your eyes. anticipation sat in his expression, waiting for you to question the practicality of a move that involved hitting someone's throat or breaking a wrist. waiting for that flicker of hesitation so he could counter it.
“has no rules, defense,” he simply told you, adjusting his gloves with a nonchalance that felt at odds with the destruction he'd just inflicted on the poor training dummy. his foot still pressed into its broken torso, the material caved inward like a crushed can. “s’long as you're safe, is good tactic.”
it was truth that didn’t need embellishment to him. könig wasn’t just saying it to justify his methods— it was a simple fact.
he made it seem less brutal, more justified. not just an excuse for violence but a reassurance, a lesson in survival.
it had you thinking if maybe you had been seeing things too rigidly, measuring combat in terms of right and wrong instead of what kept you breathing. könig didn’t. his world wasn’t one of fairness, it was of outcomes.
you exhaled, glancing at the poor, ruined dummy before looking back at him. “i think you broke it.”
könig tilted his head, unbothered. “hm. ja.” then, after a pause, he grinned, nudging the dummy’s crumpled remains with his boot like it might suddenly spring back to life. “but was good form, yes?”
the laugh that bubbled up caught you off guard, an unexpected burst of warmth. the corners of his grin lifted just a little higher at that.
texting started out as a necessity. scheduling changes, clarifying techniques, occasional reminders about bringing extra wraps. that was the whole point, really— a way to communicate outside of training.
somehow, though, könig turned out to be a menace over text. sarcasm practically dripped from his messages, sharpened now that he had the time to translate things properly. he was witty, sometimes outright ridiculous, and the sheer absurdity of his jokes caught you off guard more times than you could count.
könig: i think i have unlocked a new level of muscle soreness. my body is rejecting me. i am a broken man.
you: rip. gone and forgotten.
könig: good. don't tell my story. it's kind of pathetic.
“könig,” you typed one evening. “where the hell did you learn english?”
“the internet.”
immediate suspicion flooded your mind. “what part of the internet?”
“…the bad part.”
“be more specific.”
“ah…” there was a long pause, like he was regretting his choices. finally, “weird forums.”
apprehension curled at the base of your spine. “what kind of weird forums, könig?”
“…conspiracy theories.”
sheer, undiluted disbelief clung to you as you stared at your screen.
“WAIT” he backpedaled immediately, as if he could feel your judgment through the phone. “i was a child!!”
“A CHILD IN CONSPIRACY FORUMS?”
“it was not like that!!”
his frantic response only made you laugh harder. “then explain.”
“i was just reading, yes? stories. people told very cool stories. aliens, secret government projects, ghosts”
“oh my god, you were a cryptid kid.”
“nein!!”
amusement bloomed in your chest. “so what i’m hearing is you were, like, deep in the trenches. lizard people? JFK clone theories? the moon isn’t real?”
“…yes.”
“jesus christ.”
“it was fun!! and good english practice!”
“you learned english from paranoid men on the internet.”
“they were very passionate.”
laughter ripped through your chest so violently you nearly dropped your phone. könig sent a series of increasingly exasperated texts, all variations of “stop laughing”, which only made it worse.
every time you thought about it after that, a fresh wave of giggles overtook you. the next training session, you couldn’t even meet his eyes without picturing tiny könig hunched over an old computer, nodding solemnly as someone named TruthSeeker88 explained how the queen of england was actually a reptilian overlord.
he hated you for it. “you are evil,” he muttered when you brought it up again, shoving your shoulder lightly. “this is slander.”
“is it slander if it’s true?”
“YES.”
somewhere along the way, little snapshots of your lives started slipping into the conversation. könig sent blurry photos of his boots kicked up on a table, a war documentary playing in the background. “history lesson,” he’d caption, like he wasn’t watching something unreasonably brutal for fun. you sent the sky from your morning walk, pink bleeding into gold, and he always responded with a simple “pretty.”
you weren’t sure if he meant the sky or something else, but you let yourself wonder.
and then, selfies.
his were always shy, half-obscured, like he couldn’t quite bring himself to let you see too much despite the fact that you saw each other every week. the lower half of his face, mostly— jawline tucked into the shadows, the soft curve of a grin barely visible.
sometimes it was just his hands: wrapped around a steaming mug, fingers long and scarred, or flexed absentmindedly over his knee, veins shifting beneath pale skin. you never commented on them outright, just sent something casual— “cozy” or “nice gloves, old man”— but you always saved them, tucked away in your camera roll like little guilty pleasures.
yours were much less subtle in comparison.
exhausted post-workout, slumped against your couch with a dead-eyed stare. wrapped up in a hoodie, coffee in hand. the first time you sent one, you didn’t expect much. maybe a quick “good job” or some kind of fitness advice. instead, he sent “cute.”
you stared at the message for a full minute, blinking. your stomach did something stupid.
after that, he started commenting more. when you looked particularly grumpy, he’d send a teasing “you need nap, bird?” or “angry face. very scary.” and when you groaned about soreness, he was smug about it, “should have stretched. tsk tsk.”
it was cute. unbearably cute.
but all good things must come to an end.
one month. that’s how long this was supposed to last. four weeks of training, a neat little package of lessons that would leave you more capable of handling yourself in a fight. somewhere along the way, that timeline stretched, bending under the weight of something neither of you dared acknowledge.
könig should have cut you off weeks ago.
“you are expert already,” he tells you one evening, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed. his tone is light, teasing, but there’s a hint of real curiosity beneath it. “i do not think class is needed. why do you keep taking?”
hesitation flickers in your chest. because of you, you want to admit, but the words sit heavy on your tongue, too risky, too exposing. instead, you roll your shoulders back and offer something easier, something safer.
“i need to beat you first.”
amusement dances across his features. könig huffs out a quiet chuckle, tilting his head as if considering the possibility.
“it will not happen in a million years, i think.”
arrogance suits him. confidence carved into his bones, stitched into the way he moves, the way he fights. you don’t argue because he’s right— he’s bigger, stronger, more experienced. if he wanted to, he could probably break you in half without much effort.
but miracles happen.
it’s a fluke. both of you know it. a momentary lapse, a split second where his guard lowers just enough for you to slip past his defenses. könig lets you try—indulges you, really, humoring your attempts at taking him down like he’s teaching a child to wrestle. that cockiness, that easy amusement, is what costs him.
somehow, impossibly, you get him in a triangle choke.
his body tenses the moment your thighs clamp around his neck, locking him in place. shock flickers in his eyes before it shifts into something unreadable, something quiet and assessing. his breath comes out steady despite the position he’s in, controlled in a way that makes your pulse stutter.
for a moment, you think you have him.
then, with an ease that’s almost insulting, he pries your legs apart, spreading them like it’s nothing.
a gasp hitches in your throat.
his movements don’t stop there— before you can even process what’s happening, he shifts, pressing himself close, kneeling between your thighs, completely caging you beneath him. his grin is wide, pleased, entirely too unbothered for someone who had just been seconds away from losing.
“very good, bird,” he praises. “very good takedown. i like.”
air sticks in your throat. something is wrong.
“k-könig-”
he blinks at you, tilting his head slightly. “ja?”
your bugged-out stare flicks downward, and his follows instinctively.
oh.
his entire body tenses. his pupils shrink.
understanding dawnes, slow and terrible, as he finally feels the press of something very, very apparent against you.
“that was not supposed to happen.”
no shit.
könig’s weight shifts over you, muscles tight as he tries to move away but instead— maybe by accident, maybe not— his cock drags against your core, thick even through the fabric separating you. the pressure is just enough to make your breath hitch, a spark of something warm licking up your spine before a sound slips from your throat.
he freezes, head jerking up like a startled animal, eyes darting around the empty training room, scanning for any sign that someone might’ve heard, his breath uneven as he listens, as you listen, as the silence between you stretches impossibly thin.
nothing. no one.
he exhales. something in his face twitches, like he’s still trying to convince himself this is real, that you really just made that sound because of him.
his gaze drops, landing back on you, mouth parting, jaw flexing. then his body moves again, slower this time, cock grinding against you, rubbing you through your clothes, dragging heavy between your thighs, and you swear you see his eyelids flutter just slightly at the friction.
his forehead presses against yours, breath coming faster. “tell me to stop.”
the words hit your skin as more air than voice, warm against your jaw, but you don’t even need to think about it, because stopping is the last thing you want right now, the very last thing your body would allow.
“d-don’t stop.”
he curses, words slipping before he can stop them, and you don’t know what they mean, only that they sound wrecked, like they’ve been dragged up from somewhere deep in his chest.
könig’s forehead presses harder into yours. his hands tighten at your waist. his breath comes out uneven, stumbling over itself, and his voice fumbles through the next words. “i don’t have lube.”
“we don’t nee-”
“we do.” his face twists a little, mouth pressing tight, like the idea of taking you without it is actually painful.
you swallow, shifting slightly under him, feeling just how big he is. slick gathers between your thighs, and before you can stop yourself, the question slips out, barely above a whisper.
“are you big?”
his lips twitch, like he’s fighting back a grin, like he can’t believe you just asked that, and then it spreads into something quintessentially könig, — slow, lazy, and warm.
he presses in harder, dragging over your soaked cunt through the fabric of your underwear. the friction pulls a gasp from your lips, hips rolling up instinctively.
his grin stretches wider, eyes flicking down to watch you grind against him. "i am not small."
heat floods you, pussy fluttering around nothing, aching. your hips move again, searching for more, slick soaking through your underwear. your head tips back, breath catching. the sound that escapes you is closer to a whimper than you’d like to admit.
his lips find your jaw, tongue flicking out, tasting sweat and skin. his voice follows his mouth, words warm against your neck. "pretty little pussy..." he murmurs, dragging the syllables out like he’s savoring them. "bet it’d feel better wrapped around me."
the sound that leaves your throat is humiliating, high-pitched and needy. you don’t mean to make it, but it’s too late.
könig grabs your wrist. pulls you up. your balance falters, and before you can recover, he hauls you toward the showers. boots thud against tile. the door slams, lock clicking into place.
his mouth finds yours before you can speak. lips crash into yours, messy and eager. tongues tangle, breaths mix, heat pouring between you as your fingers twist in his hair. a laugh bubbles up between kisses—yours or his, you can’t tell—and he groans into your mouth, grinning against your lips.
“fuck,” he breathes, pulling back just enough to look at you. cheeks flush, eyes dark with something feral. “wanted this so long…”
clothes hit the floor in frantic shoves. hands fumble, pulling fabric away until skin meets skin, warmth pressing in on all sides.
his cock, thick, flushed, and dripping with precum, hangs between the two of you, weighed down by its own girth.
he sees your stare and grins. "big, huh?”
words fail you and for a moment you can't do anything but nod dumbly.
könig reaches past you, flicks on the shower. water crashes down, steam rising fast. the air thickens with heat and he wastes no time to pull you under the spray, water slicing over skin.
scarred hands find your face, thumbs brushing your jaw as his mouth returns to yours.
your hand slides down between you and wraps around his cock. konig's hips jerk forward, breath shuddering out against your lips.
“could kill you with this, eh?” his grin tugs lazy at the corners of his mouth. his chest lifts and falls, breaths dragging in deep, water cascading over both of you, hot against skin already burning.
your hand tightens, fingers sliding along the thick length of him, precum slicking your palm. warmth pulses beneath your touch, veins pronounced under your grip. he twitches when you give a slow twist near the tip, hips jolting forward. a groan rips from his throat, echoing off the tiled walls.
“scheiße,” he hisses, jaw working as he fights the urge to thrust. one hand flies to his hair, tugging as if the sting will help. water streaks down his face, lips parted, breaths breaking up his words.
“not helping,” you breathe, voice shaking. you press your mouth to his jaw, pressing a kiss there before your tongue darts out to taste the salt of his skin. his breath catches, eyes squeezing shut.
“oh, fuck-” his hips rock forward again, cock dragging through your fist, smearing more warmth along your stomach. precum drips from the flushed head, glistening in the steam-filled air.
a grin tugs at his lips, strained but there. “you tryna kill me?” the words slide out. "scheiß kleines ding…”
you laugh, kissing down his jaw. “not my fault you’re easy.” your thumb slides over the tip.
his head knocks back against the wall, neck stretching, throat working through a swallowed groan. “you- fuck- you think is easy?” a hand finds your chin, pulling your gaze up. “look at me.”
könig’s eyes catch yours. blown out. a ring of blue against black. then suddenly his lips curl, and his voice slips through his teeth.
“i have touched myself to you.”
you blink. “what?”
his grin widens. “before.” his hips push forward, cock dragging against your belly. “many times.”
your face burns.
“oh my god.”
his head dips, lips brushing yours, his breath hot and amused. “you do too, hm?”
your heart stops. heat shoots through you, cunt clenching. “yeah,” your breath shudders. “me too…”
his eyes widen, like he didn't expect you to admit to it, then narrows, grin pulling crooked. “yeah?” his cock twitches in your hand again. “fuckin’ knew it…” laughter spills out, breathless and warm.
könig’s head dips to press a sloppy kiss to your lips. tongue sliding against yours, messy and eager. laughter rumbles out, hips rolling, giggles slipping between mouths.
“fuckin’ knew it,” he repeats, words slurring together. “think about me late at night? fingers stuffed in that pretty cunt…”
you gasp, half scandalized, half aroused, hips shifting as slick pools between your thighs. “könig-”
“yeah?” another thrust. precum smears across your belly. “tell me.”
“i- fuck- yeah,” you breathe. “think about you all the time.”
he groans like the words alone could undo him. könig’s hands drop to grip your thighs, fingers digging firm into the flesh as he lifts you like you weigh nothing. your back meets the cold tile with a dull thud, heat from the shower clashing with the chill seeping through the wall.
your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him close. his cock drags through your folds, thick length sliding slick against your cunt, nudging your entrance but never pushing in.
könig watches your face, chest lifting with every shaky breath. “how much do you take?”
you blink, heat simmering through your skin. “what?”
his cock slides against you again, harder this time, grinding against your clit, making you twitch. “normally. how much?”
a shrug rolls through your shoulders, confidence bubbling up, reckless. “all of it,” you answer without thinking, back arching, rubbing against him, arms looping around his neck. “i can take everything.”
he stills, expression shifting— his lips part, brows lifting just slightly. then he laughs, a low, amused sound, mouth curling into a grin. “nein, you can not.”
challenge flares in your chest. “i can.”
another laugh, softer now, hands adjusting on your thighs. “you are-” he shakes his head, grinning wider, lips brushing your cheek as he exhales, “-so very stupid.”
heat pools in your stomach, thighs clenching around him. “i’ll prove it.”
hands grip your thighs, fingers pressing deep into flesh as könig shifts his weight, cock grinding slow against your entrance, precum smearing where you’re slick and warm. a breath shudders out of him, jaw tight, brows pinching like he’s trying to hold something back. “you say this,” he mutters, “and then you cry.”
“i won’t,” you shoot back.
“hm.” his gaze flicks down to where his cock pushes against you, dragging through your folds. “we’ll see.”
könig’s fingers flex. his grip tightens and your breath hitches. “ready?”
“please,” you gasp, nails biting into his shoulders.
he grits his teeth, cock sliding as deep as your walls will allow, head bumping against your cervix. every sob that escapes your lips makes his hips stutter, breath catching like he’s holding on by a thread.
"oh shit," he mutters. "look at you... crying so much."
"feels too good." your hands are weak on his shoulders.
könig grins, breathless, hands squeezing your hips. "ja? but you begged for this, no? say ‘please, könig, fuck me’-" he mocks your voice, low and whiny, then thrusts, ripping a squeak out of you. "and now you cry like a little baby like i said."
you shake your head against his chest, tears spilling hot down your cheeks. you love it—you love his cock so much it hurts—but you just can’t stop the sounds. every thrust drags a new sob from you, body trembling in his grip.
"shh." he squints down at you. "you are too loud-" his hand slides to the back of your head, pressing you close. "fuck... here. suck."
your lips brush his chest, and his nipple is right there, stiff against warm skin. you hesitate, dizzy from pleasure, but then your mouth opens and you latch on, tongue flicking over the peak before you suck soft and slow.
könig’s hips jerk.
"oh, shit- good girl," he breathes, head falling back. his fingers tangle in your hair. "yeah, just like that. little baby needs something to suck on, huh?"
your cheeks burn, whining against his chest, mouth working over his nipple as his cock drags in deep and slow. he groans, low and desperate, fucking you through your cries.
"such a messy baby," he grins, looking far too fucked-out to be as smug as he is. "can’t stop crying, can you? too good, yes? too much?"
you nod, sobbing around him, and könig just laughs, like he can’t believe how fucked you both are.
"keep sucking," he growls. "will fuck you ‘til you’re dumb.”
Title: The Fawn Instinct.
Pairing: Yandere!BatFam x Reader (DC).
Word Count: 5.0k.
TW: Implied Non/Con, Implied Dub/Con, Kidnapping, Prolonged Captivity, Social Isolation, Stalking, Obsessive Behavior, and No Actual Incest, But Boy If Those Freaks Aren't Trying. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.
If it’d only been Bruce, you might’ve been able to live with it.
You didn’t love him, but you could imagine a world where you tried to. Most of it was circumstance; as upset as you were about the whole kidnapping thing, it wasn’t exactly a Herculean feat to endear yourself to the idea of being a handsome vigilante millionaire’s stay-at-home captive-spouse. You had no room in your heart for the stoic, reclusive, untouchable Bruce Wayne, but you could remember the adoration you’d once held for your masked hometown hero, the pride that’d once given you the force of will to all-but carry a half-conscious man in a torn cowl and a familiar suit into your apartment and lie to the cops when they came knocking. If the conditions had been different, if he’d spent a little more time as something more intimate than a stranger and a little less damning than a captor, then maybe, you could convince yourself to love him. Or, convince yourself to try, at least.
But, the conditions weren’t different, and you’d never quite had the time you would’ve needed to align Bruce Wayne with his more heroic alter ego. It’d been doomed from the start – Icarus jumping from his tower, already knowing his wings were destined to fall apart.
That aside, though, there was the more glaring issue: all his fucking kids.
Calling them kids might’ve been too generous, actually. Only Damian and Duke were younger than eighteen, and as far as you were concerned, they were your saving graces – Duke for meeting the bare minimum requirements for human decency and Damian for adamantly denying you were anything but an unwanted burden on his father. The rest were more-or-less adults, as little as you wanted to acknowledge the nonexistent age-gap between you and your gaggle of stepchildren. They were grown. They should’ve known better.
Tim, for example. He had to be… what? Nineteen? It wasn’t the pinnacle of maturity, sure, but he should’ve known you’d be able to hear your own sheets rustling through the bedroom door, should’ve assumed that you’d know he’d know Bruce would be out on patrol until sunrise. He should’ve known to wait until you were in another wing of the sprawling Wayne estate, somewhere far away from the master bedroom, or better yet, skipped rummaging through your things entirely. You knew better than to dream, though.
The door was still shut, but what was happening behind it and who was responsible were both foregone conclusions. It was Tim, because of course it was Tim, and he going through your meager possessions, because what else would he wait until Bruce was gone to do? Cringing, you rested your shoulder against the steady wood and knocked gingerly. “…Drake? Are you in there?”
Immediately, the rustling stopped. You went on. “I think Bruce is out, if you need him. Is there something you’re trying to find?”
It was a good out. An easy out. Thankfully, he was smart enough to take the bait. A few seconds later, the door cracked, a disheveled Tim emerging with a dark blush spread over his pale cheeks and his hands shoved conspicuously deep into the pockets of his hoodie. It was a struggle not to roll your eyes. He couldn’t have been more obvious if he’d come out with his dick still in his hand.
Your cheeks ached as you put on your dozenth unstrained, unworried, everything’s-fine-because-why-wouldn’t-it-be smile of the day and moved aside to let him out. “I’ll let him know you were looking for him when he gets home,” you assured, like you couldn’t see the way his bright eyes were fixed to the carpeting. “I’m sorry I can’t be more help. You all are just so heroic – it’s still a little hard to believe I’m a part of this at all.”
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, and you pretended not to hear him, cocking your head to the side. When he corrected himself, his voice was a bit louder, a bit clearer. “Don’t worry, I… I found what I was looking for. You don’t have to bother Bruce.”
“Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. He’s so proud of you and your siblings, after all – it’s practically all he talks about.” A lie, but a fair one to tell. There was no reason Tim should have to know Bruce spent the majority of your time alone with his teeth buried somewhere in your neck, muttering paranoid fantasies about how many different ways you could be killed, mutilated, or otherwise indisposed by the members of his rouges gallery. “Honestly, sometimes, it’s hard not to feel like I’ve been here for years, rather than just a couple of months.”
You only realized your mistake when those bright eyes shot to you, suddenly wide and blown out with desperation. A hand darted towards you, and you stumbled out of the way, but not quickly enough to avoid Tim’s vice-grip on your forearm, to spare yourself the feeling of something cold and wet sinking into your sleeve. “You’re leaving?” The words seemed to slur together, spilling out too quickly to be restrained or refined. “You can’t leave. Bruce won’t be able to handle it, and Steph, she’ll—I mean, security-wise, we won’t be able to make sure you’re—”
Internally, you were keeping up a steady mantra of ‘Thisissogrossthisissogrossthisissogross.’
Externally, by some miracle, your smile never wavered, only growing sweeter as you cut him off with a chirping laugh. “I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, and then, after a slight lapse, “Would you mind letting go of me? It’s—uh, it’s kind of starting to hurt.”
As if on a switch, he let go of you entirely, pulling away as abruptly as he lashed out. There was a mumbled ‘I’m sorry’, and he made a swift retreat, disappearing around the next corner before you could so much as think about bringing up Bruce, again. You watched him go, only letting your expression fall once you were sure he was out of sight.
Without further caution, you slipped into your bedroom, glazing over the mess of pulled-out drawers, overturned clothes and scattered dirty laundry in favor of falling into bed, rolling onto your chest, and screaming into your pillow as loudly and for as long as your lungs would allow.
~
You tried your best never to be alone. It was a little draining, to be honest – having to keep a running chart in the back of your mind of who you could trust and who you couldn’t, constantly trying to guess whether it’d be safer to be alone with someone or if you were better off taking your chances on your own – but you’d learned your lesson the first time you’d fallen asleep in the Wayne’s at-home movie theater and woken up to Cassandra spread over you like a human weighted blanket, staring unblinkingly at your face and playing half-consciously with your hair. You tried not to leave yourself unguarded, after that.
Alfred was your first choice, Barbra your second, with Bruce as a distant third. Sometimes, you could get away with loitering near Damian (something you hated nearly as much as he did – you could only stand to be addressed as his father’s “jezebel lover” so many times), but Bruce was at one of Damian’s school events, leaving them both conveniently unavailable, and Alfred would be locked inside of his underground shooting range for another hour and a half, an activity you knew better than to interrupt. Meaning, you were on your own.
Meaning, you’d picked a very bad time to need something to drink.
The kitchen was deathly quiet, but you still made an effort to keep your head on a swivel as you made your way carefully to a corner cabinet, like stepping on the wrong tile would trigger a pit trap, or a flurry of arrows, or one of another million terrible things you hadn’t thought were possible before Bruce dedicated himself so entirely to proving you wrong. Mentally, you reviewed your haphazardly assembled schedule as you fumbled with the wood paneling and reached for a mug from the highest shelf. Tim was definitely out, touring local colleges on Bruce’s behest, Step was supposed to be in class, and Dick—
Your fingertips made contact with cool ceramic half a second before another, larger palm wrapped around yours, a broad chest pressing into your back as your mug was stolen out of your hand. You didn’t have to look to know who it was.
And Dick was on bed rest with three broken ribs. Right. Of course.
You really shouldn’t have bothered leaving your room at all. Suddenly, dehydration didn’t sound like such a bad way to go.
