My Nonexistent Kingdom For Some DYNAMICS VARIETY (aka Me Finally Drawing Something Else For Aromantic

I just want to keep this in my pocket :)

Why do you ship billford? i want to hear all ur handcanons and reasons hehehe

ALL of them? My friend I do not think you comprehend the magnitude of the task you have requested. I can tell you some of them.

Here's a post I already wrote listing why I like them, and here's a post about what Ford thinks about Bill, and I just made a post about what Bill thinks about Ford because I've had it typed up on discord for ages and decided it needs its own post.

So, some headcanons:

⭐️ While most people who ship it headcanon that they had a romantic relationship of some kind pre-betrayal, my default headcanon is that they DIDN'T have a relationship—mainly because I enjoy making Bill, specifically, miserable, and I like headcanoning that Ford violently lost interest in Bill at the EXACT moment Bill developed a sincere interest in Ford.

Meaning that Bill "LOOKS LIKE MR. BRAINIAC FINALLY GOT SMART" Cipher destroyed his own chances five seconds before going "no no wait I actually want to keep this one," and that's SO funny. I made a graph!

⭐️ From Lost Legends we know that Ford used to date a siren. In the original Greek mythology, sirens didn't woo sailors by singing prettily; sirens offered knowledge about distant and future events. Sailors wrecked their ship upon the sirens' shores and starved to death at their feet just to listen to them sing about the secrets of the universe.

What I'm saying is: Ford has a type.

⭐️ This is a mutual monsterfucker 4 monsterfucker relationship. They look at each other and go "wow you're such a weird-looking alien" and they're attracted to each other BECAUSE of that, not in spite of that. I don't want any of this "oh how could I be drawn to something so strange..." shame out of Ford, as far as I'm concerned his first crush was Mothra, a floating triangle is nothing.

⭐️ Consequently, this means that if you take an AU where Bill gets stuffed in a human body, rather than making things easier, it ironically means that any PHYSICAL attraction Ford had for Bill instantly evaporates. A humanized Bill could be the sexiest damn thing in the room and everyone else in the vicinity is going 🥵💦 but Ford's going 😐. If they hook up with Bill in a human body it's in spite of Bill's current appearance and it's because Ford knows that, underneath the body, Bill's still Bill. You could hand Ford a perfect Tumblr Sexyman supermodel and he'll be fantasizing about a three-tiered pyramid with more teeth than a shark.

⭐️ Bill WILL play Dungeons Dungeons & More Dungeons with Ford, voluntarily, for fun. However he always wants to DM and he's brutal.

⭐️ I think that the majority of the Henchmaniacs used to be like Ford: young, naive, USEFUL aliens that Bill was trying to manipulate into getting access to their universes, probably by trying to get THEM to build portals. None succeeded, but they got far enough along that either they chose to join Bill, they were forced to flee their dimension and join Bill—or, due to Bill, their home no longer existed, so they might as well join him. I think that every one of them was once his ✨favorite✨ person. I think he sealed the deal in winning their friendship & loyalty with a calculated, scripted display of vulnerability—the exact same one he tried to use on Ford: I liberated my constricting, flat world; I want to liberate yours...

He may have dated some of them, too, especially right after they joined. Because he wouldn't have recruited them unless he thought they were JUST ♥ LIKE ♥ HIM. They're special, they're important...

... and after a few years, Bill realizes they're not that much like him after all and loses interest, and they sink down into the rank-and-file with the rest of the Henchmaniacs. The Henchmaniacs are FULL of people who were once Bill's Favorite—his best friends, his confidants, his lovers—and most of them are desperate to catch his eye and be that important to him again. They gave everything they had to Bill only for Bill to get bored.

So when he shows off the human who enabled Weirdmageddon and invites him to join the gang, they know EXACTLY what they're looking at: Bill's newest favorite. They know how this goes, he'll be gaga over this earthling for the next 5 to 500 years and then Ford will be just another regular Henchmaniac. The fact that Ford doesn't seem eager to join is no problem. Ford isn't the only soon-to-be Henchmaniac whose world Bill ended; some of them had to be talked around into joining, too.

