Boy Doesn’t Give A Damn, Girl Finds Inspiration In Correctly Defining “tomorrow”, And All Of Us

Gotta be honest, Columbus’s undeniable dickery aside, I see 200-year-old monument destroyed and my entire feeling is

1695

BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MY SEXY

How sexy is your name?

Add the letters in your first name using the numbers below =)  - Under 60 points= NOT TOO SEXY - Between 61-300 points= PRETTY SEXY - Between 301-599 points= VERY SEXY - Over 600= THE ULTIMATE SEXIEST

  A=100 B=14 C=9 D=28 E=145 F=12

G=3 H=10 I=200 J=100 K=114 L=100 M=25

N=450 O=80 P=2 Q=12 R=400 S=113 T=405

U=11 V=10 W=10 X=3 Y=210 Z=23

Don’t forget to add your name and your total!!!

Which makes Kasich, what, Edmure Tully? Seems like a decent guy, so of course everyone kind of forgets he exists?

Man, Clara is a terrible liar.

Me trying to figure out the distance between places and how long it’ll take a character to get there in a society that travels mostly on foot:

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Okay, it’s like this:

RT gives their percentage based on a simple yes or no -- good or not. But the “average rating” is based on averaging critics’ ratings of the film, which are a little more nuanced than “good” vs. “rotten”. Generally speaking, if a critic is rating on a 4-star scale, 3 is considered good, 2 is considered bad, and 2 1/2 is meh. 2 1/2 usually but not always ends up as a negative review on there. So a theoretical film that got 2 1/2 stars across the board verses one that got 1 star across the board are going to get the same RT score of 0%. But the 2 1/2 star one will have an average rating of 6.3/10 (2.5*2.5 rounded up) and the 1 star film will get an average rating of 2.5/10.

So, The Room got some “positive” reviews which give it 2 1/2 stars or 3 as an accidental camp classic ala Plan 9 From Outer Space, but anyone who reviewed it seriously gave it 1 star or 0 stars or something in that area.

Whereas Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice apparently has some undeniably strong elements (Affleck’s performance, many of the visuals, some of the action beats, some interesting themes buried in the rubble), so its negative reviews are almost all 2 or 2 1/2 star reviews. It’s too good to go to a bottom-of-the-barrel rating. So the same number of critics gave it a good review, but its average score is a lot higher than The Room, because its positive qualities drive up the ratings.

Congrats to Tommy Wiseau, who Warner Bros. has hired to direct Justice League. 

from The Memory Palace, by Nate DiMeo

TFW you learn your titty art was found on the walls of a murder scene. Buckle up for this ride!!

So, 5 years ago in Grand Rapids, MI, a body from the neck down was found dumped in a park after a man went to meet someone from Craigslist. His pregnant girlfriend was missing. This is why we don’t meet people off CL, folks.

The police managed to figure out who did it within a few days, but the guy fled, there was a high speed chase the wrong way down the highway, crashed his car, and shot himself in the face before they could get him in custody. Pregnant girlfriend dead in the trunk.

There were a lot of unanswered questions. Like where was the head? His skull was found last week, miles away from where the body had been found, so the story has been back in the news recently, and a friend noticed something… interesting in one of the crime scene photos.

You see, years ago, back when I was with Super Happy Funtime Burlesque, we had an art day where we covered our tits in paint and made prints which we sold at shows. I made this clown titty print as a joke and titled it “Let’s Play Forever.“ We joked at the time of creation that it was a really creepy title but haha whatever. I really didn’t anticipate anyone would actually buy it. I was just painting weird clowns on my titties for fun. Like ya do. #justgirlythings

But apparently this murderer was 1: a big fan of our show and 2: looked at this and thought "Yes THIS is what I need for the kill room. It’s really gonna tie the place together.” I like the floggers on either side of it, really gives it that feeling of if a bot created Stephen King porn.

But here’s the kicker: the murder victim was… 

MY EX ROOMMATE. 

Through sheer coincidence one of the last things SOMEONE I KNEW saw was A PICTURE OF MY CLOWN TITTIES.

What is it like to be a normal person because shit like this happens to me all the time and I just wonder sometimes how most people live their lives free of this kinda chicanery.

I’m just proud to have some of my art hanging in the most prestigious museum of all: a police evidence locker.