“Let me get that, baby bird.” You cringed at the petname, but nodded, letting Dick confiscate your mug and with it, your ability to make a swift exit from a conversation you’d rather not have. “Green tea, right? I know it’s your favorite.”
“On the mark as always, Dick.” There was just enough enthusiasm in your voice to overshadow the despair. You waited until you heard the muted click of an electric kettle before turning around and settling against the counter. “I wish you wouldn’t dote on me, though. I already feel useless enough as it is.”
“Don’t sweat it, I’ve been going stir-crazy all week.” He flashed you a quick smile – tooth and beaming – before pulling open the silverware drawer and rummaging through it, like Alfred would keep his teabags with his cutlery. He was topless, wearing the same pair of black sweatpants he must’ve slept in. He didn’t plan to go out, clearly, and it wasn’t like you had much of an alternative. “This is just the basics, too. For a while there, I had your breakfast, lunch, and midnight snack preferences memorized.”
You forced yourself to smile, albeit, not as brightly as him. “…did you, now?”
“Mhm. B had us running in-person surveillance before he finally bit the bullet and brought you home, and—” He cut himself off with a sudden laugh, shaking his head. “And, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part. Oops.”
Mercifully, the kettle whistled before you could start to consider the implications, and you reached behind you, fishing two bags out of a teacup-shaped jar. It was easy enough to edge him out of the way, but not having to worry about pretending he’d ever made himself a cup of tea meant he could devote more of his energy to talking, so you still managed to lose, in the end. “He’s stingier with the surveillance footage, now. I’ve never seen him so jealous.”
“He can definitely be a little overprotective.”
You tried to keep your tone even, polite, but Dick was like his siblings – quick to action and slow to take a hint. A hand curled around the counter next to you, and you dumped an extra spoonful of sugar into the darkening water. “It’s just us in the manor, right?”
Another spoonful, just to be safe. “I think Alfred is—”
“Out for the day. Wayne Enterprise emergency – I let him know as soon as he finished down in the range.” In your peripheral, you watched his other hand come to rest on your opposite side, caging you in. “I wouldn’t mind the company, if you were starting to get lonely.”
Another spoonful. It’d be too sweet to drink, but anything not to have to look at him. “I’m afraid wouldn’t be a lot of fun, Grayson. Honestly, I was just planning on getting a little sle—”
“That’s perfect,” he cut in, too eager to wait his turn. “I’m a great cuddler.”
You curled your hand around your mug, hoping the warmth would be enough to ground you. Instead, it only burnt your palm, and for a second, you could imagine a world where your teeth weren’t buried in the plush of your cheek, where you didn’t have to remind yourself that turning around and splashing boiling-hot water on an all-but superhero’s face wasn’t a good idea. For a second, you genuinely considered it.
And then, a sound not totally dissimilar to thunder filled the kitchen; loud enough to leave your ears ringing and your adrenaline spiked. You flinched into yourself, but it only took a moment for fear to shift to relief as you noticed the bullet lodged into the wood less than an inch from your head. Your expression lit up just as Dick’s fell.
Without waiting for him to let you go, you slipped away – sprinting across the kitchen and throwing yourself into Jason’s – brave, bold, beautiful Jason – chest. He caught you one hand and finished re-holstering his handgun with the other, laughing as you hugged him as tightly as you could manage. Dick huffed, playful offense failing to mask real agitation, and you felt Jason brace against you. “Jerk off and shut the fuck up, Oedipus.”
Dick’s smile turned uneasy. “It’s good to see you too, man.”
“I didn’t come here for you,” he snapped, as short-tempered with his siblings as you wished you could be. He looked down, holding you that much tighter. “How’s my best girl holding up?”
“I’m just fine, Jason. I do think we have to have a talk about how you treat your brother, though.” You glanced over your shoulder to Dick. “A little privacy? You really ought to be staying off your feet, too.”
Reluctantly, Dick slinked out of the kitchen, hesitant to go but eager to nurse his wounds. You only went on once you were sure he was gone.
“It’s been awful. I found another hidden camera in my bedroom, and I think Tim’s tapping my—”
“I’ll do a sweep.”
He let you go, but you caught his arm. “Please, I know it’s important, but—” You cut yourself off, swallowing. It was irrational – the way you let your guard down so quickly around Jason. The mask never slipped around anyone else, whether you were afraid of them or they were one of your rare, precious exceptions. Jason existed outside of the Wayne family, though, outside of Bruce’s corrupting influence. He wasn’t going to hurt you. More importantly, he wasn’t going to let anyone else hurt you, either.
“But I really don’t want to think about that, right now,” you finished. “Just… just for a little while, alright? I don’t want to constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells, at least not while you’re here.”
Jason stood strong for all of three seconds. With the fourth, he sighed, buckled, and shook his head, his exasperation brimming with affection. “How long until Bruce gets home?”
“Six more hours. He’s not due to check-in for another three.”
“I’ve got my bike out front. How do you think he’d feel about a joy ride?”
And just like that, you lit up. “It’d give him a heart attack.”
Jason pulled you close, kissing the top of your head.
“Perfect.”
~
Unfortunately, Jason’s visits were few and far between. You had to find ways of fending for yourself, in the downtime.
“I miss the city.”
Bruce glanced over his shoulder, gaze flickering over you before returning to the buttons of his dress-shirt. You sunk that much deeper into the mess of sheets and pillows, taking some small amount of solace in the way the cool silk felt against your warm skin.
(Sex wasn’t something Bruce came to you for often, but when he did, you gave it to him willingly, albeit with no more enthusiasm than was absolutely necessary. You rarely enjoyed it and always regretted everything you did or said during the act, but it was better than the alternative. Part of you trusted him, trusted Batman, enough to believe that he’d take your refusal for what it was, that you wouldn’t have to say anything more than ‘no’. The remaining overwhelming majority was able to look around you, to remember the way he’d held you down as he forced a needle stocked with medical-grade sedatives into your throat, and recognize that your opinion probably didn’t mean very much to him. Still, you couldn’t let things get that bad. Even if you had to surrender every other facet of your being, you couldn’t let things get that bad.)
“You hated the city. You said your landlord was a tyrant and that even the criminals were living paycheck-to-paycheck.” And then, after a second of thought, “And that there were more rats in Gotham than people.”
“Well, he was, they are, and you know I love animals.” You pushed yourself up, keeping a sheet bunched against your chest as you slumped against the headboard. “I was tired and overworked – you could see that. But, things would be different if I was staying with, say, my wealthy trillionaire boyfriend in one of the penthouse apartments that I know he has because his youngest son got in trouble for bragging about them in school last week?”
Bringing up his kids was a dirty tactic – the fastest way to get Bruce’s undivided attention. This time, when his eyes shifted in your direction, they stayed there, and he made his way back to your side of the bed. He collapsed next to you and, with no resistance on your end, pulled you into his lap. He didn’t seem to care whether or not his immaculately tailored, freshly pressed suit was creased in the process, but you did your best not to squirm. “You want to leave the manor?”
The first half of a frown tugged at the corner of your lips. “That’s not what I—”
“Elevated pulse, avoidant eye-contact,” he muttered. “Something’s bothering you.”
It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t wrong, either, but still. You would’ve preferred to be asked.
“…it’s your family,” you admitted, feigning guilt. “They’re all—” Horny, depressed, creepy little orphans. “—great kids, but it’s just been so much so quickly, and I think it… I think it might’ve been too much too quickly. For them and for me.”
“They adore you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Dick was close to moving back in when I decided it was too dangerous to leave you to your own devices.”
You melted into his chest, sighing. Reflexively, he curled around you – a good thing, if a bit claustrophobic. Bruce liked feeling like a shield between you and harm, between you and the world he couldn’t control. Hopefully, eventually, he’d realize he had more to shield you from than greedy landlords and villains who always seemed to be just out of sight. “It’s not that easy. It’s just been such a rocky adjustment period, and…” You curled your hand around his wrist and squeezed, hoping the force would be enough to communicate what you couldn’t put a word to. “I’m really afraid something bad might happen, Bruce.”
For a moment, he seemed to consider it. There was a kiss to your shoulder, solemn and lingering, then another to your cheek, more fleeting. “I’ll talk to them. They’ll give you space, if they’re told to.”
If he told them to. You doubted you held much authority, here. “And the apartment in the city? On the highest floor, tall enough to see from Gotham to New York?”
Bruce smiled, and your heart soared.
Then, he started talking, and it crashed back down, dying upon impact. “Once I know it’s safe for you, sweetheart.”
There was another kiss, this one to the nape of your neck, then another, lower down on your spine. A calloused hand slipped underneath the sheet still hugged against your chest, and you allowed it to.
Honestly, it would’ve been kinder if he’d cut you into pieces and fed you to the wolves himself.
~
You made a run for it as soon as the arguing started.
Arguing, not yelling – the distinction was minor, but significant. Yelling would’ve meant an injury, or a mission gone wrong, or something else that signaled a sudden complication that couldn’t be smoothed over with sugar-sweet sentimentality or orders issues with an ice-cold strictness. Yelling would’ve meant Bruce didn’t mind letting you overhear, which usually meant you didn’t need to be involved. Arguing, all hushed whispers and hissed explanations and vague warnings, was different. Arguing meant, more often than not, that they were arguing about you.
It was Tim’s fault, as far as you could tell. Barbara had been the one to find the conspicuously encrypted file on one of Dick’s civilian devices, the one to mention it to Stephanie as a point of concern who went to Tim within the hour, but it was still his fault. He’d gotten Bruce involved, let his need for approval tip the tenuously balanced scales that kept his family whole and you safe. He’d talked them all into waiting until Dick was close enough to confront in-person, stopping by for his weekly equipment pick-up and check-in. He was the reason you’d gotten close enough to hear something about ‘pictures’ and ‘inappropriate use of reconnaissance material’ before fleeing to the mansion’s foyer – the only part of the house you could be sure wasn’t occupied. If you were lucky, you’d only be there for half an hour or so, enough time for them to compromise on some non-solution and return to your carefully maintained status quo. If you weren’t, you’d spend the early hours of the morning—
Something small but forceful hit the nearest window, shortly followed by another projectile, then another. The glass was too thick and the world outside too dark to make anything out, but you didn’t need to see anything to know who’d come to your rescue.
Jason.
You rushed to the door, then hesitated. Jason would only get a slap on the wrist for luring you out of the estate, and Bruce could never bring himself to be that strict with you, but now might’ve been a bad time. Tensions were already running high. Your little disappearing act wouldn’t—
A sudden rush of footsteps clattering through the ceiling from the floor above you, hushed voices raised just to the point of audibility. None of it was entirely coherent, but Dick’s came the closest. You managed to make out a half-choked “If you’d just let me—” before someone cut him off.
With your better judgement reduced to buzzing static, you pried open the closer of a pair of huge, mahogany doors and slipped out of the estate entirely.
Of course, Jason was waiting outside, a small stock of pebbles still in his left hand and, of course, you threw yourself at him, letting him catch and spin you twice before setting you back onto your feet with an airy laugh. A pitch-black sports car was waiting at the end of the driveway, the engine purring loudly enough to drown the rest of the world out. “Rough night?”
“You have no fucking idea,” you muttered, breathless. “I don’t care where we go, just get me out of here.”
There was a reason Jason was your favorite. There was no argument, no prying, just his arm around your waist as he herded you into the passenger seat. Fifteen minutes and a little over fifty miles later, the mansion was little more than a dull glow on the horizon, and you could pretend you’d stopped thinking about Bruce entirely.
There was no effort to make conversation, as bad as you felt about pulling Jason into your prolonged tryst with self-pity. Instead, you sunk into the leather of his seat and fixed your gaze on the passing landscape, clinging to any detail you were able to latch onto as it flew by. It was possible, between the subways and boarded-over windows and perpetually overcast skies, to go days without seeing the sun in Gotham. Still, your life had felt brighter there than it ever did in Bruce’s estate.
Jason turned down a road you didn’t recognize, and you managed to find your voice. “Are we going into the city?”
“Even better.” He flashed you a smile, the engine purring as he accelerated. “You’ll like it, I promise. Just sit tight.”
As if you had much of a choice.
Road gave way to forest, forest to empty plains, and empty plains to the dilapidated remains of what you could only label as a long-abandoned amusement park – like Disney World if there’d been some terrible, possibly nuclear accident followed by twenty or so years of absolute neglect. Jason’s car glided past the rusted remains of an iron gate, past the corpses of rides buckled under their own weight, and came to a stop in front of a paint-stripped merry-go-round almost entirely sheeted be vines and weeds and overgrowth. You let out a low whistle as he threw the gear shift into park and, for the first time in any vehicle you’d ever shared with him, pulled his keys out of the ignition. He’d always left the engine running while visiting the mansion, but then again, you’d always been pretty eager to make a hasty escape, too.
“I love it, Jason. I’ve always wanted to get tetanus from a broken down carnival.”
“A fair, actually,” he corrected, slipping his keys into his jacket pocket. Like he expected you to try and steal them while his back was turned, or something. “My parents used to take me here, before I met B. There weren’t a lot of Ferris wheels after that.”
There was a short lapse, the sound of lips moving against teeth. You made the mistake of humming, of glancing over to him, of leaving yourself open for another question, and Jason, as nice as he was, was more than happy to take advantage of you. “So, when did you and B start…”
He trailed off, drumming his fingers against the wheel. You filled in the rest with a breathy chuckle. “When did I start sleeping with your dad?”
He jabbed an elbow into your side. “First of all, you can admit you’re fucking him or call him my dad, but you’ve gotta pick one.” You opened your mouth, already ready to spit out some dumb joke about what Bruce would’ve preferred to be called, but Jason cut in, sniping your stupid joke out of the air. “Secondly, answer the question. I get enough of your diversions back at home.”
“Being a buzzkill must run in family,” you sighed, but gave in quickly enough. “It happened once before the whole kidnapping thing, when he was staying at my apartment and sleeping off a broken leg. I hadn’t even seen him without his mask on at that point, but I figured it was a sign – destiny, or something.” You did your best to smile, slumping against the door. “It was dumb. He gave me a couple weeks after bringing me to the estate, mostly because of the crying and stuff, but things started up again pretty quickly.”
“Do you… like it?”
“Do you like asking about your dad’s sex life?” He flinched back, and laughing, you went on. “I guess I don’t care. There’s not a lot else to do.” You swallowed. “Would it matter if I didn’t?”
For someone with so many questions, he didn’t leave a lot of time for yours, the hypocrite. Moving on swiftly, he asked, “And the others, have they…?”
“No.” And then, after a beat, “Not yet.”
He seemed to relax, at that. His back was still straight, his shoulders still squared, but his grip on the wheel loosened, his jaw unclenching ever so slightly. You tried the handle – locked. Obviously. As if you’d ever get that lucky.
His voice was soft, sweet. The kind of tone you’d use on a child, or an animal, or a doll. “This would probably be easier in the backseat, right?”
“Let me out.”
“So you can go where,baby? It’s just us out here.” He laughed, resting a hand on your thigh. You slammed your shoulder into the door. It didn’t budge. “Hey, hey, this doesn’t need to get rough. I’m not going to be like Dick. The others – they’ll do it wrong, treat you like a cut of meat they have to get to before anybody else. I just need to make sure you get out of this in one piece.”
Nails embedded in leather, body crammed as far from him as you could force it be. You weren’t hyperventilating, but only because you’d stopped breathing entirely. “Let me out, Jason.”
“I love the way you say my name. It’s pretty, and delicate – just like you.” He sighed, shook his head. “I know you don’t get it, but I’m just trying to take care of you, like you’ve been taking care of me for the past few—”
“Stop acting like I’m your mom.” A sob fractured the final syllable, another bubbling up from deep in your chest a moment later. Your body was beyond the point of rationality, but the soft, preservational part of your mind wasn’t so beyond the point of seeking refuge. There was a way out of this, as ghoulish as it seemed. You couldn’t stop it from happening, but you could make it better. You’d regret it in an hour, when it came time to explain yourself to Bruce, but what happened in an hour didn’t matter, not if you couldn’t survive the next few minutes.
You might’ve done it, too – or, you might’ve tried, at least. You wanted to. You planned to. And yet, when you opened your mouth, there was only one thing you could seem to say. “I don’t want to do this, Jason.”
His nails bit into your thigh, his smile easing at the corners. For a second, you almost thought he’d pull away. For a second, you almost thought he’d sigh, straighten back up, and admit this was all part of some cruel, unfunny joke that the two of you would remember fondly, later on.
Then, he laughed and leaned forward, lips brushing against the top of your head. You felt him speak before you heard his voice, but the cloying reverberation alone was enough to tell you that you would’ve been better off never saying anything at all.
“Welcome to the family, sweetheart.”
pairing: john price x fem!reader
wc: 7.2k...sorry lmao plz read…
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, fem!reader, fluff, established relationship, oral (m. receiving), road head, porn w so much plot, hair pulling, angst, emotional conflict, complicated family dynamics, dysfunctional family, i.e., ongoing conflict, reader having familial issues (mostly maternal), age-gap, secret relationship & marriage, & john being a protector.
author's note: this was brought to fruition by a singular barry sloan edit that had me salivating and @sai-int's fic 'a ticket to play', which single-handedly re-sparked my love for price! so, yeah, anyways, enjoy this horny mess!
dividers by @/saradikagraphics!
John Price is a man...
“John, you didn’t,” you hiss, eyes wide as you set down the groceries on the counter, your wrists aching from the heavy load.
“Didn’t know it was your mother, sweetheart,” he replies, his tone sincere. He quickly grabs the bags and begins unpacking the groceries.
You glance at the house phone positioned beside the fridge, then peel off the old sticky note attached there. You read it aloud, “Don’t answer calls from the 406 area code. I’m talking to you, John,” before pausing to think, lips pursed in contemplation.
He opens the fridge, sliding the milk jug inside before carefully shutting the door. When he turns back to see your knowing smile, his eyebrows lift in a silent acknowledgment, a quiet ‘ah’ escaping his lips.
“Well,” you urge, grabbing the aromatics from the counter to put up. “What did she say when you picked up?” You ask, attempting to sound as casual and disinterested as possible.
“Oh. Nothin’ you’d find interestin,’” he hums with a knowing smile as he tears open a pack of paper towels.
You press your lips together. “Well…yeah,” you mutter, picking up a few grapefruits. “I mean, it doesn’t matter to me,” you defend, emphasizing the ‘doesn’t.’ “I just want to know what she thought,” you shrug, trying to remain nonchalant.
“Mhm,” he hums thoughtfully as he gathers the now-empty reusable bags, hanging them on the hook next to the cabinet.
“I’m serious,” you say, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. “I really don’t care.”
"I know you don't, hon." He turns to wash the fresh berries in a colander, the water splashing against the metal steadily.
"You don't believe me," you exasperate.
He lets out a low laugh as he washes the berries. "Didn't say that."
You lean against the kitchen island, your body language betraying your frustration. "You were thinking it," you accuse, with a dramatic sigh.
He sets the berries back into the colander and turns his head toward you, a playful half-smile on his lips. “No, I wasn't,” he replies, clearly amused.
You poke your tongue into your cheek, mentally cursing yourself for marrying someone so adept at reading your emotions, your inner conflict laid bare.
“But,” he says, tearing a paper towel to dry his hands. “Now, I’m starting to feel that you do care.”
You don’t respond, trying to avert your gaze as heat creeps into your cheeks like he’s caught you sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar.
“Baby,” he moves closer, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders and pulling you into him. “It’s okay to care,” he whispers softly into your hair, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
You gently shut your eyes, pressing your face into his warm abdomen, finding comfort in his presence.
“Damn it,” you mumble, your words muffled against him. He chuckles softly in response. “Alright, fine,” you pull back slightly, locking your eyes onto his as his hands cradle your cheeks. “I do care. Now, spill the juicy details.”
He lets out a hearty laugh. “Well, she started by checkin’ in on you.”
You release a dry laugh, rolling your eyes. "Yeah, right. She always has ulterior motives," you grumble. "I swear that woman is always up to—"
"Shh," he squishes your cheeks together as both thumbs rest over your lips to silence you. "Will you let me finish?" He prompts, quipping a brow.
"Sorry, yeah," you apologize, your voice coming out muffled and nasal.
He nods with a smile, moves his thumbs off your mouth, and drops his hands to massage your shoulders. "Said your sister is gettin' married, and she thought it would be nice if you came down for her engagement party this weekend," he supplies.
Correction remarried.
She's on her fifth? No, her sixth husband now.
Guess she thinks six will be the lucky number.
Who’s gonna tell her?
However, that’s beside the point; you care about something much more…pathetic.
You feel frustrated because all you really want is to know how your mother reacted to the deep, gruff voice of the Englishman who answered the phone.
You wait with a bated breath, eyes wide with anticipation, but his expression remains flat, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What else?" You finally question, unable to contain your curiosity.
"That's all," he plainly says, his words hanging in the air.
You scoff. "She didn't ask about the random guy answering my phone?" You voice with disbelief.
Your mother is a shallow woman, but surely you getting what she’s constantly pressured you into getting would have her jumping for joy.
A sly smirk grows on his lips. "Am I just some random guy?" He jokes.
You smile yourself before pressing a kiss to his lips, arms coming to wrap around his torso. "You’re my husband, so not to me," you begin. "But to her, yes," your hand moves to the back of his neck, pulling him down to peck his lips again. "You know that," you say matter-of-factly.
His hands drift to your waist. "Mhm, I'm your dirty little secret," he hums softly.
"John," you frown, guilt flooding your brain. "You know I would, but—"
"Just jokes, baby," he interjects, pressing a light kiss on your temple as his eyes light up. "I love you in any way you’ll have me," he murmurs softly.
"God, you’re perfect," you reply with a smile.
"She did question who I was," he starts. "Had no idea she was so southern," he remarks casually before continuing. "She thought I was the plumber," he quips, trying to lighten the mood slightly.
He tried, but he could feel the tension in the air.
Sees the disappointment and anger in your eyes.
In your posture.
You're fucking pissed.
"Typical," you remark, stepping away from him, arms flailing around. "She—she thinks I'm so incapable of finding someone that she would resort to thinking you're a person I pay before actually thinking you're with me." Your voice is filled with frustration.
"Hon—" John begins, voice soft as his hand reaches for you.
"And she wonders why I never visit," you release a dry laugh. "Never reach out."
"Come ere,'" he coos, hand pulling you by your wrist, so he can engulf you in a hug.
"It's not fair," your voice is once again muffled by the fabric of his shirt, but he can hear the tightness in it and the sniffle against him, a clear sign of your emotional distress.
"No, it's not," he affirms, fingers easing through your hair.
"Nothing is ever good enough for her," you exhale into his abdomen, fueled more by anger than by despair.
John gently kisses your hair while his fingers soothe your back with a gentle massage.
"I’ll never be good enough for her," you mumble absentmindedly, your voice lacking emotion.
"Sweetheart," he begins, his voice low as your hair muffles the sound. "Don't take offense, but you're mother is a real nasty woman. You're fuckin' perfect, and if she can't see that, it's her God-damn loss," his tone rough yet sincere.
You chuckled, a smile spreading across your face as the corners of your eyes crinkled. "I love you."
"Love you so much," he whispers, gently planting another kiss on your head.
He leans back slightly to look into your eyes. "Want me to run you a hot bath?" He asks, gently massaging your shoulders.
"That sounds really nice," you reply, taking a deep breath. "Thanks."
"Course. That's what I'm here for," he says effortlessly, leaning down to kiss your lips tenderly. "I'll let you know when it's ready."
You nod quietly as he moves to draw the warm bath.
The thought of sinking into steamy water and enveloping bubbles soothes your mind.
Honestly, to hell with your mother's opinions.
They just weren't worth the headache.
And there was no way you were going back to that house.