⭐️ I think that, if you took Bill with his canon personality, didn't give him any character development, and then made him GENUINELY fall in love with Ford, and had him SINCERELY try his hardest to be a good, loving, healthy partner... he would still be toxic as hell for Ford.

Part of what draws Bill to Ford is that he sees SO much of himself in Ford—some accurate, some just projection. (You who crave power and fame and fortune like I do; you who also hunger to be all-knowing; you who would also sacrifice your world and your family and everyone you know and love to get what you want; you with an ego the size of the moon, oh, you deserve an ego the size of a star.) And so he assumes that what Ford really wants is what BILL would want in Ford's shoes.

And if Bill was Ford, what he'd want is to REALLY be the man who changed the world. Bill thinks he's fulfilling all Ford's wildest dreams if he gives that to him. Naming Ford the orchestrator of Weirdmageddon is the most generous gift Bill could ever offer.

Even if Bill is Really Really Trying and accepts that okay Ford doesn't want his world invaded: his idea of showing Ford love will be pulling the strings to get Ford fame & fortune. Teach him secrets of the universe that he can publish in a dozen groundbreaking scientific papers, arrange meetings with politicians and celebrities, get him a Nobel, get him an Oscar-winning bio pic, get him a billion dollars, get him EVERYTHING Ford's ever imagined as a marker of success and then double it.

When Bill's manipulating Ford, he offers praise and approval in little drops periodically leaking from the faucet, to keep Ford thirsty for more. When Bill's LOVING Ford, he just breaks the fire hydrant and lets it flood the street.

But the thing is, that's not good for Ford. That'll never make him truly happy. Ford's only ever learned how to measure his success by external markers, but the more external markers he collects the more he'll feel like he hasn't Made It yet. It's even possible that knowing Bill's helped him get this far will make him feel like he hasn't really EARNED it. He could have the whole world handed to him and he'll feel just as dissatisfied as he was on the day he first summoned Bill.

And Bill, even if he's trying his HARDEST to do this right, wouldn't be able to understand why this isn't working. A trillion years old and the only way he knows how to show love (or to receive love) is by showering someone in praise and gifts and favors. If that doesn't work, he doesn't know what's left.

A more literal interpretation of Jevil's "freedom" (also some rambling)

The last post I did on Jevil- I talked about how his "freedom" could be like a sort of "inner freedom." He is trapped physically, but free from the contraints of responsibility, society, morality, etc. Now, I think that mindset is exactly the thing that led him to do whatever he did to get imprisoned, but the freedom he talks about in game might be a different thing entirely.

The thing that got me thinking about that is a video by halfbreadchaos. (I forgot the specific video but check them out- they make great stuff) They led me to notice the fact that Jevils prison is very oddly positioned, and the entire "???" floor area as a whole is really strange as well.

The room itself looks eerily similar to that first area we wake up in on chapter 1. The creepy atmosphere, the color of the floors (kinda), and the torches are literally the same as the ones found in that pre-castle town area. The entire place looks so incredibly different from the rest of the card castle. The walls and surrounding area don't even seem to be like... there. Like it's some sort of abyss. Like the entire room is out of bounds of something.

Jevil's cell/room shares a very similar vibe in that aspect as well. On the outside, the bars just seem to lead into nothing. And even on the inside, It just looks... wrong. The spinning carousel thing is so different from anything else in the game. I mean, toby said it's made out of 2D parts, but it's obviously supposed to look kinda 3D. The characters aren't even standing on the thing properly. Even behind the carousel, it's just more nothingness.

____

Now, let's look at Jevils dialogue directly.

"BUT I'M FAST, FAST, CLEVER, CLEVER." "THEY LOST THE CHASE, AND LOCKED UP THEIR ENTIRE RACE." "BUILDING A PRISON AROUND THE WHOLE WORLD. NOW I'M THE ONLY FREE ONE." Ralsei: "But you're clearly the one behind bars..." "THINGS DON'T SEEM SUCH FROM HERE LIGHTNERS!"

