My Beliefs Have Always Wavered. I've Been At This For Three Years And I've Gone Through Periods Where

My beliefs have always wavered. I've been at this for three years and I've gone through periods where I feel completely disconnected to belief in deities and more connected other times.. The rituals and offering cycled get quite mentally exhausting so... honestly I usually don't do much beyond venting and chatting and offerings of tasks and sweets when I remember. 😅 whether it's Loki or just my inner thoughts and biases listening and responding, it doesn't really super matter as it makes me feel less like I'm going at life alone.

Loki has always felt like a friend who I can always fall back on... during the month of October and in February I usually fall back into my practices and reconnect with gods I worship. Loki is usually the one I go to first and I'm always so excited to reconnect with them!

In my experience Loki never asks for anything too big of me that wouldn't benefit me or my family long-term. The most They want is like a quick sketch or a small share of candy or a food I've prepared or had a hand in preparing.

Loki has always kind of been a shoulder to cry on... I mean... I genuinely think they may have had a hand in pushing me to the path of therapy. I also found myself pushed towards a journey of self discovery which felt amazing... still does!

I came out as agender last year and I'm very happy with that, My family is finally beginning to really get used to calling me by my new name instead of my dead name.

The goofy remarks this deity has are unparalleled... sometimes I'm communicating with them and the most bonkers shit happens during or immediately after, Or I just get the sudden, mysterious urge to pull out my pendulum and all I get is the word "balls" or something 😅.. and ofc no matter where I put the candle that's theirs, the wick is always in strange shapes (none of the others are ever like that despite being from the same sellers and having tried multiple different scents) and the flame dances even without much movement of air...

Recently I've had a cat pass away a few months ago and my mother as well...actually just yesterday.. so... for the first time in a long while, I spoke to Loki, Hel and Freya simply requesting that they ensure my mother's journey to wherever she ends up.. afterlife or not is peaceful. And It was very peaceful. I believe that one or all were there to help guide her way into the unknowns of death..

Same deal with my cat... Both times I felt an almost instant feeling of relief and comfort knowing I no longer had to stress about either dying alone, That I could relax and focus on healing.... and I didn't and still don't feel pressured to give anything back, though I absolutely will during my Samhain traditions which I will be celebrating with my family.

Dear Lokeans and Norse Pagans,

I just want to hear your experiences with Loki.

I've been 3 years now into Norse Paganism and Loki...But it still feels like too short time and that I still have to learn so much. He has guided me to a great transformation of myself through this time....yet I think the snake has more skin to shed. I just need to hear more opinions and experiences.

Also he is such a hard deity to get over. I don't know if it's him who doesn't let go or me...But I like it...I really like working with him...

Dear Lokeans And Norse Pagans,

More Posts from Jinxxedmisery and Others

6 years ago

Jumin's reaction to Elizabeth III eating MC's beloved pet fish?

Thank you for requesting!!! 

-You and Jumin were sitting in the living room. 

-Earlier, you had brought your new pet fish to Jumin’s house… 

-You never thought Elizabeth would do it….

-You never thought she’d have the gall to knock over the fish bowl. 

-You both heard the crash from where you were sitting. 

-It startled you…

-You had thought she had knocked over a vase or something..

-But when you entered the room..

-There it was… 

-Elizabeth III eating your pet fish. 

-It was already dead.

-You were heartbroken. 

-You felt tears running down your cheeks. 

-Jumin grabbed Elizabeth and scolded her. 

-But the damage was already done.. 

-It wasn’t coming back. 

-”I’ll get you a new one, MC.” 

-You stared at him blankly. 

-”I loved that fish.. It can’t be replaced.” 

-You left the room… 

-For a while you were inconsolable. 

-But after a day or two you got over it.

-It was just a fish.

-The next time you were at Jumin’s he had bought an entire fish tank and filled it with various types of fish.

-You forgave Elizabeth III for murdering your first fish.. 

-After all, it was just her instincts, she couldn’t help it. 


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6 years ago

Could I please request Vanderwood comforting MC after a nightmare? I love everything you’ve written for him so far!!! Thank you for giving him the love he deserves!!!

Thanks anon, I’m really glad you like my work!! You’re actually my first request, so thank you very much for requesting, I hope you like this one too! :D 

-You woke up in a cold sweat, your heart was racing, you had a nightmare.