The promise of the bath, with its comforting warmth and enticing bubbles, would wash away your worries and quiet the thoughts swirling in your head.
Visions of your mother and that place would fade, never to resurface again.
"Can't believe she thought I would actually come down," you sigh contentedly, feeling the warmth of your husband, John, as he works shampoo through your hair, creating rich suds.
So much for the visions of your mother fading.
It had been a whole day since your mother's call, and the weight of her words still lingered, stirring up a storm of conflicting emotions within you.
"Still on your mind?" John asks, eyes hyperfocusing on ensuring the shampoo coats every strand of your hair.
"I just—I don't understand why she thought I would come," you suspire, turning to massage the loofah against John's chest, feeling the warmth of his skin and the tension in his muscles.
"Must have gone mad, I suppose," he jests, his fingers massaging the shampoo into your scalp, adding a touch of humor to the heavy conversation.
Your lip quips at his joke, eyes lighting at the sight of him taking such good care of you, ensuring your scalp is tantalizingly clean. "Maybe," you murmur. "Because all she ever does is ridicule me and constantly ask if I've found a man.” You gently move the loofah over his chest to ensure he is squeaky clean.
"Close your eyes," he murmurs, his hands coming to massage your facial cleanser into your face before returning to the issue at hand.
"Wouldn't let tryin' to examine your mother's psyche take your day, hon," his hands move with familiar ease as he massages the liquid into your cheeks. "You'll never know why. Can't change that,” he says.
"I hate how logical you are," you sigh, finding yourself relaxing at his touch.
He lets out a gruff laugh. "Would you rather me be some git?"
Your eyebrow quips, eyes remaining closed. "What does that mean?"
His lip quips. "Sweetheart, how long have you lived with me here, in England?" He enunciates the last word as he moves you under the faucet to wash away the cleanser's remnants.
"Not long enough, I guess," you smile cheekily, wiping your eyes free of water to open them. "Honestly, forever isn't even long enough," you add, trying to shift the focus, though it's true; you can't quite remember how long you've been living together
"Oh," he tuts softly. "Nice save. Can't argue with that," he replies, smirking before leaning in to kiss your lips.
After a stretch of silence, you turn around so he can wash your back with the loofah. Your mind is still swirling with thoughts. "I kind of miss seeing my niece," you find yourself reminiscing.
"Even though my sister and I don't get along too well, her daughter and I have always had a special bond," you say with a sigh.
"What else do you miss?" Since you never really talk about where you grew up, John prods, he's curious.
"Well, in the spring, my cousins and I would go flower picking in the field behind my grandfather's house," you find yourself getting more excited.
"He also had an old peach tree, Mindy, he called it, that we would pick dozens of peaches from and just lay in the shade under the tree and eat them till he thought we might become peaches ourselves," you snicker, turning around to face him, eyes light.
"They were fucking good peaches."
"Sounds like you miss it," he grins.
Your hand turns the lever off, and the water stops, leaving a lingering warmth on your skin. "I do," you confess, stepping out of the shower to grab you and him fresh towels.
"But, my mother knows how to ruin the best of memories," your voice is monotone. "I want those great ones to stay intact, you know?" You shrug, wrapping the towel around yourself, offering comfort.
He wraps the towel low around his waist. "Course I get it, sweetheart," his voice soft yet gruff. "Let's get you all nice and dry, and we'll order some takeout. Yeah?" He asks, reaching for your hand to lead you into your shared bedroom to get dressed.
"Sounds perfect," you voice, the thoughts of going home almost completely absolving.
A few misses wouldn't make you completely switch gears and go.
It just wasn't worth it.
Only your mother could figure out how to make the enjoyment and amazing things crumble up and burn.
But you won't let her.
So, you've made up your mind.
You will not be going.
That's final.
It's two days to Saturday.
You've been manically counting down the days.
And so, naturally, instead of basking in the serene morning, with birds chirping and the gentle glow of the sun filtering through your kitchen window, you're perched on a barstool, computer propped up, as your breakfast grows cold, hand hesitating over a plane ticket that will whisk you away tomorrow morning to your hometown.
Just one click, and you'll have solidified yourself as going.
You're only feeling so impulsive because your impulse control, aka your husband, is at work.
Your finger hovers over the 'confirm' button for about twenty minutes.
You know what's holding you back.
The anxieties claw up about your mother and what ifs that could happen.
And then, in a sudden moment of clarity, it all becomes clear.
'Could.'
It's not a promise, just a possibility.
You had spontaneously decided that you wouldn't let the could control your decisions.
Yes, one thing was holding you back, but what about the multitude of things that you wanted to see or the many people who loved and cared about and desperately wanted to see after so long?
You were not going to let the 'could' control your decisions.
You were going to overcome this worry and take the leap.
You sit up tall in your chair, turning your head with a wince as you click "confirm."
"Oh," you murmur. "That was dramatic for no reason," you say monotonously.
But, now you can't help but feel a surge of excitement.
You would get to see your niece after so long.
And the flower field and, of course, Mindy the peach tree.
Who could forget your childhood room full of posters and knick-knacks you collected throughout your teenage years.
You find yourself smiling as you get that familiar chime from your email confirming your flight ticket.
Can't get cold feet now.
You take a swig of your tea, which has long since gone cold, but your throat is parched from the anxiety that grips you, a knot tightening in your stomach.
The mug was a gift from your husband for your birthday last year.
It featured your favorite flowers made into it and even had your birthday engraved on the bottom.
John was always so thoughtful.
You pause your movements, lips hovering over the clay mug, a moment of hesitation freezing your actions.
John.
Your husband.
Of course, he didn't care that you bought the ticket or wanted to go, but he would be pissed if you just left.
Sure, you could wait until he returned home, but the urgency to communicate your decision gnaws at you, compelling you to act now.
You hurriedly reach for your phone, fidgeting to press his number.
He's at the top of your contacts.
You tap your fingers against the cool granite countertop, waiting until he picks up.
It rings.
And rings.
...and rings again.
Until the line picks up, you sit up, ready to unload on him, only for it to be his voicemail line.
"Shit," you curse, hanging up as your foot bounces on the metal footstep on the barstool.
As you sit there, unable to wait until he gets home, you can't help but feel a surge of dramatic emotion. This internal conflict, this emotional turmoil, is what drives you to act impulsively.
But this is a big deal.
You never go home.
Rarely mention it.
So your next actions feel rationalized to you.
Without a second thought, you spring up, grab your keys from the hook by the door, slip your shoes and coat on, and speed to your car, most likely looking like a mad woman.
But at this moment, who cares about appearances?
The urgency of the situation overrides any concern for normalcy.
Normalcy is overrated, anyway.
You throw the car into gear, and though you are in a rush, you don't speed there.
Carefully, you make your way, chewing on your lips nearly the entire drive.
Despite your earlier determination not to return, you find yourself on the way, a plane ticket already in your possession.
The anticipation of what your husband has to say fills you with a slight unease.
He wouldn't be mad.
More surprised than anything.
And honestly, you shamelessly loved seeing him at work.
His professional demeanor, always in control, never fails to impress you.
You can't help but oogle him.
It secretly really got you going.
But, this time, it was a purely innocent visit, of course.
You find a parking spot, ease into the front part, giving the officer guarding the gate your name.
She quickly lets you through.
You are the captain's wife, after all.
Walking, you head straight through a door and through another one.
So many God-damn doors in this place.
Until you reach the middle portion of the base, grass surrounds you, and various equipment is placed orderly around.
Sandbags, wooden ladders, and weights are among the items you see.
Your eyes sweep the area until they land on the man you're looking for.
He stands tall, his broad shoulders filling out his uniform, a few strands of hair escaping his signature hat.
His eyes are focused on the recruits, his expression a mix of determination and frustration.
From the looks of it, he's training new recruits, something he doesn't often do, but it's a real treat when he does.
His sleeves are rolled up, exposing his veiny arms.
His arms, usually strong and steady, now appear more veiny than usual, a sign of his apparent frustration with the recruits. His jaw is set, and you can see the tension in his muscles as he barks orders.
"Runnin' like a fuckin' slug," he reprimands. "Pick up the pace."
You hate how hearing that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach.
"Get your head out of your ass," he grunts outs, clearly annoyed. "The hell are you lookin' at," he asks a recruit who, along with a few others, seems to be on another planet, eyes wandering behind him.
John turns to his side to see you in a cute dress, waving to him sweetly. "Course," he lets out a dry laugh, giving you a small wave.
He turns back to the recruits, his authority palpable.
"Eyes off my wife, or you'll be doin' extra laps," he scolds, his tone low but intimidating, before yelling to move to the ladders with Soap.
He makes his way over to you, a warm smile on his face. "Nice surprise, hon," he greets, kissing your cheek.
"I'm gonna go," you murmur.
His brows furrow in confusion. "Go where?"
You raise a brow at his confusion. "To...see my family."
His eyes bore into your intently. "By yourself?"
"I didn't think you'd want to go," you say honestly.
"I'm going with you," his tone final, with no room to argue. "You bought a plane ticket?" He questions.
"I did...sorry, I just thought—" you begin before he cuts in, his hand pressing against your cheek.
"No worries," he says. "I'll get the ticket when I get back to my office," his tone casual. "You're sure about this?"
"I think so," you say. "Plus, if I cancel the ticket, we'll be out six hundred dollars," you laugh out.
"Screw the money, okay? You tell me if you don't want to go," he tells you, face serious.
"If I change my mind, you'll be the first to know," you lean up, pressing a short kiss to his lips. "Also, you should always wear your shirt like that."
His eyes narrow as he lets out a laugh. "You like it?"
"Looks sexy," you purr quietly, teeth coming to bite your lip.
His face warms slightly. "Should see what it looks like off."
"Are you flirting with me, captain?" You say, hand coming to your heart in false surprise.
"Just givin' you a preview for later," his tone is husky.
"I'll be waiting," you begin, beckoning him to lower his head so your lips can hover over his ear. "Already so wet just thinking about it."
He releases a low grunt as you press a kiss to his cheek.
"See you at home," you say sweetly as if you didn't just give him a hard-on at the thought of you all wet and needy for him.
"See you, sweetheart," he almost chokes out as you turn to go away, your ass swaying in the dress you wear.
He's going to make you pay later.
And honestly, you can't wait.
You need something to take your mind off tomorrow's morning flight.
Though it was going to take a lot more than sex to ease your mind.
A horse tranquilizer may help.
No. Too dangerous.
Whatever, you'll take your chances with John's hand all over and in you to have you sleeping and at ease.
Maybe you'll get lucky, and you two can sneak off to the airport bathroom and finally join the mile-high club.
That would definitely keep your mind off things.
For now, you’ll wear a smile, and excitement will radiate from your being.
Everything will be fine.
Nothing bad will happen.
Even so, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?
Statement retracted.
Your trip thus far has been a shitshow, and you haven't even seen your family yet.
Your flight got delayed three hours because of fog.
That was understandable, annoying, but understandable.
What wasn't was the lady who insisted on sitting between you and John on your flight in the seat you paid for.
An older lady, maybe in her late forties or so, with a determined look in her eyes and a set to her jaw that said she wasn't going to let a little thing like a seat assignment get in her way.
She was nice at first.
She became insufferable rather quickly.
Very persistent.
You deduce she did that so she could sit next to your man.
It didn't bother you so much, plus you knew if you showed it did, John would make a scene, and you just wanted to close your eyes and sleep, so you let her have your seat and sat by the window instead.
But every time you got settled, eyes closing gently, the soft lull of the plane helping you drift off.
"Going off to college?" She piped next to you, oblivious or noncaring about your eyes shut.
Your eyes open rapidly, and you look at her, awaiting a response. "Uh, no. I graduated a couple of years ago," your voice is drowsy.
"Oh. You two must be going on a father-daughter trip, then?" She poses.
Your wide eyes drift to John's; a smile etched on his face. "Such a kind father you are," she compliments without missing a beat.
The sheer absurdity of her assumption leaves you speechless, and John can't help but let out a quiet laugh.
"Thas' actually my wife," he says, trying to contain another laugh.
"Oh," her eyes widen in shock and apparent envy. "Well, aren't you a lucky one," her tone is dry as she eyes you.
That was funny.
But not when she did it about five hundred times on the eight hour flight.
It was like a broken record, playing the same tune over and over again, and you were the unwilling participant.
Over and over again like clockwork.
Drove you bat shit crazy.
Sure, maybe you could have just told her to shut the hell up, but you kept telling yourself it wasn't worth the fight, and you didn't have the energy to make the effort.
Also, since the lady was sitting in the seat between you, formally yours, you didn't feel comfortable asking John about the bathroom sex.
She would have most likely dropped dead or asked to join.
You didn't want either.
So, it is safe to say that when the plane landed, you sat up excitedly to escape the stuffy plane.
The lady tried to follow you and John out, but you grabbed John by the wrist, dragging him behind you as your legs gained more momentum to try and escape her.
It was like a horror movie.
"Oh my God. She was so weird," you laugh out to John as you manage to get away from her, stepping out of the airport to collect your rental truck.
"I know. Kept lookin' at me the whole flight," he says with unease as he places your suitcases into the backseat of the truck, shooing away your hands from the bags so he could lift them himself.
"Do we need to get you a counselor?" You half-joke as he opens the car door for you to get in as he moves to the driver's seat.
"Think so," he gruffs before his eyes fixate on you. "You okay?"
You had put the address into the truck's maps system, settling back into the leather seat, eyes now on his. "I'm nervous," you confess.
"Nothin' to be nervous about. I'm here for you, okay? If you need to leave, just tell me," his voice is soft as his hand caresses your thigh in comfort.
You give him a nod, turning to look out the window at the passing buildings, a flurry of butterflies in your stomach.
You had already texted your niece you were coming, so you're sure your mother and sister know.
It's not like you'd be staying with them.
That's too much too soon.
Plus, you and John could have sex anytime in the hotel with no fears of your estranged mother walking and seeing John balls-deep in you.
It was really better for all parties.
Once you pull up to the house, you swear you could hurl.
"Was this a bad idea?" You ask John nervously as he pulls your suitcases out of the backseat.
He gently sets them on the dirt. "It's just nerves," he says, locking the truck. "Let's scope it out, and if you want to leave, we'll go. No questions," his hand rests gently on your shoulder.
"Promise?" You prod, tilting your head towards him.
He smiles at you. "You have my word, sweetheart."
You release a deep breath. "I think I'm going to pass out."
He chuckles deeply, hand snaking around your waist to lead you to the front door. "I'll catch you if you do."
You feel your nerves subside with John by your side as you flip up the familiar peach-shaped doorbell cover to ring the bell.
Stomping feet approach, the voice growing nearer and nearer until the front door pulls open to reveal your sister.
Flawless as ever.
Her eyes light up. "Thought my daughter was tellin' fibs," she jokes, pulling you into a warm, tight hug. "Missed you." Her genuine affection wraps around you like a comforting blanket.
You reciprocate the hug with equal tightness.
Although you may not have gotten along well, she was still your sister, and you could feel the love a million miles away.
She pulls away, eyes falling onto the mysterious, hot, stoic man to your side. "Who's this good-lookin' hunk?" She coos, smacking her gun.
"This is my, um, my husband, John," you say, fumbling your words a little.
"Nice to meet you," his voice is low and most shockingly British, as he sticks his hand out.
Cordial as ever.
"Oh, come on. That's just not even fair, sis," she jests, taking his hand fast and tight.
Her playful banter adds a lightness to the moment that almost absolves your nerves entirely.
"Where's...mom?" You ask, your heart pounding in your chest, the unease apparent in your tone.
She looks back at you. "Kitchen," she says before offering a reason. "She's makin' peach cobbler. Come on in," she steps aside so you and John can enter the door.
The familiar scent of the old wooden floors, the sound of the creaking stairs, and the sight of the family photos on the wall all bring back a flood of memories.
Warm smiles and familiar voices greet you as you step inside.
Cousins, aunts, uncles.
They approach you one by one, their surprise at your arrival evident, but even more so at hearing that you're married to the burly man at your side.
Your aunts keep him occupied as you wander into the kitchen.
They keep him engaged in their lively banter, shamelessly flirting with him while their husbands sit in the living room, engrossed in their own discussions.
You feel a little bad for leaving him to fend with the wolves, but he assured you he was alright and all but pushed you into the kitchen.
Sure enough, your mother was busy rolling out some dough on the countertop for the crust for the top of the peach cobbler.
"Mom," your voice is quiet as you move around the island to where she is.
She turns. "Well, I'll be," she begins, eyes wide and full of surprises. "Ya came."
"I did," you amend with a smile. "And I brought someone I'd like you to meet."
"Some city guy?" Her head moves back to the dough, no longer on you.
"He, yes, he's from the city," your voice is outwardly confused.
"Thought so," her tone is snarky as she delicately lays the dough over the cobbler filling.
"What is that supposed to mean?" It comes out more defensive than you intend.
"Nothin,'" she says flatly. "Enjoyen' your fancy life in the city?"
You roll your eyes, already anticipating the direction this conversation is about to take. "Mom," you urge, your frustration palpable.
"No, hon. I get it," she looks up at you, shrugging. "Honestly, surprised you came. Wouldn't wanna dim your new sparkly life," her tone is condescending. "That is why it's been so long, right?"
"It's not like that," you try to justify, but you know it will do no good.
She completely disregards that, instead changing the subject. "Supper's ready," she bussies herself with stirring the gravy. "Better snag yourself a seat quick," her tone is dry. "Table hasn't grown none."
You release a shallow breath, turning around to escape this stupid God-damned kitchen and moving to find John.
It's a familiar feeling, this resignation.
Guess some things never change.
You approach him, and before you say a word, his eyes are already locked on you, body language now stiff. "What's the matter?" His hands are on you in an instant.
You should have known.
He can read you like one of those mission reports he reads daily.
"Nothing," you mutter, forcing a smile, but the words feel heavy with the things you're hiding.
His eyes narrow. "Can't lie to me," he voices.
You'd just about rather crawl in a hole and die than re-account.
What was supposed to be a happy recount turned sour rather quickly.
"Tell me," he urges, sensing your inner turmoil.
"Drop it," your tone is more icey than usual. "Please."
He gives you a light nod, eyes full of concern.
"Let's go eat, okay?" Your hand moves to his, intertwining your fingers, and guilt claws up your throat.
He gives you a nod as you drag him into the dining room to snag a seat at the main table.
Mom was right. The table is still too small to accommodate a family of this size, so another table sits outside and another in the living room.
Others crowd around the breakfast nook and sit on barstool at the kitchen island.
This house has never known loneliness.
Your mother, father, sister, sister's daughter, and your sister's fiance are at the table with you and John.
Your niece opts to sit next to you, gushing about her new boyfriend, the son of the florist downtown, and asking questions about the city.
"Hush now, darlin.' She gets all fussy about that," your mother chides your niece, referring to your early conversation about you living in the city.
"Mom," you quip, eyes wide at her sheer audacity.
She hadn't even addressed John, just jumping straight into a fight.
Typical.
"I'm just sayin.' Ya jumped all over me for talkin' about it," she says, trying to sound innocent.
Seems her memory is slipping.
"That's not why I got upset," your tone is teetering between desperation and frustration, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air.
She plops some mashed potatoes on her plate before passing the bowl along. "Then what was it ya were so hurt about earlier, huh?"
You're sure steam is rolling out of your ears.
"You hold a, a vendetta against me for leaving," you spew without much thought, anger taking over. "Because you never got to leave, you take it out on me," you finish, and you're sure you're shaking.
If all eyes weren't on you before, they are now.
John is leaning back in his chair, eyes wide.
He's kind of scared if he touches you, you'll punch him, so he instead crosses his arm over his chest.
"I think the city is cool," your niece randomly chimes in, clearly trying to ease the tension. "Would love to visit someday."
You give her a smile before your mother starts up again.
"Didn't your mother teach ya about city girls," she snaps to your niece. "Nothin' good ever came from any of em.'"
You can taste the metallic taste of blood on your tongue; you had bitten your cheek so hard you bled.
"Ain't that right," your mother says, eyes shifting to your sister.
Your sister is great.
Just not in the presence of your mother.
She takes on her personality and thoughts.
Agreeing with her without a second thought
That includes her fights.
"It's true," she snickers. "City girls can't tell a pencil from a pecker."
You find yourself standing abruptly, and your sister matches your action, spewing more garbage.
And for some reason, her fiance stands up, which makes John stand up, matching his movements.
He's easily a foot taller than her fiance, and he's much more muscular, too.
"Enough," John's low, commanding voice is fitting for a military captain. It splices through the room, the commotion dying as he speaks. "I will not sit here and let you treat my wife like this," his head tilts towards your sister and then to your mother. "Now or ever."
He doesn't even need to yell to get any attention.
His voice just demands attention already.
Your sister, usually so quick with a retort, is silent.
The fear in her eyes is unmistakable, adding to the intensity of the confrontation.
She’s scared.
Hell, everyone is.
Well, except your niece, whose lip quips secretly, a small smirk playing on her lips despite the tension in the room.
"Your daughter came down on her own merit to see you," he points to your mother. "Could have done so many other things, but she wanted to see you," he enunciates the last word.
"Well, she—" Your mother begins, her face bright red with anger, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
"Tired of hearin' the excuses," his voice cuts through hers. She quickly shuts up, a surprising silence falling over her. "Can't even believe your daughter turned out as amazing as she did growing up with this," he gestures towards you.
He stands with his hands on his hips, disappointment is evident on his face.
"My wife is a God-damn saint," his voice is rough.
You find your lip quipping at the praise and how much he appreciates you.
He worships the ground you walk on.
That was made abundantly clear.
His hands reach to rest on your lower back. "Appreciate the food, but we'll be leavin' now," he mutters, stepping back to push his chair in.
You don't argue with him.
Hell, how could you?
He said everything you couldn't
Laid all your thoughts on the table and even added some extra.
He did what he was born to do: protect.
You step away, push your chair in, and turn around, not bothering to say goodbye as you walk to the front door.
You'll text your niece later.
The chill in the air, carrying the scent of magnolia trees and damp earth, hits you like a slap to the face.
John's hand is still on your lower back, guiding you back to the truck.
He opens the door so you can slip inside as he makes his way around the driver's seat.
The heater is blasting as he shoves the key into the keyhole, and the engine is stirring alive as he easily backs out and pulls onto the road.
The silence is heavy as he drives down a straight, desolate road.
It's silent for a moment before he starts to comment, apologizing profusely about how he overstepped and saying sorry that this trip turned out bad.
You're tuning him out and instead focusing on how he stood up for you.
He was just such a man.
He always knew how to be what you needed him to be.
Protector.
Listener.
Talker.
He always knew which role to take on to support you, to be your anchor in the storm of emotions.
Just that thought alone made you incredibly wet.
You don't know why.
You should be crying from the way things unfolded with your family.
But you're not sad, not even remotely.
Just incredibly horny.
You find yourself slipping the rubberband off your wrist and quickly tying your hair in a messy ponytail.
"Hon," John says, noting your unusual silence. "I'm so sorry," he quickly glances your way before looking back at the road.
You don't speak, opting to brush your hand against his cargo pants as your fingers fumble with his zipper.
He makes a noise of surprise. "What're you doin?'" He asks, his voice breathy.
"You took care of me," you mumble, shimming your fingers under the waistband of his boxers to release his erect cock, to which he grunts. "Want to do the same," your voice is lazy, as your lips brush against the sensitive head.
"Me yellin' at your mother got you all hot?" He jokes though it dies halfway on his tongue as your lips spread open to accommodate his size.
His knuckles are white as he tightly grips the steering wheel so as not to crash.
Your mouth makes a pop noise before you speak. "You're just so sexy. All manly like that," you mutter against his cock, the tingle of your words sending goosebumps throughout his entire body.
