2p "devoted Communist" ☭

🔪Jeff The Killer & Homicidal Liu Headcanons🔪

~~~~~~

-Okay so Jeff, contrary to popular belief, is really short lol

-And I mean like 5’3 short, he was always super small compared to Liu - and was picked on a lot in school because of it

-But in school he wouldn’t let people pick on him for very long, he was most definitely the type of kid to needlessly fight in order to assert dominance and not look like a punk

-But he also just liked to do it!

-Jeff grew up an extremely angry kid, he’d fight, verbally attack people, throw things, threaten

-While Liu on the other hand was a tall quiet kid. He was the oldest, he read books, played video games and chess - and just wanted to be left alone.

-Oh yeah Liu was like 16, while Jeff was like 14 or 15

-In my headcanoned version they’re presently 27 (Liu), and 25 (Jeff)

-And while Liu was quiet, he understood humans and how to manipulate them amazingly

-He understood what to say, how to act, how to feel and how to cater to people in order to earn their trust

-So he could, of course, get stuff out of them lol

-He’d tell Jeff “look man, you don’t gotta beat the shit out of the teacher because he gave you a bad grade - just suck up to him and manipulate him, it’s much easier” and Jeff of course was like “Nah I ain’t doing that! Didn’t know I had a pussy for a brother”

-Jeff had an extreme distaste for his brother, he never liked him lol

-He thought of him as a weak, snobby goody-goody who never could have any fun

-(“fun” meaning illegal shit obviously)

-And while he was most of those things he definitely was not weak lol - they both were extremely strong, just in different ways

-And Jeff was too stupid to see it

-In Jeff’s mind - Liu’s sucking up = big gigantic pussy syndrome

-And god forbid Jeff take a blow to his own ego by acting like a “pussy bitch”, even if it’s a smart move to make

-All and all Jeff was, and still is a stubborn idiot

-When it came to Jeff and Liu’s parents - Liu was the favorite

-While Jeff was getting in trouble on the daily, fighting and being ignored and looked down upon by his own parents - Liu was getting all the attention and praise, continuously spoiled and shown off

-If any child could fly over the roof and shit gold eggs in their parent’s eyes, it would be Liu

-Jeff sucked at math and English, he hated reading

-Whenever he had to read out loud he acted like a little pisser for a bit, and then would try - failing miserably in the process

-after being corrected a few times by his teacher and other classmates he’d become enraged, throw his chair and desk and leave in a huff

-after awhile the teacher wouldn’t even ask him anymore

-it’s a win I guess?

-And of course Liu had no trouble with both, imagine Jeff coming home:

-“Fucker, help me with English.”

-And of course Liu is like “fine”

-Even though he found it annoying to have to help his brother who struggles so much with reading, he also found it to be comedy gold when he couldn’t even pronounce “Europe” correctly

-And the feeling it gave Liu to correct him was just amazing, anything that made Liu feel smart just filled him with such smug pride

-These tutoring sessions always seemed to turn into a physical fight between the two brothers, Jeff always starting it of course

-Liu usually winning

-Presently Jeff is a wide dude, built like a brick shit house

-Specifically wide with muscles, he has the physique of a body builder, very puffy cartoonish muscles - not extremely pretty looking

-He still suffers from small man syndrome, still extremely angry, still compensating for many things

-He hasn’t become anymore intelligent lol, he’s just become older

-He’s still impulsive, violent, crass, impolite

-But the only respectable thing about him is that he’s honest about who he is. He knows he isn’t the smartest, he knows he definitely isn’t a saint, he hides in dank abandoned houses - drinks like a fish and does hard drugs for the thrill of it. He murders and terrorizes, he tortures, he destroys.

-but he just can not muster a single fuck

-Liu is the complete opposite

-It’s funny, Liu and Jeff could not be anymore similar. They are two sides of a coin, they are both homicidal maniacs who want to fulfill their selfish needs. They don’t feel a single thing except the animalistic impulse to destroy, feed, and procreate. The only difference is one’s a liar, and the other is honest.

-Liu is so scared he’s going to taint his seemingly perfect appearance

-He kills and tortures as well - just behind closed doors.