Looking at this completely literally, this is what we can gather: The guards and/or Seam chased him around, but he was too fast and clever for them. They somehow decided to build a prison around the dark world and trapped everyone behind bars, making Jevil the only free one. This is obviously not the case. If we try to fit this interpretation into what we know about the dark world and Jevil's situation... it uh, kinda looks like he's joking about how it looks like everybody is trapped because he's looking at them through bars.

But that answer is pretty boring, isn't it? There is obviously a lot more we can read into the dialogue. Jevil is shown to speak with a certain bit of abstractness. This analysis is supposed to be a more literal interpretation, but it's clear we need to look a little more deeper than that.

____

Let's take what I brought up before the dialogue, along with some other points.

Jevil's prison is very clearly separated from the rest of the dark world. Hell, maybe even the rest of the game with how odd it is.

Jevil talks about how everybody else is trapped, and he is the only "free" one.

This freedom doesn't exactly seem to be "inner freedom," as he directly connects his prison with this "freedom" by inviting us "outside" when we use the key on the door.

They way he doesn't elaborate any further when we do enter his room, and because the characters don't seem to have like, any sudden revelations or something inside of the room, leads me to believe that it's that inherent oddness, that separation from the "normal" part of the game that Jevil is finding freedom in.

Nobody in the world of Deltarune technically has automony over their choices. Every single choice, every event, is because of the plot. All of these people are characters in a video game, able to be manipulated by higher forces on a whim. Gaster/the mysterious entity made Jevil realize this and drove him insane with the knowledge.

Now, Jevil doesn't actively dispise that fact like Spamton does. He might almost relish in it- as he did go on that "NOTHING MATTERS EVERYTHING IS A SIMULATION! UEEHEEHEE!!!" rampage that caused so much chaos.

But then he faced the consequences of his actions. His own coworker/quite possibily a good friend locked him up in this dark, creepy place far, far below where the regular prisoners are supposed to go. And it all felt quite... stupid.

"Look at all those little people, obediently following the rules of this worthless world. They don't realize, don't they? They've simply placed another peice in the great game being set up by the higher beings. They're just walking themselves closer and closer into their eventual end. It's almost as if... they're trapping themselves. Building a prison around all of them, allowing themselves to be puppeteered by the people who control the world.

Hah! I'm quite clever, aren't I? Thanks to what I've done, I've been relagated as even lesser than a side character, sitting in a little haven tucked away from the influences of the outside world... No, I'm the one looking from the outside this time. I'm the only one here who truly understands, aren't I? But it's not my job to enlighten such fools. I'll be content watching from the backseat as the chaos unfolds..."

___

I, uh... didn't mean to write a fanfic- but I'm pretty sure that's Jevil's mindset. He fully accepts this messed up world he's inside, but he defnitely wouldn't mind if he was granted a little more freedom. And somehow... that's what he got. As a secret boss, he's... basically fully separated from the main story, but his presence is still enough to make it clear he exists in the world.

He's "free" in a much more literal sense than I intially thought. After all, isn't being that pedestrian on the streets who (hopefully) doesn't get caught in the crossfire of the MC's the best freedom any story could give?

When violent characters are gentle and tender & when gentle characters are violent and unhinged

Compilation of Mysterious Papyrus Things

Random Strange Facts:

Papyrus is the only character to speak without an asterisk

Papyrus’s dialogue shakes on a consistent basis when no one else’s does

Papyrus is described as “forgettable,” something only mentioned elsewhere in context with Goner Kid and Gaster

Papyrus seems to be able to see what the player is looking at when he calls them (”THAT BAG OF DOG FOOD LOOKS FAMILIAR…”)

Papyrus seems to know that MTT has eyes before MTT becomes MTT Ex

Papyrus has a total of 2184 lines in the game—more than any other character, and almost as much as the narrator of the game, which is at 2418 lines. The next closest character is Undyne, with 1268 total lines.