"Am I?" He chokes out as your lips move back to encase his cock.
"So hot," your voice is muffled as you take in more of his cock.
"Oh—Christ, thas' it, hon," he groans as you bob your head up and down.
His mind has gone fuzzy at the feeling of your tight throat, taking him so good, even swerving a little, before quickly straightening the wheels.
"So fuckin' good," he grunts, as one hand moves to gather your ponytail in a loose fist.
Your tongue works in tandem, rubbing against the underside of his cock, sending more pleasure through him. "Such a good girl, babe," he praises, and you just know that your underwear will be soaked.
"So good." Your moan against him at the next praise, making him sputter his hips up, his cock slipping in your mouth entirely.
He chokes out some incoherent words you can't make out; taking note of his body going taut, you can presume he's close.
"Gonna," he strains out as you continue bobbing up and down, his hand tightening around the fistful of your hair. “Come."
You bring your hand to pump the base as your tongue flicks across the tip.
He groans with anguish, legs shaking as he comes in your mouth.
You pull your head up, your eyes boring into his so he can watch you swallow out every last drop, even using your fingers to clean up the residue in the corners of your mouth.
His eyes stay glued to your mouth before you yell at him to watch the road.
"Christ," he shouts, gripping the wheel tight to stay in his lane.
You laugh as you lean, pressing a sideways kiss on his lips.
He can taste himself on your lips.
He almost comes again.
But the high lasts just as short as when you look in the review to see police sirens hot on your tale, the siren invading your eardrums.
John curses but pulls off to the shoulder, sneakily grabbing his military badge in his pocket.
"You always just carry that on you?" You smile slyly, the body still warm from your escapades.
"Will come in handy," he assures, rolling his window down as the officer makes his way to his window.
"Evenin', folks. Gotta call from a concerned driver sayin' you were swervin' out of your lane," he says.
"No, sir. Not us," you answer, John glancing towards you.
"That right?" The officer prods. "I'm going to need to see your license and registration, sir," his monotone voice says.
"Yes, sir," John says, slyly flashing his military badge as he "looks" for his license.
"You're military?" John nods. "Hell," the officer laughs, tucking his notepad back in his pocket. "I know you aren't some juveniles."
John laughs as he glances over to you, glancing down to see a little remnant of his come on your shirt.
He almost feels guilty.
Almost.
He lets out a cough.
"You alright, sir?" The officer asks, brows furrowed.
"Yeah. Fine," his voice is strained.
You shoot him a look before the officer starts again.
"Well, I'll let ya'll get on your way," he pats the top of the car.
You both issue a heartfelt thanks before John pulls back out onto the road, a palpable sense of relief in your voices.
"Can't believe he just let you off," you groan, hand coming to intertwine his.
"Thought you'd be happy?" He laughs. "Can get to the hotel in record time now."
You raise a knowing eyebrow. "For what?"
"Saw you squirmin' in that seat," he teases, his affectionate tone wrapping around you. "I need to take care of my girl," he adds, his voice filled with warmth and love.
You release a shallow breath.
His girl.
You.
Just you.
That's what you loved about loving him.
You didn't have to keep up with his expectations.
You could simply exist, and he would kiss the ground you walk on.
The thought lit up your brain.
John Price was your man.
And in his eyes, you'd always be his girl.
mini author's note: i'd have to be surgically removed from him...
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
"I think you should take off your veil now. You need to impress the princes so that one of them could take pity and marry you. Or you could try black magic-"
"Baris, I will pull your tongue out and strangle you with it if you say another word." You muttered, holding your head in your hands.
After Baris landed the "marriage bomb" on you last night, you've been stressed. Why did I have to teach Mihirmah? Why did I have to accept the bracelet? Why did I-
"You have bags under your eyes, and considering that they're the only feature visible, its not good-" You threw a pillow at him, which he dodged easily. You hadnt slept at all, how could you? You tried to figure out a plan, that didnt work. You tried to fix your time machine, that was not going to work at all without tools.
"You could be wrong." You mumbled, opening your eyes as you stared ahead. "This bracelet could be nothing but just a kind gesture. It is not a marriage proposal. You're wrong-"
Baris cut you off. "I know it seems impossible, considering how you look, even I'm surprised- but I'm never wrong, Y/n. I've worked here for more 25 years, I know what everyone thinks." You stared at him with a pinched expression.
"You have to help me, Baris."
He smiled. "Of course, you'd be lost cause else wise! I'll get the seamstress to make you some new clothes-"
"No, I meant- you have to help me escape. I cant- I dont want to get married!"
He scoffed. "Darling, we're alone right now. You can drop the "I dont wanna marry a prince and enjoy the luxuries of the world" act."
"I mean it!" You huff.
"And why is that?"
"Because-" you bit your lip. What excuse can you possibly come up with to satisfy him?
"I love someone else."
"How tragic." He said monotonously. "Love has no place in the harem. You're here to attract, serve and please the royal family." He walked closer to you, leaning down as he lowered his volume. "And I'm going to give you some advice: you better not use that excuse again, never even MUMBLE about having a lover again, not unless you want to be tortured and executed for being a traitor."
You knew what he was referring to. The harem, the concubines, the whole palace was filled with jealousy. If anyone were to hear about this, they would use it against you, conjure up such vulgar lies that the sultan will chop off your head.
"Baris I cant-"
"You dont have a choice, Y/n." He cut you off harshly. "I suggest you suck it up and pretend to be happy or else you'll be in for a hard life."
"Now, get ready. You need to teach a lesson."
-
"You look sick."
You resist rolling your eyes. "Yes, I know I'm ugly. Thank you for keeping me updated."
Mihirmah shook her head. "No, I mean you dont look well. Are you alright?"
No, I lost sleep because of you and-
"Just tired, Mihirmah. I think we've should stop here today." You watched her beam.
"Finally! Now we can celebrate!" Mihirmah clapped her hands as the servants brought in some tea and sweets. She had initially wanted to celebrate her victory from last night as soon as you came in, but you wanted to get the lesson done with so that you could leave.
"You enjoy it. You did a good job." You tried to excuse herself but she frowned.
"I did. And so did you! I mean, the way you made Mahidevran shut up! It was amazing!" She took a piece of sweet and handed it to you. "Besides, my father appreciated your efforts as well-"
You looked down at the bracelet. This was more of a death sentence than a gift.
"Mihirmah." You took off your bracelet. "I- I appreciate the sultan's gift, but I cant accept this. Its too much- its-" you mentally rolled your eyes at your next excuse. "Its above me."
She furrowed her brows. "Even if that may be the case, which its not because you fully deserve that after the showdown, you still cannot refuse or return a sultan's gift, much less one that he made himself!" She tilted her head. "What is really going on? Why do you not want the bracelet? And dont say its not to your taste, because lets face it- you probably have not seen jewels like this in your life."
Biting the inside of your cheek to prevent the insults from slipping out, you took a breath.
"I... heard that..." you took another breath. How do you say "I dont want the bracelet because I dont wanna marry any of your brothers" without sounding narcissistic. "I... I heard that there might be a different meaning behind the bracelet. That it may signify... something else."
"Which is...?" She prompted you.
You exhaled.
"That I might be considered to be... a spouse for a sehzade."
Mihirmah snorted as you looked down to conceal both your embarrassment and fear.
"I'm sorry- what did you say?" She was laughing now. You continued to look down. As long as she's laughing and not getting mad at you for even suggesting such a thing, you're fine. Besides, if she's laughing then it means that all that bullshit Baris was spewing earlier was just that- bullshit.
"You think- my father, the sultan, wants you- YOU, to marry one of his sons?" She wiped a tear away from her eye as she laughed. "That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard. True, father does only give handmade gifts to those he considers close, but I dont think thats true in your case, Y/n. You're just my teacher, that's all. Besides, even if you were to be considered as a potential spouse for my brothers, you have my mother and Mahivdevran standing in your way. And trust me, they're going to marry their sons to someone they like. You- they cant even tolerate you as my teacher at this point of time."
Sighing in relief, you nod. "Well, that's great to hear-"
"Wait." Mihirmah narrows her eyes at you. "If you thought that my father wanted to marry you to one of his sons, why did you want to return the bracelet? Did you- did you not want to marry my brother?"
Oh shit. "Mihirmah no-" You tried to pacify her.
But she snapped at you. "What? You think you're better than my brothers? Any of them? You'd be lucky if Mehmed or Mustafa chose you, if such a miracle does happen."
Your eyes were wide at her venomous tone. You dont know whether it was because she was protective of her brothers, or if she just really hated the idea that you would consider rejecting royalty.
A few more moments of silence went by. "You misunderstand me, sultana." You chose her title to please her. "I know of my status, and I am well aware of how... lowly I am to be a part of this family. The only reason I was returning the bracelet was because... I didnt want the harem to assume things and threaten or hurt me. I am aware that the sehzade have their favourite concubines, much better equipped to their tastes. But if they were to see this bracelet gifted by the sultan on me, they would... it would cause misunderstandings. I just wanted to avoid that."
Your words were carefully selected to not aggravate her any further, which it didnt but they also didnt calm her down.
Mihirmah's face was still sour. "The concubines are smart enough to figure out who's a competition and who's just a mere servant. You have nothing to worry about."
The words stung but... you just bowed and took your leave instead of slapping her across the face.
Mehmed had just turned the corner when he saw you leaving Mihirmah's room with tears pooling in your eyes, the niqaab only causing them to look more prominent.
He entered Mihirmah's room, finding his sister looking angry as she gazed into space.
"Mihirmah?" He sat down beside her, noticing how she didnt immediately light up as she always did when he came. What did you do to piss her off so much?
He cupped her face to look at him. "What's wrong? Tell me."
-
You're laying in your bed, arm over your eyes as you try to think of a way out of here.
When will the time machine work again?
Its not like you can go out of the palace to get help or even tools to work on it, and you always fear that someone just may walk in on you tinkering with the machine. The only place where you can get privacy in this palace here is the dungeons, only because its dark and oh-so-daunting that it doesnt really attract people there.
There's a knock on your door. With a grunt, you get up and open the door, only to find no one there. Your room was in the harem, but it was on the upper floor, so you could see the whole area from above, including the silhouette of someone leaving the harem doors.
Normally, you wouldn't have bothered with the "door bell pranks", but you made your way down because 1. you're not familiar with what this might mean, maybe some royal summoned you and you're to follow the servant. 2. you're bored.
When you left the harem and looked to your left, spotting the back of a girl in red dress, you knew she was baiting you to follow her. So you did, turning around the corridor only to be body slammed to the wall.
3 women surround you, blocking any escape routes. They're all glaring at you, and you recognise their faces. They're the concubines.
You clear your throat. "Well? I suppose you have something to say that you couldnt say in there."
The brunette in front of you narrows her eyes. "Who do you think you are?"
"Why dont you tell me?"
Her glare intensifies. "You think you can just bat your lashes and whore yourself to the sehzade?"
"Heh?"
The raven haired girl on her right grabbed your throat and banged your head against the wall behind. "Dont play dumb! We know you're trying to marry the prince!"
The blonde on the left banged your head against the wall this time, gritting out "Stay away from sehzade Mustafa!"
"And sehzade Mehmed!" the brunette warned, repeating the same assault as the other two.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you rubbed the sore spot on the back of your head. "None of your accusations are true. Unlike you, I actually have a respectable job here-"
"We saw the bracelet! You think you can just prance around here, pretending to be this holy and pure, untainted girl while we work ourselves to the bone to get in bed?!" The brunette screamed at you, getting in your face.
You pushed her away. "First of all, I am not interested in marrying anyone. Secondly, the bracelet means nothing than a job well done. And finally- you seem to mistake your status over me. I dont work for you, or under you. So, this is for earlier-" You slapped her hard across the face, making her fall. The other two were in shock, and you took that as an opputunity to slap them too.
"Now, we're even." You huffed, adjusting your niqaab before turning on your heel to leave. You needed to slap them, not only because you need to let them know they cant bully you, but also because you needed to release some steam. It felt good, you wont lie. You may have even imagined some people's faces as you smacked them-
"Omph!" You're pushed to the ground, flipped over onto your back. You grab on to the hands that are wrapped around your neck, eyes wide as the brunette starts to choke you.
"You stupid bitch!" She screamed as you fought hard to pull her hands away. She yanked the veil off your face, smacking your cheek hard enough to scratch you with her sharp nails.
"Laira stop-" the blonde tried to pull her off you but Laira continued to beat you.
"Hand me the torch!"
"Laira-" The blonde started again but the raven haired grabbed the fire sconce off the wall and handed it to Laira.
You stared in horror as she brought the torch closer to your face, the heat radiating. She grinned manically, one hand still squeezing your throat.
"You're not even that pretty for a sehzade. Did you use black magic on them?" She clicked her tongue, while your eyes were fixated on the torch. "I guess, it wont be futile to ruin your face for guarantee."
"Please no-" she choked you harder with her man hands that you just couldnt seem to pry off, and you sort of became paralysed as the dancing flames took you back to the night in the desert, when the assassins set your tent on fire. Everything slowed down, and noise drowned out like in the movies.
Salauddin. Help-
The flames suddenly vanish from your view as Laira is thrown off you.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" The man roared behind you. Your eyes moved from the shaking concubines to your saviour.
Ibrahim pasha.
"Pasha bey-"
"Shut it. Guards! Throw them to the dungeons!" Ibrahim yelled and automatically, 4 Janisarries appeared from behind him and dragged the wailing girls away.
Ibrahim looks down at you, his eyes shifting from rage to sympathy. He crouches down and helps you sit up, his touch gentle.
"Are you alright, Hatun Y/n?" You're staring at him in a daze, your body has not recovered enough to physically react, almost on autopilot.
Say something.
"Y/n?" He asks again, his brows furrowing as his concern deepens. Why does everything sound so far, so low?
He snaps his fingers near your ear, and your brain finally reacts.
"Y-yes." You tear your gaze away, looking at the fire torch lying on the ground far from you.
Fire. Second time you were almost burnt to death.
"Come on." He helps you up, gently tugging you to follow him. A few shaky steps later, you follow him to your room.
He sat you down on the bed. "There we go." Ibrahim pasha scanned your face for any burns or injuries, noting the nail marks from the slap.
"Baris Agha!" Ibrahim called and a few seconds later, the eunuch stumbled in.
"Yes, pasha- ya Allah, what happened to-"
"Baris." Ibrahim snapped at him. "Get me bandages and healing balm. And keep quiet about this." Baris only nodded before following orders.
You cleared your throat. "I... thank you for saving me, pasha." Ibrahim smiled courteously as he sat on a chair nearby.
"It was my duty. Sultan Suleiman had asked me to keep an eye on you."
Your brows furrowed. "Why?"
Ibrahim looked at the bracelet around your wrist. "I suppose you did something to make him pleased."
He relaxed in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. "So... what happened with the concubines?"
"Misunderstanding." You said dismissively.
"And what that might be?" He prodded. When you didnt reply, he sighed. "I am the pasha, the sultan's right hand. I am supposed to know what happens in the palace."
"Its nothing of significance. You can let the girls out of the dungeon."
"I'm afraid that decision is not upto you." Ibrahim deadpanned. "If you do not wish to tell me, fine. I have other ways of finding out." He made his threat clear and began standing up.
"Wait!" You clenched your niqaab, looking at the veil in your lap. "I'll tell you, but... you cant tell anyone."
Ibrahim stared at you before nodding, sitting back down.
"There may have been a rumour... the cocncubines- they think that the bracelet, a gift from the sultan means that I am... special." You mumbled the last word.
"Special how?"
"They think... that the sultan wants me to be his... daughter-in-law. Actually, they think that I am wooing the sehzades- Mustafa and Mehmed."
"And are you?" He asks immeadiately.
"Of course not!"
"Why not? Anyone would love to marry a prince."
You scoffed. "I would never want to be a part of this family, not even as a teacher."
He raised a brow. "Hate the Ottomans?" You shake your head. "No. But I wouldn't want to be a part of it." You clicked your tongue. "Everyone in this palace is a slave. The concubines, the servants, the wives, the kids, you and me too. The wives of the sultan, they have all the luxuries one could imagine... except for the loyalty of their husband. Not to mention, they have to live in constant fear of being replaced and be in paranoia forever because everyone who is not family, is a threat to her. The kids? If you're born a boy, sure- you are immediately given a superior status, but with such power and princely status also comes with its own drawbacks. The boy will have to always be compete with his brothers, not because he wants to be the next sultan, but for survival."
In Ottoman empire, there was a common practice of fratricide- a tradition where once the next sultan is chosen, the new sultan is allowed LEGALLY to kill his brothers, stepbrothers, nephews and even female relatives (sisters included) as well, so as to get rid of any future competition or betrayal by his own family. In a nutshell, it was done to prevent civil wars.
"If you're born as a girl, then you may have a better chance of survival than your brothers, but that's still not guaranteed. Not to mention, you are raised to be married off to someone that will strengthen the royal family. Not to someone you love." Ibrahim watched you as you continued. "Its not better to be a servant either. Always being threatened, questioned about your loyalty, having to take the fall for the higher ups. The eunuchs, who think they are all high and mighty and control the court, you and I both know that their job to "protect the women of the harem" wasnt even their choice. To be forcefully castrated as children, forcefully ripped from their families, forced to serve the royals... they dont have a choice. I dont have to tell you how degrading it is to be a concubine."
"And me? How am I a slave?" Ibrahim asked.
You smiled sadly. "You know very well, and youre just trying to see how much I know. Your past is not a well kept secret, pasha." You kept quiet, and Ibrahim realised you already knew about his life.
Ibrahim, born as Orthodox Christian, was enslaved during his childhood. He and Suleiman became close friends in their youth, or perhaps forced to convert to Islam and then raised to befriend Suleiman. Suleiman appointed Ibrahim as grand vizier when he took the throne.
"How do you know?" Ibrahim's gaze was sharp. "I know a lot of things, pasha. But dont worry, I have no ill intent. If anything, I want to be as far from this life as possible. Perhaps... you could help me with that?"
He raised a brow. "I dont think that is an option for you right now." At your frown, he explained. "The safest place for a woman like you is here."
"Did you just forget that my face was almost burned off moments ago?"
He chuckled, shaking his hand. "Of course not. But you need to understand that you cannot just up and go without a word, especially after the sultan just gave you a handmade gift, and whether or not it signifies that he's considered you for one of his sons, it does mean that he considers you important. His majesty will not just accept your leave for no reason." Ibrahim leaned forward, clasping his hands. "As for your safety, you can leave that to me. I will make sure no harm befalls you again. I promise."
"But what about the sehzade? The rumours?"
He hummed thoughtfully. "If you're so concerned about that matter, then you should just avoid the princes as much as you can. Keep your niqaab on, continue your lessons with the princess and avoid interacting with people as much as you can."
Well, its not a bad suggestion. If you make yourself scarce and draw less attention to yourself, you can slip out of the palace and leave unnoticed.
"Oh, pasha?" You called him as he stood up to leave. "Can I request you not to tell about this incident to anyone?" You pointed to bruises on your face.
He grinned and nodded. "Of course. But it is not me you should be worried about talking." At your confused face, he chuckled.
"Baris Agha still hasnt returned."
-
Mihirmah and Mehmed were in your room just a few moments after Ibrahim pasha had fetched the bandages from below and treated your wounds, further confirming that Baris was spreading the news about your attack all over the palace.
"Y/n! Who did this to you?" Mihirmah traced the bruises gently as she sat beside you on the bed, while Mehmed sat in front of you, on the seat previously occupied by Ibrahim pasha- just closer this time.
"I dont know." You lied, pulling yourself away from Mihirmah's concerned touches. Oh you're still mad at her.
Your evasiveness didnt go unnoticed by her, as she dropped her hand and her mouth settled into a thin grim line.
"Why did someone attack you? What happened?" Mehmed asked, cutting the tension.
You shrugged. "I dont know." You fiddled with the niqaab in your lap. There's a big bandage on your cheeks, so while you couldnt exactly wear your veil again, you suppose in a way your face was somewhat covered?
"Probably mistook me for someone else. Or just a misunderstanding." You tried to brush this off.
"Still, it shouldnt warrant such a reaction. We should investigate-" Mehmed started but you shook your head.
"Ibrahim pasha is already looking into the matter. He'll take care of it-"
"I am the sehzade. I will look into this personally." Mehmed stated before leaving the room before anyone could stop him. Ah, to be the knight in shinning armour for a distressed damsel.
You and Mihirmah sat alone now. The air in the room was thick, the silence thicker. Mihirmah glanced at your nonchalant face, your eyes fixated on the ground, not caring how uncomfortable the silence was making the princess.
It was clear she had to break the ice.
"Y/n." She called. "Yes, sultana?" You answered, but your eyes still remained on the ground.
Sultana. Not Mihirmah, like she'd allowed you to call her, but sultana.
She pursed her lips. "I..." She paused. What is she supposed to say? Sorry? The word is as foreign to her as it is to any royal.
"I dont like the things you said this morning." She finally stated. "You shouldnt have said those things."
You resisted the urge to scoff. Is she really trying to pin this on you and make you apologise? Entitled brat-
"You're right, sultana. I was out of line. I suggest we should just stick to our lessons and avoid talking about anything else. I'll be careful not to bring up any other topic." You stated monotonously.
Mihirmah frowned. Why are you saying this? Why are you being so difficult?
"Stop it." She warned. You nodded. "As you wish, sultana. I'll arrange another Quran teacher for you." Your words only enraged her further.
"I said- stop it." She ordered but you're hell bent on making her apologise- a dream, but still. You clicked your tongue. "I suppose I'll hand in my resignation to the sultan and explain to His Majesty that it was my fault for being a useless servant who is just not capable- ow!" You finally looked at her in disbelief.
She pinched you. Mihirmah pinched your arm. Hard.
And she had the gall to glare at you, with some anger and remorse in her eyes.
"What did you do that for?" You spat, hissing as you rubbed the area she'd assaulted. There was going to be a bruise, for sure.
Her frown deepened. "You- I told you to stop, didn't I?!" You watched her trying to contain her rage, her body shaking as she tried not to wrangle you by the neck. "I- I dont want you to leave."
"But sultana-" "Mihirmah. You call me Mihirmah." She emphasised.
You bit the inside of your cheek to suppress your smile. "I am just a dispensable servant-" You jumped back when she went to pinch you again.
"Will you stop doing that?!" Your arm still hurt from her first attack. Mihirmah's nostrils flared. "Will you stop acting like a brat?!"
Your throat made a sound of disbelief. "I am acting like a brat?! Have you looked in the mirror recently?"
"Yes and I look very beautiful! Unlike your busted face!"
"Oh so you just get to insult me?" "I am not insulting you! I am DESCRIBING YOU!" She screamed as you glared at her. Mihirmah took a few deep breaths to calm down. "I am not calling you ugly, I was just referring to the bruises on your face. How did you manage to get beat up so badly? Did you not learn anything from my sparring lessons?"
"Sparring lessons? You mean the times where you would flip me on my back or throw me against the wall?" She glared at your accusation. "How is it my fault that you dont fight back?"
Mihirmah's gaze flicked the arm you were holding, the one she'd pinched. "Does it still hurt?" Her voice was much softer this time.
"Would you like me to pinch you back to demonstrate how much it hurt?" You spat back and she scoffed. "I didnt pinch you that hard. You're just sensitive." "Sure, you must only have meaty man fingers." You grumbled as she gasped and smacked your bruised arm, making you hiss.
The two of you glared at each other before Mihirmah wrapped her arms around you and looked up at you with a small pout.
"This doesnt work on me." You muttered, making her grip tighten around you.
"You know you're not a servant." Mihirmah whispered, looking up at you with puppy eyes, but only you knew the real Ronda Rousey in her.
"You're my friend, Y/n. Or the closest thing I have to a sister." "If you were planning on beating up your sister, I'm glad your parents didnt have one."
