UwU

wow. i can't believe I made it to the for you page. hello. I'm very sorry I did not expect this. I would like to thank my dad

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

happy stab julius caesar day

I've been seeing a lot of posts about piracy lately and in light of this i do need to say something because I've been seeing a lot of misinformation.

anti-viruses, vpns, ad-blockers- none of these are going to help you here.

the first thing you're going to need is a good solid boat (preferably oak wood). you will also want some cannons and a plank depending on the sort of shenanigans you plan on getting into.

Also! Not once have i seen any of you talking about the importance of citrus fruits and vitamin C. antivirus doesn't prevent scurvy. come on you should know this by now.

this sort of misinformation is wildly dangerous and irresponsible.

❌ I hate this stupid body

Generic, makes you sound lame, no fun at parties, generally a downer

✅ I despise this vessel I am entombed within.

Foreboding, mysterious, makes you sound like an eldritch horror trapped biding your time

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

googledocs you are getting awfully uppity for something that can’t differentiate between “its” and “it’s” correctly

Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day

A new study from Boston University’s School of Public Health has found that anyone, including you, could feasibly lose an arm at any moment due to a vast number of possible events outside your control.