-It was one of those intense, realistic nightmares, you’d dreamt that the Intelligence Agency had gotten to Vanderwood, they had murdered him right in front of you and were about to kill you when your dream ended.

-Vanderwood had woken up a few minutes before you from you kicking him and screaming. 

-He was confused at first but soon realized what was going on. 

-Vandermom mode activated

-”Hey, It’s okay, it was just a nightmare”

-He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. 

-You violently sobbed. 

-”Idiot, you’re getting my shirt wet” He complained making you chuckle slightly. 

-”Sorry, I can’t help it” you replied. 

-He smiled and kissed your forehead 

-”That’s okay baby girl, I was kidding” 

-You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck

-”want to talk about it or something?” 

-you told him about your nightmare.

-”I’m not going anywhere, not for a long while, Everything will be fine babe.” 

-you smiled at his response

-You felt yourself being lulled back to sleep from the steady sound of his breathing and heartbeat. 

-Before you knew it, you were asleep again. This time, you had a pleasant dream.

-Vanderwood watched you sleep for a little while before falling asleep himself.

6 years ago

Vandy reacting to finding blood on the bathroom floor and freaking out, thinking MC was hurt, but she just accidentally cut herself while shaving and forgot to clean up?

Thanks for requesting, Anon!

-It was like a horror scene…

-Blood EVERYWHERE. 

-But mostly in the tub and on the floor.

-Vanderwood was mortified

-How could that much blood come out of a person? 

-He looked around the house for you. 

-He called out your name. 

-He had finally found you in the living room. 

-You looked to be okay. 

-”MC Are you alright? There’s a ton of blood in the bathroom and it’s not mine.” He asked

-You laughed

-”Oh  don’t worry, I just cut myself while shaving. I must have forgotten to clean up… My bad” 

-He breathed a sigh of relief. You weren’t hurt.

-But you did leave a mess…

-A big mess… 

-He still didn’t understand how you could have bled so much… But he didn’t question it.

-”You better clean it up” He growled.

-You gulped.

-”Y…Yes sir” You said before  racing to the bathroom to clean it all up. 


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6 years ago

Vandy’s reaction to MC waking him up with kisses?

Thank you for requesting, Anon!!

-You had woken up before Vanderwood. 

-You guessed that he had a late night. 

-But you knew he liked waking up with you, so you decided to wake him up.

-You rolled on top of him and started kissing him. 

-You started with a gentle cheek kiss. 

-Then a forehead kiss.

-Then a peck on the lips. 

-He was still asleep. 

-You then forced your tongue in his mouth. 

-That seemed to wake him up. 

-He pushed you away. 

-”What are you doing?” He asked tiredly. 

-”Kissing you.” You replied.

-”Oh ok.” He said before pulling you back in for another kiss.

-Honestly he really enjoyed days where you’d wake him like this.


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7 months ago

Omg I always wanted to see a theatre production of Castlevania.. the fact that an all female troupe is doing it makes me so happy omg 😅

Renowned All-female Japanese Theatre Troupe Takarazuka Revue Will Be Performing An Official And Original
Renowned All-female Japanese Theatre Troupe Takarazuka Revue Will Be Performing An Official And Original

Renowned all-female Japanese theatre troupe Takarazuka Revue will be performing an official and original Castlevania musical in 2025 titled "Castlevania: Awakening Under Moonlight"

Read the full article here


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6 years ago

someone private messaged me and asked me to reblog this so it was easier for them to find... so there you go!! Here’s the original post if you want to see it on my tumblr page lol and remember, if you’re ever wondering where my rules, masterlist and stuff is just go to my page and click the links saying “Masterlist” “Wattpad” or “Request rules” and you can also send me asks and stuff there!! Hope that helps a little bit

Request rules:

No NSFW (If you want nsfw I might make a book on wattpad strictly for nsfw requests… but since tumblr has this no nsfw thing… That’s not happening) 

Requests should be short… don’t give me a 30 page essay on what you want… 

For now, I want to focus on Mystic Messenger, I may do requests for other things I like in the future. 

I WILL NOT DO ONESHOT OR FULL STORY REQUESTS!! They take me far too long to plan and write. I’ll stick with headcanons since they’re relatively simple and quick for me to write lol. 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! Please use my ask to request any requests!!! I’ll try to do it as soon as possible!

if you want to read my original wattpad where my non requested HC’s are go here. 