"Shut up, you're ruining the moment." Mihirmah scolded you. "I dont want you to go. I dont want you to be hurt, either. So just- I'm willing to let things go back to the way they were before this morning, if you are."
You stared down at her. You knew you were never going to get a real apology, Mihirmah was too prideful. You couldnt make her feel ashamed for her actions, or hold her responsible. So, you'll have to make do with this.
"Fine." She broke into a grin and squeezed her arms around you tightly before letting go.
"Now, tell me! Who were these girls who attacked you? I'll skin them with my daggers!" Ignoring her sociopathic tendencies, you shrugged. "I dont know, Mihirmah. I dont know who they were- I'm still new to the palace."
She hummed before her face lit up in realisation. "Wait! Baris Agha did say something about concubines. I'll ask Mehmed too when he returns with more information from Ibrahim pasha!"
-
While you are trying your best to hide the incident about your attack, unbeknownst to you, the news has spread like wildfire in the palace. A maid saw Mehmed entering Ibrahim pasha's office, and when she reported it to her friend, she then told her about how she overheard the eunuchs talking about a fight breaking out between the concubines and someone else, and then someone added that they saw Ibrahim pasha, Mehmed and Mihirmah in your room, so you were involved too. It wasnt long before this news reached Hurrem and Mahidevran, only this time it was more dramatised.
"The concubines tried to kill Hatun Y/n! It was only by pure luck that sehzade Mehmed saved her! And now her wounds are being tended to by Mihirmah sultana while sehzade Mehmed and Ibrahim pasha are punishing the concubines!" Gul, the chamber maid, told Mahidevran.
Mahidevran narrowed her eyes. "Why did they save her? She's just a teacher." The queen didnt understand why the royal children were going through such lengths to get justice for you. Fights in the harem break out all the time.
Gul fumbled with her thumbs, avoiding eye contact with her queen. Mahidevran's frown deepened. "What is it, Gul?"
"I- sultana- I just heard some rumors, its probably not even true-" "Out with it!" Mahidevran snapped.
Gul licked her lips as she spoke. "Um- I overheard that sehzade Mehmed has been... spending a lot of time with Hatun Y/n. Especially after the dinner where Mihirmah sultana recited-"
Mehmed... spending time with you? Why? If he wanted to sleep with you, he could have any girl from the harem. So why you? Why you, a Quran teacher, a conservative girl who covered herself from head to toe? Surely, Mehmed hadnt been bewitched by your physical appearance- not that you had any, in her opinion. And then Suleiman seemed to like you to, so for Mehmed to fancy you would be because-
Mahidevran's eyes widened at the sudden realisation.
"Get me Mustafa. Now!"
-
"Hatun Y/n was attacked by the concubines! Ibrahim pasha saved her and carried her unconscious form to her room!" A maid reported to Hurrem.
"Why was she attacked?" Hurrem asked, bored.
The maid hesitated to answer. "I am not sure, sultana, but the word is that the concubines were jealous of the attention Hatun Y/n was getting from sehzade Mustafa."
Mustafa? No. What possible business could you have with Mustafa? From the past week's events, Hurrem was told that you'd spend most of your time with her daughter, and only moments with Mehmed when he visited his sister.
"Mustafa isnt interested in Y/n." Hurrem stated, more to herself than to refute the maid's claims.
The girl nodded. "I'm only telling you what I heard, sultana. And... I also saw sehzade Mustafa leaving Mahidevran sultana's chambers to visit Hatun Y/n earlier today, just moments before I came here!"
Hurrem halted as she tried to make sense of the information. Mustafa was out all day because of the hunt, he wasnt supposed to return before dinner. Which means, he was fetched, likely by Mahidevran. Who probably informed him about your attack and now he went to check on you.
But why? Even at the dinner the other day, Hurrem didnt detect any sort of affection from Mustafa for you, or you from him. You both barely glanced at each other.
Maybe he's just checking in on you. That's all it is to it.
"How badly was Y/n injured?" Hurrem inquired.
"I didnt get a chance to see her yet, she's been with Mihirmah sultana since the event, but I heard that her unconscious body had to be carried by Ibrahim pasha himself! And- and that he even bandaged her up-"
"Ibrahim pasha?" Hurrem whispered to herself. What business did he have with you? He could've easily had a servant tend to your wounds, so why did he personally do it himself?
Ibrahim. Mustafa. Mahidevran. What are they upto? Hurrem knows Ibrahim doesnt like her, that he favours Mahidevran and Mustafa over her, that he wants Mustafa to be the next sultan-
Hurrem's heart sinks as she pieces it together.
"Get me Mehmed. Now!"
-
Suleiman was having dinner with his family. Both of his families- Mahidevran and Mustafa joined him tonight as well. He was happy to have them together, all well and healthy.
Except... something was off.
Suleiman's gut could sense it. The children were making small talk, his wives as well, but he could tell. There was some sort of tension.
It was Mihirmah that made him finally speak up.
"Mihirmah." He called out the girl who was playing with her food. "You've barely eaten. What's wrong?"
The room immediately fell dead silent, the attention now focusing on Mihirmah.
She smiled nervously, taking a small bite. "I'm fine, baba."
But Suleiman could see that her usual bubbling aura was somewhat depressing. "Mihirmah." He called her name more sternly, and this time, her smile faltered as she finally spilled.
"I'm just worried for Y/n."
Suleiman frowned. And when he looked at everyone else, it was clear that they knew something he wasn't aware of.
"What happened?"
-
Baris Agha was having fun riling you up. "So, you're telling me that both sehzade Mustafa and Mehmed, the two crown princes racing to be the next sultan, are visited you?" He snickered as you shot him a glare. "Can I just suggest you to remove the niqaab for the wedding-"
"Baris! Shut up!" You raged at him. "Dont think I dont know you were the one spreading the lies about-" "Lies? About what? About you being attacked? By concubines who are jealous of your- I dont know, I'm sorry what it is that these men seem to be enraptured with-"
There are hurried, intense knocks on the door. Baris opens the door as a servant stumbles in, out of breath.
"Hatun Y/n! Sultan Suleiman has summoned you! Now!" His tone signified that you're not to waste time.
"Why did he call for me?" You whisper to Baris as the two of you rush down the hallways.
"Perhaps he wants to formally ask you to marry one of his sons-" "Baris!" He grinned. "What? I have a sixth sense-" "YOU HAVE NO SENSE!" You yelled. "Have more sense than you." Baris grumbled.
"Why are you even following me? Dont you have a job?" You wanted him to stop vexing you.
He snorted. "And what? Miss out on all the fun? Besides, you know as the future sultana, you will need me-"
"I swear, as soon as I'm finished meeting the sultan, I am going to throw you off the roof."
The two of you turned the corner leading to the royal dining hall, and you bumped face first into Ibrahim pasha's back, the man catching you by the arms before you fell on your ass.
"P-pasha? What are you doing here?" You asked, backing up once you got your footing.
"Sultan sent for me. What are you doing here?" Ibrahim asked, equally confused.
"He summoned me as well. What do you think its about?" You watched the cogwheels in his mind turn and the realisation dawn on him.
"The attack earlier." He exhaled, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out his next steps. "We cant- you cant tell him the truth!"
"You want me to lie to the sultan?" He rose his brows. "Please, Ibrahim! I- I told Mihirmah and Mehmed and then Mustafa that I didnt know who the attackers were, or why they attacked me! If you tell them the truth-"
"Y/n." He grabbed your shoulders, staring into your worried eyes. "I promised to protect you, didnt I? I intend on keeping my promises."
You both entered the dining room together, bowing to the royal family sitting there.
"Y/n." You looked up at the sultan. "Is it true? Were you attacked?"
You were quiet for a few moments, resisting the urge to glance at Ibrahim to figure what to say, before nodding hesitantly.
"Y-yes, sultan." You trailed your eyes back to the ground. These people, they were warriors. They didnt have any technology back then, and they had to rely on body language to read people.
And you didnt want to risk him catching you in a lie.
"Are you alright?" Suleiman's voice was much softer now. "Did you go to the infirmary?"
"I'm well now, sultan. Thank you for asking." You meekly answered. "I was saved in time, thanks to Ibrahim pasha."
Mahidevran's eyes narrowed at you. Ibrahim saved you? Of course, you'd lie about that, so that no one would suspect you and Mehmed getting close. She thought to herself.
"Ah, Ibrahim pasha." Suleiman's voice turned serious. "You were the one who saved Y/n?"
"Yes, sultan." Ibrahim confirmed.
"And you have the attackers in custody?"
"Yes, sultan."
Suleiman slammed his fist on the table, rattling everyone. "Then why the hell wasnt I informed of it?!" Ibrahim kept his head down as the sultan continued to rage. "Why does everyone seem to be aware of this matter, except me?! Answer me, Ibrahim!"
Hurrem couldnt help the smile that curled on her lips. She was glad to see Ibrahim getting in trouble, perhaps Suleiman will finally get rid of him for once and for all-
"It's my fault, your majesty!" You announced suddenly, and everyone's focus shifted to you. "I- I was- I was shaken up from the attack and I- I made the pasha stay with me. I was too scared- I didnt think I was safe- so Ibrahim pasha left to make arrangements to assure me I was safe! He was busy because of me. I'm sorry! If- if anyone should be punished, it should be me!"
You held your hands together tightly to stop them from trembling. The room fell silent at your explanation, with you and Ibrahim holding your breaths.
"Is this true, Ibrahim?" Suleiman broke the silence.
"Yes, my sultan." Ibrahim answered. "After I had saved Hatun Y/n, I wanted to assure her of her safety, so I was busy interrogating the concubines who attacked her. After they confessed, I wanted to check if anyone else in the harem had any ill intentions for Hatun Y/n, so I was engaged in checking everyone who could be a possible threat. I was on my way to inform you, but you summoned me before I could."
"Concubines? Why did they attack Y/n?" Suleiman asked, wanting to know the result of his interrogation.
Ibrahim answered without missing a beat. "They were jealous of Hatun Y/n's bracelet." You looked at him but the pasha kept his eyes ahead at the sultan. "From what I gathered, Hatun Y/n refused to give up His Majesty's handmade gift, and when she put up a fight to defend your present, she was subjected to a harsh beating and had her face almost burned."
Suleiman's eyes widened. "Burned? Because of a bracelet?"
"It was what the bracelet represented, my sultan." Ibrahim's statement made your heart sink. He better not tell him about the "daughter-in-law" theory.
"The concubines think that you... favour Y/n over them." Ibrahim's words set fire to your cheeks and you had to bite your lip to suppress the gasp you almost let out.
Ibrahim decided to change the "daughter-in-law" theory to "3rd wife/bedwarmer theory".
"What rubbish?!" Suleiman slammed his fist on the table again, and perhaps everyone in the room was silently grateful for his rage and disbelief, as it disapproved the theory and quelled any future rumours. "I only see Y/n as my daughter, nothing else! How dare they slander me like that?! How dare they hurt someone I care about?! Ibrahim, execute those wretched concubines!"
Your eyes widened at the order. Preventing their death sentence was the only reason you lied and kept this charade up. You cant risk more people dying and history changing forever because of you!
"Y-your majesty!" You fell to your knees, your voice wet. "I- I beg you- I beg you on the behalf of the concubines, please- have mercy!"
Everyone watched in surprise as you cried for mercy for... your attackers?
"You... want me to forgive them? Despite what they did to you?" Suleiman asked, watching in disbelief at your tears wetting your niqaab.
"It- it was wrong- but please, they're just- they're just young girls. They made a mistake, they shouldnt pay with their lives!" You tried to come up with better reasoning. Aha!
"Sultan, I- we are Muslims. You are a role model for Muslims all over the world right now- but you have a role model as well- someone you havent met or seen, but you follow his advices and footsteps every day. Its Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)- and- and he advices us to be forgiving and merciful." Ibrahim watched you try to persuade the king.
"On the Day of Judgement, when we beg and grovel Allah for forgiveness, would He not forgive us happily if we show mercy to His creatures? If we forgive His mankind?" You pleaded and Suleiman was touched by your words, so-much-so that he walked over to you and pulled you by your shoulders before pressing a kiss to your veiled forehead.
"You're too kind, Y/n." He whispered, before nodding at Ibrahim. "Dont kill the concubines. But find a fitting punishment for them, Ibrahim." The pasha bowed his head obediently.
"And find Y/n her personal chambers in the royal wing." Suleiman stated, making everyone surprised.
No. Room in the royal wing only meant more contact with the royals themselves. This was the last thing you needed-
"Your majesty-" He held up a hand. "Dont protest, Y/n. You were hurt because of my present and while I appreciate that you defended it, I do not wish to see you hurt. Ibrahim, find her a room and shift her there by tonight. And assign a few guards and servants to Y/n as well. I dont want her to feel unsafe again." Suleiman looked at Ibrahim with a serious expression. "I trust her in your hands, Ibrahim."
"Of course, your majesty." Ibrahim nodded.
Suleiman looked back at you, a gentle smile on his face. "I would like you to join us for dinners now." He gently pushed your back and Mahidevran immediately scooted a bit closer to Suleiman's seat and patted the space beside her... and next to Mustafa.
Hurrem glared at the blatant display of intentions- Mahidevran showed her "generosity and humbleness" by letting you sit next to her to please Suleiman, and also make you sit next to her son to get close with.
At this moment, both queens are under the impression that Suleiman wants you to be his future daughter-in-law, so both women think that the other is making her son court you because the first one to marry you will produce a heir, further legitimising the prince's claim to the throne and becoming the next sultan, especially since Suleiman views you to be the perfect, pious woman who would be the perfect mother for his grandkids.
The only difference is- Mahidevran wants you to be Mustafa's spouse, not because she thinks you're a good match for her perfect son, but because she wants to speed up Mustafa's claim to the throne. She knows Suleiman prefers Hurrem over her (Hurrem's five kids are proof of that), and since she has no child other than Mustafa, Mahidevran is at disadvantage and she needs every advantage she can get, no matter how savoury it is- like you.
Hurrem on the other hand, does not want you as her Mehmed's spouse, because you're not what she had in mind for her precious son. She wants someone soft, demure, submissive, beautiful and more importantly- someone she can control. But she also knows what game Mahidevran is playing, and since Hurrem doesnt want Mustafa trying to steal the throne from Mehmed, Hurrem will have to just- get rid of you.
-
"So... the sultan just said that outloud?" Baris ate a date from the fancy table in your brand new chambers. "He just announced that you're his "daughter" to everyone?" He heard you groan a yes from your place on the bed- face buried in the pillows.
"And Mahidevran sultana made you sit between her and sehzade Mustafa?" He heard you groan another "yes".
Baris plopped down next to you. "So you're marrying Mustafa. Huh, didnt bet on that-"
"You bet on this?" You asked miserably, finally pulling your head up. "Of course, need to make money. Unlike you, not everyone has the oppurtunity to marry into royalty-"
You smack a pillow right across his face. "If I hear you talk about marriage again, I will strangle you."
Baris rolled his eyes, fixing his hair that you'd messed up. "I dont know why you're so upset. Did you want to sit next to Mehmed instead? If so, maybe I can still win the bet-"
"I dont want either of them!" You stated frustratedly, sitting up. "Do you not get it- I dont want to be a part of royalty! They're- they're all mad! My life would be in constant threat- from jealous concubines, possessive mother-in-laws, throne hungry princes. I dont want that!"
"Is it because you want Ibrahim pasha?"
You blinked at him. What? "What?"
Baris rubbed his chin. "Oh come on, I saw the way you two looked at each other before you entered the dining room- how the pasha promised to protect you, even from the sultan's wrath."
"Are you like- fishing for anything? For fun?" You shake your head at him.
Baris gave you a look. "Really? What about you going in and lying to protect him? He didnt even say anything before you took the chance to save him."
"I saved him because it was the right thing to do! Not because I love him!" You exclaimed, throwing your hand in the air. "If this is how you think, please- PLEASE resist the urge to ever help me! I dont want a proposal coming from you just because you saved me from choking."
Baris glared at you. "First of all- I'm never going to be as blind as the sehzade when it comes to love. Secondly, you'd be lucky to have me as a husband. At least your offspring will have a chance at looking somewhat normal-" You lunged at him and put him in a chokehold while Baris grabbed at your hijaab covered head to pull you off.
Your fighting match is brought to a halt as someone knocks on the door.
Mustafa stands outside your door, surprised to see Baris looking slightly disheveled when he opened your door.
"Baris? What are you doing here?" Mustafa asked, watching the eunuch fix his collar.
"Ah sehzade! Oh I was just helping Hatun Y/n adjust to her room. Shift her things in here." Baris faked a smile.
Mustafa nodded before lowering his voice. "Is she awake?"
"Yes yes- please come in." Mustafa walked inside just as you appeared out of the wooden divider screen, adjusting your niqaab.
"Sehzade." You gave him a courtesy. "How may I help you?"
Mustafa gave you a gentle smile, his moustache quirking up handsomely. "I would like to ask you to spend the day with me tomorrow."
You froze, and you didnt dare look at Baris who you knew was sporting a smug look because you didnt want to throw your shoe at his face in front of the prince.
"I- I think I am busy with Mihrimah sultana tomorrow-"
"No, I asked her. She said she's happy to skip her lessons for tomorrow." Mustafa cut your excuse. "I'll come by after breakfast. Good night, Y/n."
-
Even though Mustafa said he'll see you after breakfast, which for royals was just an hour before noon, you were woken up by Baris at the ass crack of dawn.
"Baris! What the hell?" You glared at him when he yanked the covers off you. Baris grinned at you. "As much as I'd like to believe in beauty sleep, its so not helping in your case. Come on, you need a bath and a lot of other stuff!"
He'd brought fine silk gowns and matching niqaabs (which you insisted on wearing despite Baris voicing his displeasure).
Currently, one of the maids had just finished doing your eye makeup- which in this case was kohl, and some dried berries crushed to a fine powder to make a rouge sort of shade.
"Since your eyes may be the only thing the prince sees, we need to make them bewitching!" Baris had commented before spraying you down with a lot of perfume.
"That's enough!" You push the bottle away as you coughed at the musky, earthy perfume. "Isnt that for men?" You ask coughing.
Baris's grin only widened. "Its sehzade Mustafa's favourite attar! I had to bribe his chamber servant to tell me this. And you my darling-" He sprayed you again. "-need to smell like him so that he thinks you two are a perfect fit!"
"That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard-" your insult is cut short as your vision is blinded by Baris flipping up your veil to reveal your lower half of the face and him applying some crushed berries juice to your lips.
"Just in case you have a change of morals and want to kiss the prince." He jumped back when you tried to slap him.
Soon, Mustafa came to fetch you. You two were currently walking through the royal gardens, with you giving curt answers so that he would lose interest in you and leave you alone.
Your dismissal didnt go unnoticed by him. "What do you like to do for fun?"
"Read." You answer looking at the well cut hedges. "Have you been to the royal library?" He looks down at you, finding you gazing at the flowers. "Yes. I've already read all of the books there." In college, of course.
"All of them?" His disbelief makes you look at him. Finally. Mustafa thinks.
"Of course." You answer, offended.
"Even the royal ancestry book?" Mustafa raises a brow at you.
"Yes." Your brows furrow. "Ask me anything."
He shakes his head and chuckles. "I doubt you know more about my ancestors than me."
When he looked back at you, you were still looking at him expectantly.
"Ask me."
Mustafa's curiosity got the best of him at your determination.
"This is- this is incredible." Mustafa commented, his eyes wide as he looked at the ancestry book from where he basically quizzed you. He didnt know he was talking to a historian who had pulled all nighters for pretty much every major empire for finals.
"How did you learn all of this?" He asks you, still double checking your answers.
"Oh... I have good memory." You mutter, making him shake his head at you with an amusing smile.
"Of course, I should've figured. You're a hafidha, you're passionate for learning." And passionate for making money in trivias.
Mustafa closes the book. "So, since you've read every book in here, I suppose you must be bored?" He doesnt wait for an answer when an idea pops in his mind. "Come on, lets go."
You follow him, trying to keep up with his fast pace. "Go where?"
"To get you new books." He looks over his shoulder and gives you charming grin.
Your steps falter. New books? "We're leaving the palace?" He hums.
You havent left the palace since you came here, mostly because you havent been able to leave.
You match his pace. "Lets go!" And Mustafa finally sees you excited for the first time today.
With a few Janissaries and some disguise, you all head out into Istanbul. You're looking around the city like a kid in a candy store, only you're looking for a something or someone to help you fix your time machine.
The market comes into view along with the sound of hawkers trying to attract customers. Of course, the only shopkeeper who wasnt yelling was the blacksmith, allowing his hammer to garner the attention of serious clients.
He could be of use. If you're able to find some tools, maybe even get some metal films, you could try to spark a charge and trigger the time machine to work.
You start to take a few steps towards him when Mustafa grabs your shoulder and pulls you back to him. "Where are you going? Stay close to me. I dont want to lose you." He tells you, almost in a chiding tone, but his hands carefully pulling your robes around you said otherwise.
He lead you towards a bookshop. Mustafa nodded at you to go ahead, explore and get any book you want. He'll buy it.
While you were busy browsing, Mustafa couldnt help but steal glances at you. He didnt understand why he was doing this- he couldnt really see your face, or anything except for your eyes.
Your eyes, they were pretty but its not their beauty that really captivates him. Its the swirl of emotions in them. The mystery in them, like there's... more to you. Like you're hiding something.
Perhaps it was your mannerisms. Your dismissive nature, your tendency to not be impressed easily by their eccentricities or status, almost as if you've lived with royalty before.
Maybe he likes how different you treat him him. How you dont bend over backwards to please his family, or try to pursue him or his brothers. In fact, you almost seem to be avoiding them altogether.
You intrigue him. Badly. Amusingly. Adorably.
-
"I dont understand! Where could she have gone?" Mihirmah whined to her brother at lunch. Mehmed only raised a brow. "Who? Y/n? She might be in her room recovering from yesterday's events. She was pretty shaken up-"
"I already checked! She's not there!" Mihirmah sighed before laying her head in his lap, and he began patting her hair. "She went out with Mustafa but she still hasnt returned! Its lunch time and I planned on teaching her sword fight! For self defense, you know- so that she doesnt get beat up like last time."
Mehmed's hand stopped patting. "She's with Mustafa?"
She nodded. "Since morning!"
"Huh." Mihirmah sat up, looking at her brother puzzled.
"What? What is it?" She asked him.
"Nothing." He faked a smile, but Mihirmah knew him like the back of her hand. "Mehmed. Tell me."
"I just... dont understand why Mustafa is spending time with her." He stated, standing up to walk to the balcony. "She's your teacher. What business does Mustafa have with her?"
Mihirmah watched her brother stiffen suddenly, watched the way his jaw ticked as he looked down the balcony. She stood up and joined him, following his gaze to see what he was looking at.
Its you. And Mustafa. Finally returning to the palace, servants holding piles of books following behind you two. What's even more bizarre is to see Mustafa smiling down at you while you giggled, covering your mouth despite the niqaab, making you look even more bashful.
Even Mihirmah hadnt ever seen you so joyful, and yet here you are- laughing so gleefully with her eldest brother. Step brother.
It rubbed her off the wrong way.
"You want her?" She asked him, her voice so hollow that it made Mehmed look at her.
"What?"
Mihirmah looked at him, her eyes stern. "Do. You. Want. Her?"
Unwavering determination. Thats what he saw in his sister's face.
Say the word, and it'll be done.
Mehmed stared at her.
"Yes."
-
"I hope you had a good time." Mustafa asked you as he walked you to your chambers. You nodded. "I did. Thank you, sehzade." Despite your best attempts at dismissing him, Mustafa was very persistent at breaking down your walls. And sure, part of you giggled and pretended to be flustered at his words, you mainly acted cordial so that he may take you out of the palace more often. He was your only way out at the moment.