Similar wording is used to describe Papyrus as it is to describe Gaster. (It’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening)

Papyrus’s theme, “Nyeh heh heh/Bonetrousle,” is used in all of the trailers of the game

Papyrus and Sans break the 4th wall in the stream greenlight trailer, which shocks Toriel

Papyrus flies/breaks the laws of physics casually and seemingly on a regular basis

Papyrus is one of the few characters that refers to gameplay mechanics (“PRESS [C] ON THE KEYBOARD FOR DATING HUD!” “HOLD UP LONGER TO JUMP HIGHER, JEEZ!”)

Papyrus says himself that he knows nothing about his hands because he always keeps his gloves on.

There is nothing, nothing known about his past before his showing up to Snowdin. By the end of the game and after some research, you can basically know more about Gaster and Sans than you do about Papyrus, despite him having the most dialogue in the game besides the narrator.

Papyrus has such control over his magic in his fight, that he can make his attacks do zero damage because he refuses to kill the human.

You are healed to full HP right before the Papyrus fight, as well as immediately after if you are captured.

Papyrus doesn’t seem to realize that Frisk is a kid, despite Frisk wearing a striped shirt, which is a common indicator for childhood in monster society. (is he unfamiliar with common monster culture, for some reason?)

Sans reads Papyrus bed time stories on a regular basis, but Papyrus himself never seems to sleep

The Undertale Q&A that Toby Fox did for Undertale’s anniversary revolves around Papyrus

His defense raises in the spare phase of his fight, unlike every other monster. He seems to be able to manipulate his own stats.

Relationships:

The two 4th wall breaking characters (Flowey and the Annoying Dog) seem to have a special interest in Papyrus

Annoying Dog:

Steals bone attacks on two separate occasions (Papyrus fight and aborted Genocide hangout, in which the “special attack” is hinted to be Gaster Blasters)

Steals bones in general on two occasions (Under Papyrus’s sink and during the hangout with Undyne)

Eats Papyrus’s lasagna

Snuggles with Papyrus

Flowey:

Says Papyrus started a “Flowey Fan Club”

Says Papyrus took a long time to get boring on his repeated runs

Asks Papyrus to call Frisk before the True lab, gather everyone together before the True Ending, and probably leave a note in Alphys’ trash can

Flowey is the only one who knows Papyrus’s favorite food, which is dinosaur oatmeal (no, it’s not spaghetti. Papyrus has never eaten it.)

When Flowey attacks the group during the True Pacifist fight, he binds everyone with two vines, except Papyrus–who he binds with four.

Sans (overlooking the bounteous brotherly goodness of the two):

Papyrus lies to him on a consistent basis

This is to probably humor Sans about his level of knowledge?

Papyrus still expects Sans to know more about Papyrus than Papyrus does himself?

Papyrus acts negatively towards Sans’s puns, but then turns around and makes the most (and arguably best) puns in the game out of anyone

Personality:

Doesn’t outwardly acknowledge criticism

According to Sans, he is trash-talked a lot

May have self-worth issues

Extremely blasé about his own death

Doesn’t seem to have friends, despite working very hard to get them

He phrases things in really strange ways. (”UNMANDATE IT SAFER”)

Papyrus staunchly refuses to really hurt people, despite it being very likely that he could be just as hard or harder of a fight than Sans

He has a strong and unshakeable belief that people can change (does he know this from personal experience?)

He hates Grillby’s and Hotland

He is an amazing artist

He considers himself a great chef, even if he doesn’t necessarily eat what he cooks

Quotes:

“DEADLY SPIKES, PRECARIOUS BRIDGES! TRULY THE PILLARS OF YOUTH!”

[when dying] “ALAS, POOR PAPYRUS. [this is quoting Shakespeare while he’s dying] WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE MY HEAD!”

“I WOULD NEVER TAKE A VACATION FOR ANY REASON!”