6 years ago

Do you have any hc’s for Vandy getting jealous? Like what makes him jealous and if he’s more clingy or sth with MC when it happens?

Yea I do, thank you very much for requesting anon!!!

-You and Vanderwood decided to go to a bar.

-Of course Vanderwood knew this would happen…

-Some guy was getting all close to you…

-Vanderwood was staring daggers at the guy sitting beside you.

-What really pushed him over the edge was when the guy put an arm around you.

-Vanderwood gritted his teeth as he approached the guy.

-”Hey asshole, she’s taken” he said in a bitter, agressive tone.

-The guy looked up, gulped and got up from his place beside you, fear clearly present in his eyes.

-”s.. sorry man.. I didn’t know” 

-Vanderwood rolled his eyes and sat down with you for the rest of the night… and he didn’t let any man approach you for the rest of the night.  

-Typically he’ll become very possessive when jealous

-This man becomes jealous very easily, so be careful who you hang around with.  


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4 years ago

Hello! I was wondering if you could write about Misa from Death note. What i would like is the reader saving Misa from jumping off the building at the end of the show. Eventually they start to hang out and maybe get in a relationship. Would she be as possessive as she was with Light?🤔 It can be gender neutral and i understand if this is a sensitive topic. And if you do end up writing my request, please take your time! Anyway, thats all, have a nice day/night!😊❤

Ooh yay finally an ask!!! 🤣 and of course I don't mind, these topics don't bother me much at all! I did decide to take this in kind of a yandere direction tho..if you want me to make one that's more traditionally romantic, I can, just send me another ask! Thanks for requesting anon! ❤❤❤

Trigger warning: themes of suicide, talks of depression, obsession, super unhealthy relationship dynamic.

Hello! I Was Wondering If You Could Write About Misa From Death Note. What I Would Like Is The Reader

Misa's life was ruined... it was all Near... No.. L's fault..

The one she had loved so dearly had been ripped right from her hands.

She no longer saw any reason to live.

As a single tear fell from her face, Misa lifted her foot to step from the roof she had been standing on... fully intending to fall to her death.

Surely death was better than a life without Light...

But just as she was about to jump, somebody yanked her away from the edge.

They had a look of genuine concern on their face

"Don't do it, please! Th...there must be someone out there who would miss you"

Misa sighed before answering.

"No, the only person that ever loved me just died, I'm completely alone and no one wants me anyway."

"I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm sure you'll find more people who love you! You seem like a very lovable girl."

They gave her a gentle smile...

And in that moment seeing their smile... Misa fell in love...

Actually it was more of an obsession.

Their encounter was fairly quick.

After Misa confirmed that she was alright, they exchanged phone numbers and parted ways.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

It all started out as a genuine friendship from your point of view...

Fun Coffee dates every chance you could get, gossiping about the goings on in the community.

But with every day, Misa felt closer to you.

She couldn't live with the thought of you with anyone else....

If she could, she would just kill off every other human being on earth so just the two of you remained.

Misa decided to tell you how she felt.

It wasn't any extravagant confession.

She basically blurted out how she felt when you were watching a movie together.

When you accepted her confession, her soul just about escaped her body.

From that moment on, it was daily dates and phone calls or texts almost every hour.

She was always with you, always sure to throw threatening looks at anyone who so much as looked at you.

She never fully forgot Light though, however, you were a wonderful replacement for him.


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6 years ago

!!!!! Can I request Vanderwood reacting to his MC calling Seven and yelling at him for always stressing Vandy out and making him clean his bunker all the time?

Lol that sounds fun thank you for requesting, Anon! <3

-You

-Were

-LIVID

-Vanderwood had come home from cleaning Seven’s house and he was exhausted. 

-He’d told you that he’d spent 6+ hours cleaning Seven’s disgusting household. 

-Every time Vanderwood went over there, he had to clean. 

-You could tell that he was stressed.

-SOOOO

-You did the only thing that you felt you could do…

-That was to phone Seven and rip him a new one.. 

-”SEVEN, I SWEAR TO GOD IF VANDERWOOD HAS TO TOUCH ANOTHER DAMN BAG OF HONEY BUDDHA CHIPS I AM GOING TO KILL YOU” You screamed, almost deafening Seven.