You both stopped outside your door, the servants walking past you to place your books inside. Mustafa looked satisfied.
"If you ever need to go outside again, feel free to come to me, Y/n." He offered, before taking out a small box from his pocket and handing it to you.
Your heart dropped. A ring? Now? This fast? No no no no no-
You opened the box and you felt life returning back to you. It was a gold broach adorned with rubies and a diamond in the center, encaged in an intricate heart pattern.
"I may not share my father's gift of handcrafting jewels, but I do happen to be skilled at acquiring precious jewels on my conquests." Mustafa informed you as he took the broach from the box and looked at you for permission before pinning it to your hijab, just below your collar bone.
You were too stunned to stop him or even turn down the gift, though Mustafa took your silence as awe.
He adjusted the broach.
"Perfect." He whispered, looking into your eyes.
You watched him leave with a grin, finally able to breathe when he was out of sight.
With a sigh, you enter your chambers, half expecting Baris to be sprawled over your bed waiting to tease you for details on your outing.
What you werent expecting was... her.
"Did you have fun?" The sultana asked, her eyes sharp. "I've been waiting for you, Y/n. Lets have a chat, hm?"
Shit.
-
"You're abnormal." Your hands stop adjusting your hijab as you glare at him through the mirror.
"What?"
Baris tilted his head. "You're abnormal." He repeated.
You turn around from the vanity and glare at him. "Is this another way of calling me ugly?"
"Tch. No, I have words for that." He shook his head. "I meant, you've been acting weird since yesterday, after you returned from your secret outing with sehzade Mustafa."
"You're imagining things." You mumble, turning back to the vanity mirror and picking up the broach Mustafa gave you.
Baris scoffed. "I am not. I may have been busy with the younger royal kids yesterday, but I did manage to catch a glimpse of you giggling and blushing when you returned with the prince." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So that means, the day went good. Something happened on the way to your chambers." He narrowed his eyes at you. "Did you kiss him?"
You whipped your head. "Baris!" He palmed his face. "Sorry, I forgot you're the religious prude. Did he kiss you?"
"No, Baris! No one kissed anyone." You began pinning the broach to your hijab, the same area where Mustafa had placed it yesterday. But you werent able to, too frustrated at the interrogation.
Baris grabbed the broach from you and pinned it in place. "So, you two didnt kiss, bought you enough books to make a you a scholar, and gifted you this broach, and you're disturbed because...?"
You frowned. "I am not disturbed. You're just reading too much into this."
"Fine, dont tell me. I'll find out on my own." You walked past him to teach your Quran lesson.
As much as you'd like to think that you're sly, Baris is right. Something did happen. After you'd returned to your room, you were met there by Mahidevran sultana.
You were reasonably scared because you thought that she's here to torture you or even kill you because you've been "seducing Mustafa" or whatever rumour Baris has spread about you.
But you were surprised when she told you that she wants you and Mustafa together, in marriage. As soon as possible. For the next half hour, Mahidevran basically told you all about the likes and dislikes of her son so that you would accustom yourself to them and then emphasised how supportive she would be of you to be her daughter-in-law. She even encouraged you to... sleep with him, she didnt say it directly but you got the meaning behind her words.
At the end of her lecture, she warned you to not spend time with Hurrem or any of her offsprings, besides Mihirmah because you are her teacher and even then told you to keep your interaction strictly formal and minimum.
When she was about to leave, she spotted the broach on your clavicle and beamed, almost proudly so. When you confirmed that Mustafa gave it to you, and started to take it off to return it to her, she stopped you and told you to wear it everyday. EVERYDAY.
"My son has given you something. You should be honoured. Cherish it." Mahidevran ordered.
The main reason you didnt tell Baris about Mahidevran and her confusing but threatening demands to court Mustafa was because of Baris's blabber mouth that couldnt hold a secret if his life depended on it.
And you have enough on your plate as it is.
You enter Mihirmah's chambers, bowing as you spot her.
"Ah! Welcome! Sit, sit!" Mihirmah pats down the seat next to her and you're slightly suspicious of her energy.
She's upto something.
You sit down beside her, opening the Quran. "I think we should start with-" She closed the book in your hands.
"In a minute. Lets talk first, hm?" She smiled at you. "How was your day off yesterday? Well rested?"
Your shoulders sag slightly. Of course, she wants to know about your day out with Mustafa. Baris probably blabbered something to spark her curiosity like this.
"Yes. A much needed break. Quite refreshing." You tell her, purposely keeping away from the details, lest she gets the wrong idea again and accuses you of whoring around your "ugly self" to her brother.
"Mmhm. Had fun with Mustafa?" Her sharp tone made you look at her.
Is she implying something?
"The prince was kind enough to get me some books." You told her cautiously, trying to ease the tension. "I think you'd like some of them-"
"Mustafa sleeps around." You blinked at her. What were you supposed to do with this unsolicited information.
"Okay...?"
She shrugged, picking up her cup of tea. "I'm just saying- he's been with a lot of women. The other day I was reading a verse from Quran where it mentioned adultery. Then I realised- thats what Mustafa is. An adulterer."
"You read Quran without me making you-"
"Mustafa is an adulterer, Y/n. Allah will not forgive him. He's doomed for hell."
"Actually, if he repents sincerely-"
"He's doomed, Y/n. Doomed." She reiterated.
"By that logic, so are most of your ancestors. I think most men, kings and princes commit adultery-"
"Mehmed doesnt." She stared at you. "He's never slept with anyone. He's a good Muslim man. Allah will be pleased with him."
What is going on here? "Um... okay. That's great news for sehzade Mehmed."
"And for you." Mihirmah announced. "You are the lucky one."
"What?"
She let out a sigh of frustration, as if she has to state the obvious. "Mehmed likes you- no, he loves you-" "Loves me?" "Shh! I'm still talking. You have caught his eye for some reason, so you should end whatever it is that you have with Mustafa and be loyal to my brother."
The room was silent, the two of you staring at each other- you, in confusion. Mihirmah, in determination.
A crow croaked outside.
"First of all, I have nothing going on with sehzade Mustafa. Secondly, Mehmed said he loves me?" You asked while trying not to show resentment.
Mihirmah scoffed. "He doesnt have to say it, I know it."
Your tension deflates to some extent. Okay, so she's just making up stuff. This can be handled.
"Mihirmah, I understand how-" you resist the urge to roll your eyes "-you may think Mehmed may be attracted to me, I am honoured, really. But I can assure you, Mehmed does not love me."
"No, I love you." Your head whips around at the sound of his voice.
Mehmed. He's standing behind you.
"Sehzade-" you begin standing up to bow to him, but he holds up a hand.
"Mihirmah's right. I love you." Mihirmah beamed proudly at standing correct.
Your eyes could only widen in horror as Mehmed sank down to sit right beside you, and with Mihirmah on your other side, you were trapped between the siblings.
"I. Love. You." Mehmed repeated, his hazel eyes staring into yours.
After several moments of silence, a crow croaked again. Mihirmah nudged you to say something.
"Um-" You cleared your throat. "Ugh... thank you."
Mehmed's brows shot up in surprise while Mihirmah broke into a fit of laughter.
"Thank... you?" Mehmed asked, and you would've thought he was mad if it werent for the amused smile on his face.
Mihirmah continued to laugh, and you had to look back at her to make her stop. "I-I'm sorry, Mehmed- this was- this was just too funny. I mean, she has a prince, the next heir of the empire confess her love and all she says is "thank you"?" She said, chuckling as she wiped the tear from her eye.
Mehmed glared at her playfully. "Well, maybe she's just shy around you." Why are they talking about you like you're not right there?
Mihirmah hummed, then nodded. "Perhaps you're right. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. I have to do something-"
"What? Why? You dont have anything to do." You stopped her from standing up. You dont want to be alone with Mehmed.
"I do!" She narrowed her eyes at you.
"Like what?"
"Like-" her eyes zeroed in on your broach. "-pretty. Mustafa gave it?"
"Yes-" you yelped as she grabbed it and pulled it off you, ripping the niqaab it was pinned with along.
"Mihirmah!" Mehmed yelled at her, his eyes stern. You could only stare at her in disbelief before turning away from Mehmed to hide your bare face now.
"Oops! I'm sorry Y/n! I'll go get you a new niqaab- this one is all torn!" She said without an ounce of remorse before leaving the room.
Mehmed shakes his head as he watched her leave, before turning his attention to you- or well, your back.
"Y/n?" He called out to you softly. "I'm sorry for Mihirmah. She... she doesnt mean you any harm. She's just- she sometimes doesnt realise how hurtful her actions can be when she's trying to help someone."
When you didnt reply, Mehmed grew slightly worried. "Y/n?" He sighed when you didnt reply. An idea popped in his head as he looked around the room before looking down.
You heard the sound of cloth ripping, your heart dropping as you assumed the worst. He wasnt going to-
Your head turned around just as Mehmed's hands encircled around your head, a red cloth blocking your view of him.
"Mehmed?" You whispered, scared. His frozen hands seemed to snap out of it and began encircling round your head, the red cloth in his grip brought closer to your face. Thats when your eyes landed on the bottom of his red shirt (kemis). It was ripped.
Mehmed had torn his shirt to make a niqaab for you.
His eyes were focused on tying the makeshift veil, securing it before they landed on you.
"Y/n?" He called your name gently again, his concern growing at the sight of tears pooling in your eyes. He softly sighed as a his hand reached up to wipe a tear that escaped your eye.
"You're that scared of me?" After a few moments, you sniffled as more tears escaped your eyes and you shook your head. "Then?" When you didnt reply, or couldnt as you continued to cry mutely, he took it as a sign that you were humiliated because of Mihirmah removing your veil.
He took a deep breath and cupped your face gingerly before pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
"My mind is occupied by you. I think about you all the time. Perhaps...I only think about you, moon." He wiped another tear with his thumb. "I love you, my moon. I fear I... I love you too much. My heart holds so much love for you, I can hardly call it my own anymore." He then kissed your teary eyes one by one.
"I know you... you dont love me yet, but one day, when you find yourself being generous, I want you to be the one holding my heart in your hands. Its yours, moon. Yours."
-
Baris waited with a few guards and servants outside Mihirmah's room, when Mehmed left the room with a satisfied smiled on his face. Baris noted the bottom of his torn shirt but before he could comment on it, Mehmed asked him where Mihirmah was.
"She went to see sehzade Mustafa. Shall I fetch her?" Mehmed waved him off, saying he'll go get her himself, after all- Mihirmah still had to finish her lesson with you.
Mehmed had just turned around the corner when you came out of the room.
"Y/n-" Baris called out to you but you sped past him, and he didnt chase after you when he saw your red eyes.
He'll tease you later, when you're not so sad. For now, he has to report the sight of this to someone.
-
Even if Mihirmah hadnt bumped into Mustafa and proudly showed off the broach he'd gifted you, the news would've still somehow made its way to him by the servants whispers.
"Oh this broach? Its pretty, isnt it?" Mihirmah smirked, showing it off to Mustafa. "Y/n gave it to me."
"She... gave it to you?" His gift. You gave it away?
She nodded. "Mmhm. She said it wasnt that precious to her, so she gave it. She was going to throw it away, but it went well with my dress so I took it."
You were going to discard his gift? Just like that?
"Mihirmah. There you are." Mehmed walked over to her. "Mustafa." He greeted his brother.
"Mehmed." He looked at his shirt. "What happened to your shirt?"
Mehmed grinned. "Nothing." He then looked at Mihirmah. "Come on, Y/n is waiting for you. I talked to her."
Mustafa could only watch the two siblings beam at each other as the taste in his mouth soured.
His broach. Torn shirt. Mehmed "talked" to you.
Mahidevran could feel her blood boil at the complaints Mustafa brought to her. Even if he didnt, the maids she'd hired to spy on you had already reported of everything they'd witnessed. You and Mehmed alone in Mihirmah's room.
Did you not understand a single word she said? Does she need to give you a more stern warning this time?
"Hurrem must've put them upto this." She muttered, before her gaze flickered to her worried son. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dont worry, Mustafa. I will fix this. You focus on Y/n, hm? You deserve her, my lion."
So? How was it?
TW: yandere, noncon/dubcon, angst, unwanted pregnancy, blackmail, ish-baby trapping
PART ONE only avaliable on AO3 due to Tumblr restrictions
fem reader
You went cold and forgot how to breathe.
When you got to the kindergarten, they told you his father had already come and collected him early. All looking at you as though you were crazy, assaulting the daycare workers with your hands in a bruising grip, shaking her by her shoulders—demanding she tell you where he took him.
She spilled the name of some family restaurant down the road and said he’d wanted you to join them there. The poor thing was on the verge of tears when you let go.
Rushing out, you all but ran down the streets before pushing yourself through the doors—cold-sweating and swivel-eyed—in a panic, scanning faces with his name coming out weak under your breath.
With your vision spinning, you felt faint before you heard it.
“Mommy! Mommy! You’re here! Look! I’m King of the castle!” he shouted, and your peeled eyes snapped to see him up high in a bright red plastic tower.
But before your shoes could hit the soft foam of the playground, you were intercepted by something larger.
“He’s fine,” he said under his breath, catching and stopping you in your beeline, holding you by the waist. “I need to talk to you.”
Something old and instinctive didn’t bother paying him heed—as if forgetting how to speak, you just ignored him in favor of pushing past him, eyes glued to the sight of your son blissfully unaware, playing with other kids with an oblivious smile on his face. But his grip was stronger than your instincts, firm enough to keep you still but not enough to hurt you, even when you tried twisting yourself free.
“Come on,” he urged.
You were about to sneer something, finally looking at his face—that face you hated—but the bark of curse words got held back.
“Look around you. Let’s not cause a scene.” The wild animal within went silent while your eyes flickered around at the surrounding picnic tables where families were having their dinner. “We can talk outside. My assistant will look after him.”
You didn’t feel much inclined to listen, but still, even though it made you hate to fold on his behest—reluctantly, you accepted the sense of what he was saying. Looking back at your son still laughing up in his tower with cinched brows. You didn’t want to scare him when he didn’t know what was going on, even though you felt the need to scream at the very top of your lungs.
You allowed him to lead you outside, but as soon as the fresh air welcomed your rigid state, you were at once whipping around and pushing him away. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” snarling at him. “How fucking dare you?!”
“Calm down. He might still see us,” he hushed, hands raised in halfhearted surrender, casting a nod to the glass walls separating you from the frivolity inside. “Let’s just talk rationally.”
“Rationally?!” you scoffed in a shout, eyes still manic. “You fucking kidnapped my son, you psycho-”
“You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls,” he snubbed. “He’s my son too-”
“Fuck you,” you interrupted to return the favor. “If you fuck with me on this, I swear I’ll ruin you.” You had a finger raised at him, breathing furiously—looking down-right mad—sweaty and disheveled from your run with your face twisted with such a state of frenzy. “I’ll tell everyone how I got him in the first place!”
Despite the threat, he didn’t seem all that fazed.
“Think about it…” he said calmly, much in contrast to you. “Who do you think people will believe? A teenage mom abusing her son for a paycheck or his estranged father wanting to provide for him?”
You blanched, and before anything else made it out—whether it be more rage or something else, he was already further silencing you.
“Not to mention… the trial would be gruesome, and Junior would have to grow up with it always hanging over his head—is that really what you want?”
You look at him, and you still can't believe it. How could it have turned out like this? You’d been perfect only a month ago before he’d shown up at your apartment.
You thought you’d sent him on his way for good that day, but only now did you realize he had no plans to leave you alone.
“Come, let’s talk in the car. It’s cold, and you’re not dressed,” he ushered, taking your arm again where you stood, stunned and still, trying to wrap your head around his threats. Letting yourself be led into the black vehicle standing perfectly parked in its neat white rectangle.
You both got in the back with enough room to battle your homey sofa nook at home.
“I don’t want this to get ugly,” he started anew—his voice still so irritatingly calm, unfairly so. “I just want to see my son-”
“He’s not yours,” you croaked, feeling the situation slip from your fingers—battling a drumming heart, shifty breaths, and the mean sting of tears welling up in your eyes.
“If you try and keep him from me, I’ll sue for full custody. And given I’m the only one out of us who isn’t a pro-bono case and the only one with any future that isn’t managing a register, I’d say I have a pretty fair shot at winning.”
You can’t keep from bursting out crying then, overwhelmed by the fear of losing the only thing that mattered and the pure disgust of the man who’d given it to you. It felt like everything was tearing—your whole life—crumbling before your eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he soothed, his hand coming to drape your hunched shoulders where you held your tears. “I don’t want to take him away from you…” His attempt did little to comfort you, but the next words had your heart grasping for what little hope they offered. “And I’m not going to either.”
You looked at him through the hurt of swollen eyes, tears still falling while he wiped them away with the course pad of his thumb—rubbing your cheek affectionately. In any other circumstance, you’d surely slap him, but right now, all you could do was listen.
“I’m buying a house,” he revealed, still holding your cheek and gaze. “Fit for a family. Safe neighborhood, good school district, giant backyard.” The list went over your head—it was all too surreal to register. You couldn’t even fathom what he was getting at until, “I want the two of you to come live there with me.”
Stunned, you remained completely silent until the tears dried, and he let go of your face.
“You don’t have to say anything right now.” He reaches across you and fetches the seatbelt before coming back over you to click it in place. “I’ll go get Junior and drive you home. Just stay here.”
You do as suggested and stay seated as he pops his door open and leaves—feeling all but cemented in place as your thoughts go tumbling around and around as if caught in a rip curl. When Junior jumps in beside you, a farfetched smile is all you can offer. Thankfully, he’s so enamored by a toy he’d gotten to notice much of your state.
When your door opens again, you’re led out and onto your neighborhood street. The fresh air does little to clear your mind. Feeling all but feverish as you hold Junior's small hand in yours while the man of your nightmares smiles all too fondly at the two of you.
“I’ll come pick you up after your shift on Monday.,” he says decidedly—cheerfully as he ruffles Junior’s hair enough to make him giggle. “Bring the rascal with you, and he can pick his room first.”
You weren’t planning on staying. You were never planning on staying—certain you would leave the second the opportunity to skip town arose—you just need to scramble the money together first.
But the house was huge… nothing you could ever dream of, and while it made you desperate with grief, you couldn’t deny it either… Junior really loved having a dad.
It nearly brought sick to your throat to call him that. It was a shot through the heart every time you heard Junior’s boyish call, squealing with giggles, saying “Daddy, daddy, daddy-”
None of it seemed right to you. Seeing his bright smile, now at the age where a new tooth fell out every other week—looking so goofy as he proudly shows the two of you the new one he’d just knocked out playing soccer at school. “Mommy, Daddy, look!”
What’s worse is that you can't even deny how good the man you hate is at it all—spoiling him with gifts and making him laugh—giving piggyback ride after air-plane flight after tickle-fight and a game of tag and hide’n’seek.
And it’s not just the easy stuff. He’s good at the shit that used to make you go crazy—putting him to bed, getting him dressed, making him eat the right stuff, and not just scuffle down candy. It’s as if the two of them have developed a secret language you’re not a part of. If Junior weren’t a toddler, you’d even suspect he’d been bribed and told to do his best to make you lose your mind. But no, it’s just reality.
The man you live with drives and picks your son up from school as if he’d done it since he was born, goes with you to meet the teacher if and when he gets into trouble and helps the two of you pick out the right shoes—shoes that you can now afford, thanks to him.
“I thought I might sleep in the master bedroom tonight.” He says, leaning against the frame in the doorway.
You’d been living there a month now. He’d been generous enough to sleep in the guest room up until now.
You don’t know how to deny him. It feels as if anything you might say would just be ignored or threatened until you eventually took it back. You didn’t want him in your bed—you didn’t want him in the same house—in fact, preferably, you’d want him to be six feet deep in the dirt.
You end up not answering. But he’s used to that by now.
“I get it…” he says, taking steps into the room you’d wrongfully thought was your safe space. “You don’t trust me.” He sits down at the edge of the bed and reaches out across the sheets. You’re too late to pull your feet to yourself before he has one in his hand. He doesn’t do much but stroke it. “But you can.”
The sincerity in his eyes makes you want to gouge them out. It’s all been some cruel joke ever since you moved in—all the pleasantries and presents, as if trying to distract you from the past. Your wardrobe is chockfull of it, and so is Junior’s room—filled to the brim with lies.
“I’m never gon’ hurt you.” Another lie. “I did you wrong once, and I’ll spend the rest of my life makin’ up for it.”
You want to shake your head, laugh in his face—anything to reject it. But you’re terrified of what he might do if you didn’t play along. The threat of losing Junior is enough to make you cooperative.
“I know I’ve not been fair—pushin’ you into all of this so fast.” He gets down on his knees on the floor as if praying, right down beside you. “I took advantage of a vulnerable situation ‘cause I’m an impatient asshole—but I promise you—” He takes your hand in both of his. “If you give me the chance, I’m gon’ make our lives together like somethin’ outa’ a fuckin’ fairytale—all that happily ever after shit and more, just like you always wanted.”
The kiss he presses upon your knuckles beckons goosebumps to rise all across you. All his words feel like a bad script read by an even worse actor—in fact, this whole thing feels like a prank. And still, it doesn’t surprise you—he’s been laughing at you ever since you were children.
And now, laughing still, only with a fucking ringbox in his hand.
“I want Junior to see us as a united front. I don’t want him askin’ question why we ain’t sleepin’ in the same bed, why we fight behind locked doors, why you cry in the bathroom.”
He pops the black velvet lid and reveals something so outrages it almost looks tacky lying there in a plush bed of red silk.
“I want us to be happy.” He picks the little thing out and holds it up between his thumb and index, still holding your hand in the other. “I want us to be real.” You can almost see your life flash before your eyes as it threatens your ring finger. “Let’s make us real.”
You don’t say anything as he eases the tiny hoop on, sliding it all the way back until it sits snugly right at your knuckle—dazzling in the dark. A tiny tear slips down your cheek—equally dazzling.
He played some with the digit—a smile on his face.
“Looks good on you, Mrs.” As he calls you by his last name you almost shake the ring off as if it burned to wear, but it all gets lost when he rushes forward and locks his lips with yours.
You yelp against his mouth, kept from turning away by the large hand holding your jaw, threatening to seize your throat and squeeze. You remember how it had felt. You don’t want more of a reminder, so you intercept his tongue with yours before he forced it down your throat.
He groans at the warm welcome, and your entire body shudders in memory.
You hadn’t let anyone touch you since that time five years ago. It had left a poor taste in your mouth, and the hunger for it had never come back.
You choke it down now as he climbs on top.
BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji
♡ (FEMxM) INSERT masterlist ♡ (GNxM) INSERT masterlist
Yan Gojo Satoru x F Reader.
Warnings: Gojo Satoru, yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, weird roundabout guilt tripping and emotional manipulation. Word count: 5.5k.
It’s a shame the sun sets in the west.
The celestial body is indifferent to your plight, its energy refined and unrelenting. Its golden beams chase after the dark fabric of your uniform as if sucked in by a black hole. You’ve done what you can to withstand the heat's attack — tying your hair up, opening rickety windows, downing enough water to last a lifetime — but sweat still stubbornly glistens along your temple.
Worse than the sun and its heat, however, is the other heavenly body present in this stuffy room. An individual with abilities so far beyond your comprehension, he’s earned the privilege and burden of calling himself the strongest. Those two words are the closest anyone could come to accurately describing the immeasurable scope of his strength. What does the most honored one do in this four-dimensional playground the rest of you carbon-spaced species have to occupy? How does someone who can see infinite realities burn his free time?
