Joyoperation - Remade

i have decided that a normal hairline is boring and soulless.

#coping.

my mom is knee deep into bjp and sanghi propaganda. she's watching videos with titles such as - what's inside a muslim's head? she's trying so hard to rationalize this shit. lmao. i can't, just send help.

she's telling me "so many people have come forward with experiences (with muslims). they are so aggressive." so what do we do after a terror attack? recollect and bond over the few times muslims were rude towards you and forget everything else. every other experience laced with harmony and commonality goes out the window, the experiences which by far outnumber the bad ones. great.

i am at that point where i have absolutely no dressing sense. whatever i wear i look like a clown. always imperfect. already ruled out feminine shit ok because all i have is shirts and short kurtas. very few t-shirts. i don't even know what i wanna look like. i don't have it in me to figure it out rn.

yall this country is a joke. they are bursting fire crackers, beating drums, fucking party music everywhere. you wanna know why? cause indian military is successfully intercepting pakistan's missiles. which i am very happy they are. cause this is them actually doing their job. but how unserious are people. imagine being in the cities where the missiles are directed. they are fearing for their lives. people have been killed in other areas.

nothing about this is fun. but this demented media sensationalizing a war and turning it into a marvel movie for their trp. this is indian tv brainrot. plus how jobless are they that they can party whenever they want literally close to midnight? limitless lawlessness.

learning the backstories of any of your female relatives always amounts to taking 500 points of psychological damage and wondering if the world is irredeemably evil

1926 Cat sculpture by Jan and Joel Martel along with their model. Photo by Therese Bonney. From Art Deco, FB.

got out of chem exam to see lunatics praising a cowardly bombing operation where children were injured, perhaps even killed. brainwashed warmongerers far away from the epicentre of the pahalgam attack calling for bloodshed. i hate this country. i fucking hate these stupid social media obsessed people. i hate the eradication of nuance and consideration. i hate these people calling for a spectacle out of death. comparing bombs to diwali like it's a fucking joke. fuck them. fuck u bjp, fuck u silent opposition. a suffering economy, joblessness, massive corruption and multiple states with their own internal devastating conflicts and we are just supposed to look away. accept their heinousness.

From “Cinéastes de notre temps” Robert Bresson, 1965.

"Trees, rivers, plants, and anything that reminds me of her is now a vague image languishing in obscurity; an obscurity plunked from her departure. Since then shadows have also been cut off from the reality, wandering around like a ghost. These images were once objects of my passion of seeing. But now they look like memories rooted in the depth of my soul, or scars of an old wound that don’t heal. It feels like a “presence” that torments me, stresses me out, and screams inside my inner silent world."

Viewer and the object of view [2021] - Nazli Abbaspour