Physically I’m Here Mentally I’m Married To John Price And We Have A Forever Home Together

no idea how to color the dog tho

i know in my heart price's wife orders clothing catalogs for herself in her maiden name every time she gets mad at john

cut to him waving around a rolled up copy of a land's end sales catalog and threatening to bend her over his knee and spank her with it if she doesn't get it out of her head that she's anything other than a price now

When’s it gonna be my tuuuurn

HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD

he looks even sillier I love him (@slepy544890)

'bury all your secrets in my skin'

something about a quiet night with simon in your kitchen; of him hefting you up by your hips to place you on the counter, slotting himself between your legs before dropping low to kiss you; of him bumping noses with you, making you giggle as he huffs, his cheeks thrumming with warmth.

“m’bad,” he says, his breath fanning over your lips. “jus’ really wanted t’kiss you, s’all.”

“s’okay,” you coo, throwing your arms over his shoulder. “i wanna kiss you so bad too.”

“oh yeah?” he hums, teasing, and you feel more than see the way his lips tug up in a crooked smile.

you roll your eyes at his weak tease before pulling him down, finally claiming that kiss because you can’t wait anymore. it’s just a peck, it’s not heated or weighted, and your noses are still slotted awkwardly but you breathe him in, hearing the hum of your refrigerator and the quiet ticking of your oven, and simon’s back in your arms, and truly, you think that this might just be the best kiss you’ve ever had.

i just realized that tumblr allows multiple audio files in a row and they autoplay consecutively on mobile

I'm going feral. Someone put me down permanently, I can't go on with my life knowing that I will never have this man.

simon riley x fem!reader

i need him in a way that is concerning everyone around me. yelling, screaming, biting my fists, and crying real tears.

simon riley definitely brings back souvenirs from all the places he's been during missions.

he mostly does it so you get distracted and not fuss over him gaining a new stab wound or bullet scar every time he comes home. and he thinks he does a real good job, as he pulls it out of his bag and shows it to you. but you're not stupid, and you end up scolding him for thinking you wouldn't notice his limping.

his favourite souvenirs are magnets — your fridge is filled to the brim with them — and shirts or hats that have some kind of pun with a country's name, or just the simple i love [city name].

he'll never admit it, but he spends way too much time (when he has it) trying to pick a gift. tells the employee to wrap it carefully and does his best not to break the easily breakable things. watching your smile, bright and wide, when he shows you what he's bought, keeps him going.

Simon loves the scent of your hair and your skin, but he would do that thing where he would sniff like a dog right in ur ear because it tickles and his favorite pastime is annoying you

pretends to go in for a kiss and just

sniffsniffsniffsniff

YES HE WOULD

He’s such an ass for doing it too because he’s obnoxious with it. Baiting you with a kiss only to SNIIIFFF so loudly in your ear that it’s like going through a wind tunnel

Laughs when you yell at him and holds you so you can’t get away (he obviously stops when you’re genuinely angry) so he can do it again and again

Also jokes that your ear smells great