-The amount of skeletons in his closet could fill 12 cemeteries, the things he’s done would make his parents role in their grave

-Yet he lies and puts on a persona of a smart, soft spoken man who cares for the people around him. A man who says he despises murderous lunatics, when he’s one himself - and usually worse than the other ones he condemns!

-That’s why they’ll never get along, they have no respect for each other

-Liu will always look at Jeff as a dirty, feral dimwit and Jeff will always see Liu as a cowardly liar.

-Anyways, Liu’s full first name is Luis

-Jeff is the type to visit Liu while he’s drunk just to fuck with him

-Liu is a spitting image of his father, both him and his father have very soft, kind features.

-While Jeff looks very much like his mom - either he has a constant scowl on his face or has the most evil smile imaginable

-Jeff just looks like he burns down buildings

-Jeff has crooked ass teeth

-When you think of Liu - think of Patrick Bateman. “I want to fit in.”

-God Liu is so boring he prolly listens to smooth elevator Jazz

-Jeff would listen to the noisiest shit

-like, if this guy had access to the internet and understood it he’d prolly listen to anime speedcore/soundcore

-Like he would listen to this^^^

-And he would fucking love it

-Also Jeff would be so, so problematic

-He’d prolly say the most offensive, ignorant shit just to get a rise out of people

-Anything to start a fight, anything to give him a reason to hurt people

-But I feel as if he’d be extremely misogynistic, like actually

-Would not at all be surprised if he genuinely hated women

-He’s on par with a rabid animal

-And even now at 25 years old, NOBODY LIKES HIM! Even the creepypastas that know of him are so fucking annoyed and/or completely put off by him

-They can’t even really use him for anything, and even if they could, would it be worth it to listen to him?

-He’s also that kid in middle school that’d show people cartel videos

-and Liu HATED it, totally despised it

-He’d be like “what the fuck man?! Cut it out”

-God forbid his reputation be tarnished by his brother

-Legit Liu would not give two shits if he wasn’t his brother, maybe he’d condemn it if people around him were doing the same

-But he personally does not care about social justice or people in general

-He’s just too self absorbed to

-Legit Jeff would be /pol/ on 4chan

-He probably frequented 4chan

-Oh Liu is so fucking big into Facebook

-He’d probably repost some of those stupid inspirational minion memes up on his page as if he was a middle aged mother

-This man is a “live laugh love” type

-If only people knew

~Olive🐰

Стиляга

i love stoner NA bros so much. the idea of alfred and mattie just eyes glazed on the couch eating doritos and nacho dip while watching kitchen nightmares (because as alfred puts it, being yelled at in a british accent is comforting) and cackling every time gordon ramsey reminds them of arthur.

Fumikage Tokoyami:

Brother this is embarrassing.

Eclipse: *holding him up like in Lion King*

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

FIFTEEN

YEARS TO DO THIS.

Mezo Shoji:

Why?

Eclipse:

You shouldn’t hold kids that are under 15 like this.

Happy birthday tokoyami!!! 🎃✨

Do Not Under Any Circumstances Drink From These Teacups

Currently cackling at Vox's blue error screen during "Stayed Gone"

A PROBLEM HAS BEEN DETECTED AND VOX HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN TO PREVENT DAMAGE TO HIS SYSTEMS.

THE PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE CAUSED BY THE FOLLOWING FILE: ALASTOR.EXE

VOX.EXE_CRASH_ERROR_EAT_SHIT_ALASTOR

CHECK TO MAKE SURE ALL ((FUCKING 1930S LOOKING ASS)) HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE IS UP TO DATE AND PROPERLY INSTALLED. ASK VOX FOR ANY VOXTEK UPDATES YOU MIGHT NEED.

IF PROBLEMS CONTINUE, ((FUCK YOU ALASTOR)) DISABLE OR REMOVE ANY ALASTOR(S) FROM THE GENERAL VICINITY. IF YOU NEED TO USE 'UNSAFE MODE' RESET YOUR VOXTEK DEVICE, PRESS F6 AND SELECT 'ADVANCED STARTUP OPTIONS' THEN SELECT 'UNSAFE MODE'

TECHNICAL INFORMATION:

*STOP: ALASTOR.EXE ((OLD TIMEY PRICK.RADIO))*

the killerz