Undyne: “Papyrus… doesn’t know how to sleep??”

“I WANT TO MEET DEATH!”

“YOU CAN SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN A PUDDLE, BUT… DON’T LET A BODY OF WATER DETERMINE YOUR SELF WORTH!”

“IT’S MY LEAST FAVORITE NIGHTMARE!” – referring to Hotland lasers and conveyors

“A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE HOUSE. […] LABORADOR-Y?” When talking about Alphys’s lab with Sans present.

“A LAB?? MY BROTHER WOULD LOVE THAT!” –when talking about Alphys’s lab without Sans present.

“ICE CREAM? THANKS, BUT I LIVE IN SNOWDIN! THERE’S ICE CREAM ALL OVER THE GROUND!” –when talking about ice cream when Sans is present.

“I TRIED TO CAPTURE YOU… WHERE’S MY ICE CREAM.” –when talking about ice cream without Sans present.

“STOP LOOKING IN MY EMPTY MAIL BOX. THAT’S MY EMPTINESS, NOT YOURS.”

“I AM A PRETTY BRUTAL KIND OF GUY.”

“HOTLAND! I KNOW IT LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. WHICH, SINCE I’M ALWAYS WEARING GLOVES… I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT!”

“WELL, IF YOU WANT TO GET SOMEONE TO OPEN UP, YOU SHOULD ENGAGE THEM IN COMBAT! HUM HUM HUM…” – before the Shyren encounter. This is one of the few times where Papyrus actually gives you something helpful, but how does he know?

Links for additional reading/theories(most links to @batter-sempai, @papyrus-knows, and @queenofdragons6 posts and reblogs): Optimism does not make Papyrus naive Papyrus casually breaking laws of physics  Strange music (or lack of) in Papyrus’s room Brutal kind of guy screenshots Some disturbing connections Some suspicious screenshots Part 3 of a sans theory where the writer realizes Papyrus is ridiculously mysterious Chara and Papyrus similarities–they’re always smiling! Phone call and 4th wall suspicions Papyrus surprising cynicism Sans and Papyrus dynamic speculation Vague Gaster and Papyrus connection Papyrus’s skewed views on what is safe for kids… possible backstory connection? Another compilation of sketchy Papyrus-y things Insomnia and nightmares More on music and rooms Papyrus creeped out by echo flowers Papyrus and Annoying Dog interactions (there are a surprising amount) Sans and Papyrus dynamic speculation 2 Papyrus: treated like a child Papyrus: nasty words with a huge grin The fodder for many an amnesiac theory Papyrus is literally the skeleton in the closet Papyrus battle mechanics and minor Flowey connections The dude is lonely Theory: is Papyrus Gaster? More Papyrus fighting skill plus reality breaking phone call He’s a gentleman Papyrus doesn’t sleep Undertale Q&A/Papyrus’s favorite food Reference–How many lines each character has in the game Debunking Stupid Papyrus 1 – he knows what death is Debunking Stupid Papyrus 2 – the sink height. Strange, but workable Debunking Stupid Papyrus 3 – “solving” the horoscope Debunking Stupid Papyrus 4 – the lab Debunking Stupid Papyrus 5 – pet rock Debunking Stupid Papyrus 6 – spaghetti

I tried my best to put the hat on Spamton, but every time he just emitted a sound like an animal screeching and shook violently until he clipped through the wall. Jevil was more cooperative. He looks weirdly normal in Spamtons shirt- even with his spring neck thing.

(why is coloring and shading so hard-)

I love a character raised to be a weapon as much as the next guy. But what really gets me is a character raised to be a shield. Who can’t fathom being needed—or even being wanted— beyond keeping others safe. Who believe they are alive only to insure someone doesn’t die. no matter the cost. Characters who self-sacrifice not because they think they deserve it, but because no one else does deserve it, and it’s their job to protect.

Characters who’ve been told that’s why your important. Your worth something because this other person/ thing is important, and you are here solely to keep them safe.