 -”But MC, I don’t have time to clean.” 

-”But you have time to screw around on the messenger all day, clean your cars, drive your cars, build useless robots, hack useless things that don’t relate to your job and get up and get more honey buddha chips and PHD pepper from your storage room.”

-Seven laughed nervously.

-”But I don’t want to clean” he whined. 

-You were NOT having that

-”Well too bad, Vanderwood comes home every day exhausted and stressed. I think it’s about time you learn to clean your house by yourself regularly!”

-Vanderwood had heard you yelling and wondered what was going on. So he entered the room. 

-You had just hung up.

-Your face was red, your hands were balled up into fists and your eyes were almost bulging out. 

-”MC, What’s wrong” 

-”THAT ASSHOLE” You screamed

-He backed up a bit. He’d never seen you this angry before. 

-”MC?” 

-”I hate how he always has to put you to work, he can’t get up off of his lazy ass and clean himself.” You growled.

-He caught on to what you were angry about. 

-”MC, don’t worry about it, I can handle it” 

-”Don’t lie, I know you hate it, I know you’re stressed out about it.” 

-He sighed. You were right, He hated every second of it. 

-He was happy that you were defending him, but he hated to see you so worked up. 

-”MC, I’ll deal with him.  After what I plan to do to him, he won’t be asking me to clean ever again” 

-You were curious about what he planned to do, but didn’t ask him about it… You were just hoping whatever he planned to do would work… 

-A few days later, Vanderwood looked more at peace.

-You finally decided to ask him what he did. 

-”Oh, I just tied him to a chair and tased him for over an hour… I’m surprised I didn’t kill him or something.” 

-”So, did he stop asking you to clean” 

-He nodded. 

-You both erupted into fits of laughter. And from that day forward, Seven didn’t ask Vanderwood to clean… as often as he used to…


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6 years ago

Minor trio reacting to some guy slipping a roofie into MC’s drink when they’re at a bar together?

Thanks for requesting, anon!! This seems like it’ll be interesting to write!!

V

-You were sitting beside V in a bar.

-Every so often you’d go to bars for dates.

-Usually it would go smoothly, you’d talk for hours over your drinks, Then go home.

-Tonight was different. 

-You had walked away from your drink to use the bathroom when a guy came by where you were sitting. 

-V saw the guy slip something in your drink. 

-The guy wasn’t very discreet about it, but no one else seemed to care. 

-V sighed and decided to order you a new drink.

-This time he made sure to keep close guard over it. 

-You didn’t even notice that V switched out your drinks. 

-When he finally told you about the guy who tried to slip a roofie into your drink, you were mortified. 

-You could’ve been kidnapped. 

-But you knew V wouldn’t let that happen.

Saeran

-You were both sitting in a bar together, talking..

-That was when the guy sitting beside you slipped something in your drink. 

-Saeran had seen it happen. 

-He was beyond pissed. 

-You noticed his face twist in anger.

-You didn’t even have time to question him about it. 

-He got up and grabbed the guy by the collar. 

-”HOW DARE YOU TRY TO DRUG MY GIRL” Saeran screamed in the guy’s face before punching him in the jaw. 

-Saeran effectively started a bar fight. 

-Long story short, he was kicked out.

-You both went home together, and he never took you to a bar ever again. 

Vanderwood

-Vanderwood decided to take you to his favorite bar.

-It was honestly a spur of the moment thing, you were walking past the bar when he decided to take you there.

-You both got seated and started chatting about things. 

-Then you got talking with this other guy. 

-And it all went downhill from there. 

-The guy ended up slipping a roofie in your drink. 

-Luckily, Vanderwood had noticed. 

-Not wanting to make a big scene, he made an excuse that he needed to go home for something. 

-He then grabbed your hand and pulled along behind him out of the bar. 

-You were confused… until he told you what happened on your walk home. 

-You understood and thanked him. 

-if he hadn’t been there, You’d probably be in some dude’s basement or something. 

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jinxxedmisery - JinxxedMisery
JinxxedMisery

Artist/ fanfic writer 20 they/them ✌ 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights are human rights 🏳️‍⚧️ Astarion brainrot is going strong.. save me

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