Does he tilt the Earth off its axis for curiosity’s sake? Create a vacuum that swallows the atmosphere’s nitrogen, oxygen, and argon? Beckon the moon closer to turn the ocean’s reign of 71% to 100%?
No, Gojo Satoru does none of these things because he’s busy. Busy lazing around on a desk you just cleaned (and will have to clean again, the dirt wedged into his soles taunt), sucking obnoxiously loud on a sweet treat.
You point your broom handle at him.
“Hey, you.”
Gojo plops the cherry-flavored lollipop from his mouth and points to himself, faking incredulity. “Me?”
“Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘many hands make light work?’”
“I have now, sensei.”
Content, he resumes savoring his lollipop. You ignore his jab at the occupation you don’t hold yet, but have both set your sights on.
“Do you find anything about it convicting? Doesn’t it make you want to, y’know, pitch in?”
“Nope,” he replies, popping the ‘p.’ The single-file lines of kindergarteners whose bright yellow hats remind you of ducklings dutifully following their mother have better manners. By a lot.
You roll your eyes. It wasn’t like you were expecting anything from him, but you thought he’d be more creative with his excuse. You’d just barely begun cleaning this classroom when Gojo invited himself in as a (not) silent spectator. If you ever wanted to get out of here and enjoy your Friday evening, you knew ignoring him would be the best option. The only option. That strategy is easier said than done. Ignoring someone like him is like defying gravity. You think you can after the leap is made, but with every tumble back down to the ground, you’re reminded not everyone gets to ignore the laws of physics.
Gojo shifts until he’s sitting criss-cross. “Why are you doing this, anyway? Isn’t Shoko s’posed to have cleaning duty?”
He has some audacity sounding exasperated, as if you’ve chained him down until your task is finished. The supposed prison doors are wide open. He could waltz out at any point, unimpeded. Instead of doing something that makes sense, he’s chosen to needle you for attention. It wouldn’t be a first. At least he isn’t levitating the cleaning supplies like last time…
Regardless, you’ll miss the chaos that always nips at Gojo’s heels. A pang tugs at your heart. You snip the ligature in two.
“She asked to switch out as a favor.”
“A favor, huh?” Gojo hums, tasting your words as much as the artificial cherry on his extra red tongue. “I keep telling you, one of these days, someone’s gonna come along and take advantage of you. You’re too nice.”
“Hah. Only you could turn a compliment into an insult.”
“And only you could turn an insult into a compliment,” he replies, grinning. You return his dumb smile, which feeds his. “Seriously, though. I sometimes wonder if your blood is made of sugar, because—”
“—You’re way too sweet.”
“—You’re way too sweet.”
Your voices overlap in a dissonant harmony, your tone far flatter than his.
There’s a beat of silence.
And then you both burst into fits of laughter. Gojo appears sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck until your laughter dies down. It’s an unusual look for him. A healthy dose of humility would do him some good. What a shame his immune system will defeat this foreign invader before his system can absorb it.
“That obvious?”
“That obvious,” you reaffirm, still wearing the smile he gave you.
“How reassuring. If you can mimic my thought process, you can’t be sugar, spice, and everything nice.”
You lean your weight on the broom that’s lost its traditional purpose. “What could you possibly need reassurance about?”
Rather than responding verbally, Gojo keeps his attention on you, dipping his head just enough for his sunglasses to slide down his nose. You tug your mask off and set it aside. You were almost finished cleaning and this conversation is proving more interesting, anyway.
Gojo dips his head slightly. His circular sunglasses slide down his nose, revealing the two celestial bodies that inhabit his eye sockets. His long eyelashes flutter with every blink, reminiscent of winter’s first snowfall. As always, his silence is difficult to understand when you’re so used to never hearing it. He accounts for this by giving you extra time to think about what he’s communicating. How considerate.
Does that mean…?
You. He’s looking at you.
Frowning comes easily.
“Is this your way of saying I’m an incapable sorcerer?”
Fourteen-year-old Gojo would’ve said yes before you finished the question. Seventeen-year-old Gojo might if you catch him on a bad day, but those never seem to happen when he has you to be around.
“You’re at the level you should be.”
This is the closest thing you can receive to a compliment from the almighty Gojo Satoru, although ‘compliment’ tests the dictionary definition.
‘Slightly-above-average-acknowledgment’ fits better. To most, a third-year such as yourself obtaining the rank of Grade Two is highly commendable. Most finish their time at Tokyo Jujutsu High at Grade Three if they’re still alive. But, compared to Gojo (everyone compares themselves to him, no matter what they claim), you might as well be sitting at the kiddie table. The four dimensions you can’t go beyond, the same four dimensions that serve as his starting gun.
You can’t bother feeling offended. You’re not fourteen anymore yourself.
“What did you mean, then?” You ask, your tone holding no acidity.
“Exactly what I said — that someone’s going to come along and take advantage of you,” Gojo fixes his sunglasses back into place. You no longer see his eyes but you feel them. “You’ve never been good at spotting a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Or a wolf in wolf’s clothing, for that matter.”
“Wh— that addendum doesn’t even make sense!”
“It is for those capable of abstract thought.”
The deadpan delivery of such a pompous line, even by his standards, earns more laughter. He grins at the delight he’s caused, the apples of his cheeks prominent.
“Okay, okay, let me run this through my Gojo translator. Is this your weird, borderline rude way of expressing concern for me?”
“Only borderline? Oh no, I must be losing my touch,” he gasps, his hand flying to his chest. “Let’s kick the rudeness up a notch. Alright, you’re—”
You wildly wave your hands. “Cut, cut! We can leave it at the abridged version!”
He bites down on his lollipop. His patience to savor its taste must’ve dried up. You listen to his molars crunch his treat into pieces, which he soon swallows. You don’t doubt there’ll be plenty more where that came from. His rosy lips become rosier when his tongue runs over them.
“See what I mean? That should’ve been your cue to lay into me.”
He’d need to do far worse than that if provoking such a reaction is his wish.
“One, if I laid into you every time you said something tactless, I’d die from asphyxiation. And two, you’re not making a fair comparison. Of course I have more grace for you than some rando.”
Gojo looks like a man who’d just won the lottery. “Oh? Why’s that? I’m just that special to you, an exception has to be made?”
“There could be research studies conducted on your ego,” you murmur, shaking your head. You know he’s acting, but he could be a little less convincing. “I’m this way for all my friends, which you managed to weasel your way into being. Of course this extends to you.”
He clutches at his chest and sputters as if he’d gotten shot. “Just… a f-friend…?”
To give his acting further credence, he stumbles back. The momentum pushes him off the desk’s edge. Your eyes widen as his body falls back. The broom topples to the floor as you lurch forward, wanting to break his fall. When you get to where he should be, there’s no sign of him. Not even a stray hair. Blinking, you’re about to call out for him when a presence manifests behind you. One that could bend the Earth, inhale its air, and conquer its moon.
You pivot out of instinct and launch a high kick at the unknown force.
Your attack doesn’t land, it suspends midair. In the second it takes for you to comprehend what just happened, the ‘unknown force’ throws his head back and guffaws. You lower your leg from infinity’s repulsion. Huffing, you cross your arms over your chest and glare up at him. While he laughs at your expense, you consider the impenetrable barrier that protects him from any unwanted contact.
For some reason, you once asked Shoko what would’ve happened if Gojo wasn’t on your side.
“We’d all be dead,” was her nonchalant answer. “It wouldn’t even be a fight.”
You didn’t shiver then and you don’t shiver now. That what-if is useless, an inert product of the three pounds of gray matter in between your ears. Speculation lives so it can die. You’ve buried this one and see no reason for its exhumation.
Gojo stuffs his hands into his pocket and bends down to your level.
“Uh oh, that look means I’m in trouble,” Gojo says, not sounding bothered by the prospect in the slightest. “What’re you thinking? Dinner on me? We should hit Nakamise-dori before the 9-5 crowd lets out.”
Tempting as that prospect is, you must stay strong. He messed with you, so you’ll mess with him. It’s for balance and all that. This definitely isn’t born from pettiness, no, you’re not fourteen! You’re seventeen. Which might be worse, because you’re running out of years to use your age as an excuse. Or did you run out already…?
“And what if I said I wasn’t thinking about you? You’re not the center of the universe, y’know.”
“I kinda am, though.”
(He’s got a point. He kinda is).
“Right, right. Well, I’m sure the universe’s center would prefer to eat alone, rather than with this insignificant pebble.”
You’re plenty capable of carrying out your own melodramatics. This classroom has served as his amphitheater long enough, he deserves to be the chorus now. You go to and fro, collecting cleaning implements and putting them in their proper place. The window cleaner suspiciously evades your grasp until you shoot Gojo a non-threatening glare. He snickers and releases his infinity. Finally finished, you head out of the classroom, not sparing him a glance as you brush his shoulder. Interestingly, this contact is allowed. His innate technique relaxes just long enough for your own theatrics to play out.
Gojo wastes no time in chasing after you. His long legs close the paltry distance with little effort.
He pokes your cheek. “C’mon, at least give yourself some credit! You’re more than an itty bitty pebble.”
You make the mistake of turning to face him. His boyish grin immediately gives him away.
You mistake the poison ivy in his hands for an olive branch. His boyish grin gives the secret away, but it’s too late, he’s already all your eyes can register.
“A rock would be more fitting.”
He looks far too proud of that line. You’d rate it a 6/10 at the most.
You hasten your pace, navigating the school’s engawa with practiced ease. Gojo falls into step almost immediately, his persistence infinite. He whines your name, prolonging the last syllable. He must recognize that you’re heading back to the dorms.
It’d be impossible to count all the times you’ve walked this specific path over the past four years. Not everyone who once accompanied you is still here to do so. The fleeting thought brings the scent of antiseptic, the hum of air conditioners, the cold chill rivaled only by the dead bodies it held.
After graduation, you’ll leave many things behind. The morgue won’t be one of them. Not in this line of work.
You remember the confusion you felt upon learning two of your underclassmen were sent on a mission, only for one to return. Once the initial shock wore off, you rushed to where the body was kept. You couldn’t protect Haibara, but you could still console Nanami. In the end, this proved to be too great a self-imposed burden. Nanami’s composure eclipsed yours.
(Sterile lights overhead flickered, reflected on an edifice of cold lockers.
“Nanamin,” you croaked, your voice hoarse. You pointed toward the silvery storage. Rows upon rows, mostly empty, for now. “Why are there so many?”
It was quiet, save for the cooling system’s thrum. You wondered if he hadn’t heard you. Began to hope that was the case, once you recalled you were supposed to be here for him, not the other way around.
Eventually, he spoke your last name.
“I respectfully disagree,” he said. “Truthfully… it might not be enough.”)
Sweat and tears were shed on this campus. If you put them on a scale, which side would outweigh the other?
You shake your head like that’d erase these thoughts.
It won’t be much longer. Morgues won’t leave your life, but this particular one can.
Gojo whistles a song that’s been topping the Oricon Singles Chart recently. You’re grateful for the distraction his questionable rendition brings. It pulls you out of your stormy thoughts, and reminds you that the sun will set and rise another day.
“Are you really abandoning me on a nice evening like this?” He probes, as if he’d ever let you. He isn’t above throwing objects at your window to lure you out. You could be meditating, studying, or listening to music through the cheap pair of headphones you bought from the convenience store on your iPod; he wouldn’t let up.
Shoko once offered you 2,000 yen to stop ignoring him after a miserable wasabi and toothpaste switcheroo prank. Utahime upped the bid to 3,000 yen on the side of prolonging his torment. Gojo overheard the bidding through a cracked window. He promised 20,000 yen on top of Shoko’s proposal.
In the end, you came out without taking anyone’s money. Watching Pride and Prejudice during your weekly movie night was his punishment.
(“This might actually be what does me in,” Gojo complained. “Not all the assassination attempts, or that Zenin reject. Wear something skimpy to my funeral or I’ll haunt you.”
You whisper-yell, “This is important to the plot!”
He obeyed for three minutes before pestering you again.
“This the type of guy you go for?” He asked, jutting his thumb toward Mr. Darcy on the screen. “Rich and emotionally stunted? Cause if so, have I got some good news for—”
You pressed your pointer finger to his lips. For someone who loves blabbering on, he looks terribly pleased about you shushing him. He must’ve relaxed his infinity to give you the chance.
“What I like about him most is how taciturn he is.”
This quieted Gojo for five minutes before his pestering began anew.)
“I want to at least get changed,” you explain.
“Oh, you’re getting all dressed up, just for me?”
“Pfft, no way. I just feel sweaty and gross from cleaning in that inferno,” you roll your shoulder, lamenting at the aches it’ll bring tomorrow. “I’m gonna miss that one yakisoba stand when I’m home. I’ve got to freeload yummy meals off you while I still can.”
“Say ‘pretty please, Toru,’ when you’re back and you’re more than welcome to keep freeloading, stingy woman.”
You laugh at the high-pitched inflection he uses to imitate your voice. You’ll miss this, you’ll really miss this. You’ll miss Gojo. You’ll miss painting Utahime’s nails while she vents about him. You’ll miss Shoko chastising you for not eating breakfast and you chastising her for not eating dinner. You’ll miss naming Suguru’s collection of curses after Pokémon. You’ll miss offering to tutor Nanami in subjects he’s better than you at just to see his reaction.
In the end, even all of that can’t compare to how much you’ve missed home.
“Absolutely not. My parents are planning to visit when I do, I can’t risk having you embarrass me in front of them.”
It is said that when Gojo Satoru was born, the balance of the world shifted.
You’ve never been fully able to conceptualize what that means — how it’d feel for the universe to hold its breath in anticipation over a birth.
This current in the air, the inexplicable thundering of your heart, and churning of your stomach…
… Was that moment anything like this?
You no longer hear Gojo’s footsteps on the wooden floorboards. You turn around, noting how he’s firmly planted himself in place. The glint of his sunglasses prevents you from seeing his eyes. You give him a few moments before breaking the unusual silence.
“Toru? What’s wrong?”
“Just a moment ago…” he trails off, evidently deep in thought, “You said ‘visit.’”
“I did.”
“Didn’t you tell me way back you want to become a teacher?”
The ebb and flow of his cursed energy is odd. You’re used to its enviable composure, never fluctuating beyond its baseline. He effortlessly maintains it better than those who have dedicated their entire lives to the art. This abnormality lasts about a millisecond before smoothing itself over. Any fluctuation from an unfathomable generator of cursed energy like Gojo can’t go undetected. It’s like a soft wind picking up to 200 mph.
Your current stance is one you’d take upon coming face to face with a curse above your capabilities, a subconscious call from your body. If Gojo notices, he doesn’t point it out. You relax your muscles.
“I do. Back in my country, we don’t have any formal educational institutions for jujutsu like there are here. Forming an organized response to curses and other threats is real messy. I want to apply what I learned here back home.”
Gojo… he never asked for specifics on your plans after graduation. This realization injects guilt into your veins. You just thought he knew. You mentioned it to your classmates who asked. Gojo never asked. He just assumed, the same way you had.
Internally panicking, you continue, “I’ll visit, too. A-And we can stay in touch. We have our phones, emails… we won’t fall out of contact. I promise.”
It’s as if you’ve been thrust into a trial with a life sentence on the line.
A gentle breeze passes through, rustling the canopy overhead. Flecks of austere and amber peek through the branch’s interstices. They dance like a flame’s dying embers. Gojo is silent. There’ve been very few instances you’ve seen him this way. Uncertain, hollow. The latest is after the failed assimilation of the Star Plasma Vessel, Riko Amanai, almost a year prior.
“Toru, I’m so sorry, I thought— I thought you knew,” you murmur, taking a step forward. “Let’s—”
“Would you reconsider?” Gojo interrupts. He hasn’t done that to you since you first met.
You wet your lips. “I mean… this has been my intention all along. I want to protect where my family lives, train other sorcerers up… I can’t just let that go.”
The hairs on the back of your neck stand. You can feel it, the scrutiny of his Six Eyes. How he’s picking you apart on a molecular level. The dilation of your pupils, how electrical signals encourage your heart to pump faster, and the subsequent increase of blood flow throughout your cardiovascular system.
Anxiety wraps its thorny appendages around your person. You should’ve made it clearer, made sure there wasn’t any room for interpretation.
“The higher-ups are finicky about anything far from their purview. They won’t approve of you teaching.”
His words come out as cool as the ice his eyes resemble. They are calculated, unfeeling, slicing straight to the bone. Frostbite’s a horrible death, since you feel parts of yourself die before you’re granted the same privilege.
“I’d follow any regulations they want. It doesn’t even need to be a huge thing, I’d be okay with just pointing potential sorcerers here. There couldn’t be anything wrong with that.”
You’re trying to grasp his angle here. It’s one thing to voice his concerns, but he’s erring on belittling you. You won’t accept that. Not when it comes to this, the raison d'être that pushed you to overcome impossible odds. Boarding a flight with a one-way ticket to Tokyo by yourself at fourteen, standing in your classmate’s shadow, fighting tooth and nail for your grade.
You get him being hurt by this revelation, but is that all this is? There’s an unidentifiable variable here.
Still, you want to keep things civil. This is Gojo, one of your closest friends. Someone who actively laughs in the face of authority, uses your head as an armrest and spams your phone at three in the morning because he’s bored. There’s nothing to feel threatened by here.
Gojo gazes down at you through his eyelashes. “What if a special grade shows up under your watch? You gonna run at it and get yourself killed?”
The kindling inside you threatens to combust from the oil he just poured. You subdue it as best as you can.
This is Gojo, this is Gojo, this is Gojo…
“I’d follow proper procedure and report it back here,” you reply, trying to match his aloof tone. Yours isn’t as nearly as convincing, since unlike him, you’re acting.
He closes the remaining distance, standing tall and imposing before you.
“And in the meantime? You’ll just sit pretty, twiddle your thumbs, wait for help to arrive?”
Stab, stab, stab.
Each word expands a wound that can’t be sutured shut.
“Gojo, what’s gotten into you? Is it that difficult to respect my decision?”
“If it’s a stupid decision, then yeah. Hard to respect that.”
Your heart plummets. So does your view of him.
Stunned into silence, you fail to notice how close he’s gotten. You take a step back. He takes a step forward. The process repeats itself until your back hits the shoji behind you, halting your retreat. You could very easily rip through it and run further, yet, what good would it do? What would it solve?
In the distance, you hear the distinct thump of a shishi-odoshi.
Gojo sighs. It’s a heavy sound, unbefitting of someone his age. The following silence is just as heavy. You can’t tell if it’s a stream you hear rushing in the distance or if it’s your blood. He removes his sunglasses, folds them, and tucks them away. His eyes are beautiful. They are the cosmos, infinite and chaotic. More than that, they’re elusive. Infinity means you can’t determine the start and end. The beginning and end are concepts concocted by humanity, in its hubris to place parameters on an unknowable universe. Parameters are nice. You can work with parameters.
Consider the sun. It’d take 1.3 million Earths to fill the star closest to you. That’s a high number, seven digits, but a million can be understood. The Earth is a touchstone in that way. The universe doesn’t stop at your solar system, though. It goes and goes, stretches and stretches. Gojo Satoru’s familiar with that stretch, you are not.
How many of you would it take to match his strength? 1.3 million? What can possibly serve as a touchstone?
How do you measure the immeasurable?
“We’d be dead,” you remember a voice saying. “It wouldn’t even be a fight.”
You shiver.
Gojo bends down to your level, but not quite. He cages you in — one arm stretches out and settles on the shoji’s thin sheet beside your head. Thanks to his infinity, he can ‘lean’ against the frail partition without ripping into it. Intrinsically, he knows the limits of things. How much he can push and pull before they collapse.
He knows your limits too. He knows them very well.
Or maybe he doesn’t, because he parts his lips to speak again.
“How you fear and love look so alike,” he says, plainly, like it’s a normal observation. “I can see it. The surge of neurotransmitters and hormones, everything is illuminated. On display for me to interpret. For example, when I do this…”
His large hands wrap around your neck. He applies the slightest pressure, enough for you to register it, enough for your breath to catch in your throat. His pupils dilate from the show your body’s various systems give him.
“Your sympathetic nervous system just glows. You must feel it. The heightened respiration, heart rate, that primal instinct to flee, fight, or freeze. Y’know when your flight’s about to land at night? How the city lights look as you descend? It’s similar.”
Gojo’s breathing picks up. At least he can breathe. You still can’t bring yourself to.
“Then, if I do this,” he murmurs, his hands cupping your face and eyelids low, “Your hormones go crazy. Everything lights up.”
His lips brush against yours as he speaks.
“So crazy, in fact, I can’t tell which of the two you feel more right now.”
He kisses you.
It’s sweet in flavor alone — you get a taste of the artificial cherry he enjoyed earlier. Apparently, he enjoys you more, because he takes the time to savor your taste, instead of crunching you down to your basic elements. The shock, confusion, revulsion, fury, and hurt, so much hurt, pierces through you like a gunshot. You swaddle yourself in cursed energy. Unleash it, let it scald him like liquid flame.
His burns hotter. Like the sun, like the largest known star. His cursed energy, his strength, it doesn’t eclipse yours, it transcends. Forget 1.3 million. That number is a joke. A gnat he could swat aside.
You splay your fingers against his chest and push. He detaches himself from you, not putting up the slightest resistance.
The way he looks at you is animalistic. Unquantifiable. You start to think you might understand him, only for a new facet to reveal itself, as crucial as what came before and what will come after. Lust. Yearning. Pleading. Demanding. And hurt, its tint overlays every new dimension. Hurt that you made him care. Hurt that you want to leave. Hurt at how he plans to make you stay.
Gojo Satoru didn’t ask for your plans after graduation because he didn’t want to ask. You didn’t tell him your plans for after you graduate because you didn’t want to tell him.
This is Gojo, this isn’t Gojo, this was always Gojo…
Where there’s infinity there’s paradox.
“If you felt this way about me…”
You make a point of saying ‘this way’ instead of ‘love,’ because love is only supposed to hurt up to a point. That’s what you believe. No one would willingly endure it otherwise.
“...Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
“... Why didn’t I say so sooner, right?”
Your voices overlap, although Gojo deviates slightly from the script.
He runs his hand through his tousled hair and laughs. It sounds forced.
“Didn’t I, though?” He asks, his grin crooked. “Who do I spend every waking moment beside? Watch movies with, no matter how shitty? Hey, no need to answer this pop quiz, I already gave you all the answers.”
His long and lithe finger presses against your trembling lips, shushing your protest.
“Maybe it isn’t fear and love so much as a fear of loving me.”
This speculation makes you wince.
“I get that, baby, I do. I have a bad personality. One of the worst, really. And you? There are some bad elements. Like your penchant for wanting to be loved, so long as it’s quiet and unobtrusive. You’re a naughty girl in your own right. But, bad elements aren’t the whole of you. That pesky niceness overrules everything else. Hence my earlier conundrum.”
Ah, yes, the wolf in wolf’s clothing. He couldn’t have made it any more obvious if he tried. Maybe this is your appeal to him. You give the benefit of the doubt at the cost of yourself. He’ll happily accept every ounce you empty from your coffers, because he knows if he doesn’t lap up your self-destruction, somebody else will. His ego can’t accept that. The implications are too damning. If this is your nature — which he’s proven it is — then that ‘somebody’ could be out there. Waiting for their fill.
Gojo just lucked out because he struck first. He sunk his teeth into you before anyone else could have a taste.
You’re way too sweet, after all. Sweet is his favorite flavor, but it’s a popular flavor, which incurs some risk.
He could apologize right now and you’d want to forgive him. Those are your dimensions, your start and end. He won’t apologize, though, because infinity can’t have parameters like you do. Not beyond the consonants and vowels that make it a word. He’ll let you feel its mass and weight, but he won’t let you understand.
“Satoru,” you speak in a soft voice. His eyes shine brilliantly, like splintering glaciers reflecting the sun. How they fall to your tingling lips and linger there isn’t lost on you. “I don’t want— we can’t part on these terms.”