Bonus points if it’s not a legitimate job they’ve been given. Maybe at one point it was, but now that they are free from it, they haven’t given up that mentality. No one is forcing or asking them to do this, but they need to. They need to in order to be deserving.

New Listener's Guide to The Magnus Archives

Or, How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love The Scares

A lot of people seem to be getting into TMA lately so I thought I’d offer some basic advice for anyone curious about it.

Useful Resources

A full list of transcripts

Content warnings 

Note: The creators have straight up stated that they’re not gonna include sexual violence or explicit pet deaths.

Character guide for keeping track of names

So what exactly is The Magnus Archives?

Fundamentally, it’s a horror anthology podcast. The central conceit is that our protagonist is an archivist and each episode he makes an audio recording of a written statement that someone has made about their encounter with the paranormal. This format means that the particular flavour of horror can vary wildly from episode to episode.

But what about The Plot?

It may not seem like it at first but there’s a lot going on. Don’t worry about it though, you don’t have to keep meticulous notes to understand things. The characters spend plenty of time trying to figure things out and you can just take that journey with them. However, if you’re into cork-boards and red string, then absolutely, this is a great podcast for that. But you’re not gonna have a worse experience if you just want to sit back and get spooked.

And Jonathan Sims?

That would be our protagonist, his voice actor, and the show’s writer. Yes, it gets confusing at times. It’s not set in stone but people often use Jon, John, Jonathan or the archivist to refer to the character while Jonny refers to the real person.

New Episodes?

Nope, it was planned to run for 5 seasons and then it ended. However, there is a prequel/sequel/”sidequel” in the form of The Magnus Protocol.

When your Character...

Gets into: A Fight ⚜ ...Another Fight ⚜ ...Yet Another Fight

Hates Someone ⚜ Kisses Someone ⚜ Falls in Love

Calls Someone they Love ⚜ Dies / Cheats Death ⚜ Drowns

is...

A Child ⚜ Interacting with a Baby/Child ⚜ A Genius ⚜ A Lawyer

Beautiful ⚜ Dangerous ⚜ Drunk ⚜ Injured ⚜ Shy

needs...

A Magical Item ⚜ An Aphrodisiac ⚜ A Fictional Poison

To be Killed Off ⚜ To Become Likable ⚜ To Clean a Wound

To Find the Right Word, but Can't ⚜ To Say No ⚜ A Drink

loves...

Astronomy ⚜ Baking ⚜ Cooking ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food ⚜ Oils

Dancing ⚜ Fashion ⚜ Gems ⚜ Mythology ⚜ Numbers

Roses ⚜ Sweets ⚜ To Fight ⚜ Wine ⚜ Wine-Tasting ⚜ Yoga

has/experiences...

Allergies ⚜ Amnesia ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Bites & Stings ⚜ Bruises

Caffeine ⚜ CO Poisoning ⚜ Color Blindness ⚜ Food Poisoning

Injuries ⚜ Jet Lag ⚜ Mutism ⚜ Pain ⚜ Poisoning

More Pain & Violence ⚜ Viruses ⚜ Wounds

[these are just quick references. more research may be needed to write your story...]

Satsuriku no Tenshi Character Profiles

Ray, Zack, Cathy, Eddie, and Danny’s profiles are from Until Death Do Them Part (volume 1).

Gray’s profile is from Blessing in Disguise (volume 2).

Art by Negiyan.

Scans and translation by me.

Imagine an Angels of Death and a Forest of Drizzling rain crossover- I think there's like one(?) official comic about that actually, but THAT ISN'T NEARLY ENOUGH.

Just like- Suga and Zack would totally hate each other guts. I can imagine some hilarious moments where Zack just yells at Suga for shoving memos in his face- and Suga has to resort to charades or something.

Shiori and Ray would literally be such a wholesome duo as well. Ray would also get along pretty nicely with Sakuma I think.

Ray would be an absolute pro at fishing because she just is, and Zack would just scare them all off.