“Rest assured then, because we aren’t parting.”
“That isn’t your call! You’re right, okay? I wanted all the loose ends to neatly tie themselves up so I’d feel better about going home. That was wrong of me, so I get why you’re upset and acting all— whatever it is you’re doing.”
“If you’re worried about your family, they could always move here,” Gojo suggests. “Hell, it doesn’t just have to be mom and dad, you can bring everyone on over. Second and third cousins too. I’d take care of everything.”
Deep down, on a microscopic level, you know this is the closest thing to compromise you’ll get from him.
He keeps going upon noting your uneasy silence.
“It’s not like I want you to be a miserable hikikomori. There’s plenty here for you, just give it some thought. Like little Megumi, for instance. He’s taken a shine to you. I can teach him, yeah, but you’re by far a better influence for the non-jujutsu side of things. And this school!”
Gojo motions to your surroundings. “You’d still get to teach, train, whatever you want. And when we help bring up the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers — that will be how change comes about. Everything you need is right here.”
“... Because you’re here?” You tentatively ask.
“I was gonna leave that unsaid, but yeah, that’s a major selling point.”
Gojo’s grin loses its sharpness and relaxes into a closed-mouth smile. Your heart feels like it’s being drawn and quartered. Various influences tug on the organ, refusing to give you up, even if it causes agony in your chest cavity. Amazingly enough, you want to plant yourself in the poor soil he’s spreading. Seeds of forgiveness long to be sown. That angelic-looking demon who conquered your lips and chilled you to your core could be a doppelgänger.
Logically, you know that isn’t the case. Mr. Hyde is still Dr. Jekyll at the end of the day. However, what does logic leave you with? The knowledge that your closest companion can and will sculpt your future if what you create isn’t to his liking? That makes the hurt worse. The agony too personal. You can only take so much.
“I’ll… reconsider my plans,” you mumble.
He wraps an arm around your slumped shoulders. “That’s my girl. I knew we could work this out. A little communication goes a long way.”
There are an infinite amount of ways you could respond to that belittling statement. You could utilize your cursed technique and see how far it’d get you. You could scream, collapse, cry, beg, or condemn. This merry-go-round of options spins and spins. He can see it too. He’ll let you take the lead this once. Any path you tread, he’ll adapt to.
The universe holds its breath, as does the world’s strongest sorcerer.
“Does your budget allow for a trip to the dango after dinner?” You ask, wearing a smile that doesn’t feel right just yet.
Gojo, on the other hand, has no difficulty returning it.
“Only if I get to feed it to you.”
A heavenly body such as his has what it takes to bring passing asteroids into orbit.
Breaking free isn't just difficult.
It's impossible.
tw: non con ish, toxic relationship
i need nate jacob’s complex bakugo or something
just… i know he gets massive character development later on in the manga, but if he had gone down the other path and given into his jealousy i could totally see him becoming a possessive, toxic masculinity ridden POS who has a death grip on his doe-eyed, nympho gf.
he walks behind you in the halls like a doberman, making other dudes who look at you cower with just a glare. everyone knows not to mess with bakugo - no one is stupid enough to think they’d get out with all their limbs un-exploded if they did - and to fuck with you, to talk to you, is fucking with him. bakugo doesn’t like people touching what’s his and you’re the most precious thing he owns.
bakugo is an angry guy, but something about you calms him down. you’re a pretty little thing - light, flirty, sexy - with baby soft skin and a smile that makes his chest tight. everyone wants you. you know it, he knows it, but nonetheless you stick by his side. his pet, his princess. god does it do something for his ego.
when he’s looking into your eyes he sees something good, something sweet that loves him back. he feels a swell of pride in his chest whenever he wraps a hand around your waist and you let him pull you in, or when you don’t fight when he grabs your wrist -burning small warning marks with his quirk - and tells you that you aren’t going out with your friends tonight. you worship him and he protects you. it works.
he wants to hoard you, consume you. he wants your life to be revolved around him and him alone. when he takes you to bed he spends hours between your legs, eating you out like a madman, forcing you to scream his name until your throat goes hoarse. “katsuki! katsuki! katsuki!” well into the small hours of the morning, until he’s positive your mouth knows how to say nothing else and the noise becomes more of a plea for mercy than an aroused encouragement. then he fucks you like an animal, thrusting into you violently, kissing you with tongue and teeth and saliva dripping down your chin, growling that you’re his and you’ll only ever be his.
and you, being the pretty, agreeable bitch you are, of course nod along, digging your fingers into his back as he cores you out.
but ultimately you aren’t surgically attached to him and you do have enough autonomy to leave, which, considering how HORRIBLE he is would probably be something that crosses your mind at least a few times. if you should choose to do that, prepare for his wrath. you can change all your classes, hide behind your friends, stay home all day - it doesn’t matter. bakugo will find you - he’ll break in through your bedroom window if he has too. crawling on top of you, pinning you down to your childhood bed, reminding you with flame dripping from his eyes that he wasn’t fucking lying when he said you’re his. now you’re gonna be good and lay still while he reminds you.
Liv……this senario with Levi.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdbjkgnB/
vi i have been hanging onto this ask for SO long hoping that one day i would be strong enough to write this into a full fic but i need the world to see into your big sexy brain bc this is DELICIOUS
glass houses levi ackerman/f!reader (aot) word count: 1.2k tags: en ess eff double yew, age gap, voyeurism, stripping, mentions of masturbation
18+ MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT
Older neighbour!Levi who has all of his things unpacked within the first few hours of moving in, cardboard boxes broken down and tucked neatly away as quickly as they appear. You don't even really notice it happen; one day the apartment across the courtyard between your buildings was empty, and the next he's there.
So can you really be blamed for the fact that you aren't expecting a spectator when you start to peel your clothes off in front of your open window after a long, gruelling day at work? Your bones are weary, your shower is calling to you, and your neighbour is watching you undress.
The thin silky robe you pull on after you duck down out of sight feels insufficient to cover your body after you've been spotted--the humiliation leaving you feeling acutely bare as you peek your head up over the windowsill enough to see if he's still looking as raptly as he had been a moment prior.
He is.
At least he seems to have a sense of humour about it, if the wry little smile he shoots you with his hand placed over his eyes in a faux-display of coyness is anything to go by.
He doesn't have much by way of decor or furniture--a minimalist if you've ever seen one--but everything he does have that you can see from the vantage point of your own apartment is tasteful and expensive. It's one of the first things you notice when you risk another glance in the direction of his apartment the next morning, the second is a fleeting glimpse of him with a mug in his hand--and the sighting has you skittering quickly away, your heart pounding in your chest as rapidly as it had been when you weren't wearing any clothes, in spite of the fact that now you're fully dressed.
You're not sure what makes you do it again that second night. Maybe it's the cheap wine you've been drinking, maybe you're lonely, maybe you're craving that same adrenaline rush that you'd felt the night before when his eyes were the only thing on your skin.
You take your time undressing in front of your window this time, putting on a bit of a show. You know he's there even without looking. You'd caught a glimpse of him, on that same spot on his couch, with another glass of red wine in his hand--but more than that you can feel his eyes on you again.
It feels even better than it did the first time.
It becomes a routine after that. Your new neighbour settling in with his glass of wine every night to watch you painstakingly strip yourself bare for him. It feels like an eternity passes as you're slowly pulling off every article of your clothing until there's absolutely nothing left, and somehow every night that eternity seems to pass a little faster--leaving you with the feeling that you wish it had lasted just a little bit longer. That his stare had lingered on you just a little while more.
He never touches himself. No matter how tantalizingly you let your own touch linger on your body, how gently you graze the soft dips and swells of your own form. It drives you crazy, leaves you panting and moaning as you fuck your own fingers in the the privacy of your bathroom a short time later--but somewhere distantly you recognize that maybe that's the point.
The day you (inevitably, finally) meet him face to face in the little courtyard nestled between your homes you're taken aback by how handsome of a man he is up close.
He's older than you--that's certain now that you see him in all his glory--but he's aging gracefully. Time has exceedingly been kind to the angular, symmetrical lines of his face.
You don't know what to do. Or say. Part of you wants to turn heel and run for it, but instead you just laugh--breathy and light in the afternoon air.
"Hi," you say through your giggles, a hand reaching up to cover your flushing, burning cheek.
"Hello," he greets you with a polite dip of his head and a little smile of his own.
You tell him your name. Because what else are you supposed to say to the man who's been watching you get naked for the past 9 days? Who's watched you work your own nipples into sensitive little peaks just for the thrill? Who's seen you trail your fingers down down down between your legs under the guise of pulling off your panties?
"I'm Levi," he says, and hearing the way he says it nearly makes you tremble. Watching his lips form the shape of his own name makes you ache in the deepest part of your core.
"It's nice you meet you," you say softly.
Properly, that is.
He smirks slightly, then he hums.
The air between you feels too thin, too charged for a first meeting, too familiar for two strangers to be sharing between them.
"Have you lived here long?" Levi asks, and you have the fleeting thought that if he doesn't stop talking soon you're going to get to used to it, too attached to the very sound of it.
"Two years," you reply. "I moved here when I graduated college and started working."
He makes a little sound of recognition befitting of the small talk the two of you are sharing, but his gaze is piercing. He's appraising you. Sizing you up. Undressing you with his eyes in the same way he's watched you do with your own two hands.
"Well," you clear your throat, taking a step back towards your building, "I guess I should-"
His hand moves quickly, extending towards you. You pause, staring down at it, and the little card tucked between two fingers as he holds it out in your direction.
You pluck it slowly from his grasp, and turn it over in your hand.
Levi Ackerman, CEO ACKERMAN CORP.
You swallow as you read the credentials on the business card. The name, the title. The email address, office number, and fax details. Finally, the neatly scribbled series of digits on the lower righthand corner of the simple but tastefully designed card.
"My cell number." Levi anticipates the question before you can voice it, and your eyes flicker up toward him, greeted with a gaze of molten steel that threatens to drown you under it's weight. "If you ever need anything, or would like to grab a drink."
"I'm not much of a red wine fan," you say, setting out with the intention of levity but the words are too breathless to be teasing.
He smirks, clicking his tongue behind his straight white teeth. "I'll get you anything you'd like."
Your heartbeat thrums under your skin.
"Alright, Mr. Ackerman."
"Levi," he corrects you pointedly.
"Levi," you repeat, and you like the way his name tastes on your tongue. You wonder if he tastes just as sweet.
You turn towards your building, pausing once you take a single step away.
You turn back, glancing at him over your shoulder. He's already started in the direction of his own building.
"Levi?" you call towards him and he pauses, turning back to face you once more.
His brow quirks curiously.
You smile.
"Welcome to the neighbourhood."
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you get hurt and jason’s pissed
warnings: reader’s wrist is accidentally sprained from being grabbed too hard
You could hear scuttling from somewhere else in the garden, an estate more than sizable enough than the game afoot.
You were under the distinct impression though that the bats and birds are playing with you similar to how they would a child. Slower, weaker, and less experienced than the big kids. You weren't complaining though. Because, frankly, it was stressful. They tend to operate more like they’re in a warzone than a game, you felt like you were about to be sniped out at any second.
Rightfully so, apparently, seeing how silently Stephanie had crept up on you.
“Hey,” Stephanie hissed, ignoring the way you jumped. “We’re doing alright for ourselves,” she said smugly.
“Yeah,” you’d nodded, like you agreed with her more than you probably did.
“Okay listen, I think the flag—” what flag? “—is by the fountain so, I think because there’s three of us and two of them, we should bait-and-switch.”
“We’re on teams?” you asked, no longer completely sure you know what you’re playing.
“We are now!” she smiled, starting to run. “I’ll bait!”
She stopped briefly in her tracks and turned back to you hissing, “Don’t trust Cass,” before scurrying away.
Rather than sit around and wait there for…something?...to happen, you jumped up darting in the opposite direction with little to no indication whether this is a good move.
What you didn’t see is Cass rapidly approaching from your rear.
What you also didn’t see was Dick crouched down in a row of shrubbery, which gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch your arm up and yank you down with him. You’d mewled a bit as your wrist made contact harshly with the grass, immediately buckling under you.
Cass was keen to your pain immediately, slowing her sprint to a stroll as she observed you.
“Are you okay?” she signs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
The response was instinctual and you didn’t actually have time to register whether or not you were okay by the time you gave it.
You pushed up on your elbows, trying to figure out whether Dick is even on your team, but the way the others approached had you halting consideration. They’re savvy to the situation at a speed in which you can only attribute to their vigilantism, looking at you with concern.
“You good?” Tim asked, approaching languidly.
“That looked like it hurt,” Cass commented, crouching down next to you to see your wrist better.
Dick shook his head, “No, she’s okay.” He turned to you, prodding, “You’re okay.”
“Yeah, I’m, um…” you winced, looking at your wrist. “It hurts a little.”
Cass examined it closely, tilting it gently to the side. “It might be sprained.”
Dick paled.
“No.”
Tim pointed a thumb back towards the manor, “We can get it wrapped upstairs.”
“No.”
You were only then able to clock the barely contained grin on Stephanie’s face, begging to break.
“Ooooh. He’s gonna kill you.”
Cass had then kindly offered to take you inside and wrap it up for you, which you accepted, unexpecting of the plus-one of Dick trailing behind you like a guilty puppy all the while.
“You know I didn’t mean to grab you that hard right? I—”
Cass laughs quietly as she wraps the bandage around your wrist, amused by Dick’s now-third explanation/apology for the incident.
“I know, Dick,” you say, trying to appease him.
“I’m sorry,” he tells you genuinely, but you can tell there’s more there that he isn’t verbalizing.
You nod, “I know, Dick. It’s okay. It was just an accident.”
Cass pins the wrapping in place securely and with a smile, signs to you that she’s all done.
You rotate your arm a bit, testing your movement under the wrap. As Cass leaves with the first aid kit, Dick remains sat at your side, leg thumping up and down.
He takes a deep breath, “What if…what if you avoid him until it heals?”
“Dick.”
He takes your uninjured hand in his with urgency in his eyes,
He looks down at your jointed hands before loosening his already mild grip significantly.
“Are you going to tell him?” he asks, looking like he’s bracing for bad news.
You shake your head sympathetically, “No. I can’t guarantee you that he won’t find out, but I won’t tell him.”
Dick takes a deep breath, looking at the ground with intense focus. “Okay. Okay.” He stands, “I need to go.”
You watch in amused bewilderment as he staggers out the door, looking around frantically.
Within the next few minutes, he creates and enacts his plan A. He walks into the living room, sitting down next to a very disinterested Tim, eyes forward and serious.
“I’ll give you two grand right now if you tell him it was you.”
Tim barks out, “Absolutely not.” He looks at his brother, still laughing. “No fucking way.”
Dick breaks the serious facade immediately, looking at him. “Five.”
A deadpan from Tim.
“You don’t have five thousand dollars.”
Dick throws his head back, back thudding against the couch. “Dude, please! He’ll kill me!”
Tim scoffs, “He’d kill me!”
Dick huffs, “No, it’s different for me! Do you have any idea how many times he told me not to do that?”
“Well then it sounds like you fucked up,” Tim sneers.
“Oh my God.”
He takes off again, combing through different rooms in the house with hope of finding a quick but effective hiding place for, say, the next twenty years?
He bursts through the study, unwittingly interrupting Bruce and Alfred having a discussion over tea.
The latter sits up with a tense brow, “Master Dick?”
The former turns around in his seat, “What’s the matter?”
Dick struggles for a second before confessing, “I accidentally sprained someone's wrist.”
Bruce scans his face slowly, nodding. “Alright…you’ll have to take responsibility for their patrol duties—”
Dick cuts him off with a sharp breath, “Said person doesn’t have any patrol duties to be affected...”
Bruce processes for a moment before shaking his head.
“I can’t help you.”
Dick’s panic takes over again, prompting him to continue his scurry through the room, towards the other door.
Alfred interrupts his process with a very logical argument, “You don’t think running away will make this worse, Master Dick?”
“I—I don’t know!” Dick whines, stopping in his tracks. “I don’t know what to do!”
Bruce purses his lips, gesturing, “Dick, when you make a mistake…you have to submit to the consequences, you know that.”
Dick gapes, “This is not a normal consequence!”
Meanwhile, you’ve busied yourself with fiddling with the knick knacks and mementos lining the shelves of Jason’s childhood bedroom.
You’re admiring a picture of him and Alfred from when he was young as the door creaks open behind you.
“Sweetheart?” Your boyfriend calls out, head barely poked in through the crack.
“Hey, Jay,” you smile, setting the picture frame back on the shelf.
He enters fully, covered in motor oil and grease, and smiles his sweet, easy smile when he sees you.
Moving onto the next trinket on the shelf, you pick up a stuffed animal placed intentionally at the front. Your gaze finds the mirror, watching his reflection as he pulls the stained shirt off his back.
You smile to yourself, noticing the way his back muscles flex as he adjusts. “How’s the bike?”
“Better than it was this morning,” he sighs. “Where’ve you been?”
He turns around to look at you, taking easy steps towards you.
You return the toy elephant to its place, moving to face him. “Uh, we were outside, playing…at least three separate games at once.”
The second you’re in proximity, your hands join like it’s second nature.
He nods, all too familiar with the family’s unique methods of gamefair.
“Did th—” He looks down at your intertwined hands, brow furrowing as soon as he spots the bandage wrapped around your wrist. “What happened?”
You glance down, shrugging. “Overexerted myself playing tag.”
He looks at you skeptically, but says nothing about it.
He turns your hand over gently, asking, “Is it sprained?”
You nod, relaxed. “Yeah. Cass said it’s mild.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“No,” you say, sweeping his hair back with your other hand. “Barely hurt then.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look satisfied with the conversation.
Regardless, he turns away again, shuffling through a drawer for a clean shirt.
“You, uh, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?” he asks, pulling his arms through, his head following.
“Yeah,” you say gaily. “Alfred said he’s making his ‘special spaghetti’, apparently it’s a household favorite?”
He wavers, halfway to between decisions. “Yeah…”
He huffs quietly, turning back to face you fully. “Can I see it?”
You nod, happy to ease his mind.
You start to unwrap the bandaging, him doing half the work for you. The work is done silently until your wrist is exposed, revealing your bruised skin.
You both see it at the same time—the hand-shaped bruise wrapped around your wrist.
You’re both quiet for a second—him putting pieces together and you waiting for the shoe to drop.
He takes off suddenly, clearly having come to a likely very accurate conclusion about what had happened.
“Fucking idiot—”
You try for his hand but he’s out of reach before you can grab it.
“I’ll be right back,” he grumbles behind him.
“Jason—” you sigh, “At least help me wrap it back up first.”
He hesitates, halfway to the door, ultimately returning to you in defeat. He takes your forearm gently, scanning it over again before beginning to wrap it.
You watch his face closely, noting the clear vexation. “It was just an accident,” you tell him.
He scoffs, “It better have been.”
You drop your shoulders and lull your head to the side. “Jason. I’m not made of glass, you can’t expect other people to act like it.”
“I don’t. I expect him to mind his own strength, and if he can’t do that, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself.”
You sigh, “Just don’t do anything harsh. Please. I think he’s worried you’re gonna punch him.”
“He should be,” he says shortly. He finishes off the wrapping, pinning it in place firmly.
You grab onto his forearm before he can pull away, “You’re not going to. Right?”
He doesn’t answer so you try to make his gaze meet yours, “Right?”
His eyes roll, “Yeah, fine.”
You smile, holding his face. “I love you.”
He huffs as though he’s inconvenienced, but confesses the obvious truth nonetheless. “I love you.”
He looks you in the eye, face serious. “You promise me it doesn’t hurt?”
“I promise,” you nod, brushing your fingers against his palm.
“Dick!”
The angry voice bellows through the tall halls of the manor, heavy footsteps thudding.
He stomps into the living room, Tim, Cass, and Stephanie watching the entryway with wide eyes.
“Where is he?”
Unwitting shoulders shrug and heads shake. Truthfully, at that. Dick, smartly, did not tell anyone where he was hiding.
Jason scans the trios faces, looking for any sign of apprehension.
He clocks the grin shamelessly plastered across his sister's face quickly. “Stephanie?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “But let me know when you find him, I wanna see—”
But Jason’s moving onto the next room before she can get the last words out.
He enters the dining room, looking right to left before finding his target, halfway to stuffing himself behind the fine china cabinet in the corner.
There’s a brief, tense moment in between where the pair realize what they’re seeing and when Dick sets off in a sprint towards the kitchen, Jason quick on his tail.
“Really? Really?” Jason shouts.
“It was an accident! It was a fucking—”
He narrowly dodges a swipe from Jason, then ducking before a ladle could make contact with his head.
“Are you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherf—”
Dick rounds the kitchen island as fast as possible, Jason testing him on the other side.
Dick takes a breath, “Dude, it’s fine now, it’s not that big of a—”
Jason recoils, “‘It’s not a big deal’? Come here. Let me sprain your wrist, asshole!”
He circles the counter quicker than the elder boy can think to move away and lunges at him.
Dick throws his hands up in front of him, “Wait, wait, wait! Truce! Truce! Truce?”
Jason drops his shoulders, leveling his older brother with a look. “You can’t call a truce if you’re the only one who did anything wrong.”
“I…” It doesn’t take him long to piece together that his defense makes no sense, so he resorts to his last option.
“Please?” Dick asks, nothing short of imploring.
Jason relents—slightly—upon hearing his brother's tone, but still finds it in him to shove him, though not nearly as hard as he’d been planning to.
“I told you a hundred fucking times not to grab her so hard—”
Dick nods heavily, waving a hand. “I know, I know—”
“Clearly you fucking don’t!” Jason shouts. He huffs, running a hand over his face. “You sprained her wrist. You’ve been doing this vigilante shit for fifteen years, how do you still not fucking know how to control your own strength?”
Dick grimaces, “I do! I do, I just screwed up, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t—” Jason narrowly holds back a scowl, “Did you apologize to her?”
“Yeah, of course I did!”
For a split second, Jason looks ready to keep arguing before purposefully dropping the anger from his body.
The resulting relief almost drowns Dick.
It only lasts a moment though, before Jason looks at him again, sneering, “Idiot,” before pushing him once more.
“Jason.”
Your voice has Jason dropping all turbulence in an instant. He and Dick both whip their heads towards the door, equally unexpecting of the interruption.
You tilt your head at your boyfriend with a knowing but disappointed stare.
He looks back at you like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lips parted.
“I didn’t hit him.”
⭐️ your options are: (1) reblog fics or (2) be a little bitch ⭐️
was meant to be a drabble inspired by the opening of It Follows and it turned into something a lot longer than I expected sorry if it’s trash
Warnings: kidnapping, noncon, dubcon, death
The waves of the ocean lazily lapped at the sandy shore, the water hitting you every time the tide came in. The stereotypical image of a beach that had crossed your mind when you’d thought of this destination, one of a deep blue sea on golden sands, was nowhere to be found. Instead, the waves were black, reflecting the dark, empty sky above. The only light source in your vicinity was that of the car parked behind you, keys left in the ignition so you could keep the headlights on. You sat in the middle of that spotlight, hugging your knees to your chest as the water continued to hit you, soaking your feet and the seat of your shorts, leaving the fabric feeling cold and heavy on your body.
It was as though the waves were trying to pull you in, to take you into the abyss that sat before you, where you could disappear into its depths and never be found again.
The waves came rushing up, hitting you once more and then pulling away, tempting you with the same offer as they had been since you arrived.
“You’re wrong,” you whispered, “he’d still find me.”
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Welcome backkkk 👀
yes im back and working very hard on writing my current requests!!
my brains like dry sauce bc i haven’t written in so long, currently trying to get my groove back 😭😭